Archive for November 2010

செருப்பு का லட்சணம்... !!!

பெண்களை வகை படுத்தும் ஒரு முக்கியமான சாஸ்திரம் - சாமுத்ரிக்கா லட்சணம் !!

இந்த சந்த்ரிகாவயே .. சாரி சாமுத்ரிகாவயே மிஞ்சுகிற அளவுக்கு... அண்ணேன்.. புதுசா ஒரு சாஸ்திரம் கண்டு பிடிச்சு இருக்கேன்...

அது தான் செருப்பு கா சாஸ்திரம் !!!!

என்னது பெயர் வித்தியாசமா இருக்கேன்னு பார்கறீங்களா ?? இப்போவெல்லாம் இந்த மாதிரி பியுஷன் பெயர் வெச்சா தாங்க வடை நாட்டு... சாரி.. வட நாட்டு கிளிகள் எல்லாம் இம்ப்ரெஸ் ஆகுதுன்ன நான் கேள்வி பட்டேன்... அதுனால தாங்க இந்த புதிய முயற்சி !!!

Many 'Analysts' have given us different explanation on the Types of Women. Given below is a common analysis of what is the 'accepted' list of the types of women.

Party girl
High maintenance
Psycho
Dullard
Housecat
Housewife
Caterer
Stalker
Religious
The Boss

இதெல்லாம் நமக்கு தெரிஞ்ச லிஸ்டு தான் பாஸ்... இதுல என்ன புதுசுன்னு தானே கேட்கறீங்க ...

Now that we've done this analysis, wouldn't it be nice if you could simply identify each type the moment you saw them ???

Ah !!! Is that an eyebrow raising.. ?? Hold On .. !!

How would it be if you could identify each type and not actually have to look at them to categorise... ???

Interested ??? :P Read on !!!

நம்ம ஊரிலியே அதிகமா பிகர்கள் வந்துட்டு போகுது கோயிலுக்கு தாங்க... நம்ம பசங்க எல்லாரும் கரெக்டா செவ்வாய்-வெள்ளி சாயங்காலம் க்யுல ஜாயின் பண்ணிடுவாங்க...

ஆனா அங்கேயும் நம்ம பசங்களுக்கு மிஞ்சுறது ஏமாற்றம் தான் ... இதுனால பசங்களுக்கு உண்டாகர மன உளைச்சல என்னால பார்த்திகிட்டு இருக்க முடியளுங்க ... அதுநாலா , நான் ஒரு முடிவுக்கு வந்துட்டேன் ...

கோவில் குள்ள என்டர் பன்னாமயே .. உள்ள நல்ல பிகர்கள் இருக்கா ... அந்த பிகர் எந்த கேடேகோரி ... இப்படி பல விஷயங்கள... நம்ம கண்டு பிடிக்கலாம்....

எப்படி பாஸ் இதெல்லாம்னு தானே கேட்கறீங்க ?? .. பாஸ்... யாம் பெற்ற இன்பம் பெறட்டும் இவ்வையகம் ... !!!

கோயிலுக்கு உள்ள போகாமலயே வா ?? பிகர பார்க்காமலே... அத ரேட் பண்றதா ? எப்படிங்க அது முடியும்னு தானே கேட்கறீங்க...?

சேரி... மேட்டருக்கு வருவோம் ...
கோயிலுக்கு வெளில என்னங்க இருக்கும் ??

பூ கடை, தேங்கா கடை, பக்தி கேசட் கடை அப்படின்னு நீங்க ட்ராக் மாறரதுக்கு முன்னாடியே நானே போட்டு ஓடசிடுறேன் ..

செருப்ப வெச்சு தாங்க...

அட.. என்னங்க இப்படி கேவலமான ரீஅக்ஷன் குடுக்கறீங்க ... நெஜமா தாங்க சொல்றேன்... பிகரோட செருப்ப வெச்சு ... அத ரேட் பண்ண முடியும்... அந்த செருப்பால அடி வாங்காம தப்பிக்கவும் முடியும்....

செருப்ப வெச்சு எப்படி இதெல்லாம் கண்டிபிடிகறது ...
அட... சொல்றேன்பா... பொறுமை ...


கீழ் கண்ட அட்டவனையை பார்த்து ... பிகரின் கடகரியை முடிவு செய்து கொள்ளவும் ...

















