Archive for 2010

What to do if you have just 72 hours in Singapore ....

Well, imagine this, You decide to go for a holiday and then realise that you do not have 'thaaaaat' much time to look around and shop because the places are all far far away and you don't know the language etc etc, well, here is just what you could do...

Before that, Here are some useful tips.

1.) Get a Map !!! A lot of 'Indian' Tourists make this mistake. They think they could ask people around. Don't ever commit this mistake. Buy a Map. Atleast these days Internet is cheap. Use google maps. Get the layout of the city/place you are gonna be visiting.

2.) At the airport/railway station/bus-stand , when you get down, look around for huge billboards and signs. They are there for you. They'll clearly indicate the mood around the place and also set the tone for your journey. So If you see a shop is offering 60% off on clothes, the visit might just be worth it.

3.) Always have something to eat, handy. Preferably in your backpack or handbag. God Knows when you might land up on a stretch of endless walking and realise you are damn hungry and find that none of the shops around offer you the kind of food that you'd like to have !!! (It happened to me.. :( )

Also another point I'd like to add here, try to find out atleast one item in the local cuisine that you like or would like to try out. In case you do not have any option or your biscuits run out, you can atleast walk into a hotel and ask for the food that you've already tasted. Saves a lot of headache trying to figure out what the dishes might contain by deciphering the names.

4.) Drink puh-lenty of water. It really really helps.

5.) Try to use the local mode of transport. Obviously if a lot of people are using it, it means its quite economical. So quit all your tantrums and better get travelling in that tuk-tuk.

Anyway, coming to the crux of this post, here is what you can do if you have only 72 hours in Singapore...

See the Merlion and the Singapore Flyer first. Make this the first thing in the day, will save a lot of headache and pain in the arse. The Merlion is the mythical lion which is still the identity of Singapore. So if you went to Singapore and did not take a photo by the Merlion, I'll assume you are one of those people who went to Dubaaaai and did not buy Gold.

Once the Merlion is over, (if) you can walk about a kilometre and a half from the bridge, you'll land up at Singapore Flyer. This is Singapore's answer to the Millenium wheel in London. It's definitely not worth the 30 Odd singapore Dollars that you'll be paying. But, the plusses of this whole half an hour sojourn is that they hand you with a small walkie-talkie, which contains various programs which have been pre-loaded. One of them is the Geomancy Aspect of Singapore.

I must tell you, it's AWESOME !!!!

Totally super the way they use Feng-Shui (Pronounced Fooong Shway)to drive in good energy !!!

Once that is done, the next item to see would be the Sun-Tec Towers and the Fountain of Wealth...

Ah.. Have your attention now .. isn't it.. ? :)

The Sun Tec towers themselves have been built using Feng shui Principles and Four of the 5 Sun Tec Towers are shaped like the fingers of our hand. The fifth finger is the Sun-Tec Tower 5 and is shaped like a thumb. These five buildings form the ring at the centre of which is the Fountain of Wealth !!!

Symbolically something similar to Hindu style of portraying gods that shower wealth.

Anyway, for the record this is the world's largest man-made fountain.

Once this is done, it'll be time for some lunch. Have some and then buckle your belts.

It's time for some Shopping.. !!! :) :D

Use your maps and your brain and get to the nearest MRT station. From there, board the Metro to get to ChinaTown.

Once you get down at ChinaTown, do nothing.. The crowd will pull you towards it. And it will be minutes before you land up here....

Once in, its a shopper's paradise. If you are going here with a Lady, BEWARE !!! You are just gonna become penniless !!! 80% of the items are ladies accessories and T-Shirts and some awkward gadgets for men.

What you are seeing is only one side of the market. There exists another lane full of goodies from china on the other side of the road. You'll have to do a walk on the Foot over Bridge to get to the other side.

Once you get to the other side, the whole road is littered with offers. Predominantly it'll be a '3 for $10' deal. You might also chance upon a '4 for $10' deal as well. Better grab the offer when its there. As you walk down that road, you'll come to a Mariamman Temple and if you take the right and walk straight, comes the last stop of the day, the 'Ancient Relic of Buddha Temple'.

If you ask me (and I am an amateur photographer shooting with a Prosumeric Camera) I can spend an entire day shooting photos at this place. It's totally filled with Icons and other stuff that you can take photos with. Its actually a 4 storied building. Cameras are allowed inside except on the 4th floor where the Relic of Buddha is actually present... The relic is the tooth of Buddha. And trust me when you enter that chamber with the chant of

'Budham Sharanam Gachaami.
Dhammam Sharanam Gachaami.
Sangam Sharanam Gachaami.'

echoing silently inside, its a totally different feeling. Immediately you feel at peace and at home. Their terrace is an equally good place. But I loved their Door keepers and the Budha Statue on the Ground Floor. WoW !!! Now that is what I call an awesome imagery.

O.K. - That was Day One. Now Day Two.

Take the MRT to Little India. Walk towards SimLim. SimLim is like Chennai's Ritchie Street. Except that, you get good branded stuff for really dirt cheap prices. You also get clones, but the shopkeepers are honest enough to tell you that it is a clone and comes with only 'this-much' guarantee. The variety is amazing. Every conceivable product in the market is available at this place. If you came to Singapore to throw away money on Gadgets, You gotta throw it away at SimLim. And it will take you more than 3 hours to actually look at all the shops.

Point of advise :- Don't bargain too much. The prices are almost the same in any shop in that complex. If anybody is throwing something at dirt-cheap price then there is definitely a catch. Maybe he is not giving that free laptop bag or that cordless keyboard. Better check.

Finish your lunch in any of the eat-outs near the Little India MRT. And after that, its going to be a long long walk for you. The whole place near the Little India MRT is littered with offers. And guess what ? Its all Indian. So you can get plenty of stuff here. Of course, One Thuglak (Magazine) costs me 9 Rupees in India. It was 2.5 SGD there. So .. :) Choose well.

By the time this is over, you are ready for the last lap. For this evening, You can choose between Orchard Road or Clarke Quay. I suggest Orchard Road. It's an amazing place. Filled with shopping malls.

There are shopping malls on either side of the road, and in the evening, it gets all social. I was there during the start of December and looks like Christmas Celebrations start quite early there. The whole place was bubbling with energy at 7 in the evening. The streets were all lighted up. Offers in every mall. WoW.. Basically A Lot of money to spend :) :D

If you are not soooo tired by the shopping and walking past malls, I suggest you try the night safari. There are many operators who run this service. Get one of their brochures and book them. It's usually from 6:30 in the evening till 10:00 PM in the night. Just perfect for you to have your dinner and fall on your bed.

O.K. Now comes the Third Day. This is your last day in Singapore right ? So what else but shopping !!!

March right away to Mustafa. Now I am not going to hype this part. But yes, it is open 24 hours a day. And if you want to know how big this shop (err.. mall) really is... Seen the likes of Inorbit mall in Hyderabad ?? or say maybe Saravana Stores Brahmaandamaai ??? Its just about twice the size of that. And it contains everything...

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G !!!

Umbrellas, Nail Polish, Hard disks, mp3 players, Perfumes, anything and everything under the sun, at a cost much much lesser than the outside market.

One thing I noticed they were not good at was 'Branded Clothes'. Their clothes line is totally pathetic. And is outdated. Period. Also, I can some varieties of T-Shirts at about half the price at which I am buying from Mustafa. So you can do some calculations. BTW, remember the old lady next door, suffering from rheumatic pain, get some Tiger Balms for her, 4 for 10SGD. :) :D

By the time you finish this Mustafa, (assuming you are not stopping at every section in every floor), it will around 2:30. (Assuming you start at 8 in the morning. Actually even this is not enough. :P).

Post this, have your lunch in the hotels nearby and head to Bugis street. The largest Street shopping area in Singapore. Ever heard of a term called 'throw-away' prices ? Well, This street is an example. I got handbags (good quality ones, mind you) for 9 SGD (well, don't strain yourself, its about 280 INR. The same would have easily cost me 700-800 Bucks in any shop back home). Offers are all on everywhere. This is one place, I'd term as the 'Ranganathan Street of Singapore'

With that your trip too comes to a close. Have a great dinner and board the flight back home.

Some of you might be wondering why I never mentioned the Jurong Bird Park (or) The Singapore Zoo (or) Sentosa Island etc... Basically these things take atleast one full day. And some may or maynot be interested. If you are really keen, do check out the above mentioned places. They are world class. Apart from this, there are the museums and Kopitiams (They call Coffee as Kopi - Basically Coffee Houses where everything under the sun is served.) I can sit an entire day in a Kopitiam doing nothing and then come back again the next day to sit. :) Its so wonderful to see the crowd and the people thronging the Kopitiams...

Enjoy yourself in Singapore la !!!! :) :D

P.S:- Am planning to post my best Singapore Pics in a separate post... Till then...
Bye la .. !! :) :D

Saturday, December 25, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , | 6 comments

Getting Tagged - 10::1

Well, I was tagged by one of my blogger friends... Hence here is the result...

Ten how’s:
1. How did you get one of your scars? I fell down while trying to do a balancing act. Nasty scar. Required 5 stitches. Did leave a big psychological scar.
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? Pretty silently. Nobody's bothered. So am I.. :)
3. How are you feeling at this moment? Relaxed.
4. How did your night go last night? Pretty much disturbed, with bouts of coughing.
5. How did you do in high school? Was one of the best.
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? One of my relatives got it for me. From Phaaren.
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? Come February and it will be a year.
8. How much money did you spend last month? Hmmm.. actually quite less.. :P
9. How old do you want to be when you get married? I do not wanna get married. Period.
10. How old will you be at your next birthday? Next_Age=Current_Age + 1

Nine what’s:
1. Your mother's name? She might be reading this and prefer to remain anonymous. :)
2. What did you do last weekend? Li'l bit of shopping, sleeping and surfing. (that's 3 S's)
3. What is the most important part of your life? My quest for esoteric knowledge and my blog.
4. What would you rather be doing? Blogging is a passion.
5. What did you last cry over? That was actually a long time ago. Don't even want to discuss it.. :)
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Blogging and Reading
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Jab Baans hi nahin rahega toh baansuri kya bajegi...
8. What are you worried about? Right now.. ?? Nothing.
9. What did you have for breakfast? 2G of Lukewarm water. (Sorry for the pun)

Eight Have you-s:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Yeah... Still do.. :P
Heck... As long as they are not aware of it.. Fine with me.. :P

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? Yes
3. Have you ever been out of the country? Yes
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? To the best of my memory, No actually.
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Puh-lenty.
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach ? Ahem.. Prefer not to answer that question :P :)
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? No Dates. No confusions.
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Yes.

