Archive for December 2010

What to do if you have just 72 hours in Singapore ....

Well, imagine this, You decide to go for a holiday and then realise that you do not have 'thaaaaat' much time to look around and shop because the places are all far far away and you don't know the language etc etc, well, here is just what you could do...

Before that, Here are some useful tips.

1.) Get a Map !!! A lot of 'Indian' Tourists make this mistake. They think they could ask people around. Don't ever commit this mistake. Buy a Map. Atleast these days Internet is cheap. Use google maps. Get the layout of the city/place you are gonna be visiting.

2.) At the airport/railway station/bus-stand , when you get down, look around for huge billboards and signs. They are there for you. They'll clearly indicate the mood around the place and also set the tone for your journey. So If you see a shop is offering 60% off on clothes, the visit might just be worth it.

3.) Always have something to eat, handy. Preferably in your backpack or handbag. God Knows when you might land up on a stretch of endless walking and realise you are damn hungry and find that none of the shops around offer you the kind of food that you'd like to have !!! (It happened to me.. :( )

Also another point I'd like to add here, try to find out atleast one item in the local cuisine that you like or would like to try out. In case you do not have any option or your biscuits run out, you can atleast walk into a hotel and ask for the food that you've already tasted. Saves a lot of headache trying to figure out what the dishes might contain by deciphering the names.

4.) Drink puh-lenty of water. It really really helps.

5.) Try to use the local mode of transport. Obviously if a lot of people are using it, it means its quite economical. So quit all your tantrums and better get travelling in that tuk-tuk.

Anyway, coming to the crux of this post, here is what you can do if you have only 72 hours in Singapore...

See the Merlion and the Singapore Flyer first. Make this the first thing in the day, will save a lot of headache and pain in the arse. The Merlion is the mythical lion which is still the identity of Singapore. So if you went to Singapore and did not take a photo by the Merlion, I'll assume you are one of those people who went to Dubaaaai and did not buy Gold.

Once the Merlion is over, (if) you can walk about a kilometre and a half from the bridge, you'll land up at Singapore Flyer. This is Singapore's answer to the Millenium wheel in London. It's definitely not worth the 30 Odd singapore Dollars that you'll be paying. But, the plusses of this whole half an hour sojourn is that they hand you with a small walkie-talkie, which contains various programs which have been pre-loaded. One of them is the Geomancy Aspect of Singapore.

I must tell you, it's AWESOME !!!!

Totally super the way they use Feng-Shui (Pronounced Fooong Shway)to drive in good energy !!!

Once that is done, the next item to see would be the Sun-Tec Towers and the Fountain of Wealth...

Ah.. Have your attention now .. isn't it.. ? :)

The Sun Tec towers themselves have been built using Feng shui Principles and Four of the 5 Sun Tec Towers are shaped like the fingers of our hand. The fifth finger is the Sun-Tec Tower 5 and is shaped like a thumb. These five buildings form the ring at the centre of which is the Fountain of Wealth !!!

Symbolically something similar to Hindu style of portraying gods that shower wealth.

Anyway, for the record this is the world's largest man-made fountain.

Once this is done, it'll be time for some lunch. Have some and then buckle your belts.

It's time for some Shopping.. !!! :) :D

Use your maps and your brain and get to the nearest MRT station. From there, board the Metro to get to ChinaTown.

Once you get down at ChinaTown, do nothing.. The crowd will pull you towards it. And it will be minutes before you land up here....

Once in, its a shopper's paradise. If you are going here with a Lady, BEWARE !!! You are just gonna become penniless !!! 80% of the items are ladies accessories and T-Shirts and some awkward gadgets for men.

What you are seeing is only one side of the market. There exists another lane full of goodies from china on the other side of the road. You'll have to do a walk on the Foot over Bridge to get to the other side.

Once you get to the other side, the whole road is littered with offers. Predominantly it'll be a '3 for $10' deal. You might also chance upon a '4 for $10' deal as well. Better grab the offer when its there. As you walk down that road, you'll come to a Mariamman Temple and if you take the right and walk straight, comes the last stop of the day, the 'Ancient Relic of Buddha Temple'.

If you ask me (and I am an amateur photographer shooting with a Prosumeric Camera) I can spend an entire day shooting photos at this place. It's totally filled with Icons and other stuff that you can take photos with. Its actually a 4 storied building. Cameras are allowed inside except on the 4th floor where the Relic of Buddha is actually present... The relic is the tooth of Buddha. And trust me when you enter that chamber with the chant of

'Budham Sharanam Gachaami.
Dhammam Sharanam Gachaami.
Sangam Sharanam Gachaami.'

echoing silently inside, its a totally different feeling. Immediately you feel at peace and at home. Their terrace is an equally good place. But I loved their Door keepers and the Budha Statue on the Ground Floor. WoW !!! Now that is what I call an awesome imagery.

O.K. - That was Day One. Now Day Two.