இந்த மாதிரி செருப்ப பார்த்தா...சுமாரான பொண்ணு . அவளுக்கு எதுலயுமே interest இல்ல. யவனும் அவல கவனிக்க மாட்டான்னு ஒரு விதமான காம்ப்ளெக்ஸ். அதுனால அவளும் அதிகமா கவனம் செலுத்த மாட்டா. இந்த மாதிரி பிகர பிக் அப் பண்ணா ... நீங்க ஆசை படரா மாதிரி எல்லாம் நடந்துக்க மாட்டாள்... உஷார் !!!
இந்த கேடேகோரி பொண்ணுகளுக்கு ஸ்டைல்னா என்னனே தெரியாது ... நீங்க இவள கடைக்கு கூட்டிகிட்டு பொய் .. ஸ்டைலா எதாவது எடுத்துக்கோ அப்டின்னு சொன்னீங்கன்ன ... அவ மொக்கையா இருக்கிற ஒரு சுடிதார செலக்ட் பண்ணுவா... இந்த பிகுற வெளில கூட்டிகிட்டு பொய் சீன போட முடியாது.... ரிஜக்ட் !!!
இந்த மாதிரி பிகர் தாங்க நாடு முழுவதும்... சாதாரணம்... ஒரு ஆடம்பரமும் இல்லாம... அழகுன்னு சொல்ல முடியாது ... ஆனா எல்லா எடத்துலயும் பார்க்கலாம்... அந்த பஸ் ஸ்டாப்ல ஒரு பொண்ண பார்த்தேன் .. அப்பறம் அதே மாதிரி ஒரு பொண்ண கோயில்ல பார்த்தேன்னு உங்க பிரெண்ட்ஸ் சொல்லி கேள்வி பட்டிருபீங்க... காகா மாதிரி... Nothing Special!!!
இது கொஞ்சம் வசதியா இருக்கிற பொண்ணு. அப்பா செல்லம். அப்பா எது கேட்டாலும் வாங்கி குடுதிடுவாறு. இவங்க வார வாரம் கரெக்டா ரெங்கநாதன் தெரு போய் ஷாப்பிங் பண்ணிட்டு வந்திடுவாங்க... இவள பிக் அப் பண்ணீங்கன்னா நீங்க கிரெடிட் கார்டு பில்லு தான் அதிகமா கட்டுவீங்க... போண்டி !!!
இது கொஞ்சம் எக்ஸ்ட்ரா ஹை க்லாசுங்கோ ... அப்பன் பணத்த தண்ணி மாதிரி செலவு செய்யிற பார்ட்டி ... இத பிக் அப் பண்ணீங்க... நல்லி, குமரன், பிரம்மாண்டமாய் எல்லாம் போகாம... நாய்டு ஹால் ல தான் இருப்பீங்க... திவால் !!!
இந்த மாதிரி பிகருக்கு நல்ல டேஸ்ட்டு உண்டு . எதையுமே ஸ்டைலா செய்யனும்ன்னு ஆசை படுவா.. காசு கம்மியா இருந்தா அத வெச்சும் அட்ஜஸ்ட் பண்ணுவா.. உங்களால இவ கூட கார்ல ஊரு சுத்த முடியலன்னு வருத்த பட்டீங்கன்னா, இவ பைக்ல சுத்தினா எனக்கு அதுவே போதும்னு பீலிங்க்ஸா பேசுவா... ஆனா காச பார்த்துகிட்டு நீங்க சந்கீதாக்கு பதிலா தலப்பாக்கட்டு கூட்டிகிட்டு போனீங்கன்னா, இதே செருப்பால உங்களுக்கு அடி நிச்சயம் ... குட் சாய்ஸ் !!!
இது குள்ள கத்திரிக்கா. சப்பல் எந்த டிசைன்னா இருந்தாலும்...இவ்ளோ பெரிய ஹீல்ஸ் இருந்தா... கன்பார்ம் கத்திரிக்காய் ... செருப்ப வெச்சு இவங்க heighta சொல்ல முடியாது.. ஆனா ஹீல் ஆறு அங்குலத்துக்கு மேல இருந்ததுன்னா கண்டிப்பா பொண்ணு அஞ்சு அடி இல்ல அதுக்கு கீழ தான்... உங்க இஷ்டம்.. உங்க கஷ்டம் !!!
