Archive for July 2007

ORKUT SONG --- WOH SCRAPBOOKS

Orkut Song

kyun aajkal homework kam orkut zyada hai
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hain.........
kal tha top per aaj 40 bhi zyada hain
lagta fail hone ka pura-pura iraada hai
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
o o o o o ...

College ki inn classes me,
boring si ek teacher hai
jabse mila hai orkut
badla har ek manzar hain
dekho jahaan mein neeli neeli iss screen tale
dost naye naye hain jaise milte hue
orkut mere khwaabon mein jawaabon mein sawaalon mein
har din chura orkut ko main laata hoon khayalon mein
kya mujhe pyar hain aah
orkut se pyar hain aah
kya mujhe pyar hain aah ..

Saturday, July 14, 2007 by Hari
Leave a comment

Cows, Cows, Cows

Chandrababuism

You have two cows in Vijayawada. You hook them to internet and milk them from Hyderabad.

Jayalalithaism

You have two cows. You teach them to cry,"Ammaaaaaaa..." and fall at Your feet.

Karunanidhiism

You have two cows. You give one to your son and the other to your nephew.

Gandhism

You have two cows. But you drink goat's milk.

Indiraism

You have two bulls. You adamantly consider them as cows.

Lalooism

You have two cows. You buy Rs. 900 Crore worth of cattlefeed for them.

Rajnikantism

You have two cows. You throw them into air and catch their milk in your mouth.

Rajivism

You have two cows. You paint them both to get colourful milk.

Softwarism (Ultimate....)

Client has 2 cows and u need to milk them

1. First prepare a document when to milk them (Project kick off)

2. Prepare a document how long you have to milk them (Project plan)

3. Then prepare how to milk them (Design)

4. Then prepare what other accessories are needed to milk them (Framework)

5. Then prepare a 2 dummy cows (sort of toy cows) and show to client the way in which u will milk them (UI Mockups & POC)

6. If client is not satisfied then redo from step 2

7. You actually start milking them and find that there are few problem with accessories. (Change framework)

8. Redo step 4

9. At last milk them and send it to onsite. (Coding over)

10. Make sure that cow milks properly (Testing)

11. Onsite reports that it is not milking there.

12. You break your head and find that onsite is trying to milk from bulls

13. At last onsite milk them and send to client (Testing)

14. Client says the quality of milk is not good. (User Acceptance Test)

15. Offsite then slogs and improves the quality of milk

16. Now the client says that the quality is good but it's milking at slow rate (performance issue)

17. Again you slog and send it with good performance.

18. Client is happy???

By this time both the COWs aged and cant milk. (The software got old and get ready for next release repeat from step 1) !!!!!

by Hari
Leave a comment

MICROSOFT --- IN TAMIL ... !!!!

Save : veaichukoo

Save As : aiyye, apdiyea veaichukoo

Save All : allaathaium veaichikoo

Help : odhavu

Find : paru

Find Again : inoru dhaba paru

Move : appala po

Mail : postu

Mailer : posttuman

Zoom : persaa kaattu

Zoom Out : velilavanthu persaa kaattu

Open : theraa naina

Close : pothiko

New : pucchu

Old : palsu

Replace : itha thooki athle podu, athe thooki ithle podu

Run : odu naina

Execute : kollu

Print : poster podu

Print Preview : paathu poster podu

Cut : vettu - kuthu

Copy : E-adichan kaapi

Paste : ottu

Paste Special : nalla echcha thottu ottu

Delete : keechidu

Virus : mamiyar kodumai

View : look-vudu

Tools : spannaru

Toolbar : spanner setu

Spreadsheet : perisheetu

Database : dappaa

Exit : odra dei

Compress : amuki-podu

Mouse : eli

Click : potu sathu

Double Click : rendu dhabaa potu sathu

Scrollbar : inge angae alathadi

Pay Per View : dhudukku bayascoppu

Next : appaala

Previous : munaangati

Trash Bin : koovam aaru

Solitaire : mangaatha

Drag & Hold : nallaa isthu pudi

Do you want to delete selected item? : maiyalume thukirava?

Do you want to move selected item? : maiyalume kadasidava?

Do you want to save selected item? : maiyalume vachukkava?

Abort, Retry, Ignore : ishtam illati uttudu

Yes, No, Cancel : ippa innaa sollikeere nee

General protection fault : gaali

Access denied : kai veche keesiduven

Unrecoverable error : bada bejarpa

Operation illegal : bemani... savu grakki.. kasmalam..

by Hari
Leave a comment

Helpline Numbers

Helpline Numbers


Useful Toll Free, Help line Numbers of Indian Companies

Air-Lines In India

Indian Airlines - 1600 180 1407
Jet Airways - 1600 22 5522
SpiceJet - 1600 180 3333



Automobiles

Mahindra Scorpio - 1600 22 6006
Maruti - 1600 111 515
Tata Motors - 1600 22 5552
Windshield Experts - 1600 11 3636