Take the MRT to Little India. Walk towards SimLim. SimLim is like Chennai's Ritchie Street. Except that, you get good branded stuff for really dirt cheap prices. You also get clones, but the shopkeepers are honest enough to tell you that it is a clone and comes with only 'this-much' guarantee. The variety is amazing. Every conceivable product in the market is available at this place. If you came to Singapore to throw away money on Gadgets, You gotta throw it away at SimLim. And it will take you more than 3 hours to actually look at all the shops.

Point of advise :- Don't bargain too much. The prices are almost the same in any shop in that complex. If anybody is throwing something at dirt-cheap price then there is definitely a catch. Maybe he is not giving that free laptop bag or that cordless keyboard. Better check.

Finish your lunch in any of the eat-outs near the Little India MRT. And after that, its going to be a long long walk for you. The whole place near the Little India MRT is littered with offers. And guess what ? Its all Indian. So you can get plenty of stuff here. Of course, One Thuglak (Magazine) costs me 9 Rupees in India. It was 2.5 SGD there. So .. :) Choose well.

By the time this is over, you are ready for the last lap. For this evening, You can choose between Orchard Road or Clarke Quay. I suggest Orchard Road. It's an amazing place. Filled with shopping malls.

There are shopping malls on either side of the road, and in the evening, it gets all social. I was there during the start of December and looks like Christmas Celebrations start quite early there. The whole place was bubbling with energy at 7 in the evening. The streets were all lighted up. Offers in every mall. WoW.. Basically A Lot of money to spend :) :D

If you are not soooo tired by the shopping and walking past malls, I suggest you try the night safari. There are many operators who run this service. Get one of their brochures and book them. It's usually from 6:30 in the evening till 10:00 PM in the night. Just perfect for you to have your dinner and fall on your bed.

O.K. Now comes the Third Day. This is your last day in Singapore right ? So what else but shopping !!!

March right away to Mustafa. Now I am not going to hype this part. But yes, it is open 24 hours a day. And if you want to know how big this shop (err.. mall) really is... Seen the likes of Inorbit mall in Hyderabad ?? or say maybe Saravana Stores Brahmaandamaai ??? Its just about twice the size of that. And it contains everything...

E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G !!!

Umbrellas, Nail Polish, Hard disks, mp3 players, Perfumes, anything and everything under the sun, at a cost much much lesser than the outside market.

One thing I noticed they were not good at was 'Branded Clothes'. Their clothes line is totally pathetic. And is outdated. Period. Also, I can some varieties of T-Shirts at about half the price at which I am buying from Mustafa. So you can do some calculations. BTW, remember the old lady next door, suffering from rheumatic pain, get some Tiger Balms for her, 4 for 10SGD. :) :D

By the time you finish this Mustafa, (assuming you are not stopping at every section in every floor), it will around 2:30. (Assuming you start at 8 in the morning. Actually even this is not enough. :P).

Post this, have your lunch in the hotels nearby and head to Bugis street. The largest Street shopping area in Singapore. Ever heard of a term called 'throw-away' prices ? Well, This street is an example. I got handbags (good quality ones, mind you) for 9 SGD (well, don't strain yourself, its about 280 INR. The same would have easily cost me 700-800 Bucks in any shop back home). Offers are all on everywhere. This is one place, I'd term as the 'Ranganathan Street of Singapore'

With that your trip too comes to a close. Have a great dinner and board the flight back home.

Some of you might be wondering why I never mentioned the Jurong Bird Park (or) The Singapore Zoo (or) Sentosa Island etc... Basically these things take atleast one full day. And some may or maynot be interested. If you are really keen, do check out the above mentioned places. They are world class. Apart from this, there are the museums and Kopitiams (They call Coffee as Kopi - Basically Coffee Houses where everything under the sun is served.) I can sit an entire day in a Kopitiam doing nothing and then come back again the next day to sit. :) Its so wonderful to see the crowd and the people thronging the Kopitiams...

Enjoy yourself in Singapore la !!!! :) :D

P.S:- Am planning to post my best Singapore Pics in a separate post... Till then...
Bye la .. !! :) :D

Saturday, December 25, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , | 6 comments

Getting Tagged - 10::1

Well, I was tagged by one of my blogger friends... Hence here is the result...