அப்பன் கண்டிப்பா கொத்தனாரா தான் இருக்க முடியும்.. செருப்புலியே எப்படி பாலம் கட்டிருக்கா .. பாதீங்களா ?? எதுக்கு செருப்பு கிழ வூட் வொர்க் இருக்கான்னு செக் பண்ணிகொங்க... உங்கள் க்ரிஹ பிரவேசத்துக்கு எமது வாழ்த்துக்கள் !!!
இந்த பிகர் எங்கேயோ வெளியூர் போயிட்டு வந்திருக்கா. அதுவும் கண்டிப்பா இந்த செருப்ப அவ காசு போட்டு வாங்கல... ஏதோ பொண்ணு ஊருலிருந்து வந்திருக்கேன்னு உறவு காரங்க வாங்கி குடுத்திருபாங்க... காசு செலவு பண்றதுல.. நம்பர் ஒன் கஞ்சம். ஆனா பந்தா பார்ட்டி !!!
இது கொஞ்சம் ரெண்ஜான்ன பிகர். பார்த்து கேர்புல்லா டீல் பண்ணனும்... கொஞ்சம் மிஸ் பண்ணீங்க பிகர் எஸ் ஆயிடும். இந்த மாதிரி பிகர் மாட்டுறது கொஞ்சம் கஷ்டம். அதுனால... கொஞ்சம் அலைய ரெடி ஆயிடுங்க மாப்ள.. நல்ல சாய்ஸ் !!!
இந்த செருப்ப பார்த்தாலே தெரியல.. இந்த பிகர் எப்படின்னு ? ரூம் போட்டு யோசிக்கிற டைப். ஒரு செருப்பே இப்படி செலக்ட் பண்றான்னா.. அவ கூட சுத்த போற அவளோட ஆள அவ எப்படி செலக்ட் பண்ணுவான்னு யோசிச்சு பார்த்துகோங்க... ஸ்ஸ்ஸ்பா !!!!!
இந்த பிகருக்கு அலங்காரம்ன ரொம்ப பிடிக்கும்... கால்ல போடற செருப்பயே டூர் மேட் மாதிரி செலக்ட் பண்ணி போட்டு
இருக்கான்னா நீங்களே பார்த்துகோங்களேன்... நச்சரிப்பு கேஸ் !!!!
இதுக்கு ஸ்டைல்ன்னா என்னனே தெரியாது... எந்த விதமான வித்தியாசமும் நீங்க இவ கிட்ட எதிர்பார்க்க முடியாது... நீங்களா போய் இது கிட்ட மாட்டிக்காதீங்க... மச்சி எஸ்கேப் !!!!
இந்த பிகருக்கு நீங்க ட்ரை பண்றது வேஸ்ட்டு. இது வகேஷன்னுக்காக வந்திருக்கிற பிகர். வகேஷன் முடிஞ்சதும், இவளும் பேக் அப். சோ நோ பிக் அப். !!! டைம் பாஸ் !!!
இந்த பிகர நீங்க கரெக்ட் பண்ணனும்னு ட்ரை பண்ணனும்ன்னு நெனசீங்கன்னா ... செருப்பு ஸ்டான்ட்லியே இவள மடகிடுங்க... ஏனா .. அவ கோயில் ட்யூட்டிய முடிச்சிட்டு... ஸ்ட்ரேட்டா பார்ட்டிக்கு போறா.. இவளுக்கு ஏற்கனவே ஆள் இருக்கு. சோ ஒன்னு நீங்களும் இவ கூட போங்க... இல்ல டாட்டா காட்டுங்க ... டைம் வேஸ்ட் !!!!
இந்த மாதிரி செருப்ப போட்டுக்கிட்டு வந்தா ரெண்டே அர்த்தம் தான்... ஒன்னு இவ வீடு ரொம்ப பக்கத்துல இருக்கு. அதுனால அவ இந்த மாதிரி செருப்ப போட்டுகிட்டே வந்துட்டா.. அது மட்டும் இல்லாம... அவ அண்ணனோ , அப்பாவோ யாரோ, பக்கத்துல இருக்கிற சாத்திய கூறு ஜாஸ்தி... அதுனால... கொஞ்சம் உஷார்... ரெண்டாவது... இந்த மாதிரி ஏதோ ஒரு லூசு பைய்யன் எழுதின ப்ளோக படிச்சிட்டு... எக்கச்சக்க பேரு இவளுக்கு ப்ரொபோஸ் பண்ணதுனால... அடிக்கறதுக்கு வசதியா இருக்குன்னு இவளே ஹவாய்க்கு மாறின வாய்ப்புகளும் அதிகம்... ச்சி ச்சி இந்த பழம் புளிக்கும்.... !!!!