Seven who’s:
1. Who was the last person you saw? The maid who washes our clothes.
2. Who was the last person you texted? V
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? My roomie B.
4. Who was the last person to call you? My Mom.. Couple of minutes back. :P
5. Who did you last hug? Can't remember
6. Who is the last person who texted you? Airtel's Promotions department.
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Intha questiona kandippa Answer pannanuma ? :P :D

Six where’s:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live? In a city that I hate to be identified with, Chennai.
2. Where did you last go? To a medical clinic
3. Where did you last hang out? Brand Factory
4. Where do you go to school? Coonoor and Chennai.
5. Where is your favorite place to be? H.Y.D.E.R.A.B.A.D Period.
6. Where did you sleep last night? In my bed. And Before you start conjecturing - alone.

Five do’s:
1. Do you think anyone likes you? Nah !!! They are too busy doing other things. :P
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Being born as Hari is perhaps the next thing to being God... So no !!!
3. Do you know the muffin man? Err... No.
4. Does the future scare you? I'd be lying if I said No. But sometimes it does make feel look forward to it as well.
5. Do your parents know about your blog? Yes.. But they don't read it that much.. so NP. :)
Four why’s:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? Athu oru Periya Katha.. innoru Naalu solraene...
2. Why did you get into Blogging? To be honest, to have a site with your name on it. :)
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? It was different. And set a separate class of its own.
4. Why are you doing this survey? Because I felt like doing it :)

Three if’s:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be? Past Life Regression ? :P
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? Yes.
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? A Laptop with a superfast wifi - (free) internet connection and a perpetual battery backup for the laptop.. :P

Two would-you-ever’s:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? Sounds Interesting... But no, thanks. !!! :)
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Yes.

One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now? Am living the Dream .. !!!!

Tagging all those who are bound to read it.. :)
Merry christmas

by Hari
Categories: , , | 3 comments

WE are afraid of Pamela's Boobs !!!

This is in response to a post by Shobhaa De (Dated 21st November) titled, Who’s afraid of Pamela’s Boobs ?

First of all my apologies for a late reaction to this post. Apparently my Google Reader Feeds weren’t working that effectively.

O.K. Let me begin by answering to your question itself.

We Are. Note the tense and collective noun. WE ARE !!!

Now comes the next question that is obviously pronounced with a lot of mirth …

‘Why ?’

Well the reasons are so very clear, aren’t they Shobhaa Ma’m.
(Did I get the extra ‘a’ right ?)

“Perhaps, it is the arrival of Bazooka Pam that prompted the Indian government to suddenly wake up to the ‘X- Rated’ content of some shows and clamp a few meaningless restrictions on them. By pushing back the slots of shows that beam ‘objectional and vulgar’ content to 11pm, some prudish babus must be patting themselves on the back for saving the country from moral degradation. Give us a break, fellas.”

Well, this para was exactly what prompted me to write this post. It was not because of the ‘Bared Breasts’ and Pamela Anderson that this regulation was brought about but because there was a growing irritation on part of the Parents in the country on the kind of content that was being aired. We do not want to see Ashmit and Veena Mallik coochi-cooing on National Television at Prime Time. If you are seriously so interested (and perverted) in watching it, watch it at 11. What’s your problem ?

Is your problem that they are shifting the timing from 9 to 11 or is your anger on the fact that I&B are trying to moral-police you ? Well I am surprised, that you being a Marathi, are not talking about Shiv Sena or MNS when talking about Moral Policing ?? And what I am more surprised is, how come the Shiv Sena and MNS tolerate your books ? Do they even deserve to be on shelves ? GOK.

And about these programs that you mention. Yes !!! We want them all to be banned. But look what happened. God knows how much money was involved in this, but somehow the concerned people have got a stay in court against the directive. Obviously ‘Paisa Bolta Hai’. Such a heavy money generating machinery, Why kill the goose that lays golden eggs ? They’ve got the program back in the same slot. We can see Veena and Sara flirting with Ashmit and at the same time there is no dearth of ‘Maa-Ki-‘ or ‘Behen-C****’ on the show, now that Dolly Bindra is back.

“In which middle class Indian family are the bachchas packed off to bed at 7pm after supper at 6pm? Television time largely remains unmonitored and unrestricted. It is considered bonding time. Families that watch heaving bosoms and hectic pelvic thrusts together, stay together. Big deal. What kids watch (or aren’t supposed to) ought to be the parents’ and not the government’s responsibility. Going by this new ‘Adults Only’ ruling, what about commercial Hindi films that feature the most provocative ‘item songs’ and are peppered with abuses with actors screaming ‘Bastard’ routinely? Kids watch those and worse… so why the double standards? One set of rules for television programming, another for cinema?”

As much as Pamela’s boobs are her best friends, Sweetheart, Children of the middle class do go to bed, if not at 7 PM, atleast at 9PM. And I am not sure what kind of kids live in Mumbai or what kind of life is lived there, but in other parts of India, this is the norm. So if you are not aware of such lives or of people who live like this, please do not make generalizations. And yes, TV Time ‘WAS’ considered as bonding time. Now it is ‘Entertainment time’.

Parents switch on Soaps to see the Mother-In-Law and her Daughter-In-Law pregnant at the same time, the only scandalous thing being, the Mother-In-Law’s pregnancy is not because of her husband but because of her Daughter-In-Law’s father. Sick hunh ??? Welcome to the ‘Desi Version of Bold and the Beautiful’ !!! And what’s with this naara Adults Only ruling ? Why not ?

Yes, those pelvic thrusts are not something that we wish to see on screen. As much as we hate seeing ‘Munni’ getting badnaam, we also hate to see Sheila ki Jawaani (Shit, that sounded like some B-Grade Porn movie). So you get the picture De Ma’m ? We demand censorship on TV as well, and as much as you might hate it, It will come into place.

Ma’m, Our society is not schizophrenic and confused, but maybe you are. There is a big difference between seeing details of the Ruchika Molestation case on TV and Sheila Ki Jawaani (with Katrina showing off her curves and the Shakira Shake with elan). One is News. The other is plain ‘soft-porn’. So please get the differentiation right. We are not here to conduct a ‘trial-by-media’ for Ruchika and in the end, end up performing a character assasination. Let the Judiciary and social media take care of that.
“The ultimate power remains in the hands of viewers. The person who holds the remote control, is the sole decision maker as to what is acceptable viewing and what isn’t”

I beg to differ here. As much as I am advocate for ‘Free-World’ and ‘Freedom of Expression’ I suggest you hand over your passport and move to a country where there is no such restriction. Good Luck if you find one. You are in a democratic state that perhaps provides the most leniency than any other state in the world. And about that part where you want to take the call on whether you wish to ogle or not, or whether you wish to listen to Ms. Sawant, I suggest you watch if off Youtube. At leisure. You can watch it whenever you want and nobody’s moral-policing you, on the Internet.

And no, ‘Live telecast of Parliamentary Proceedings’ does not constitute actual Pornography, but your books – definitely fall under Soft Porn.

Saturday, December 18, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , | 1 comment

Break Ke Baad - Pretty Good !!!

I watched ‘Break-Ke-Baad’ almost entirely on my new N5 PMP and I am making my opinion Loud and Clear – This movie is AWESOME !!!

I don’t care how or why the media is trashing this movie, but this is one of the most refreshingly fresh movies that I have seen in this year. And this movie is definitely far more sensible in that ‘shirt-ripping-itself-off’ movie from ‘oh-i-love-to-show-off-my-bare-body’ hero earlier this year. (semma Comedy saar neenga)

First of all, hats off to Deepika to have finally chosen a good character role for herself. This role had potential and she proved it. As Aaliya Khan, the spoilt daughter of a cine star (played by Sharmila Tagore), she snatches the limelight from Imran Khan. I loved her sense of style, the way she wore her clothes. The way she mouths her dialogues. She has literally lived her role in that movie.

The story line is too good. This happens with almost every other couple in these days and its nice to see Danish take this on in a totally sensible manner. The screenplay could have been a little more taut. And a little more funnier dialogues here and there would have helped the movie a lot. Imran Khan has matured, but not enough. He needs to choose more manly roles. He cannot bank on his JTYJN role for all his life.

Not impressed with the background score and music. Maybe that could have clinched the movie the ‘Blockbuster’ title.

For me, this movie is one of this year’s best romantic movies.
Don’t miss it. !!!

P.S:- DP is super cool in this movie.

by Hari
Categories: , , , | 2 comments

The IT Vote Bank !!!

Well Well Well, the Dynasty Family's Power Hungry Patriarch is really really worried..

The reason being ...

Every time the elections are around the corner, Loyola College conducts a [useless]'survey'.[Basically the whole survey is an eyewash (according to me)]. And somehow what I find ridiculously funny is that how come Loyola College does not perform a survey on the 'effectiveness of governance' or 'how happy are the people with the govt.' etc.. ?? Obviously the Ruling Party is not giving them enough money for all this I suppose.

One Daadi-Mama will come during Election time and 'announce' the results of the survey with such intensity and seriousness that one would think that he is the Governor and is calling upon the Majority Party to form the government. And these surveys are usually soooooo hyped. And of course, lopsided.