Ten how’s:
1. How did you get one of your scars? I fell down while trying to do a balancing act. Nasty scar. Required 5 stitches. Did leave a big psychological scar.
2. How did you celebrate your last birthday? Pretty silently. Nobody's bothered. So am I.. :)
3. How are you feeling at this moment? Relaxed.
4. How did your night go last night? Pretty much disturbed, with bouts of coughing.
5. How did you do in high school? Was one of the best.
6. How did you get the shirt you’re wearing? One of my relatives got it for me. From Phaaren.
7. How often do you see your best friend(s)? Come February and it will be a year.
8. How much money did you spend last month? Hmmm.. actually quite less.. :P
9. How old do you want to be when you get married? I do not wanna get married. Period.
10. How old will you be at your next birthday? Next_Age=Current_Age + 1

Nine what’s:
1. Your mother's name? She might be reading this and prefer to remain anonymous. :)
2. What did you do last weekend? Li'l bit of shopping, sleeping and surfing. (that's 3 S's)
3. What is the most important part of your life? My quest for esoteric knowledge and my blog.
4. What would you rather be doing? Blogging is a passion.
5. What did you last cry over? That was actually a long time ago. Don't even want to discuss it.. :)
6. What always makes you feel better when you’re upset? Blogging and Reading
7. What’s the most important thing you look for in a significant other? Jab Baans hi nahin rahega toh baansuri kya bajegi...
8. What are you worried about? Right now.. ?? Nothing.
9. What did you have for breakfast? 2G of Lukewarm water. (Sorry for the pun)

Eight Have you-s:
1. Have you ever liked someone who had a girlfriend/boyfriend? Yeah... Still do.. :P
Heck... As long as they are not aware of it.. Fine with me.. :P

2. Have you ever had your heartbroken? Yes
3. Have you ever been out of the country? Yes
4. Have you ever done something outrageously dumb? To the best of my memory, No actually.
5. Have you ever been back stabbed by a friend? Puh-lenty.
6. Have you ever had sex on the beach ? Ahem.. Prefer not to answer that question :P :)
7. Have you ever dated someone younger than you? No Dates. No confusions.
8. Have you ever read an entire book in one day? Yes.

Seven who’s:
1. Who was the last person you saw? The maid who washes our clothes.
2. Who was the last person you texted? V
3. Who was the last person you hung out with? My roomie B.
4. Who was the last person to call you? My Mom.. Couple of minutes back. :P
5. Who did you last hug? Can't remember
6. Who is the last person who texted you? Airtel's Promotions department.
7. Who was the last person you said “I love you” to? Intha questiona kandippa Answer pannanuma ? :P :D

Six where’s:
1. Where does your best friend(s) live? In a city that I hate to be identified with, Chennai.
2. Where did you last go? To a medical clinic
3. Where did you last hang out? Brand Factory
4. Where do you go to school? Coonoor and Chennai.
5. Where is your favorite place to be? H.Y.D.E.R.A.B.A.D Period.
6. Where did you sleep last night? In my bed. And Before you start conjecturing - alone.

Five do’s:
1. Do you think anyone likes you? Nah !!! They are too busy doing other things. :P
2. Do you ever wish you were someone else? Being born as Hari is perhaps the next thing to being God... So no !!!
3. Do you know the muffin man? Err... No.
4. Does the future scare you? I'd be lying if I said No. But sometimes it does make feel look forward to it as well.
5. Do your parents know about your blog? Yes.. But they don't read it that much.. so NP. :)
Four why’s:
1. Why are you best friends with your best friend? Athu oru Periya Katha.. innoru Naalu solraene...
2. Why did you get into Blogging? To be honest, to have a site with your name on it. :)
3. Why did your parents give you the name you have? It was different. And set a separate class of its own.
4. Why are you doing this survey? Because I felt like doing it :)

Three if’s:
1. If you could have one super power what would it be? Past Life Regression ? :P
2. If you could go back in time and change one thing, would you? Yes.
3. If you were stranded on a deserted island and could bring 1 thing, what would you bring? A Laptop with a superfast wifi - (free) internet connection and a perpetual battery backup for the laptop.. :P

Two would-you-ever’s:
1. Would you ever get back together with any of your ex’s if they asked you? Sounds Interesting... But no, thanks. !!! :)
2. Would you ever shave your head to save someone you love? Yes.

One last question:
1. Are you happy with your life right now? Am living the Dream .. !!!!

Tagging all those who are bound to read it.. :)
Merry christmas

by Hari
Categories: , , | 3 comments

WE are afraid of Pamela's Boobs !!!

This is in response to a post by Shobhaa De (Dated 21st November) titled, Who’s afraid of Pamela’s Boobs ?

First of all my apologies for a late reaction to this post. Apparently my Google Reader Feeds weren’t working that effectively.

O.K. Let me begin by answering to your question itself.

We Are. Note the tense and collective noun. WE ARE !!!

Now comes the next question that is obviously pronounced with a lot of mirth …

‘Why ?’

Well the reasons are so very clear, aren’t they Shobhaa Ma’m.
(Did I get the extra ‘a’ right ?)

“Perhaps, it is the arrival of Bazooka Pam that prompted the Indian government to suddenly wake up to the ‘X- Rated’ content of some shows and clamp a few meaningless restrictions on them. By pushing back the slots of shows that beam ‘objectional and vulgar’ content to 11pm, some prudish babus must be patting themselves on the back for saving the country from moral degradation. Give us a break, fellas.”