இந்த மகத்தான சேவைக்காக... தயவு செய்து யாரும் எனக்கு பாரத ரத்னவோ ... பத்மஸ்ரீயோ குடுக்க வேண்டும் என்று பிரதமருக்கும், ஜனாதிபதிக்கும் கடிதம் போட வேண்டாம் ...

உங்க பிரெண்ட்ஸ் எல்லாருக்கும், இந்த போஸ்ட பார்வர்ட் பண்ணுங்க... அண்ணனோட புகழ் பரப்புங்க... !!! பிகர பிக் அப் பண்ணி .. என்ஜோய் பண்ணுங்க.. !!!

வாழ்க தமிழ்... வளர்க தமிழ் நாட்டு பெண்கள் !!!

P.S:- Seriously NOM to any lady who might be having this type of chappal or shoe. This post arose due to a casual incident in my life, when all I could see about a particular lady in a bus was just her chappal. So I tried 'build' her in my imagination and failed catastrophically... But you know, I haven't been made for failures. So I decided why not ?? So I started from scratch... Soon I picked up enough stuff to tell from the way the slipper had worn, where this girl had been. :P

P.P.S:- None of the above stuff is true. :P :)

P.P.P.S:- The NOM part of course is True. NOM once again !!!

Monday, November 29, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , , , | 4 comments

Perhaps the First time...

This is perhaps the first time, that two Item songs released in the same year have taken the nation by storm... !!!

One was Munni with her Zandu Balm movement...

The other of course, :) Katrina ... !!! with her Jawaani.. Oops... I meant Sheila Ki Jawaani ... Full marks to Sunidhi Chauhan... Awesome Singing... !!!!

Below is an embedded HQ Video... Enzzooiiii !!!!



I Know You Want It
But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Maane Na Maane Koi Duniya
Yeh Saari, Mere Ishq Ki Hai Deewani

Hey Hey,
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Maane Na Maane Koi Duniya Yeh Saari
Mere Ishq Ki Hai Deewani
Ab Dil Karta Hai Haule Haule Se
Main Toh Khud Ko Gale Lagaun
Kisi Aur Ki Mujhko Zaroorat Kya
Main Toh Khud Se Pyaar Jataun

What’s My Name
What’s My Name
What’s My Name

My Name Is Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
Na Na Na Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani

Take It On
Take It On
Take It On
Take It On

Silly Silly Silly Silly Boys
O O O You’re So Silly
Mujhe Bolo Bolo Karte Hain
O O O
Haan Jab Unki Taraf Dekhun, Baatein Haule Haule Karte Hain
Hai Magar, Beasar Mujh Par Har Paintra

Haye Re Aise Tarse Humko
Ho Gaye Sober Se Re
Sookhey Dil Pe Megapan Ke Teri Nazariya Barse Re
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
Na Na Na Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani

Paisa Gaadi Mehnga Ghar
?Ani Na Mainu Ki Gimme Your That
Jaibein Khaali Bhadti Chal
No No I Don’t Lie Like That

Chal Yahan Se Nikal Tujhe Sab Laa Dunga
Kadmon Mein Tere Laake Jag Rakh Dunga
Khwaab Main Kar Dunga Poore
Na Rahenge Adhoore
You Know I’m Going To Love You Like That, Whatever

Haye Re Aise Tarse Humko
Ho Gaye Sober Se Re
Sookhey Dil Pe Begapan Ke Teri Nazariya Barse Re
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
You Never Gonna Get My Body
I Know You Want It But You Never Gonna Get It
Tere Haath Kabhi Na Aani
Maane Na Maane Koi Duniya Yeh Saari
Tere Ishq Ki Main Deewani

Ab Dil Karta Hai Haule Haule Se
Main Toh Khud Ko Gale Lagaun
Kisi Aur Ki Mujhko Zaroorat Kya
Main Toh Khud Se Pyaar Jataun

What’s My Name
What’s My Name
What’s My Name

My Name Is Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
O No No Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani
Sheila
Sheila Ki Jawani
I’m Just Sexy For You
Main Tere Haath Na Aani

Ain’t Nobody Got Body Like Sheila
Everybody Want Body Like Sheila
Drive Me Crazy Coz My Name Is Sheila
Ain’t Nobody Got Body Like Sheila
Everybody Want Body Like Sheila
Drive Me Crazy Coz My Name Is Sheila
Ain’t Nobody Got Body Like Sheila

by Hari
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How deep does the Rabbit Hole go ???

First things first. How big is the pee ? (oops... sorry.. I meant pie)

The pie is 1,70,000 Crore... In figures it is like this...

1,70,000,00,00,000 Rs.
Or to put it in international format ...
17,000,000,000,000 Rs. That's a whopping 17 Trillion Indian Rupees.
Now converting that to U.S Dollars, we get something like (@ a modest 40Rs/USD)
425,000,000,000 - WoW ...

!!! $425bn !!!!

If only Barack Obama knew about this, he would have specifically arranged for a meeting with this man, even if it was at the cost of missing the Banquet thrown by the Prime Minister. Come on, Barack Obama knows that $425 bn is more than enough to bail his country out of the Crisis. He must be thinking,
'They steal our jobs, transfer the taxpayers' money into their swiss accounts and then they have the bloody cheek to tell these people that it was because of recession. Damn !! I wish I was born here.'
The best part is yet to come. This guy, the person responsible for this whole shit, is still out in the open, with not iota of shame or responsibility. The least he can do is to atleast resign. (Atleast till he can fabricate evidences that it was an entirely another man impersonating him and forging his signature and making those trips to the Parliament and even managing to have his own thumbprints replicated, quoting the advances in Science and Technology, maybe in the attempt, even manage to blame Director Shankar for showing SciFi in his movies and try to get Rajinikanth in the frame by saying that it was an Enthiran who had replaced him)

But I am not surprised at this. What I am surprised is that in this whole shit, not one, mind you, I am very choosy about my words, NOT ONE MINISTER/M.P from the ruling party side has stood up and talked about ethics. Why in fact even the man-in-charge-of the-scam has not spoken up. How come suddenly, nobody has a backbone. Oh Hell, I forgot, If they had one, they wouldn't be sitting there. Isn't it ?

