Sidhuisms .... At their Best

Here are Some Siddhuisms' to keep you laughing ??? or Thinking ???

1. As you grow older u get better unless you are a banana.
2. Flowing like a rampaging river
3. As sleek as a Gazelle
4. Falling like Cycles in a cycle stand
5. Moving like a meter of an Indian Taxi
6. If ‘ifs and buts’ were ‘pots and pants’ there would be no tinkers!
7. MAY BE is not a Honey Bee
8. It is very difficult to kill a man who is hell-bent on committing suicide.
9. as dead as a dodo
10. a desperate man drinks coffee with a fork
11. If my aunty had been a man she would have been my uncle.
12. As straight as a ram-rod.
13. As innocent as freshly laid eggs.
14. All that comes from a cow is not milk..
15. Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald
16. You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.
17. When you are dining with the demon you've got to have a long spoon!
18. Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.
19. Its not all over till the fat lady sings
20. As cool as a cucumber, as wily as a fox
21. A fallen lighthouse is more dangerous than a reef.
22. You cannot ride a seat less bicycle without getting blisters on your bums
23. Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.
24. If the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open.
25. As crisp as a cracker
26. Beauty even when silent is eloquent.
27. You got to choose between tightening your belt and losing your pants.
28. The cat with gloves catches no mice
29. You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.
30. Beauty bewitches both the holder and the beholder
31. Even a turtle won’t move until he sticks his neck out.
32. Keep still and have thy will
33. He who wants a full farm must have old cocks with young bulls
34. The world is a large fruit cake you will always find some nuts in it.
35. What cannot be cured must be endured
36. Liquor talks mighty loud when it’s let loose from the jug.
37. Character is not made in a crisis, it is exhibited.
38. In times of prosperity, remember it’s the fattest pig that goes to the butcher.
39. Like a Tuk-Tuk he is having ignition problems
40. As sweet as tooti frooti
41. A good lather is half the shave…
42. Cats on a hot tin roof
43. Wickets are like wives - you never know which way they will turn!
44. A revolutionary idea is usually the one with its sleeves rolled up
45. After marriage, the other man’s wife looks more beautiful.
46. Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.
47. As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.
48. Beware of the naked man who offers you his shirt.
49. Even a cock crows before his own dung hill
50. I have seen many ladies displaying different styles and different styles displaying ladies.
51. It's like the brooding hen sitting over a china egg.
52. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. And venture belongs to the adventurous.
53. One who doesn't throw the dice can never expect to score a six.
54. The ball whizzes past like a bumblebee and the Indians are in the sea.
55. The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.
56. The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason.
57. There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it's that of an oncoming train which will run them over.
58. We are all Adam's children - it's just the skin that makes all the difference.
59. We'll take the cake with the red cherry on top.
60. You can't play a symphony alone, it takes an orchestra to play it
61. In the Orchard of opportunity, you cant wait for the fruit to drop
62. Money is like manure. Its no good unless you spread it!
63. They are so timid, they wouldn’t say Boo to a goose
64. Good intentions die unless utilized
65. Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.
66. Statistics are like bikinis, what they reveal is suggestive, what they hide is essential!
67. He played that like a dwarf at a urinal.
68. I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination
69. To catch a trout, you must be prepared to lose a fly.
70. He has a back lift like an octopus falling out of a tree, all over the place!
71. There is always free cheese in a mousetrap
72. Come to my parlor said the spider to the fly
73. A dog kennel is no place to hide a sausage
74. You can never unscramble eggs.
75. Call the bear uncle until you cross his bridge.
76. Wallowing in foolishness like a rhinoceros in an African bog.
77. Gamblers they Are like Toilets BROKE one Day Flush The Next
78. The only thing you get in life without effort is dandruff.
79. You may have 40 million reasons for failure, not a single excuse
80. The real bone of contention is that there cannot be any fruit without a root
81. I grow daily to honour facts more and more and theory less and less, and facts will not cease to exist just because they are ignored.