Well, this para was exactly what prompted me to write this post. It was not because of the ‘Bared Breasts’ and Pamela Anderson that this regulation was brought about but because there was a growing irritation on part of the Parents in the country on the kind of content that was being aired. We do not want to see Ashmit and Veena Mallik coochi-cooing on National Television at Prime Time. If you are seriously so interested (and perverted) in watching it, watch it at 11. What’s your problem ?

Is your problem that they are shifting the timing from 9 to 11 or is your anger on the fact that I&B are trying to moral-police you ? Well I am surprised, that you being a Marathi, are not talking about Shiv Sena or MNS when talking about Moral Policing ?? And what I am more surprised is, how come the Shiv Sena and MNS tolerate your books ? Do they even deserve to be on shelves ? GOK.

And about these programs that you mention. Yes !!! We want them all to be banned. But look what happened. God knows how much money was involved in this, but somehow the concerned people have got a stay in court against the directive. Obviously ‘Paisa Bolta Hai’. Such a heavy money generating machinery, Why kill the goose that lays golden eggs ? They’ve got the program back in the same slot. We can see Veena and Sara flirting with Ashmit and at the same time there is no dearth of ‘Maa-Ki-‘ or ‘Behen-C****’ on the show, now that Dolly Bindra is back.

“In which middle class Indian family are the bachchas packed off to bed at 7pm after supper at 6pm? Television time largely remains unmonitored and unrestricted. It is considered bonding time. Families that watch heaving bosoms and hectic pelvic thrusts together, stay together. Big deal. What kids watch (or aren’t supposed to) ought to be the parents’ and not the government’s responsibility. Going by this new ‘Adults Only’ ruling, what about commercial Hindi films that feature the most provocative ‘item songs’ and are peppered with abuses with actors screaming ‘Bastard’ routinely? Kids watch those and worse… so why the double standards? One set of rules for television programming, another for cinema?”

As much as Pamela’s boobs are her best friends, Sweetheart, Children of the middle class do go to bed, if not at 7 PM, atleast at 9PM. And I am not sure what kind of kids live in Mumbai or what kind of life is lived there, but in other parts of India, this is the norm. So if you are not aware of such lives or of people who live like this, please do not make generalizations. And yes, TV Time ‘WAS’ considered as bonding time. Now it is ‘Entertainment time’.

Parents switch on Soaps to see the Mother-In-Law and her Daughter-In-Law pregnant at the same time, the only scandalous thing being, the Mother-In-Law’s pregnancy is not because of her husband but because of her Daughter-In-Law’s father. Sick hunh ??? Welcome to the ‘Desi Version of Bold and the Beautiful’ !!! And what’s with this naara Adults Only ruling ? Why not ?

Yes, those pelvic thrusts are not something that we wish to see on screen. As much as we hate seeing ‘Munni’ getting badnaam, we also hate to see Sheila ki Jawaani (Shit, that sounded like some B-Grade Porn movie). So you get the picture De Ma’m ? We demand censorship on TV as well, and as much as you might hate it, It will come into place.

Ma’m, Our society is not schizophrenic and confused, but maybe you are. There is a big difference between seeing details of the Ruchika Molestation case on TV and Sheila Ki Jawaani (with Katrina showing off her curves and the Shakira Shake with elan). One is News. The other is plain ‘soft-porn’. So please get the differentiation right. We are not here to conduct a ‘trial-by-media’ for Ruchika and in the end, end up performing a character assasination. Let the Judiciary and social media take care of that.
“The ultimate power remains in the hands of viewers. The person who holds the remote control, is the sole decision maker as to what is acceptable viewing and what isn’t”

I beg to differ here. As much as I am advocate for ‘Free-World’ and ‘Freedom of Expression’ I suggest you hand over your passport and move to a country where there is no such restriction. Good Luck if you find one. You are in a democratic state that perhaps provides the most leniency than any other state in the world. And about that part where you want to take the call on whether you wish to ogle or not, or whether you wish to listen to Ms. Sawant, I suggest you watch if off Youtube. At leisure. You can watch it whenever you want and nobody’s moral-policing you, on the Internet.

And no, ‘Live telecast of Parliamentary Proceedings’ does not constitute actual Pornography, but your books – definitely fall under Soft Porn.

Saturday, December 18, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , | 1 comment

Break Ke Baad - Pretty Good !!!

I watched ‘Break-Ke-Baad’ almost entirely on my new N5 PMP and I am making my opinion Loud and Clear – This movie is AWESOME !!!

I don’t care how or why the media is trashing this movie, but this is one of the most refreshingly fresh movies that I have seen in this year. And this movie is definitely far more sensible in that ‘shirt-ripping-itself-off’ movie from ‘oh-i-love-to-show-off-my-bare-body’ hero earlier this year. (semma Comedy saar neenga)

First of all, hats off to Deepika to have finally chosen a good character role for herself. This role had potential and she proved it. As Aaliya Khan, the spoilt daughter of a cine star (played by Sharmila Tagore), she snatches the limelight from Imran Khan. I loved her sense of style, the way she wore her clothes. The way she mouths her dialogues. She has literally lived her role in that movie.