And look at the bloody cheek here. Bloody Hell, you couldn't even open your arse in the Parliament, I won't be surprised if they prise your mouth open and find a couple of oysters hiding in there. Sub-Judice ?? And that too the man saying it... Boy, This deserves to come on MTV Ticker.. Or even better, Aditya Channel for Prime Time Comedy... And the man says (I am quoting from Sify)
'She has no moral right to speak on this.'
Fine.. I agree with you Mr. Union Minister about 'She' not having the right to speak on this. But what about the rest of us. You think that the rest of us all are immoral bastards isn't it ??. Well Well... Thank you Mr. Union Minister. Now If I get a chance to say this to your face, I would love to see the expression on your face. Here goes my question 'Have you ever tried to see how many lakhs actually went up your arsehole ? I bet you couldn't have gotten past even a few thousand rupee notes. I have a better caption for your election for the next term. Save My arse, Please don't vote for me.'

Now, comes another question, why is the government so keen to save him ?? SAVE HIM ? He should be given a public trial.. That's what you are saying right ? Come on my friend.. This is India. Here civilians are tried, not criminals and Union Ministers are not guilty even when they are caught in the middle of a prostitution racket.

Everybody out there, is trying to save this man. Now coming back to the question, why is everybody out to save this man ?? Can't you see that its so obvious... ???
I think I know the answer. As the JOKER says in THE DARK KNIGHT
'I know the squealers when I see them'
They are plain scared that he is gonna squeal. And since his squealing is going to be so loud that it may start breaking panes at Barack Obama's summer Camp, they just want to shut him up or better still, cover this . And here starts the Operation Cover-up.

Not satisfied ? OK. Why is the government going to Supreme Court ? Obviously they are scared that an enquiry into this will lead to the study of the CAG being brought to light and may expose the wonderful 'doings' more than that would be necessary and thus throwing the whole 'Constitutional Machinery and money-laundering exercise' into chaos. Moreover it is merely an eye-washing act so that the Opposition is also satisfied. I wonder how many of those zeroes, as we are speaking, are being transferred to the opposition's swiss accounts.

I will not be surprised if each and every one of those MP's including the Prime Minister of the Country and the President of the Party has a share in this huge cake. Its a pretty big cake and I am sure everybody has now bitten a little more than what they could have actually stuffed. Now that they are caught with their hand in the cookie jar they'd better keep their mouths shut.

Now let us see what the fuss is about CAG. I think this team (though it is represented by a single man, I still wish to re-iterate that there is an entire team behind him.) has done a superb job. I am not being sarcastic. In fact, for the first time perhaps in this decade, I am seeing a government body going after a Union Minister with all they've got. In fact a killer job. They nailed him. And now they are making him squeal. Kudos. Hats off. Three Cheers. Fantastic Jobs. Please do complete the CWG audit also and let us know the squealers on that one too. Please... :)

Apparently the Joint Secretary of the Law Ministry does not think so. In a news item that I read here, the concerned person has in fact 'advised' the CAG that
“[The] CAG Act 1971 nowhere provides that he [CAG] has any duty or power to question the wisdom of the policy/lawmaker...[they] cannot exceed the role assigned to them under the constitution/law. The CAG has no duty or power to challenge the policy decisions taken by the government,”
Now my question is, if the Law Ministry is advising the CAG on constitutional roles, They might as well have quoted the Article/Amendment/Schedule. Well, if there was one, they would have, haven't they .. ? Apparently the Joint Secretary was absent in school on the day they taught Constitution and on the day the Law Ministry came to recruit him, they simply asked him to write his name and sing a song and presto,he is immediately given an offer letter that opens with the following words...
'Welcome to the Government of India, where laws are made to be broken'

I am quoting from the CAG website. Its an autonomous government body. And on its website it clearly states ...
Propriety Audit which extends beyond scrutinising the mere formality of expenditure to it wisdom and economy and to bring to light cases of improper expenditure or waste of public money

While conducting the audit of receipts of the Central and State Governments, the Comptroller & Auditor General satisfies himself that the rules and procedures ensure that assessment, collection and allocation of revenue are done in accordance with the law and there is no leakage of revenue which legally should come to Government.

Let me quote again , '...no leakage of revenue which legally should come to Government'.
Pretty much clear-cut and to the point isn't it ?

Apparently the Chief Secretary is clearly not a well-read man. I guess,the well-decorated and 'Oh-I-Got-Degrees-From-So-Many-Universities-In-the-World-But-I-Ain't-got-a-BackBone' Prime Minster and the Law Ministries should either get that appointment due to their ophthalmologist or better still, ask their secretaries to be well aware of what falls with the purview of the constitution and their own non-sense.