Anyway coming back to the point,
This year (because the TN elections are due next year) the survey was conducted and the rumor has it that the Ruling Party has been totally displeased with the results.

The results are totally against the Ruling Party and has clearly predicted that this might be the last term that the Patriarch might be holding. [alive].

The survey is rumored to have disclosed the fact that the Municipalities and the Urban Areas of Tamil Nadu are totally displeased with the Ruling Party's functioning and the scams that they have caused and are hell bent on showing them the door.

As for the villages, they are still floating on the 'color' dreams that they showed them in the last election. Apparently they are still strong on the rural front. Of course they will be. Rationalists aren't they ??

As a result of which the Patriarch has had to don his thinking cap [forget the fact that his shiny head reflects off any common sense or rationalism or good will directed at him] and has devised some absolutely marvelous, fantabulous and mind-fuck schemes to lure the voters. And these are as follows ...

1.) Government will be constructing 'Bachelor-Accommodations' on the Tambaram-Madurantakam stretch. This is to ensure that the hard(ly) working Software Engineers can be closer to office and work even hard(ly). These accommodations will be constructed block-by-block. Booking will be done on a random basis by picking out of a lot.

For your names to be included in the pot, you will have to have the following qualifications ....

1.) You should be able to recite atleast half of Kuraloviyam or Ponnar-Sankar.
2.) You should be able to eloquently speak the dialogues of Manohara and Parasakthi, just like the way Sivaji Ganesan did. Especially the 'ஓடினேன் ஓடினேன் ...வாழ்கையின் ஓரத்திற்கே ஓடினேன் !!!' part. It has to be convincing.
3.) You should be a member in the Youth Wing of the party which is headed by the 60 year old Patriach's son.
4.) You should be a henchman or a goon or a hire-for-kill hitman and have 'pottufied' atleast 3 people for the party.
5.) You should have contributed atleast 3 lakhs for 'upliftment' of the party.
6.) You should be a staunch 'rationalist' who wears a yellow towel and poops on Paapan's in the state.

If you do not have any of the criterias ... never mind, you can afford to wait for another 10 years.

The apartment blocks will be constructed using Hollow Blocks. They are easy to pile on and cement and will be even easier for the Corporation Bulldozers to bring them down in case Subramanian Swamy raises this is SC and SC objects to this. You see we think long term.

Each block will have its own TASMAC shop and outsiders will not be given first preference.

2.) Half the current population in Chennai is made up of Software Engineers. Almost 75% of these Software Engineers are working in 'remote-locations' [read villages about 60 kms away from 'The City'] and hence spend a lot of time travelling. He has calculated the average time in bus/train to be approximately 2.5 hours everyday. The best way to cover this vote bank is ...

'Free iPod !!!'

O.K. Don't start dreaming. He is quoting logistics and is saying that it will not be possible to provide people with 80GB iPod Classics and all. So it will be a 1GB iPood.

Yes. You read that right. It will be an iPood. A Fake China Made imitation that costs only about Rs.100. So What ??? You are getting your share of entertainment for free.. right ???

Also comes bundled with the iPood is the audio version of Kuraloviyam, Ponnar Sankar and of course a collection of best dialogues from Parasakthi. These are perhaps his only worthy contributions in his literary career spanning 7 decades. (A pity, isn't it). If you start protesting, we will ensure that we also bundle it in his voice. If that scares you, you'd better don't protest.

And of course it will look like this...

3.) Also because these Software Engineers travel a lot, it is necessary for them to cut the costs of travel. Hence the Government will offer Software Engineers with
F R E E B U S & T R A I N PA S S E S

The passes can be used anywhere in Chennai, right from Avadi to Tirumalpur !!!
You can get on any bus (except AC) anywhere and get off anywhere.
No Questions asked !!!

If anybody questions, just show them the pass. The Pass will be issued to the Software Engineers at their own company premises on the submission of a xerox copy of their ID Cards and a 200 word article in Tamizh on 'Why they think the current Ruling Party will win the elections'.

This offer is valid only for Software Engineers who have taken Tamizh as their Second Language in Plus Two.

Needless to stay, North Indians who don't have a Tamil Nadu Voter ID Card are not eligible for this offer.

4.) All land registered by Software Engineers south of Tambaram within one month from the date of posting of this blog-post will be waived off the registration fee. Basically since you will be buying the land from us,
[technically speaking, those contractors and agencies are none other than our binaamis and all the land south of Tambaram is owned by henchmen and goondas who are 'sons-of-the-party' and 'udanpirappukal'],
it is only fitting that we give you some discount, and also you are giving us a wonderful opportunity to convert all our black money into white money at no-extra cost. This is the least we can do to be grateful.

5.) All the bus and train passes issued will contain an extra page with a row for every day of the month. This is basically to ensure that all software engineers should have a life. Are you wondering how adding an extra page will give these SE's life ??

Basically this additional page gives the Software Engineers another chance to become the true 'kudimagans' of Tamil Nadu. What this extra page does is, offer you
'One Quarter' at TASMAC for FREE !!!
... Yes.. You read that right. I repeat ....
'One Quarter at TASMAC for FREE '
This will ensure that all Software Engineers have a life. The extra page with a row is to ensure that not more than one quarter per person is given. Also Police would be given strict orders, not the catch hold of Software Engineers who are caught driving when drunk. They will be exempted when they show their TASMAC page on the pass and their ID as proof.

Apart from these the Patriarch has also thought of some other superb schemes, which will be published shortly.

Sunday, December 12, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , | 1 comment

What Women Want .. Duh !!!!

This is in response to the post here.

Dear Sheeba,

This is in response to the above linked post. Though I perfectly understand your agony (and your desperation) here is what (as a guy) I think of your Bullet Points.

Love ??

God !!! Women, you never understand us men don't you... We don't want love. Only lust. We lech, We ogle, We look at women on the sly. That's what you think, isn't it ?

Girlie, Go get a life.
There is a lot more to life than trying to pee on men.

You have to express your love in some way and you have to express as often as you can.
And the best part of the above statement is.. The more you 'express-your-love' the higher will be your Archies Bill or 'XXX spa' Receipt. So quit, expecting to be pampered. You are an adult and expect to be treated like one.

And yes, My 77th Girlfriend left me because I loved her too much. Now, that's too much to ask for.. isn't it ??

Space ??

We don't really care about 'your' space, isn't it ?? Oh Yeah. You are so so right. My 34th Girlfriend left me because I gave her 'too-much-space'. She was a feng-shui (pronounce it as foong-shway) expert and she said 'all-space-and-no-boy-friend' makes her chi (pronounce qi) go crazy. (Stupid girl. Must have been her PMS or something acting up ).

And about spending some time in silence, we as men love that silence when women come out with us on shopping trips. WoW !! Just imagine having a woman at your side and spending countless 'hours' of shopping with her being all quiet. Must be quite some shopping eh ??

Respect ??

What is that ?? No I seriously want to know what you mean by

Women want their emotions and their personal expectations be given proper respect. Respect their demands, needs, and expectations; some are obvious, some are not.
All those men out there, leading a simple-happy life are treating their girl like trash. In fact my 27th Girlfriend left me because I treated her like some maid. But the point to be noted here was that my 64th girlfriend, when she broke up with me, said, that my wife would be very lucky to get a guy who respects her so much.

I really don't know what to say here..

Commitment ???

That's hara-kiri for men and most men piss in their pants when they hear this word.

Women are very serious about this if men are not !!! Dud(ettes) get over yourselves. You are not the only people 'pawning' your entire lives in a relationship. Men do too. And in fact its far more difficult for men to commit. There are a number of other factors. We shall discuss them at this blog later. It is because of this 'oh-I-"invested"-so-much-time-on-you' and other such idiotic principles that women tend to get emotionally disturbed when the guy deflects the commitment-pinball.

It is also one of the top reasons because of which most women get dumped
No No No !! And a vehement No Once again !!!
My 7th girlfriend dumped me because I wanted a commitment and she did not. Last I heard, she married an Oracle DBA [for those of you who did not get the joke... Err.. Never mind.. forget it]

Time ??

Women want men to spend quality and quantity time with them.
No we prefer spending time watching Bay-Watch and drinking cans and cans of beer. Whatever is the statement above supposed to mean. What exactly do you mean when you say quality and quantity ? Spending seven hours with my 87th girlfriend left me such a pain in my er... calves that my friend suggested that I get my girlfriend booked under of 'Prevention-Of-Cruelty-To-Animals' act.

Girlies Think again. If I find my laptop more interesting and important than you, then there is something in that laptop which you lack. As simple as that. So find that elusive XXX formula (in fact XXX itself might be the formula.. Er.. Oops..I forgot.. this is a family blog) and 'Win-your-man-back'.

Entertainment ??

You want Entertainment ?? from Men ?? Are you sick/insane/crazy/**** [fill up your choicest abuse here] What do you think Men are ?? 'Packaged-Soap-Operas' that wear Peter-England Shirts ?? Seriously WTF ??

Women love holding their man’s hand in a beach
That's not love sweetheart. That's protectionism.

You want the babes around to see the 'He's Taken' sign clearly.
We call this as 'Territorial-Marking' in the animal kingdom.

Candle light dinners are great. Women love shopping, eating chocolates and going to movies.
I agree. My 43rd girlfriend loved Candle light dinners. When I finally filed for bankruptcy, she dumped me and joined as a waitress in one of the restaurants we used to eat our Candle Light dinners. Last heard, she spilled a lot of candle-wax on a beautiful 26 year old bride. [Jealousy - I say]

And yes, Men love shopping too. We too love eating chocolates and going out to movies.
And Of course, our tastes are different.

Consideration: ??

Oh No !!! We don't consider you as a human being itself. You don't even exist for us. We don't bother ourselves with lesser beings..

All they need is a little consideration.
A Little sweetheart ??? Are you really serious ???
You give them some, and they come after you like a pack of wolves. And when you have none left, you are torn to shreds. My 12th, 17th and 26th girlfriends left me because I showed too much consideration. One tried to book me under 'Stalking' !!!