The story line is too good. This happens with almost every other couple in these days and its nice to see Danish take this on in a totally sensible manner. The screenplay could have been a little more taut. And a little more funnier dialogues here and there would have helped the movie a lot. Imran Khan has matured, but not enough. He needs to choose more manly roles. He cannot bank on his JTYJN role for all his life.

Not impressed with the background score and music. Maybe that could have clinched the movie the ‘Blockbuster’ title.

For me, this movie is one of this year’s best romantic movies.
Don’t miss it. !!!

P.S:- DP is super cool in this movie.

by Hari
Categories: , , , | 2 comments

The IT Vote Bank !!!

Well Well Well, the Dynasty Family's Power Hungry Patriarch is really really worried..

The reason being ...

Every time the elections are around the corner, Loyola College conducts a [useless]'survey'.[Basically the whole survey is an eyewash (according to me)]. And somehow what I find ridiculously funny is that how come Loyola College does not perform a survey on the 'effectiveness of governance' or 'how happy are the people with the govt.' etc.. ?? Obviously the Ruling Party is not giving them enough money for all this I suppose.

One Daadi-Mama will come during Election time and 'announce' the results of the survey with such intensity and seriousness that one would think that he is the Governor and is calling upon the Majority Party to form the government. And these surveys are usually soooooo hyped. And of course, lopsided.

Anyway coming back to the point,
This year (because the TN elections are due next year) the survey was conducted and the rumor has it that the Ruling Party has been totally displeased with the results.

The results are totally against the Ruling Party and has clearly predicted that this might be the last term that the Patriarch might be holding. [alive].

The survey is rumored to have disclosed the fact that the Municipalities and the Urban Areas of Tamil Nadu are totally displeased with the Ruling Party's functioning and the scams that they have caused and are hell bent on showing them the door.

As for the villages, they are still floating on the 'color' dreams that they showed them in the last election. Apparently they are still strong on the rural front. Of course they will be. Rationalists aren't they ??

As a result of which the Patriarch has had to don his thinking cap [forget the fact that his shiny head reflects off any common sense or rationalism or good will directed at him] and has devised some absolutely marvelous, fantabulous and mind-fuck schemes to lure the voters. And these are as follows ...

1.) Government will be constructing 'Bachelor-Accommodations' on the Tambaram-Madurantakam stretch. This is to ensure that the hard(ly) working Software Engineers can be closer to office and work even hard(ly). These accommodations will be constructed block-by-block. Booking will be done on a random basis by picking out of a lot.

For your names to be included in the pot, you will have to have the following qualifications ....

1.) You should be able to recite atleast half of Kuraloviyam or Ponnar-Sankar.
2.) You should be able to eloquently speak the dialogues of Manohara and Parasakthi, just like the way Sivaji Ganesan did. Especially the 'ஓடினேன் ஓடினேன் ...வாழ்கையின் ஓரத்திற்கே ஓடினேன் !!!' part. It has to be convincing.
3.) You should be a member in the Youth Wing of the party which is headed by the 60 year old Patriach's son.
4.) You should be a henchman or a goon or a hire-for-kill hitman and have 'pottufied' atleast 3 people for the party.
5.) You should have contributed atleast 3 lakhs for 'upliftment' of the party.
6.) You should be a staunch 'rationalist' who wears a yellow towel and poops on Paapan's in the state.

If you do not have any of the criterias ... never mind, you can afford to wait for another 10 years.

The apartment blocks will be constructed using Hollow Blocks. They are easy to pile on and cement and will be even easier for the Corporation Bulldozers to bring them down in case Subramanian Swamy raises this is SC and SC objects to this. You see we think long term.

Each block will have its own TASMAC shop and outsiders will not be given first preference.

2.) Half the current population in Chennai is made up of Software Engineers. Almost 75% of these Software Engineers are working in 'remote-locations' [read villages about 60 kms away from 'The City'] and hence spend a lot of time travelling. He has calculated the average time in bus/train to be approximately 2.5 hours everyday. The best way to cover this vote bank is ...

'Free iPod !!!'

O.K. Don't start dreaming. He is quoting logistics and is saying that it will not be possible to provide people with 80GB iPod Classics and all. So it will be a 1GB iPood.

Yes. You read that right. It will be an iPood. A Fake China Made imitation that costs only about Rs.100. So What ??? You are getting your share of entertainment for free.. right ???

Also comes bundled with the iPood is the audio version of Kuraloviyam, Ponnar Sankar and of course a collection of best dialogues from Parasakthi. These are perhaps his only worthy contributions in his literary career spanning 7 decades. (A pity, isn't it). If you start protesting, we will ensure that we also bundle it in his voice. If that scares you, you'd better don't protest.

And of course it will look like this...