What I am also surprised is that, this is the same CAG that performs Audit on the government's treasury for income and expenses. How come no-one's raised a concern on this one. Finance Ministry can easily shut up the Law Ministry with a single comment from their side. But, there is silence prevailing.

Quoting from the Hindu - Dated 2007 January.
"Parliament is a co-ordinate organ and its views do deserve deference even while its acts are amenable to judicial scrutiny."
And mind you, that is a line from a Judgement from the Highest Court of Law in the country.

So according to me (I am a MangoMan), a lawyer even contemplating of going to court with this case that this should not be presented to Supreme Court argument , is in the first place, recording a 'Contempt of Court and its judgement' even before the case is brought to hearing. I would love to hear lawyers talk about this one. So now the government has now no other option but to go to court.

What I am waiting for is for the TamizhNadu's current Chief Minister to play his 'Oh-He-Is-A-Dalit-And-They-Are-Trying-To-Degrade-Him' harp for perhaps the 8902nd time in his life ? or maybe its the 8903rd time ? Either way, he knows that with Elections due in another 4 months, all the magazines and news dailies in the state are literally baying for his blood and will not hesitate to shit on him for playing Caste Politics (which of course he has been playing for perhaps the last 5 decades of his so called [outrightedly disgusting, stinking and nauseating] political life.) So the old man is playing the cards close to his chest. Careful sweetheart, lest you go down with those cards never being revealed. What would happen to the Union Minster then ? I shudder to think.

I beg the CAG to please go public with the whole scam. Wash this man's dirty linen in public. Make sure he does not and cannot have a social life EVER in this country. Show him what it really means to be an outcaste in the society and teach him that it will not do him any good to play his caste-card. That trump card was for the previous decade. Not this one. If it was within my powers I would make him wash the plates and glasses in the LS Canteen for the next 20 years without a single penny for compensation. Maybe perhaps a Parle-G ??? Or has the minister already begun to avoid the G word ??

G will tell perhaps.

And now for some respite. Please do watch these songs. The one on the left starts with lyrics





"For how many years more will you keep cheating the people.
You keep acting as if you are some good soul,
You are only waiting for an opportunity to rob."

எத்தனைக் காலம்தான் ஏமாற்றுவார் இந்த நாட்டிலே
சொந்த நாட்டிலே நம் நாட்டிலே
சத்தியம் தவறாத உத்தமர் போலவே நடிக்கிறார்
சமயம் பார்த்துப் பல வகையிலும் கொள்ளை அடிக்கிறார்
பக்தனைப் போலவே பகர்ந்தே கண்காட்டி
பாமர மக்களை வலையினில் மாட்டி




Don't steal my child.
Correct your mistakes when its early enough to correct them.
Those who plan and steal continue to steal
Those who enact laws to stop them continue to enact laws.
Unless and until the thief regrets we cannot stop this.

திருடாதே ... பாப திருடாதே ...
சிந்தித்து பார்த்து .. செய்கையை மாத்து
சிறிசா இருக்கையில் திருத்திக்கோ ... தவறு சிறிசா இருக்கையில் திருத்திக்கோ .
தெருஞ்சும் தெரியாமல் நடந்திருந்தால் அது திரும்பவும் வராம பார்த்துக்கோ ...

திட்டம் போட்டு திருடர கூட்டம் திருடி கொண்டே இருக்குது
அத சட்டம் போட்டு தடுக்கற கூட்டம் தடுத்து கொண்டே இருக்குது
திருடராய் பார்த்து திருந்தா விட்டால் .. திருட்டை ஒழிக்க முடியாது ...

Ironically both the songs have been sung my Makkal Thilagam MGR, way back in 1961. :) :D

Friday, November 12, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , , , | 6 comments

An Addendum to கவிதை கவிதை...

O.K. Guys, here is the confession ... :P

That song that I 'wrote' on the previous கவிதை கவிதை... was nothing but an English Translation of one of my most favorite songs.. :) சந்தன தென்றலை ... :P

From the movie Kandukondaen Kandukondaen... Beautifully written in Tamizh by Vairamuthu ... :) :D

ROTFLOL .. !!!

And you really thought that the love-bug had bitten me .. hadn't you ??? :) :D
And no, even if the real love bug does bite me, it will not transform me into a poet... I am good writer.. Maybe it will transform me from a good to a better or perhaps the best writer.. but Poetry ... तौबा तौबा ..

I am pretty good at this kind of stuff, ain't I ?? :)
But seriously tell me, the translation was good...wasn't it.. ?

Thursday, November 11, 2010 by Hari
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கவிதை கவிதை...

Oh Baby .. !! Oh Baby .. !!


Closing the French Windows for punishing the wind is not fair baby..
Your eyes are silent, that ain't the answer to my question baby ..
It ain't gonna take me more than a second to profess my love..
To live that love I need you in my life babe ...
To turn me down, you don't need more than a moment babe ..
But to hear it from your lips, I'd rather die...
And Here I am Waiting for your answer
Waiting with bated breath babe ...

