All Was Not Well..!!

My Heart goes out to Chetan Bhagat... I know this might be a little too late in the deluge of posts supporting Chetan Bhagat, on the exclusion of his name from the credit list of you-know-what-it-is, 'All izz not well', but then, I have my own take on this.

I can fully understand the trauma that Chetan has gone through. I have mentioned it in this blog and elsewhere too, that I am not a Chetan Bhagat fan. I was only moderately impressed by his FPS and very much impressed by Two States, which according to me, is better than the remaining three of his earlier books put together. Well, that being said and understood, let's get down to some shit-storming. The reason why I call this shit-storming is that, I know that come hell or high water, shit is gonna hit, either me or the fan, so might as well as call it that...

Now coming to the interesting part... Chetan Bhagat was to the publishing industry, what Gandhi was to Khadi. I know, that it is totally-total blasphemy to compare Chetan to Gandhi, but the magnitude of the job was. Apart from the occassional, Arundhati Roy, Shobhaa De and Jhumpa Lahiri book, that sold 25000 copies to be addressed as best sellers, there was no other saleable author. And then.. then came the Chetan Bhagat wave that took the literary world by storm. As most critics comment, he is not a writer of great literary value, but heck, who cares, They are entertaining. He literally revived the publishing industry. Chetan knew what a 100 bucks meant for an ordinary middle class Indian. He priced it well below the range, with some bookshops offering upto 20% off on the 95, for school and college students, and upto 30% for bulk bookings. I had understood the phenomenon of book pricing from a practical example. Publishing companies realised that this was indeed a viable model. They no longer needed to cater to the elitist upper class. Folks felt, here was an author who was offering them upto 8 hours of entertainment, for the cost of a movie ticket !!!!

Then ? Shit Happenned. Chetan Bhagat apparently sold the rights to adapt the book into a movie to some film editor, who at that time, hardly had 2 movies to his credit, which luckily were super hits, thanks to the famishing state of the box-office, which lapped up the movie, and gave it a great rating. I still feel that the success of the two movies was more a factor of hype and overreaction, than the actual story itself. Wiki quotes this movie as Cult Classic. Excuse me ?? Pray, then what is God Father ? - Nursery Rhyme ?

This film editor apparently wanted all the credit for himself, when he wanted to make this movie, so he adds up clauses, which make CB unable to actually claim anything was his own, at the same time, making sure, no blame fell on him. This was very evident by the fact that he uploaded the pdf of the contract agreement signed and the cheque that was given to CB for the movie, if it became a super-hit. Apparently the editor was looking to divert the topic away, by making it look like as if it was money the writer was after.

It took him two press conferences and god-knows-how-many vodkas, to understand, that the issue which was being discussed in the media was the credit and not the money. And now the editor realises that he is treading on thin ground. Apparently this film editor and the producer of this movie, had miscalculated the firepower CB would be bringing along, if they were to accuse him. And backfire, it did.. In style...

All I wanted to say to the film editor at that time was ... अब इसके बाद मुंह किधर रखोगे जनाब ? खुद का तो एक लाइन लिखा नहीं, इसमें तुम किसी और पर चिल्ला रहे हो । अरे भाई, गांधीगिरी का क्या हो गया ? घास चरने गयी थी क्या ?

All Chetan wanted was that there must be some credit given to him for his story. Poor chap, even till the runup to the movie, he was not sure, what was happening, as was so evident from his post on November 2nd.

And then comes the nincompoop. You know what, he is so innocent and fair, that he is totally totally unaware of what the actual problem is. He may have directed a movie, but that doesn't make him a writer, for that matter, I don't even consider him as an actor.

So what did the trio think ? They can bring down one writer with some threats ? Bullshit. CB is bigger than all that. I am sure, the nincompoop would have got the shock of his life, when he saw the twitter feeds and facebook walls supporting chetan Bhagat. He thought, that he was larger than life, but the truth was that CB was larger than him. Though CB has told his fans, that he is not against the nincompoop, no body can deny the fact that the nincompoop opened his mouth and got hit by shit in return. Well, that's what Technology can do for you, You Nincompoop.. So get going, go home and ask K to teach you, how to use twitter. May be you would be better off in a 140 character format. You can even sign as Phunsukh Wangdu, though I doubt, if anybody would be interested.

The ultimate gem in this whole episode was Chetan's post on New Year's eve. I am reproducing my favorite part - verbatim.

Like I said, I don’t need anything. Even if I have no more movies made on my stories or nobody wants to read my books and columns, I’ll happily join ISKCON and dedicate my life to Krishna. But I will not shy away from the truth – ever.

Chetan Bhagat, I empathize with you !!!

P.S:- I have made a pratigya that as a praayaschit, I will never ever watch a nincompoop and a film editor's story.. Never ever...

P.P.S:- I know, that as a single person, me not watching their movie is not going to make a big difference to them, but it does make a big difference to me, and that's why I am doing it.

P.P.P.S:- I would rather be uncouth and socially unacceptable, rather than be an imbecile and a spineless, who live off plagiarism.

P.P.P.P.S:- My words are harsh ?? Meant to be. !!!!

Monday, February 8, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , , , | 2 comments

Comments (2)

  1. This is without a shred of doubt, your best post buddy!
    Kudos to the sincerity, spontaneity and the vehemence of the post.

  2. @Shiva :- Thanks... !!! My blood still boils... :(

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