3.) Also because these Software Engineers travel a lot, it is necessary for them to cut the costs of travel. Hence the Government will offer Software Engineers with
F R E E B U S & T R A I N PA S S E S

The passes can be used anywhere in Chennai, right from Avadi to Tirumalpur !!!
You can get on any bus (except AC) anywhere and get off anywhere.
No Questions asked !!!

If anybody questions, just show them the pass. The Pass will be issued to the Software Engineers at their own company premises on the submission of a xerox copy of their ID Cards and a 200 word article in Tamizh on 'Why they think the current Ruling Party will win the elections'.

This offer is valid only for Software Engineers who have taken Tamizh as their Second Language in Plus Two.

Needless to stay, North Indians who don't have a Tamil Nadu Voter ID Card are not eligible for this offer.

4.) All land registered by Software Engineers south of Tambaram within one month from the date of posting of this blog-post will be waived off the registration fee. Basically since you will be buying the land from us,
[technically speaking, those contractors and agencies are none other than our binaamis and all the land south of Tambaram is owned by henchmen and goondas who are 'sons-of-the-party' and 'udanpirappukal'],
it is only fitting that we give you some discount, and also you are giving us a wonderful opportunity to convert all our black money into white money at no-extra cost. This is the least we can do to be grateful.

5.) All the bus and train passes issued will contain an extra page with a row for every day of the month. This is basically to ensure that all software engineers should have a life. Are you wondering how adding an extra page will give these SE's life ??

Basically this additional page gives the Software Engineers another chance to become the true 'kudimagans' of Tamil Nadu. What this extra page does is, offer you
'One Quarter' at TASMAC for FREE !!!
... Yes.. You read that right. I repeat ....
'One Quarter at TASMAC for FREE '
This will ensure that all Software Engineers have a life. The extra page with a row is to ensure that not more than one quarter per person is given. Also Police would be given strict orders, not the catch hold of Software Engineers who are caught driving when drunk. They will be exempted when they show their TASMAC page on the pass and their ID as proof.

Apart from these the Patriarch has also thought of some other superb schemes, which will be published shortly.

Sunday, December 12, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , | 1 comment

What Women Want .. Duh !!!!

This is in response to the post here.

Dear Sheeba,

This is in response to the above linked post. Though I perfectly understand your agony (and your desperation) here is what (as a guy) I think of your Bullet Points.

Love ??

God !!! Women, you never understand us men don't you... We don't want love. Only lust. We lech, We ogle, We look at women on the sly. That's what you think, isn't it ?

Girlie, Go get a life.
There is a lot more to life than trying to pee on men.

You have to express your love in some way and you have to express as often as you can.
And the best part of the above statement is.. The more you 'express-your-love' the higher will be your Archies Bill or 'XXX spa' Receipt. So quit, expecting to be pampered. You are an adult and expect to be treated like one.

And yes, My 77th Girlfriend left me because I loved her too much. Now, that's too much to ask for.. isn't it ??

Space ??

We don't really care about 'your' space, isn't it ?? Oh Yeah. You are so so right. My 34th Girlfriend left me because I gave her 'too-much-space'. She was a feng-shui (pronounce it as foong-shway) expert and she said 'all-space-and-no-boy-friend' makes her chi (pronounce qi) go crazy. (Stupid girl. Must have been her PMS or something acting up ).

And about spending some time in silence, we as men love that silence when women come out with us on shopping trips. WoW !! Just imagine having a woman at your side and spending countless 'hours' of shopping with her being all quiet. Must be quite some shopping eh ??

Respect ??

What is that ?? No I seriously want to know what you mean by

Women want their emotions and their personal expectations be given proper respect. Respect their demands, needs, and expectations; some are obvious, some are not.
All those men out there, leading a simple-happy life are treating their girl like trash. In fact my 27th Girlfriend left me because I treated her like some maid. But the point to be noted here was that my 64th girlfriend, when she broke up with me, said, that my wife would be very lucky to get a guy who respects her so much.

I really don't know what to say here..

Commitment ???

That's hara-kiri for men and most men piss in their pants when they hear this word.

Women are very serious about this if men are not !!! Dud(ettes) get over yourselves. You are not the only people 'pawning' your entire lives in a relationship. Men do too. And in fact its far more difficult for men to commit. There are a number of other factors. We shall discuss them at this blog later. It is because of this 'oh-I-"invested"-so-much-time-on-you' and other such idiotic principles that women tend to get emotionally disturbed when the guy deflects the commitment-pinball.

It is also one of the top reasons because of which most women get dumped
No No No !! And a vehement No Once again !!!
My 7th girlfriend dumped me because I wanted a commitment and she did not. Last I heard, she married an Oracle DBA [for those of you who did not get the joke... Err.. Never mind.. forget it]

Time ??

Women want men to spend quality and quantity time with them.
No we prefer spending time watching Bay-Watch and drinking cans and cans of beer. Whatever is the statement above supposed to mean. What exactly do you mean when you say quality and quantity ? Spending seven hours with my 87th girlfriend left me such a pain in my er... calves that my friend suggested that I get my girlfriend booked under of 'Prevention-Of-Cruelty-To-Animals' act.