The day I first saw you baby, My heart wouldn't stop racing.
'She's the one for you' that's what it was saying.
I'd wished if I could tie you up in my heart,
but that ain't the way love works, does it baby ???
I keep seeing you everywhere, It's like you're my universe
Give me a reason to live baby, or else walk over my corpse.
My very existence is now subject to the mere nod of your head baby
Don't let my soul wander here and there yearning for your love baby

I sometimes wonder why the day hasn't dawned
Then I realize that I was looking at your dark hair
I sometimes wonder why the sun hasn't set
I realize that I was looking into your eyes
The beautiful girls that I have seen till date
Are now nothing before you baby...
Do you not trust me ? Why do you hesitate baby .. ?
I hate this indecision but I love you baby ...


So... ? ? ? How is it ?? and my apologies for the excess Baby .. !!! :P

Please Please do tell me how this is ... I have a confession to make here. :) :P

P.S:- This incidently is the 450th Post on this blog... Yippeee !!!! :) :D

Wednesday, November 10, 2010 by Hari
Categories: , , , | 4 comments

Maa Salaama Misr !!!

I am moving out of Cairo in a couple of hours from now... And this is going to my swansong post on Cairo Diaries. I have written about 25 posts.. mrgreenrazzsurprisedmrgreen, spread over a period of 8 months., spanning about 12000 words

I had fun here, in the land labled as the Gift of the Nile and where civilization once flourished. I loved the city and the night life. The attitude of people towards foreigners, the different types of food stuffs that I had the opportunity to taste.

Here is a concise gist of what I did and What I did not do...

First and foremost -
The food stuffs that I will miss.

1.) First and Foremost, Asab (Sugarcane juice) .. I will never forget that glassful of Sugarcane juice that we had on the way to Luxor. And nor will I forget that Extra Sweet Asab in Alexandria. I loved my El Nozha flat, where I had access to fresh Asab, 24 hours :) I will miss it very badly.

2.) Will miss Nawab's Malai Kofta and Rabdi. (Actually had it one last time yesterday mrgreen)

3.) Kazaz's strawberry juice, Bedengal, Fried Eggplant with Tomato Sauce, Turshi, Lentil Soup and of course Om Ali.

4.) FelFela's Falafel and Foul.

5.) Tom and Basel's Koshary and Roz-ba-Laban.

6.) Massala's Samosa and Achar

The people ...

1.) 'THE' Beautiful Egyptian Women... (Sigh.. !! sad). I just love their dressing sense. With all the traditional attire on them , they still look so attractive and beautiful. I will definitely miss them in India...

2.) The smiling faces of the lift operator, the lady in the pantry and of course the Security Guards who always had the toughest job of waking up in the early hours to open the doors for us. The security guard who works on our floor is actually a qualified lawyer (Imagine that...!!!) He says he took to this profession because he could not get a job)

3.) The mostly honest Taxi Drivers and the friendly people who are always hell bent on calling you Amitabh Bachchan. lol

Other things that I will miss ...

1.) That 4 minute drive at 80 kmph through the 6 kms of Azhar Nafr(Tunnel). Man.. That is one hell of a journey.

2.) Khan-El-Khalili - That is a treasure trove of souvenirs. You need to learn how to bargain here. Everybody addresses you as Amitabh Bachchan. And If you manage to win them over, you can take back stuff at dirt cheap prices.

3.) That awesome 24X7 connectivity to the Internet at workplace and at home. I was always connected whenever possible. Helped me do a lot of things. I am afraid I might not have access to Internet once I get back to work in India, and hence trying make maximum use of it. :P

4.) City Stars.. !!! razz.. Boy !! I will never forget the three Inception shows that I watched here and the reaction of the spectators.

Some things Egypt needs to improve on ...

1.) Traffic on the Roads. Inspite of having so many flyovers and subways/Nafrs, the traffic is still Cairo's biggest problem. The fastest way to travel by Car in Cairo is to travel on a Friday morning :P

2.) Definitely a bigger and better airport. I can't and am still not able to believe that a city that gets record number of visitors, still does not have a proper airport with all facilities. They do not even have a proper lounge.

3.) Better Metro Connectivity. Currently the Metro operates only in a particular region. If only they could increase the connectivity to other regions, the transportation woes of Cairo might just be over.

4.) More theatres that show English movies. And I am surprised that when they love Hindi movies, why don't they screen them ???

Some Places that I would never forget all my life ...

1.) Abu Simbel (Comes first on my list, because this one was more important to me than the pyramids and it was only fitting that I saw this place first biggrin
2.) Aswan
3.) Luxor
4.) Ain-Sokhna
5.) Alexandria
6.) Sharm-El-Shaikh
7.) Pyramids and Sphinx

Some places that I would have liked to visit :-

1.) North Coast
2.) Port Said
3.) Hurghada
4.) Saqqara
5.) I missed out on Cairo Tower and eating at Esbarro.