Banks
ABN AMRO - 1600 11 2224
Canara Bank - 1600 44 6000
Citibank - 1600 44 2265
Corporatin Bank - 1600 443 555
Development Credit Bank - 1600 22 5769
HDFC Bank - 1600 227 227
ICICI Bank - 1600 333 499
ICICI Bank NRI - 1600 22 4848
IDBI Bank - 1600 11 6999
Indian Bank - 1600 425 1400
ING Vysya - 1600 44 9900
Kotak Mahindra Bank - 1600 22 6022
Lord Krishna Bank - 1600 11 2300
Punjab National Bank - 1600 122 222
State Bank of India - 1600 44 1955
Syndicate Bank - 1600 44 6655


Cell Phones
BenQ - 1600 22 08 08
Bird CellPhones - 1600 11 7700
Motorola MotoAssist - 1600 11 1211
Nokia - 3030 3838
Sony Ericsson - 3901 1111


Computers/IT
Adrenalin - 1600 444 445
AMD - 1600 425 6664
Apple Computers - 1600 444 683
Canon - 1600 333 366
Cisco Systems - 1600 221 777
Compaq - HP - 1600 444 999
Data One Broadband - 1600 424 1600
Dell - 1600 444 026
Epson - 1600 44 0011
eSys - 3970 0011
Genesis Tally Academy - 1600 444 888
HCL - 1600 180 8080
IBM - 1600 443 333
Lexmark - 1600 22 4477
Marshal's Point - 1600 33 4488
Microsoft - 1600 111 100
Microsoft Virus Update - 1901 333 334
Seagate - 1600 180 1104
Symantec - 1600 44 5533
TVS Electronics - 1600 444 566
WeP Peripherals - 1600 44 6446
Wipro - 1600 333 312
xerox - 1600 180 1225
Zenith - 1600 222 004

Couriers/Packers & Movers
ABT Courier - 1600 44 8585
AFL Wizz - 1600 22 9696
Agarwal Packers & Movers - 1600 11 4321
Associated Packers P Ltd - 1600 21 4560
DHL - 1600 111 345
FedEx - 1600 22 6161
Goel Packers & Movers - 1600 113456
UPS - 1600 22 7171


Education
Edu Plus - 1600 444 000
Hindustan College - 1600 33 4438
NCERT - 1600 11 1265
Vellore Institute of Technology - 1600 441 555

Healthcare
Best on Health - 1600 11 8899
Dr Batras - 1600 11 6767
GlaxoSmithKline - 1600 22 8797
Johnson & Johnson - 1600 22 8111
Kaya Skin Clinic - 1600 22 5292
LifeCell - 1600 44 5323
Manmar Technologies - 1600 33 4420
Pfizer - 1600 442 442
Roche Accu-Chek - 1600 11 45 46
Rudraksha - 1600 21 4708
Varilux Lenses - 1600 44 8383
VLCC - 1600 33 1262



Home Appliances
Aiwa/Sony - 1600 11 1188
Anchor Switches - 1600 22 7979
Blue Star - 1600 22 2200
Bose Audio - 1600 11 2673
Bru Coffee Vending Machines - 1600 44 7171
Daikin Air Conditioners - 1600 444 222
DishTV - 1600 12 3474
Faber Chimneys - 1600 21 4595
Godrej - 1600 22 5511
Grundfos Pumps - 1600 33 4555
LG - 1901 180 9999
Philips - 1600 22 4422
Samsung - 1600 113 444
Sanyo - 1600 11 0101
Voltas - 1600 33 4546
WorldSpace Satellite Radio - 160044 5432


Hotel Reservations
GRT Grand - 1600 44 5500
InterContinental Hotels Group - 1600 111 000
Marriott - 1600 22 0044
Sarovar Park Plaza - 1600 111 222
Taj Holidays - 1600 111 825


Insurance
AMP Sanmar - 1600 44 2200
Aviva - 1600 33 2244
Bajaj Allianz - 1600 22 5858
Chola MS General Insurance - 160044 5544
HDFC Standard Life - 1600 227 227
LIC - 1600 33 4433
Max New York Life - 1600 33 5577
Royal Sundaram - 1600 33 8899
SBI Life Insurance - 1600 22 9090



Mattresses
Kurl-on - 1600 44 0404
Sleepwell - 1600 11 2266


Investments/Finance
CAMS - 1600 44 2267
Chola Mutual Fund - 1600 22 2300
Easy IPO's - 3030 5757
Fidelity Investments - 1600 180 8000
Franklin Templeton Fund - 1600 425 4255
J M Morgan Stanley - 1600 22 0004
Kotak Mutual Fund - 1600 222 626
LIC Housing Finance - 1600 44 0005
SBI Mutual Fund - 1600 22 3040
Sharekhan - 1600 22 7500
Tata Mutual Fund - 1600 22 0101



Paints
Asian Paints Home Solutions - 1600 22 5678
Berger Paints Home Decor - 1600 33 8800


Teleshopping
Asian Sky Shop - 1600 22 1600
Jaipan Teleshoppe - 1600 11 5225
Tele Brands - 1600 11 8000
VMI Teleshopping - 1600 447 777
WWS Teleshopping - 1600 220 777