Sex ...

Ahem !!! Though I wish to blog pages on this stuff and distribute a lot of 'gyaan' to the female community, I am not doing it on a number of grounds. Anyway, I am just posting the gist of what I wanted to tell here, crisply.

Women, Agreed that scientific research says most men think about it almost all the time. But don't think we are thinking about it when we are watching Cricket or F1. Nor are we thinking about it, when we attend company meetings. No !!! We are not thinking about it when we have lunch with our colleagues and nor are we thinking about it when we return home tired in that bus. We do not think it is the be-all and end-all of life. I would 'request' you to stop thinking that we think it is the be-all and end-all of life.

In fact my 6th girlfriend... Er.. Never mind.. Some other time...

Last, but not the least..
There is life beyond Bucket Lists.. Live it !! And stop reading such non-sensical crap !!!

P.S:- To all those ladies who visit this blog and this post. Truly NOM. But stop typecasting men. The world has grown beyond

short a=2000;
b = ( int ) a

Er.. That was a PJ... If you are non-technical, forget it.

P.P.S:- Though I've spoken in defence of men here, a lot of points are still applicable to men. So before you forward this and make it a mail-chain, think about it.

P.P.P.S:- FB's [Feministic B - Er.. You know what the B stands for]. Just because I mentioned so many girlfriends does not mean I don't have a life or something. I have a life, its larger than yours, and Am living the dream. And about the language, the day the word MCP is abolished from existence I would refrain from using this word. So long B****** !!!

P.P.P.P.S:- And all those imaginary girlfriends.. Love you all.. Muaahh !!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , | 4 comments

10G Raja ...

Given below are 10 words. These words have different meanings in different contexts,
Atleast for the Former Telecommunications Minister - Mr. Aandimuthu Raaja

You may or may not have known them ...

10.) Nilgiri - Constituency during Elections. Hill Station during Summer. Place to be forgotten for the rest of the time.

9.) Cabinet - Bunch of like minded buggers who don't stand up for you when you are in deep shit.

8.) Prime Minister - Dummy Piece.

7.) DMK - High Command. Orders from here should never be discarded even if they meant a lifetime of shame and jail.

6.) Maran - Anathema. The bugger set high standards (in corruption) forcing me to live up to the Party's expectations. Doesn't the party know I am a fresher ??

5.) Kapil Sibal - Drohi. He should have said 'No' when they offered him. Looks like everybody was after my portfolio only. Selfish Heartless creatures !!! I did give all of them a share of the cake right ?? Next time, nothing for anybody.

4.) Kanimozhi - Softest Corner of my heart is reserved for her. I wonder when she will reciprocate. Cha.. Women are always like this wonly.
[ Am quoting Radia Tapes here]

3.) Ministry - To Fool around. Otherwise why would people elect me to that post.

2.) CAG - Clever fellows. They found out !!! Must plug this leak with the next amendment.

1.) Radia - The cheese which lured me into the trap.

2G - One Big Headache !!!

ஆண்டிமுத்து நல்லா ஆட்டையை போட்டுடான்யா !!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , | 2 comments

New Template !!!!

Well Well Well... this is definitely going to be a first.. !! :)

I have changed the template of my blog for the second time in 3 months. That's a first first for a start.

Second, There are no more distracting widgets begging for your attention. I've moved them all down.

Have removed most of the unnecessary widges and other scripts that made the Page Load slower.

More importantly, my blog has got ranked 69 in Indiblogger. This the first ranking that I am getting and am quite happy with the results. Hoping to better the results in the coming months.

This template is the TypoMinima from Blogsessive. They've got an amazing collection of blogger templates. Actually this template was custom made for Wordpress, but later modified to suit Blogger as well. And its a pretty recent one too. :P

The last release happened on November first and it will quite some time before this template becomes a rage :P :)

There is one small known issue though.. Tamil Post Headers are not appearing at all.. The content is well presented but except for the Header. Have raised it in the concerned forums. So Let's wait and watch ...

So.. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Please do let me know what you think of the template and suggest if there are any changes.

Friday, December 3, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , | 3 comments

IndiLeaks !!!

Inspired by this TOI Article.. Here I come up with my own list ...

First for Tamil Nadu, then for India.

Tamil Nadu :-

1.) What Happened in Tamil Nadu Assembly on that Fateful day of 25th March 1989 ?. It seriously sucks to actually have missed one single over in a cricket match and then you get to know from your friends that it was a Game-Changer. Shit !!!

2.) What are the industries/ventures in which Sun Network DOES NOT have a connection or investment in ? (I would be really be proud if the Ambica Dosa Mix that is readily available in Cheta's shop is not from one of their 'many-times-removed-sister' concerns ..

3.) When will the Current Deputy Chief Minister of TamilNadu, resign from his post of 'Youth Movement'. Please tell him that on his 'Satabhishekham' (80th Birthday), I, (Er.. He too..) will become ineligible to be in Youth Wing.

4.) When will the current Chief Minister abdicate ? (This is a million dollar question.. And you might succeed in getting a small share from the 1.76 Lakh Crore that they just pocketed, if you manage to answer this Question)

5.) What exactly happened on that night of 30th June 2001. We want an unbiased, un-'suntv'-ised version of that incident please. And seriously no computer-graphics please !!!

6.) Was the sting operation on Nityananda pre-planned or out-of-vendetta because the Swami did not give the land Sun TV Wanted ? And was Ranjitha fully aware of the consequences of this nauseating 'See-This-Fraud-Saamiyaar' sting operation ? And Why wasn't any action taken or case booked against Sun-Tv for showing semi-porn during Prime Time ?

7.) Who actually killed SankarRaman ? And what was the drama behind the whole Kanchi Seer episode ? Can we get to see some actual Good Quality Videos please ?

8.) Now that the current chief minister of Tamil Nadu has released a press-release like this, I would seriously like to know the whole net-worth of the Nidhis' (pun intended) including all organisations and 'brother' concerns that they run.

9.) What exactly happened on the 12th of January 1967 between MGR and M.R.Radha ?

10.) Did they really kill Veerappan ? Can we have more details and approval documents signed by the Chief Minister at that time ?

11.) What exactly was the commission did the Then Mayor of Chennai pocket during the 'flyover season' ? Can we have a break-up please ? (Er.. I meant the list. Not the flyover)

12.) What happened to TANSI, DisProportionate Wealth Case, Vineyard Case, Pleasant Stay Cases ? [ the last one notably being the foremath of Dharmapuri Bus Burning Incident, for which recently judgement was awarded ]

13.) Does Subramanian Swamy have a life ?

Last but not the least ... When will Rajinikanth come to Power ? :P

India :-

1.) What exactly happened in the RSS and BJP Camps on the night of 5th December 1992 ? Who spoke what and what was decided ?

2.) Why did Ram Jethmalani take up Manu Sharma v/s Jessica Lal case, after he had clearly put up a board that he did not want to be disturbed for cases ? And what exactly was the obligation he owed to the Ramani's in this regard [as in a statement made by him 'The Devil's advocate']

3.) Can we have the break-up of the profits [ as in , who got what and how was it decided, and to which bank account was it transferred ] of the following scams :-

Fodder Scam
Bofors Scam
Stamp Paper Scam
Hawala Scam [ as a bonus, you can make public the content of the Jain Diaries as well]
2G spectrum Scam
just to name some of them ...

4.) Exactly what was Nehru having in his mind, when he said Hindi-Cheeni Bhai Bhai ?

5.) What happened to Lalit Modi [where is he hiding right now] and Suresh Kalmadi [ is he still in China ?] and what happened to all that supposed Audit on IPL records ? Gone down the drain ??

Most of the other questions that I wished to ask were already asked in that TOI article.

But most important question of all...

When will the Prime Minister of the Nation, Dr. ManmohanSingh stand up [for himself and for the nation ?]

Thursday, December 2, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , | Leave a comment

செருப்பு का லட்சணம்... !!!

பெண்களை வகை படுத்தும் ஒரு முக்கியமான சாஸ்திரம் - சாமுத்ரிக்கா லட்சணம் !!

இந்த சந்த்ரிகாவயே .. சாரி சாமுத்ரிகாவயே மிஞ்சுகிற அளவுக்கு... அண்ணேன்.. புதுசா ஒரு சாஸ்திரம் கண்டு பிடிச்சு இருக்கேன்...

அது தான் செருப்பு கா சாஸ்திரம் !!!!

என்னது பெயர் வித்தியாசமா இருக்கேன்னு பார்கறீங்களா ?? இப்போவெல்லாம் இந்த மாதிரி பியுஷன் பெயர் வெச்சா தாங்க வடை நாட்டு... சாரி.. வட நாட்டு கிளிகள் எல்லாம் இம்ப்ரெஸ் ஆகுதுன்ன நான் கேள்வி பட்டேன்... அதுனால தாங்க இந்த புதிய முயற்சி !!!

Many 'Analysts' have given us different explanation on the Types of Women. Given below is a common analysis of what is the 'accepted' list of the types of women.

Party girl
High maintenance
The Boss

இதெல்லாம் நமக்கு தெரிஞ்ச லிஸ்டு தான் பாஸ்... இதுல என்ன புதுசுன்னு தானே கேட்கறீங்க ...

Now that we've done this analysis, wouldn't it be nice if you could simply identify each type the moment you saw them ???

Ah !!! Is that an eyebrow raising.. ?? Hold On .. !!

How would it be if you could identify each type and not actually have to look at them to categorise... ???

Interested ??? :P Read on !!!

நம்ம ஊரிலியே அதிகமா பிகர்கள் வந்துட்டு போகுது கோயிலுக்கு தாங்க... நம்ம பசங்க எல்லாரும் கரெக்டா செவ்வாய்-வெள்ளி சாயங்காலம் க்யுல ஜாயின் பண்ணிடுவாங்க...