82. It was like an "umbrella without ribs" and "sleeping" on the issue for the last one year.
83. It was the general proposing and the captain disposing.
84. Spit on your hands! Take the black flag! And start slitting throats!
85. The ball went so high it could have got an airhostess on its way down!
86. This team is like bicycles in a cycle stand… one falls and the entire row falls!
87. The scoreboard is running faster than an Indian Taximeter!
88. The batsman is like a three-wheeler. Sucks a lot of fuel, but cannot go beyond 30!
89. The wily fox is back… it is an ill omen when a fox licks the lambs!
90. A big outcry but no outcome!
91. Just because a rose smells sweet, you do not use it in the soup!
92. Bad habits are like comfy beds - easy to get into, very difficult to get out off.
93. You aren’t rewarded for having brains, you’re rewarded for using them.
94. A lemon squeezed too hard yields a bitter juice.
95. Hope is putting faith to work when doubting would be easier.
96. Curry is a worry.
97. To achieve, you have to believe
98. Success is the fruit of concentration.
99. Strike when the iron is hot, and make the iron hot by striking.
100. Strength grows in the garden of patience
101. Your originality is your strength.
102. If you enjoy a particular thing, you will always succeed at it
103. Winning is not important, but wanting to win is.
104. When you are submerged up to your ears in trouble, try using the part that isn’t submerged.
105. Faith in your abilities will help you face the music, even if you don’t like the tune.
106. Penny and penny will make many.
107. Every dog is a lion at his own door.
108. Disappointments need to be cremated, not embalmed.
109. Those openers are like nappies, and changed for the same reason.
110. A tree is always known by its fruit.
111. The blood of the soldier gives glory to the general.
112. Troubles are like babies - the more you nurse them, the bigger they grow.
113. The first blow is half the battle.
114. A recession is where you have to tighten your belt. A depression is where you have no belt to tighten. When you have no pants to hold up, it is time to panic.
115. Next to good judgement, diamonds and pearls are the next rarest thing.
116. When everything is coming your way, you might just be in the wrong lane of traffic.
117. It is choice, not chance that determines destiny.
118. Fine feathers make a fine bird.
119. Flattery is like chewing gum, you chew it for a while, don’t swallow it - and after a while, spit it out!
120. Every time a lamb bleats, it loses a mouthful of hay
121. Judge people by their performance, not by their intentions.
122. A true professional is like a chameleon - he will change colour to suit his surroundings.
123. Easy to criticise an egg, difficult to lay one.
124. Keep feeding your faith until your doubts starves to death.
125. Experience is the thing you get right after you need it.
126. When you’re running with the big dogs, you can’t piddle like a puppy.
127. It is better to pluck the fruit from the tree than wait for it to fall.
128. You’ve got to put the saddle on the right horse.
129. Success is a matter of luck and pluck.
130. Big boast, small roast
131. The light at the end of the tunnel is nothing but an oncoming train.
132. The whole world is not cleaned by soft soap.
133. Good deeds speak for themselves, the tongue only speaks of their eloquence.
134. Speed has little to do with your progress - it is more to do with direction.
135. If fate gives you a lemon, make lemonade.
136. There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
137. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
138. The only thing you can get in a hurry is trouble.
139. Hope is the elixir of life.
140. A man who is heading nowhere is sure to reach his destination.
141. He’s like a tornado - he can really blow you off your feet.
142. Commonsense is the knack of seeing things as they are and doing things as they need to be done.
143. A pessimist is one who burns bridges before the enemy gets to them.
144. He who ceases to praise ceases to prosper.
145. This is a batsman who is as erratic as the electricity supply in most parts of India.
146. You can take the tiger out of the jungle, but you can’t take the jungle out of the tiger.
147. It’s not the early bird that gets the worm, it’s the smart one.
148. Don’t die until you’re dead.
149. Patience is the greatest of all shock-absorbers.
150. Ideas are funny things - they don’t work unless you do.
151. Some students will drink from the fountain of knowledge - others will simply gargle.
152. To err is human - but not too often.
153. If you want your hen to lay, you have to bear the cackling.
154. You can’t prevent the consequences of your mistakes.
155. It is tiny droplets of water that make a shower. He’s believing his doubt and doubting his belief.
156. You always make your own luck.
157. In life, as in chess, it is foresight which will win.
158. A small leak can sink a big ship.
159. His mind is on the boisterous sea of doubt.
160. A good example is the best sermon you can ever preach.
161. Talent is nothing if it’s not controlled, harnessed and disciplined.
162. Failure is a better teacher than success, but it will seldom get an apple.
163. The weakness of your opposition is your strength.
164. When you are an anvil, hold yourself still, When you’re a hammer, strike your fill.
165. They’re trying to make a whistle sound like a trumpet.
166. The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice, the longer the rope, the tighter the noose.
167. The world is all about mind and matter; I don't mind and you don't matter.
168. If one-day cricket was pyjama cricket, then Twenty20 is underwear cricket.
169. He's shredded that into smithereens
170. A fifty is like kissing a virgin, you just have to go on!
171. Comments should be like skirts. Short enough to keep your attention, butlong enough to cover the subject
172. The Sri Lankans are running between the wickets as if their wives are chasing them with a belan.
173. He is like a fighter plane with the speed of an auto rickshaw.
174. Indian Cricket is like an Indian Monsoon, When it Rains it Pours, else there is a drought.
175. Cricket is the game of glorious uncertainties! Glorious-when Sri Lankans play, uncertain-when India plays
176. In London they drive on the left, in India we drive on what is left
177. Indians should now be on their toes like midgets at a urinal.
178. For the Indians now it's 'fight back' or 'flight back'
179. He flew like a bird and plucked it out of thin air.
180. Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.