Travel
Club Mahindra Holidays - 1600 33 4539
Cox & Kings - 1600 22 1235
God TV Tours - 1600 442 777
Kerala Tourism - 1600 444 747
Kumarakom Lake Resort - 1600 44 5030
Raj Travels & Tours - 1600 22 9900
Sita Tours - 1600 111 911
SOTC Tours - 1600 22 3344


UPS
APC - 1600 44 4272
Numeric - 1600 44 3266


Others
Consumer Helpline - 1600 11 4000
L'Or e al, GARNIeR - 1600 223 000
KONE Elevator - 1600 444 666
Indane - 1600 44 51 15
Aavin - 1600 44 3300
Pedigree - 1600 11 2121
Kodak India - 1600 22 8877
Domino's Pizza - 1600 111 123
World Vision India - 1600 444 550
Telecom Monitoring Cell - 1600 110 420



If you know more toll free help line numbers, please mail me at vharicharan@gmail.com

by Hari
Leave a comment

The Third Secret --- Steve Berry

The Third Secret --- Steve Berry

This is a very interesting with no complexities in the story. Clement XV is the pope who is currently ruling the Vatican. He is the Vicar of the Christ and is known to be a man of great knowledge and affection. His papal secretary was Father Michener, and the Camerlegno Ngovi, both of whom were close to Clement XV. Clement XV receives a Fascimile from a Father Tibor regarding the translation of the Secrets of the Fatima, and that starts off the entire situation.

The pope aspiring Valendria, tries to scheme a lot of things to hinder the Pope's interest in the prophecies at Fatima, but is not able to , since he knows the secret and does not want anyone else to know it.

This is a tale of betrayal, love and Divinity. And as the author puts it wonderfully in the prologue, ultimately, it is a question of Faith.


Wonderful Book, Well researched ( as with all of Steve Berry's books ), good, fast pacing and quite informative on some of the internal workings of the Vatican.

My comment ??? Pretty Good ...

Download the Book Here

by Hari
Leave a comment

Shantaram --- Gregory David Roberts

Shantaram --- Gregory David Roberts

Fantastic.

This is my one word comment on this wondeful book. I don think any other writer could have written about India in such a wonderfully comic yet tragic manner. The descriptions of People, places, modus operandi make you feel that things were happening around in your own street.


Here's the Story, Shantaram (he was named Shantaram later) escapes from an Australian Jail in broad daylight and finally ends up at Bombay. He joins two other foreigners to book a room with this tourist guide cum friend Prabhakar, whom he meets the moment he gets down from the bus. this is the beginning of a long and fruitful friendship. Then there are other forigners who come into the fray. There's the local mafia, the thugs, dons, goondas, tales of sorrow and woe. But the book is not without its comical moments. You have a feel that things are moving quite naturally with an almost natural rhythm. there's no artificiality in it.

It makes you feel that this is not the story of some gora, but the story of a Human being who is fighting for his survival. Shantaram's description of Bombay (as in was in the early 1980's), His sufferings at the Arthur Road Prison, The sufferings of Ulla and Modena, The tragic fate of Prabhakar,How Shantaram works as a doctor for the people of the slum and how he helps them to survive Cholera, all have their own weightage in the story.

Karla's Philosophical lines have more than one meaning as one understands later. They are really very very deep, so are Khader's lines on religion and Science. Even Shantaram's lines shock you sometimes, leaving you to pause the story to understand the significance of those lines

If one does not cry while reading this story, he can claim himself to be stone hearted.


"It is an epic, mesmerizing tale of crowded slums and five-star hotels, romantic love and prison torture, mafia gang wars and Bollywood films, and spiritual gurus and brutal battlefields. It weaves a seamless web of unforgettable characters, amazing adventures, and superb evocations of Indian life. This remarkable book can be read as a vast, extended thriller, as well as a superbly written meditation on the nature of good and evil. It is a compelling tale of a hunted man who had lost everything—his home, his family, and his soul—and came to find his humanity while living at the wildest edge of experience.Nothing like this has been written before."


I agree ... Nothing like this has been written before and i doubt whether it would be, in the future.


I must apologise for the long post but trust me people, this book might run over 900 pages, but every page of this book is worth it. The book infact deserves a post this long.

My Comment ??? Fantastic.
If that's not enough








SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICESPIALIDOCIOUS.


Download the Book Here

Wednesday, July 4, 2007 by Hari
Leave a comment

Are You there God ? Its me Margaret --- Blume Judy

Are You there God ? Its me Margaret --- Blume Judy


This is the story of a 12 year old girl, who is about to enter her sixth grade. the girl confesses all her sins, and acts of good faith to God, which sometimes are quite hilarious. There is a strong notion on religion and belief in the story which i believe is quite good.


My comment ??? It is a very short story .. about 82 pages long and will make a good funny reading.


Download the Book Here.

by Hari
Leave a comment

RHYMES , RHYMES, RHYMES

I wrote your name on sand it got washed.
I wrote your name in air, it was blown away. Then
I wrote your name on my heart & I got Heart Attack.

******
God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

******
Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

******
The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
Why doesn't it rain on you?

******
Roses are red, Violets are blue
Monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don't feel so angry you will find me there too
Not in cage but laughing at you.

by Hari
Leave a comment