ஆனா அங்கேயும் நம்ம பசங்களுக்கு மிஞ்சுறது ஏமாற்றம் தான் ... இதுனால பசங்களுக்கு உண்டாகர மன உளைச்சல என்னால பார்த்திகிட்டு இருக்க முடியளுங்க ... அதுநாலா , நான் ஒரு முடிவுக்கு வந்துட்டேன் ...

கோவில் குள்ள என்டர் பன்னாமயே .. உள்ள நல்ல பிகர்கள் இருக்கா ... அந்த பிகர் எந்த கேடேகோரி ... இப்படி பல விஷயங்கள... நம்ம கண்டு பிடிக்கலாம்....

எப்படி பாஸ் இதெல்லாம்னு தானே கேட்கறீங்க ?? .. பாஸ்... யாம் பெற்ற இன்பம் பெறட்டும் இவ்வையகம் ... !!!

கோயிலுக்கு உள்ள போகாமலயே வா ?? பிகர பார்க்காமலே... அத ரேட் பண்றதா ? எப்படிங்க அது முடியும்னு தானே கேட்கறீங்க...?

சேரி... மேட்டருக்கு வருவோம் ...
கோயிலுக்கு வெளில என்னங்க இருக்கும் ??

பூ கடை, தேங்கா கடை, பக்தி கேசட் கடை அப்படின்னு நீங்க ட்ராக் மாறரதுக்கு முன்னாடியே நானே போட்டு ஓடசிடுறேன் ..

செருப்ப வெச்சு தாங்க...

அட.. என்னங்க இப்படி கேவலமான ரீஅக்ஷன் குடுக்கறீங்க ... நெஜமா தாங்க சொல்றேன்... பிகரோட செருப்ப வெச்சு ... அத ரேட் பண்ண முடியும்... அந்த செருப்பால அடி வாங்காம தப்பிக்கவும் முடியும்....

செருப்ப வெச்சு எப்படி இதெல்லாம் கண்டிபிடிகறது ...
அட... சொல்றேன்பா... பொறுமை ...

கீழ் கண்ட அட்டவனையை பார்த்து ... பிகரின் கடகரியை முடிவு செய்து கொள்ளவும் ...

இந்த மாதிரி செருப்ப பார்த்தா...சுமாரான பொண்ணு . அவளுக்கு எதுலயுமே interest இல்ல. யவனும் அவல கவனிக்க மாட்டான்னு ஒரு விதமான காம்ப்ளெக்ஸ். அதுனால அவளும் அதிகமா கவனம் செலுத்த மாட்டா. இந்த மாதிரி பிகர பிக் அப் பண்ணா ... நீங்க ஆசை படரா மாதிரி எல்லாம் நடந்துக்க மாட்டாள்... உஷார் !!!
இந்த கேடேகோரி பொண்ணுகளுக்கு ஸ்டைல்னா என்னனே தெரியாது ... நீங்க இவள கடைக்கு கூட்டிகிட்டு பொய் .. ஸ்டைலா எதாவது எடுத்துக்கோ அப்டின்னு சொன்னீங்கன்ன ... அவ மொக்கையா இருக்கிற ஒரு சுடிதார செலக்ட் பண்ணுவா... இந்த பிகுற வெளில கூட்டிகிட்டு பொய் சீன போட முடியாது.... ரிஜக்ட் !!!
இந்த மாதிரி பிகர் தாங்க நாடு முழுவதும்... சாதாரணம்... ஒரு ஆடம்பரமும் இல்லாம... அழகுன்னு சொல்ல முடியாது ... ஆனா எல்லா எடத்துலயும் பார்க்கலாம்... அந்த பஸ் ஸ்டாப்ல ஒரு பொண்ண பார்த்தேன் .. அப்பறம் அதே மாதிரி ஒரு பொண்ண கோயில்ல பார்த்தேன்னு உங்க பிரெண்ட்ஸ் சொல்லி கேள்வி பட்டிருபீங்க... காகா மாதிரி... Nothing Special!!!
இது கொஞ்சம் வசதியா இருக்கிற பொண்ணு. அப்பா செல்லம். அப்பா எது கேட்டாலும் வாங்கி குடுதிடுவாறு. இவங்க வார வாரம் கரெக்டா ரெங்கநாதன் தெரு போய் ஷாப்பிங் பண்ணிட்டு வந்திடுவாங்க... இவள பிக் அப் பண்ணீங்கன்னா நீங்க கிரெடிட் கார்டு பில்லு தான் அதிகமா கட்டுவீங்க... போண்டி !!!
இது கொஞ்சம் எக்ஸ்ட்ரா ஹை க்லாசுங்கோ ... அப்பன் பணத்த தண்ணி மாதிரி செலவு செய்யிற பார்ட்டி ... இத பிக் அப் பண்ணீங்க... நல்லி, குமரன், பிரம்மாண்டமாய் எல்லாம் போகாம... நாய்டு ஹால் ல தான் இருப்பீங்க... திவால் !!!
இந்த மாதிரி பிகருக்கு நல்ல டேஸ்ட்டு உண்டு . எதையுமே ஸ்டைலா செய்யனும்ன்னு ஆசை படுவா.. காசு கம்மியா இருந்தா அத வெச்சும் அட்ஜஸ்ட் பண்ணுவா.. உங்களால இவ கூட கார்ல ஊரு சுத்த முடியலன்னு வருத்த பட்டீங்கன்னா, இவ பைக்ல சுத்தினா எனக்கு அதுவே போதும்னு பீலிங்க்ஸா பேசுவா... ஆனா காச பார்த்துகிட்டு நீங்க சந்கீதாக்கு பதிலா தலப்பாக்கட்டு கூட்டிகிட்டு போனீங்கன்னா, இதே செருப்பால உங்களுக்கு அடி நிச்சயம் ... குட் சாய்ஸ் !!!
இது குள்ள கத்திரிக்கா. சப்பல் எந்த டிசைன்னா இருந்தாலும்...இவ்ளோ பெரிய ஹீல்ஸ் இருந்தா... கன்பார்ம் கத்திரிக்காய் ... செருப்ப வெச்சு இவங்க heighta சொல்ல முடியாது.. ஆனா ஹீல் ஆறு அங்குலத்துக்கு மேல இருந்ததுன்னா கண்டிப்பா பொண்ணு அஞ்சு அடி இல்ல அதுக்கு கீழ தான்... உங்க இஷ்டம்.. உங்க கஷ்டம் !!!
அப்பன் கண்டிப்பா கொத்தனாரா தான் இருக்க முடியும்.. செருப்புலியே எப்படி பாலம் கட்டிருக்கா .. பாதீங்களா ?? எதுக்கு செருப்பு கிழ வூட் வொர்க் இருக்கான்னு செக் பண்ணிகொங்க... உங்கள் க்ரிஹ பிரவேசத்துக்கு எமது வாழ்த்துக்கள் !!!
இந்த பிகர் எங்கேயோ வெளியூர் போயிட்டு வந்திருக்கா. அதுவும் கண்டிப்பா இந்த செருப்ப அவ காசு போட்டு வாங்கல... ஏதோ பொண்ணு ஊருலிருந்து வந்திருக்கேன்னு உறவு காரங்க வாங்கி குடுத்திருபாங்க... காசு செலவு பண்றதுல.. நம்பர் ஒன் கஞ்சம். ஆனா பந்தா பார்ட்டி !!!
இது கொஞ்சம் ரெண்ஜான்ன பிகர். பார்த்து கேர்புல்லா டீல் பண்ணனும்... கொஞ்சம் மிஸ் பண்ணீங்க பிகர் எஸ் ஆயிடும். இந்த மாதிரி பிகர் மாட்டுறது கொஞ்சம் கஷ்டம். அதுனால... கொஞ்சம் அலைய ரெடி ஆயிடுங்க மாப்ள.. நல்ல சாய்ஸ் !!!
இந்த செருப்ப பார்த்தாலே தெரியல.. இந்த பிகர் எப்படின்னு ? ரூம் போட்டு யோசிக்கிற டைப். ஒரு செருப்பே இப்படி செலக்ட் பண்றான்னா.. அவ கூட சுத்த போற அவளோட ஆள அவ எப்படி செலக்ட் பண்ணுவான்னு யோசிச்சு பார்த்துகோங்க... ஸ்ஸ்ஸ்பா !!!!!
இந்த பிகருக்கு அலங்காரம்ன ரொம்ப பிடிக்கும்... கால்ல போடற செருப்பயே டூர் மேட் மாதிரி செலக்ட் பண்ணி போட்டு
இருக்கான்னா நீங்களே பார்த்துகோங்களேன்... நச்சரிப்பு கேஸ் !!!!
இதுக்கு ஸ்டைல்ன்னா என்னனே தெரியாது... எந்த விதமான வித்தியாசமும் நீங்க இவ கிட்ட எதிர்பார்க்க முடியாது... நீங்களா போய் இது கிட்ட மாட்டிக்காதீங்க... மச்சி எஸ்கேப் !!!!
இந்த பிகருக்கு நீங்க ட்ரை பண்றது வேஸ்ட்டு. இது வகேஷன்னுக்காக வந்திருக்கிற பிகர். வகேஷன் முடிஞ்சதும், இவளும் பேக் அப். சோ நோ பிக் அப். !!! டைம் பாஸ் !!!
இந்த பிகர நீங்க கரெக்ட் பண்ணனும்னு ட்ரை பண்ணனும்ன்னு நெனசீங்கன்னா ... செருப்பு ஸ்டான்ட்லியே இவள மடகிடுங்க... ஏனா .. அவ கோயில் ட்யூட்டிய முடிச்சிட்டு... ஸ்ட்ரேட்டா பார்ட்டிக்கு போறா.. இவளுக்கு ஏற்கனவே ஆள் இருக்கு. சோ ஒன்னு நீங்களும் இவ கூட போங்க... இல்ல டாட்டா காட்டுங்க ... டைம் வேஸ்ட் !!!!
இந்த மாதிரி செருப்ப போட்டுக்கிட்டு வந்தா ரெண்டே அர்த்தம் தான்... ஒன்னு இவ வீடு ரொம்ப பக்கத்துல இருக்கு. அதுனால அவ இந்த மாதிரி செருப்ப போட்டுகிட்டே வந்துட்டா.. அது மட்டும் இல்லாம... அவ அண்ணனோ , அப்பாவோ யாரோ, பக்கத்துல இருக்கிற சாத்திய கூறு ஜாஸ்தி... அதுனால... கொஞ்சம் உஷார்... ரெண்டாவது... இந்த மாதிரி ஏதோ ஒரு லூசு பைய்யன் எழுதின ப்ளோக படிச்சிட்டு... எக்கச்சக்க பேரு இவளுக்கு ப்ரொபோஸ் பண்ணதுனால... அடிக்கறதுக்கு வசதியா இருக்குன்னு இவளே ஹவாய்க்கு மாறின வாய்ப்புகளும் அதிகம்... ச்சி ச்சி இந்த பழம் புளிக்கும்.... !!!!