181. The Indians are jelling together as a cohesive unit.
182. Dravid has hit this shot as straight as a candle.
183. Ajit Agarkar is as fresh as a daisy.
184. Sourav Ganguly is "The Burden of Calamity"
185. Indians have certainly erased the tag of tigers at home, pussy cats abroad!
186. Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze
187. New Zealanders have their limits, The kiwis are the birds that cannot fly!
188. He is a dibbly dobbly bowler
189. He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.
190. If only he could learn how to play, he would make a great player!
191. They will not only come back home with their cup, but with the opposition's cherries as well
192. Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.
193. He has thrown him to the wolves
194. He opened him like a can of beans
195. We are all Adam's children — it's just the silk that makes all the difference!
196. Right now he's looking like a Cheshire cat that's had loads of cream!
197. He is flowing like a river - simply unstoppable!
198. Great feathers make great birds!
199. My idea of a bird is 36-24-36.
200. A girl born beautiful is half married
201. A fly in the soup’s better than no meat at all.
202. Flaming youth cooks its own goose.
203. Strong men and waterfalls channel their own paths.
204. No one reads a book to reach the middle. Ending is the most important part of the story.
205. There is no point in aiming at the target if you are loaded with blanks.
206. God is always on the side of the heavier battalion.
207. It is always difficult to dance on a crooked floor.
208. Small leaks can sink large ships.
209. They are like a “golden drum” which makes a lot of noise but was hollow inside.
210. Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope
211. Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!
212. He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.
213. Kumble's bowling at the moment is flat as a Dosa
214. I am a sepoy and will follow the guidance of my leaders.
215. As a rule man is a fool, when it’s hot he wants it cool, and when it’s cool he wants it hot, Always wants what is not!
216. Warne is a victim of his own success. He has taken to women the way an ostrich takes to the skies.
217. This bowler bowls so slow that the batsmen have enough time to call home and talk to their wives between every delivery
218. Pitches are like husband!!! They keep slowing down!!!
219. His slower ball was so slow that my mama can run faster than that
220. His footwork is like a car in a traffic jam
221. The ball missed the bat like a kiss in a hindi movie
222. He is a constipated batsman/bowler, puts in a lot of effort and has verylittle results to show for in the end.
223. Sachin Tendular drives the ball faster than Michael Schumacher's Ferrari.
224. Ever since he started endorsing for Ferrari, his batting has gone into 7thgear
225. A dead man is no good to the Society. A dead man's family is also nogood to the society
226. When you fall on your back side the only place you can look is up
227. I don’t trust the Indian batting, they can snatch defeat from the jaws ofvictory.
228. The trouble with Father Time is that it did not even wait for a woman
229. One Day Cricket is like a pyjama; every one fits into it.
230. If you sow the wind you reap the whirlwind.
231. Rusty brains don’t squeak
232. Don't open your old umbrella and run it over your shoulder.
233. Only one man in a thousand is the leader of men, rest 999 follow thewomen
234. Blondes read OIL as 710
235. You don’t judge the Horse-power of a vehicle by the size of its exhaust.
236. Kenya in South Africa was like a mountain having labor pains.
237. India looks like a crippled cobra whose fangs are clipped.
238. He is racing with me, in my spanking new car, on his old bike which has
lost its chain.(He ain't going any where).He started at the bottom and is still there.
239. Give them a long rope and they will hang themselves from it.
240. If there is no difference of opinion, there will be no horse race
241. When you can kiss the mistress, never kiss the maid!!!!
242. Mad dogs keep barking at the elephant, but the king elephant does not bother about them at all.
243. New burdens are always heavy when everybody lifts
244. You are your own doctor in curing your cold feet.
245. Thoughts are the real interpreters of your actions.
246. Faith in your abilities, that’s got to do wonders for you.
247. There are 2 things to which you've got 2 surrender; one is the weather and the other your wife.
248. The hands that carry the wound should also carry its cure.
249. Fear is the dark-room where negatives develop.
250. It does not take much 2 do things,but it takes a lot 2 decide what 2 do.
251. We must prove that it's skill and not strength that governs its ship
252. It is better 2 have talent and use it well rather than 2 have it in abundance and squander it.
253. Honour is the spur that pricks the princely mind.
254. Past is bucket full of ashes
255. Washing coal with a soap will do nothing for u.
256. Take pride out of man and he is like an umbrella without the ribs.
257. Calamity is the touchstone 2 a brave mind.
258. Experience is a hard teacher, it gives u the test first and then the lesson.
259. It takes very little strength to do things, but it takes a lot 2 decide what 2 do.
260. Nothing great was ever achieved without an act of decision.
261. The past is the best prophet for the future.
262. A Sailor has a wife on every port.
263. Defeats need to be cremated and not embalmed.
264. An optimist is a person who calls bullshit a fertilizer.

Saturday, June 2, 2007 by Hari
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