Girlies Think again. If I find my laptop more interesting and important than you, then there is something in that laptop which you lack. As simple as that. So find that elusive XXX formula (in fact XXX itself might be the formula.. Er.. Oops..I forgot.. this is a family blog) and 'Win-your-man-back'.

Entertainment ??

You want Entertainment ?? from Men ?? Are you sick/insane/crazy/**** [fill up your choicest abuse here] What do you think Men are ?? 'Packaged-Soap-Operas' that wear Peter-England Shirts ?? Seriously WTF ??

Women love holding their man’s hand in a beach
That's not love sweetheart. That's protectionism.

You want the babes around to see the 'He's Taken' sign clearly.
We call this as 'Territorial-Marking' in the animal kingdom.

Candle light dinners are great. Women love shopping, eating chocolates and going to movies.
I agree. My 43rd girlfriend loved Candle light dinners. When I finally filed for bankruptcy, she dumped me and joined as a waitress in one of the restaurants we used to eat our Candle Light dinners. Last heard, she spilled a lot of candle-wax on a beautiful 26 year old bride. [Jealousy - I say]

And yes, Men love shopping too. We too love eating chocolates and going out to movies.
And Of course, our tastes are different.

Consideration: ??

Oh No !!! We don't consider you as a human being itself. You don't even exist for us. We don't bother ourselves with lesser beings..

All they need is a little consideration.
A Little sweetheart ??? Are you really serious ???
You give them some, and they come after you like a pack of wolves. And when you have none left, you are torn to shreds. My 12th, 17th and 26th girlfriends left me because I showed too much consideration. One tried to book me under 'Stalking' !!!

Sex ...

Ahem !!! Though I wish to blog pages on this stuff and distribute a lot of 'gyaan' to the female community, I am not doing it on a number of grounds. Anyway, I am just posting the gist of what I wanted to tell here, crisply.

Women, Agreed that scientific research says most men think about it almost all the time. But don't think we are thinking about it when we are watching Cricket or F1. Nor are we thinking about it, when we attend company meetings. No !!! We are not thinking about it when we have lunch with our colleagues and nor are we thinking about it when we return home tired in that bus. We do not think it is the be-all and end-all of life. I would 'request' you to stop thinking that we think it is the be-all and end-all of life.

In fact my 6th girlfriend... Er.. Never mind.. Some other time...

Last, but not the least..
There is life beyond Bucket Lists.. Live it !! And stop reading such non-sensical crap !!!

P.S:- To all those ladies who visit this blog and this post. Truly NOM. But stop typecasting men. The world has grown beyond

short a=2000;
b = ( int ) a

Er.. That was a PJ... If you are non-technical, forget it.

P.P.S:- Though I've spoken in defence of men here, a lot of points are still applicable to men. So before you forward this and make it a mail-chain, think about it.

P.P.P.S:- FB's [Feministic B - Er.. You know what the B stands for]. Just because I mentioned so many girlfriends does not mean I don't have a life or something. I have a life, its larger than yours, and Am living the dream. And about the language, the day the word MCP is abolished from existence I would refrain from using this word. So long B****** !!!

P.P.P.P.S:- And all those imaginary girlfriends.. Love you all.. Muaahh !!!!

Monday, December 6, 2010 by Hari
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10G Raja ...

Given below are 10 words. These words have different meanings in different contexts,
Atleast for the Former Telecommunications Minister - Mr. Aandimuthu Raaja

You may or may not have known them ...

10.) Nilgiri - Constituency during Elections. Hill Station during Summer. Place to be forgotten for the rest of the time.

9.) Cabinet - Bunch of like minded buggers who don't stand up for you when you are in deep shit.

8.) Prime Minister - Dummy Piece.

7.) DMK - High Command. Orders from here should never be discarded even if they meant a lifetime of shame and jail.

6.) Maran - Anathema. The bugger set high standards (in corruption) forcing me to live up to the Party's expectations. Doesn't the party know I am a fresher ??

5.) Kapil Sibal - Drohi. He should have said 'No' when they offered him. Looks like everybody was after my portfolio only. Selfish Heartless creatures !!! I did give all of them a share of the cake right ?? Next time, nothing for anybody.

4.) Kanimozhi - Softest Corner of my heart is reserved for her. I wonder when she will reciprocate. Cha.. Women are always like this wonly.
[ Am quoting Radia Tapes here]

3.) Ministry - To Fool around. Otherwise why would people elect me to that post.

2.) CAG - Clever fellows. They found out !!! Must plug this leak with the next amendment.

1.) Radia - The cheese which lured me into the trap.

2G - One Big Headache !!!

ஆண்டிமுத்து நல்லா ஆட்டையை போட்டுடான்யா !!!

Saturday, December 4, 2010 by Hari
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New Template !!!!

