Sadist !!!

Wiki defines Sadist as "People who commit acts of Sadism are called sadists", and "Sadism is the derivation of pleasure as a result of inflicting pain or watching pain inflicted on others."

Now that is a compliment that I can claim, I've earned over the years.

I do not believe that I deserve it, rather I believe I've earned it. There may sound a tinge of haughtiness in that statement, but trust me, it is not. Rather, it is the ultimate spirit of indifference that I have been developing since my school days. You may say, 'This is absolutely nothing to be proud of', but no, I am proud of it, especially after all that I've gone through.

Every single person, with whom I've had or am having a working relationship have at one point of time or the other, have told me that I am a 'Sadist', and that includes my parents, my colleagues and of course, My Best Friend, too. I do not know in what way, people decided that I was a sadist, nor do I know, how people decided on the epithet that was to be bestowed upon me.

Initially, to be termed as a sadist when you do not know what the term stood for, was kind of exhilarating. But later, as I grew, and as my vocabulary and outlook (not MicroSoft Outlook :)) expanded, I understood the implication of the epithet. Once the meaning sunk in, I was actually angry. How could somebody label me as a Sadist. How can that happen ? And of all people, to me ? Later, one day, I realised what could have taken me years to understand, if it wasn't for that single spark, how people looked at me.

I am a straight forward person, or rather, you can call me, 'In-Your-Face' person. I tell what I think, 'In Your Face'. That way, I save myself the trouble of trying to be nice to you, when deep inside my heart, I want to hold you by your neck and give you a ChokeSlam!! So, if you think I am being rude, think again !!!

And, when I am being agressive, understand that I take things personal. I consider small things as invasion of my privacy. It could be a very simple thing such as using my mobile phone without my consent, or even replying to someone that I am not at my desk. So, if you feel that I am giving you a piece of my mind, introspect.

There is no such thing as the mid way with me. I am either on this side of the bridge or on the other side. I am not the cat on the wall. I believe in 'An Eye for an Eye' theory. It may leave the entire world blind, but hell, I am not Gandhi, nor do I believe in his principles. I believe in justice and I'd like it then and there. Justice delayed is Justice Denied.

I may have laughed at you, when you suffered. I may have spoken stinging words when you were already suffering, I may have turned you away when you came to me for help, by quoting a trivial incident in which you failed to help me, Trust me, I do not have any regrets..

If all this amounts to being a sadist.. then Hell, I am goddamn proud of it !!!!
And no, I am not going to make peace and forgive you all.

I neither forgive, nor do I forget.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , | 2 comments

Comments (2)

  1. Yaarayo pottu thallanum nu unakku aasai.. ezhudhi theethutta..! :)

  2. Senior.. apdi ellam onnum illa... ezhuthanum nu thonithhu ezhuthinaen... avlo thaan..entha ullkuththo - velikuthotho illa.. :) :P

Leave a Reply