இந்த மகத்தான சேவைக்காக... தயவு செய்து யாரும் எனக்கு பாரத ரத்னவோ ... பத்மஸ்ரீயோ குடுக்க வேண்டும் என்று பிரதமருக்கும், ஜனாதிபதிக்கும் கடிதம் போட வேண்டாம் ...

உங்க பிரெண்ட்ஸ் எல்லாருக்கும், இந்த போஸ்ட பார்வர்ட் பண்ணுங்க... அண்ணனோட புகழ் பரப்புங்க... !!! பிகர பிக் அப் பண்ணி .. என்ஜோய் பண்ணுங்க.. !!!

வாழ்க தமிழ்... வளர்க தமிழ் நாட்டு பெண்கள் !!!

P.S:- Seriously NOM to any lady who might be having this type of chappal or shoe. This post arose due to a casual incident in my life, when all I could see about a particular lady in a bus was just her chappal. So I tried 'build' her in my imagination and failed catastrophically... But you know, I haven't been made for failures. So I decided why not ?? So I started from scratch... Soon I picked up enough stuff to tell from the way the slipper had worn, where this girl had been. :P

P.P.S:- None of the above stuff is true. :P :)

P.P.P.S:- The NOM part of course is True. NOM once again !!!

Monday, November 29, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , , , | 4 comments

Perhaps the First time...

This is perhaps the first time, that two Item songs released in the same year have taken the nation by storm... !!!

One was Munni with her Zandu Balm movement...

The other of course, :) Katrina ... !!! with her Jawaani.. Oops... I meant Sheila Ki Jawaani ... Full marks to Sunidhi Chauhan... Awesome Singing... !!!!

Below is an embedded HQ Video... Enzzooiiii !!!!

I Know You Want It
But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Maane Na Maane Koi Duniya
Yeh Saari, Mere Ishq Ki Hai Deewani

Hey Hey,
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Maane Na Maane Koi Duniya Yeh Saari
Mere Ishq Ki Hai Deewani
Ab Dil Karta Hai Haule Haule Se
Main Toh Khud Ko Gale Lagaun
Kisi Aur Ki Mujhko Zaroorat Kya
Main Toh Khud Se Pyaar Jataun

What’s My Name
What’s My Name
What’s My Name

My Name Is Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
Na Na Na Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani

Take It On
Take It On
Take It On
Take It On

Silly Silly Silly Silly Boys
O O O You’re So Silly
Mujhe Bolo Bolo Karte Hain
Haan Jab Unki Taraf Dekhun, Baatein Haule Haule Karte Hain
Hai Magar, Beasar Mujh Par Har Paintra

Haye Re Aise Tarse Humko
Ho Gaye Sober Se Re
Sookhey Dil Pe Megapan Ke Teri Nazariya Barse Re
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
Na Na Na Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani

Paisa Gaadi Mehnga Ghar
?Ani Na Mainu Ki Gimme Your That
Jaibein Khaali Bhadti Chal
No No I Don’t Lie Like That

Chal Yahan Se Nikal Tujhe Sab Laa Dunga
Kadmon Mein Tere Laake Jag Rakh Dunga
Khwaab Main Kar Dunga Poore
Na Rahenge Adhoore
You Know I’m Going To Love You Like That, Whatever

Haye Re Aise Tarse Humko
Ho Gaye Sober Se Re
Sookhey Dil Pe Begapan Ke Teri Nazariya Barse Re
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
You Never Gonna Get My Body
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Maane Na Maane Koi Duniya Yeh Saari
Tere Ishq Ki Main Deewani

Ab Dil Karta Hai Haule Haule Se
Main Toh Khud Ko Gale Lagaun
Kisi Aur Ki Mujhko Zaroorat Kya
Main Toh Khud Se Pyaar Jataun

What’s My Name
What’s My Name
What’s My Name

My Name Is Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
O No No Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani

Ain’t Nobody Got Body Like Sheila
Everybody Want Body Like Sheila
Drive Me Crazy Coz My Name Is Sheila
Ain’t Nobody Got Body Like Sheila
Everybody Want Body Like Sheila
Drive Me Crazy Coz My Name Is Sheila
Ain’t Nobody Got Body Like Sheila

by Hari
Categories: , , | Leave a comment

How deep does the Rabbit Hole go ???

First things first. How big is the pee ? (oops... sorry.. I meant pie)

The pie is 1,70,000 Crore... In figures it is like this...

1,70,000,00,00,000 Rs.
Or to put it in international format ...
17,000,000,000,000 Rs. That's a whopping 17 Trillion Indian Rupees.
Now converting that to U.S Dollars, we get something like (@ a modest 40Rs/USD)
425,000,000,000 - WoW ...

!!! $425bn !!!!

If only Barack Obama knew about this, he would have specifically arranged for a meeting with this man, even if it was at the cost of missing the Banquet thrown by the Prime Minister. Come on, Barack Obama knows that $425 bn is more than enough to bail his country out of the Crisis. He must be thinking,
'They steal our jobs, transfer the taxpayers' money into their swiss accounts and then they have the bloody cheek to tell these people that it was because of recession. Damn !! I wish I was born here.'
The best part is yet to come. This guy, the person responsible for this whole shit, is still out in the open, with not iota of shame or responsibility. The least he can do is to atleast resign. (Atleast till he can fabricate evidences that it was an entirely another man impersonating him and forging his signature and making those trips to the Parliament and even managing to have his own thumbprints replicated, quoting the advances in Science and Technology, maybe in the attempt, even manage to blame Director Shankar for showing SciFi in his movies and try to get Rajinikanth in the frame by saying that it was an Enthiran who had replaced him)

But I am not surprised at this. What I am surprised is that in this whole shit, not one, mind you, I am very choosy about my words, NOT ONE MINISTER/M.P from the ruling party side has stood up and talked about ethics. Why in fact even the man-in-charge-of the-scam has not spoken up. How come suddenly, nobody has a backbone. Oh Hell, I forgot, If they had one, they wouldn't be sitting there. Isn't it ?

And look at the bloody cheek here. Bloody Hell, you couldn't even open your arse in the Parliament, I won't be surprised if they prise your mouth open and find a couple of oysters hiding in there. Sub-Judice ?? And that too the man saying it... Boy, This deserves to come on MTV Ticker.. Or even better, Aditya Channel for Prime Time Comedy... And the man says (I am quoting from Sify)
'She has no moral right to speak on this.'
Fine.. I agree with you Mr. Union Minister about 'She' not having the right to speak on this. But what about the rest of us. You think that the rest of us all are immoral bastards isn't it ??. Well Well... Thank you Mr. Union Minister. Now If I get a chance to say this to your face, I would love to see the expression on your face. Here goes my question 'Have you ever tried to see how many lakhs actually went up your arsehole ? I bet you couldn't have gotten past even a few thousand rupee notes. I have a better caption for your election for the next term. Save My arse, Please don't vote for me.'

Now, comes another question, why is the government so keen to save him ?? SAVE HIM ? He should be given a public trial.. That's what you are saying right ? Come on my friend.. This is India. Here civilians are tried, not criminals and Union Ministers are not guilty even when they are caught in the middle of a prostitution racket.

Everybody out there, is trying to save this man. Now coming back to the question, why is everybody out to save this man ?? Can't you see that its so obvious... ???
I think I know the answer. As the JOKER says in THE DARK KNIGHT
'I know the squealers when I see them'
They are plain scared that he is gonna squeal. And since his squealing is going to be so loud that it may start breaking panes at Barack Obama's summer Camp, they just want to shut him up or better still, cover this . And here starts the Operation Cover-up.

Not satisfied ? OK. Why is the government going to Supreme Court ? Obviously they are scared that an enquiry into this will lead to the study of the CAG being brought to light and may expose the wonderful 'doings' more than that would be necessary and thus throwing the whole 'Constitutional Machinery and money-laundering exercise' into chaos. Moreover it is merely an eye-washing act so that the Opposition is also satisfied. I wonder how many of those zeroes, as we are speaking, are being transferred to the opposition's swiss accounts.

I will not be surprised if each and every one of those MP's including the Prime Minister of the Country and the President of the Party has a share in this huge cake. Its a pretty big cake and I am sure everybody has now bitten a little more than what they could have actually stuffed. Now that they are caught with their hand in the cookie jar they'd better keep their mouths shut.