Well Well Well... this is definitely going to be a first.. !! :)

I have changed the template of my blog for the second time in 3 months. That's a first first for a start.

Second, There are no more distracting widgets begging for your attention. I've moved them all down.

Have removed most of the unnecessary widges and other scripts that made the Page Load slower.

More importantly, my blog has got ranked 69 in Indiblogger. This the first ranking that I am getting and am quite happy with the results. Hoping to better the results in the coming months.

This template is the TypoMinima from Blogsessive. They've got an amazing collection of blogger templates. Actually this template was custom made for Wordpress, but later modified to suit Blogger as well. And its a pretty recent one too. :P

The last release happened on November first and it will quite some time before this template becomes a rage :P :)

There is one small known issue though.. Tamil Post Headers are not appearing at all.. The content is well presented but except for the Header. Have raised it in the concerned forums. So Let's wait and watch ...

So.. Keeping my fingers crossed.

Please do let me know what you think of the template and suggest if there are any changes.

Friday, December 3, 2010 by Hari
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IndiLeaks !!!

Inspired by this TOI Article.. Here I come up with my own list ...

First for Tamil Nadu, then for India.

Tamil Nadu :-

1.) What Happened in Tamil Nadu Assembly on that Fateful day of 25th March 1989 ?. It seriously sucks to actually have missed one single over in a cricket match and then you get to know from your friends that it was a Game-Changer. Shit !!!

2.) What are the industries/ventures in which Sun Network DOES NOT have a connection or investment in ? (I would be really be proud if the Ambica Dosa Mix that is readily available in Cheta's shop is not from one of their 'many-times-removed-sister' concerns ..

3.) When will the Current Deputy Chief Minister of TamilNadu, resign from his post of 'Youth Movement'. Please tell him that on his 'Satabhishekham' (80th Birthday), I, (Er.. He too..) will become ineligible to be in Youth Wing.

4.) When will the current Chief Minister abdicate ? (This is a million dollar question.. And you might succeed in getting a small share from the 1.76 Lakh Crore that they just pocketed, if you manage to answer this Question)

5.) What exactly happened on that night of 30th June 2001. We want an unbiased, un-'suntv'-ised version of that incident please. And seriously no computer-graphics please !!!

6.) Was the sting operation on Nityananda pre-planned or out-of-vendetta because the Swami did not give the land Sun TV Wanted ? And was Ranjitha fully aware of the consequences of this nauseating 'See-This-Fraud-Saamiyaar' sting operation ? And Why wasn't any action taken or case booked against Sun-Tv for showing semi-porn during Prime Time ?

7.) Who actually killed SankarRaman ? And what was the drama behind the whole Kanchi Seer episode ? Can we get to see some actual Good Quality Videos please ?

8.) Now that the current chief minister of Tamil Nadu has released a press-release like this, I would seriously like to know the whole net-worth of the Nidhis' (pun intended) including all organisations and 'brother' concerns that they run.

9.) What exactly happened on the 12th of January 1967 between MGR and M.R.Radha ?

10.) Did they really kill Veerappan ? Can we have more details and approval documents signed by the Chief Minister at that time ?

11.) What exactly was the commission did the Then Mayor of Chennai pocket during the 'flyover season' ? Can we have a break-up please ? (Er.. I meant the list. Not the flyover)

12.) What happened to TANSI, DisProportionate Wealth Case, Vineyard Case, Pleasant Stay Cases ? [ the last one notably being the foremath of Dharmapuri Bus Burning Incident, for which recently judgement was awarded ]

13.) Does Subramanian Swamy have a life ?

Last but not the least ... When will Rajinikanth come to Power ? :P

India :-

1.) What exactly happened in the RSS and BJP Camps on the night of 5th December 1992 ? Who spoke what and what was decided ?

2.) Why did Ram Jethmalani take up Manu Sharma v/s Jessica Lal case, after he had clearly put up a board that he did not want to be disturbed for cases ? And what exactly was the obligation he owed to the Ramani's in this regard [as in a statement made by him 'The Devil's advocate']

3.) Can we have the break-up of the profits [ as in , who got what and how was it decided, and to which bank account was it transferred ] of the following scams :-

Fodder Scam
Bofors Scam
Stamp Paper Scam
Hawala Scam [ as a bonus, you can make public the content of the Jain Diaries as well]
2G spectrum Scam
just to name some of them ...

4.) Exactly what was Nehru having in his mind, when he said Hindi-Cheeni Bhai Bhai ?

5.) What happened to Lalit Modi [where is he hiding right now] and Suresh Kalmadi [ is he still in China ?] and what happened to all that supposed Audit on IPL records ? Gone down the drain ??

Most of the other questions that I wished to ask were already asked in that TOI article.

But most important question of all...

When will the Prime Minister of the Nation, Dr. ManmohanSingh stand up [for himself and for the nation ?]

Thursday, December 2, 2010 by Hari
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