Now let us see what the fuss is about CAG. I think this team (though it is represented by a single man, I still wish to re-iterate that there is an entire team behind him.) has done a superb job. I am not being sarcastic. In fact, for the first time perhaps in this decade, I am seeing a government body going after a Union Minister with all they've got. In fact a killer job. They nailed him. And now they are making him squeal. Kudos. Hats off. Three Cheers. Fantastic Jobs. Please do complete the CWG audit also and let us know the squealers on that one too. Please... :)

Apparently the Joint Secretary of the Law Ministry does not think so. In a news item that I read here, the concerned person has in fact 'advised' the CAG that
“[The] CAG Act 1971 nowhere provides that he [CAG] has any duty or power to question the wisdom of the policy/lawmaker...[they] cannot exceed the role assigned to them under the constitution/law. The CAG has no duty or power to challenge the policy decisions taken by the government,”
Now my question is, if the Law Ministry is advising the CAG on constitutional roles, They might as well have quoted the Article/Amendment/Schedule. Well, if there was one, they would have, haven't they .. ? Apparently the Joint Secretary was absent in school on the day they taught Constitution and on the day the Law Ministry came to recruit him, they simply asked him to write his name and sing a song and presto,he is immediately given an offer letter that opens with the following words...
'Welcome to the Government of India, where laws are made to be broken'

I am quoting from the CAG website. Its an autonomous government body. And on its website it clearly states ...
Propriety Audit which extends beyond scrutinising the mere formality of expenditure to it wisdom and economy and to bring to light cases of improper expenditure or waste of public money

While conducting the audit of receipts of the Central and State Governments, the Comptroller & Auditor General satisfies himself that the rules and procedures ensure that assessment, collection and allocation of revenue are done in accordance with the law and there is no leakage of revenue which legally should come to Government.

Let me quote again , ' leakage of revenue which legally should come to Government'.
Pretty much clear-cut and to the point isn't it ?

Apparently the Chief Secretary is clearly not a well-read man. I guess,the well-decorated and 'Oh-I-Got-Degrees-From-So-Many-Universities-In-the-World-But-I-Ain't-got-a-BackBone' Prime Minster and the Law Ministries should either get that appointment due to their ophthalmologist or better still, ask their secretaries to be well aware of what falls with the purview of the constitution and their own non-sense.

What I am also surprised is that, this is the same CAG that performs Audit on the government's treasury for income and expenses. How come no-one's raised a concern on this one. Finance Ministry can easily shut up the Law Ministry with a single comment from their side. But, there is silence prevailing.

Quoting from the Hindu - Dated 2007 January.
"Parliament is a co-ordinate organ and its views do deserve deference even while its acts are amenable to judicial scrutiny."
And mind you, that is a line from a Judgement from the Highest Court of Law in the country.

So according to me (I am a MangoMan), a lawyer even contemplating of going to court with this case that this should not be presented to Supreme Court argument , is in the first place, recording a 'Contempt of Court and its judgement' even before the case is brought to hearing. I would love to hear lawyers talk about this one. So now the government has now no other option but to go to court.

What I am waiting for is for the TamizhNadu's current Chief Minister to play his 'Oh-He-Is-A-Dalit-And-They-Are-Trying-To-Degrade-Him' harp for perhaps the 8902nd time in his life ? or maybe its the 8903rd time ? Either way, he knows that with Elections due in another 4 months, all the magazines and news dailies in the state are literally baying for his blood and will not hesitate to shit on him for playing Caste Politics (which of course he has been playing for perhaps the last 5 decades of his so called [outrightedly disgusting, stinking and nauseating] political life.) So the old man is playing the cards close to his chest. Careful sweetheart, lest you go down with those cards never being revealed. What would happen to the Union Minster then ? I shudder to think.

I beg the CAG to please go public with the whole scam. Wash this man's dirty linen in public. Make sure he does not and cannot have a social life EVER in this country. Show him what it really means to be an outcaste in the society and teach him that it will not do him any good to play his caste-card. That trump card was for the previous decade. Not this one. If it was within my powers I would make him wash the plates and glasses in the LS Canteen for the next 20 years without a single penny for compensation. Maybe perhaps a Parle-G ??? Or has the minister already begun to avoid the G word ??

G will tell perhaps.

And now for some respite. Please do watch these songs. The one on the left starts with lyrics

"For how many years more will you keep cheating the people.
You keep acting as if you are some good soul,
You are only waiting for an opportunity to rob."

எத்தனைக் காலம்தான் ஏமாற்றுவார் இந்த நாட்டிலே
சொந்த நாட்டிலே நம் நாட்டிலே
சத்தியம் தவறாத உத்தமர் போலவே நடிக்கிறார்
சமயம் பார்த்துப் பல வகையிலும் கொள்ளை அடிக்கிறார்
பக்தனைப் போலவே பகர்ந்தே கண்காட்டி
பாமர மக்களை வலையினில் மாட்டி

Don't steal my child.
Correct your mistakes when its early enough to correct them.
Those who plan and steal continue to steal
Those who enact laws to stop them continue to enact laws.
Unless and until the thief regrets we cannot stop this.

திருடாதே ... பாப திருடாதே ...
சிந்தித்து பார்த்து .. செய்கையை மாத்து
சிறிசா இருக்கையில் திருத்திக்கோ ... தவறு சிறிசா இருக்கையில் திருத்திக்கோ .
தெருஞ்சும் தெரியாமல் நடந்திருந்தால் அது திரும்பவும் வராம பார்த்துக்கோ ...

திட்டம் போட்டு திருடர கூட்டம் திருடி கொண்டே இருக்குது
அத சட்டம் போட்டு தடுக்கற கூட்டம் தடுத்து கொண்டே இருக்குது
திருடராய் பார்த்து திருந்தா விட்டால் .. திருட்டை ஒழிக்க முடியாது ...

Ironically both the songs have been sung my Makkal Thilagam MGR, way back in 1961. :) :D

Friday, November 12, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , , , | 6 comments

An Addendum to கவிதை கவிதை...

O.K. Guys, here is the confession ... :P

That song that I 'wrote' on the previous கவிதை கவிதை... was nothing but an English Translation of one of my most favorite songs.. :) சந்தன தென்றலை ... :P

From the movie Kandukondaen Kandukondaen... Beautifully written in Tamizh by Vairamuthu ... :) :D

ROTFLOL .. !!!

And you really thought that the love-bug had bitten me .. hadn't you ??? :) :D
And no, even if the real love bug does bite me, it will not transform me into a poet... I am good writer.. Maybe it will transform me from a good to a better or perhaps the best writer.. but Poetry ... तौबा तौबा ..

I am pretty good at this kind of stuff, ain't I ?? :)
But seriously tell me, the translation was good...wasn't it.. ?

Thursday, November 11, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , | Leave a comment

கவிதை கவிதை...

Oh Baby .. !! Oh Baby .. !!

Closing the French Windows for punishing the wind is not fair baby..
Your eyes are silent, that ain't the answer to my question baby ..
It ain't gonna take me more than a second to profess my love..
To live that love I need you in my life babe ...
To turn me down, you don't need more than a moment babe ..
But to hear it from your lips, I'd rather die...
And Here I am Waiting for your answer
Waiting with bated breath babe ...

The day I first saw you baby, My heart wouldn't stop racing.
'She's the one for you' that's what it was saying.
I'd wished if I could tie you up in my heart,
but that ain't the way love works, does it baby ???
I keep seeing you everywhere, It's like you're my universe
Give me a reason to live baby, or else walk over my corpse.
My very existence is now subject to the mere nod of your head baby
Don't let my soul wander here and there yearning for your love baby

I sometimes wonder why the day hasn't dawned
Then I realize that I was looking at your dark hair
I sometimes wonder why the sun hasn't set
I realize that I was looking into your eyes
The beautiful girls that I have seen till date
Are now nothing before you baby...
Do you not trust me ? Why do you hesitate baby .. ?
I hate this indecision but I love you baby ...

So... ? ? ? How is it ?? and my apologies for the excess Baby .. !!! :P

Please Please do tell me how this is ... I have a confession to make here. :) :P

P.S:- This incidently is the 450th Post on this blog... Yippeee !!!! :) :D

Wednesday, November 10, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , | 4 comments

Maa Salaama Misr !!!

I am moving out of Cairo in a couple of hours from now... And this is going to my swansong post on Cairo Diaries. I have written about 25 posts.. mrgreenrazzsurprisedmrgreen, spread over a period of 8 months., spanning about 12000 words

I had fun here, in the land labled as the Gift of the Nile and where civilization once flourished. I loved the city and the night life. The attitude of people towards foreigners, the different types of food stuffs that I had the opportunity to taste.

Here is a concise gist of what I did and What I did not do...

First and foremost -
The food stuffs that I will miss.

1.) First and Foremost, Asab (Sugarcane juice) .. I will never forget that glassful of Sugarcane juice that we had on the way to Luxor. And nor will I forget that Extra Sweet Asab in Alexandria. I loved my El Nozha flat, where I had access to fresh Asab, 24 hours :) I will miss it very badly.

2.) Will miss Nawab's Malai Kofta and Rabdi. (Actually had it one last time yesterday mrgreen)

3.) Kazaz's strawberry juice, Bedengal, Fried Eggplant with Tomato Sauce, Turshi, Lentil Soup and of course Om Ali.

4.) FelFela's Falafel and Foul.

5.) Tom and Basel's Koshary and Roz-ba-Laban.

6.) Massala's Samosa and Achar

The people ...

1.) 'THE' Beautiful Egyptian Women... (Sigh.. !! sad). I just love their dressing sense. With all the traditional attire on them , they still look so attractive and beautiful. I will definitely miss them in India...

2.) The smiling faces of the lift operator, the lady in the pantry and of course the Security Guards who always had the toughest job of waking up in the early hours to open the doors for us. The security guard who works on our floor is actually a qualified lawyer (Imagine that...!!!) He says he took to this profession because he could not get a job)

3.) The mostly honest Taxi Drivers and the friendly people who are always hell bent on calling you Amitabh Bachchan. lol

Other things that I will miss ...

1.) That 4 minute drive at 80 kmph through the 6 kms of Azhar Nafr(Tunnel). Man.. That is one hell of a journey.

2.) Khan-El-Khalili - That is a treasure trove of souvenirs. You need to learn how to bargain here. Everybody addresses you as Amitabh Bachchan. And If you manage to win them over, you can take back stuff at dirt cheap prices.

3.) That awesome 24X7 connectivity to the Internet at workplace and at home. I was always connected whenever possible. Helped me do a lot of things. I am afraid I might not have access to Internet once I get back to work in India, and hence trying make maximum use of it. :P

4.) City Stars.. !!! razz.. Boy !! I will never forget the three Inception shows that I watched here and the reaction of the spectators.

Some things Egypt needs to improve on ...

1.) Traffic on the Roads. Inspite of having so many flyovers and subways/Nafrs, the traffic is still Cairo's biggest problem. The fastest way to travel by Car in Cairo is to travel on a Friday morning :P

2.) Definitely a bigger and better airport. I can't and am still not able to believe that a city that gets record number of visitors, still does not have a proper airport with all facilities. They do not even have a proper lounge.

3.) Better Metro Connectivity. Currently the Metro operates only in a particular region. If only they could increase the connectivity to other regions, the transportation woes of Cairo might just be over.

4.) More theatres that show English movies. And I am surprised that when they love Hindi movies, why don't they screen them ???

Some Places that I would never forget all my life ...

1.) Abu Simbel (Comes first on my list, because this one was more important to me than the pyramids and it was only fitting that I saw this place first biggrin
2.) Aswan
3.) Luxor
4.) Ain-Sokhna
5.) Alexandria
6.) Sharm-El-Shaikh
7.) Pyramids and Sphinx

Some places that I would have liked to visit :-

1.) North Coast
2.) Port Said
3.) Hurghada
4.) Saqqara
5.) I missed out on Cairo Tower and eating at Esbarro.

It's time to say goodbye and although I hate to say it, I have to ...

I have fallen in love with the city and am actually sad that I am leaving Cairo.

Maa-Salaama Misr.

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Hind

P.S:- Below are some pics that I have taken in the last one week. Vintage Cairo.

Monday, November 8, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , | Leave a comment

Cairo Diaries - 25

This one is going to be short and is a review of two restaurants. Two oriental restaurants. Though I claim myself to be an adventurous guy, I am sometimes scared of experimenting too much with food.

First place that I went to was Jo-Sushi - A Japanese Restaurant. It is on the Mohammed Mazhar Street, in Zamalek. Open from 12 AM to 12 PM. It is totally devoid of any dazzling lights and you can easily miss it. It's actually a small restaurant but very artfully decorated. Ambience was great, and so was the setting.

I was initially a bit skeptical because Sushi is basically fish and what would a vegetarian get in a Sushi Restaurant ? Well, my doubts were put to rest when I saw 'some' vegetarian items on the menu. For starters I ordered Miso Shiru - its actually Soya Bean soup. To be frank, it was totally pathetic when tasted just like that. I had to squeeze and entire lemon to make it appealing to the tongue.

The Cucumber Salad was too good. Not as spicy as they had advertised. But nevertheless good. :)

Then Vegetarian Maki. It is basically steamed rice wrapped in some edible leaves (don't ask me what leaves), with a filling of your choice in them, served with some Wasabi and sauces. I chose Japanese Pickles for Filling. It was very very good. And as for Wasabi. Here is a point of caution. DO NOT simply taste it. It hits your tongue and nose as fast as lightning and the taste blinds your senses for a moment. Just for a fraction of a second you feel as if you have sniffed in Sulphuric Acid. Its pungent and hot nature and can actually spoil your whole experience.

The pickled ginger was awesome !!! I loved it.

For dessert it was fried banana laced with honey and served with coconut icecream. Decent fare. A sumptuous dinner fare for two would cost you around 250 EGP (If you are a non-vegetarian).

The other restaurant that we visited was the Thai Elephant Restaurant in Zamalek (again :)). This one actually did not live upto the expectations.

The mixed vegetables soup in coconut milk was good. It was a different taste actually. The rice was good, but not the one they advertised. Fried Sweet Corn gets 10/10. Just perfect !!! I loved it.

The Vegetable Red curry was ok ok types. Tasted like some 2nd grade restaurant food in India. Ice Cream was good. Fried Icecream with coconut layer.

The ambience is awesome. It gets a 9/10 for ambience. Service is pathetic. Food is good. Not great. Not the place where you would like to bring your special someone or an entire evening. You never know how the food may turn out to be.

Average dining cost for two would be 250 EGP (for one vegetarian and the other non-vegetarian)

P.S:- Wondering why there is suddenly a spate of Cairo Diaries... ? :)

by Hari
Categories: , , | Leave a comment

Cairo Diaries - 24

As with my previous post, I am writing this from memory and not from my fresh memories of Khan El Khalili.

Though I've never bothered to know the etymology of the word, this is one of the oldest operative souks in the Middle East, functioning from a time as early as the 13th century. This is one of the MOST happening places in Cairo, undoubtedly.

And how do I justify that ? The number of buses that ply on the road to Khan-El-Khalili far outnumber the ones that ply to the Cairo Museum. Tourists come here by scores and buy stuff worth thousands of Dollars !!! rolleyes twisted biggrin

The market is literally built around the Al-Hussein Mosque, a very impressive structure for a prayer hall. The mosque is also rumored to possess the oldest copy of the written Quran.

The street surrounding the Mosque (rather the streets adjacent to the walls of the mosque ) are actually less dazzling and more conservative, dealing predominantly with embellishments for the womenfolk. The roads that lead from the Mosque and into the buildings are the actual market place.

And though it appears as if it is one big market in which you can easily get lost, it is all interconnected. You can start at one end and still end up at the other diagonal end of the market. The market actually looks like the replica of the market that comes in 'I Dream of Jeannie', just that there are too many good looking Jeannies around mrgreen

There is one big complex full of eateries right outside the mosque. They are way too expensive and not worth the price, according to me. The shops near the mosque start out as a small lane immediately after the eatery complex.

On your right is a small, dimly lit shop selling Turkish eyes. The shop is full of them, but they are priced a bit on the higher side. Unless and until you have a thing for Turkish eyes, do not try to bargain here. A couple of shops after this is a shop selling ladies hand bags, and other ladies accessories. There are some really good Sheesha's (Hookah like) arranged outside for display near this shop.

Further down the lane, takes you to a narrow junction. On your left you see lamps covered with metallic covers with mindblowing filigiree looks. This corner takes the breath out of you, at first sight when the shop is fully lit. It suddenly transcends the mortal frame and transfers you into a realm of impossibility and immortality at the same time.

You should know how to bargain here.
Bleese my friend, I make good brice and good disiskount for you. Only for you my friend, Walla, I give sicaksty bounds.

He probably meant a discount and a price of sixty pounds. It will definitely help knowing the Arabic numerals before you go there, so that you can bargain. And NO !!! You need not bargain everything in dollars and Euros. You'd better deal in EGP or else you might get conned right royally.
Wallahi my friend, this is good brice my friend. I am poor man, and allah knows it.
After the shop with filigree work come the shops with shawls and other stuff. The moment you cross these shops you come into an area that is actually a junction with some open space. Just before this is a small staircase to your right, where you can get the best shawls and woolen wear in Cairo. After that the road meanders into an alley of jewellery shops and the crowd too thins a lot after this.

There are innumerable coffeeshops and pub-like houses all around and also inside Khan-El-Khalili. Many of these pubs also showcase the famed Belly Dancing. This is one item that is still unchecked on my Bucket List. twisted

The street parallel to this is one which is every woman's dream and every husband's bane. It's so full of stuff that women would love to buy. Right from cozy evening wear to attractive footwear and glamorous hand bags you have it all here. You'd better forget your thriftiness at home, if you really want to buy something for folks back home.

I swear on my god, my friend, I give you good brice. Lesser price I lose my friend. Wallahi Zamili. You are from Hind, so I give good brice. For tourists this is tharty bounds. For you my friend, special brice, twendy bounds. Last price twendy bounds.
Apart from the fact that you are called Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan, the place is an Indian market in all aspects. As you go down that main street of Khan El Khalili you come to a t-shirt shop that sells t-shirts of teams like Egypt, Portugal, Brazil etc. Then comes a junction. This is a very important junction.

If you proceed to your left, a 100 metres, you land up on the main road. Just before you come to the main road, do not forget to taste BazBouza from the old man standing at the corner of the street. They are really good. If you cross the road and go on to the other side, it is a smaller textile market. A pretty decent one. But not much variety.

If on the other hand, you proceed straight ahead from the junction, you end up in perhaps the longest market street in Cairo. This is a place where you can bargain a 40 pound item for 6 pounds and get it at 8 pounds. And No, I am not joking. During my most recent visit (and perhaps my last) to Khan-El-Khalili I got two T-Shirts that I was looking for, for more than 3 months. I even managed to get some other material that I was planning to buy in Wakkalat (Another Cotton Market, on the other side of the Nile) all at dead cheap prices. The entrance to this street has many shops that specialise in rare herbs and plants, which are piled up in pitchers. It lends the air the fragrance of a 'naatu-marundhu-kadai'

O.K, and here is the price-list. A T-Shirt of good quality Egyptian cotton costs you about 15 EGP max. If you are buying more than 5 nos., You can bargain for 12. They don't lessen the price more than that. :) And trust me, the TShirts are worth the 15 pounds that you pay.

Glass Pyramids (3 Nos.) not more than 15 EGP.
One big metallic Pyramid - not more than 30 EGP.
3 small metallic Pyramids with sizes in decreasing order - 30 EGP.
Turkish Eye Chains - not more than 10 EGP (no matter how many turkish eyes they contain)

P.S:- Don't forget to taste the coconut at the old man's shop. It'll be awesome.

P.P.S:- And do not float in air, if they address you as Amitabh Bachchan. They would not mind conning the Big B himself twistedmrgreen

P.P.P.S:- All photos are acknowledged to be the clicks of their original 'shooters' and no copyright violation is intended.

by Hari
Categories: , , | 1 comment