It's time to say goodbye and although I hate to say it, I have to ...

I have fallen in love with the city and am actually sad that I am leaving Cairo.


Maa-Salaama Misr.

Ahlan Wa Sahlan Hind


P.S:- Below are some pics that I have taken in the last one week. Vintage Cairo.























Monday, November 8, 2010 by Hari
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Cairo Diaries - 25

This one is going to be short and is a review of two restaurants. Two oriental restaurants. Though I claim myself to be an adventurous guy, I am sometimes scared of experimenting too much with food.

First place that I went to was Jo-Sushi - A Japanese Restaurant. It is on the Mohammed Mazhar Street, in Zamalek. Open from 12 AM to 12 PM. It is totally devoid of any dazzling lights and you can easily miss it. It's actually a small restaurant but very artfully decorated. Ambience was great, and so was the setting.

I was initially a bit skeptical because Sushi is basically fish and what would a vegetarian get in a Sushi Restaurant ? Well, my doubts were put to rest when I saw 'some' vegetarian items on the menu. For starters I ordered Miso Shiru - its actually Soya Bean soup. To be frank, it was totally pathetic when tasted just like that. I had to squeeze and entire lemon to make it appealing to the tongue.

The Cucumber Salad was too good. Not as spicy as they had advertised. But nevertheless good. :)

Then Vegetarian Maki. It is basically steamed rice wrapped in some edible leaves (don't ask me what leaves), with a filling of your choice in them, served with some Wasabi and sauces. I chose Japanese Pickles for Filling. It was very very good. And as for Wasabi. Here is a point of caution. DO NOT simply taste it. It hits your tongue and nose as fast as lightning and the taste blinds your senses for a moment. Just for a fraction of a second you feel as if you have sniffed in Sulphuric Acid. Its pungent and hot nature and can actually spoil your whole experience.

The pickled ginger was awesome !!! I loved it.

For dessert it was fried banana laced with honey and served with coconut icecream. Decent fare. A sumptuous dinner fare for two would cost you around 250 EGP (If you are a non-vegetarian).

The other restaurant that we visited was the Thai Elephant Restaurant in Zamalek (again :)). This one actually did not live upto the expectations.

The mixed vegetables soup in coconut milk was good. It was a different taste actually. The rice was good, but not the one they advertised. Fried Sweet Corn gets 10/10. Just perfect !!! I loved it.

The Vegetable Red curry was ok ok types. Tasted like some 2nd grade restaurant food in India. Ice Cream was good. Fried Icecream with coconut layer.

The ambience is awesome. It gets a 9/10 for ambience. Service is pathetic. Food is good. Not great. Not the place where you would like to bring your special someone or an entire evening. You never know how the food may turn out to be.

Average dining cost for two would be 250 EGP (for one vegetarian and the other non-vegetarian)

P.S:- Wondering why there is suddenly a spate of Cairo Diaries... ? :)

by Hari
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Cairo Diaries - 24

As with my previous post, I am writing this from memory and not from my fresh memories of Khan El Khalili.

Though I've never bothered to know the etymology of the word, this is one of the oldest operative souks in the Middle East, functioning from a time as early as the 13th century. This is one of the MOST happening places in Cairo, undoubtedly.

And how do I justify that ? The number of buses that ply on the road to Khan-El-Khalili far outnumber the ones that ply to the Cairo Museum. Tourists come here by scores and buy stuff worth thousands of Dollars !!! rolleyes twisted biggrin

The market is literally built around the Al-Hussein Mosque, a very impressive structure for a prayer hall. The mosque is also rumored to possess the oldest copy of the written Quran.

The street surrounding the Mosque (rather the streets adjacent to the walls of the mosque ) are actually less dazzling and more conservative, dealing predominantly with embellishments for the womenfolk. The roads that lead from the Mosque and into the buildings are the actual market place.



And though it appears as if it is one big market in which you can easily get lost, it is all interconnected. You can start at one end and still end up at the other diagonal end of the market. The market actually looks like the replica of the market that comes in 'I Dream of Jeannie', just that there are too many good looking Jeannies around mrgreen

There is one big complex full of eateries right outside the mosque. They are way too expensive and not worth the price, according to me. The shops near the mosque start out as a small lane immediately after the eatery complex.

On your right is a small, dimly lit shop selling Turkish eyes. The shop is full of them, but they are priced a bit on the higher side. Unless and until you have a thing for Turkish eyes, do not try to bargain here. A couple of shops after this is a shop selling ladies hand bags, and other ladies accessories. There are some really good Sheesha's (Hookah like) arranged outside for display near this shop.



Further down the lane, takes you to a narrow junction. On your left you see lamps covered with metallic covers with mindblowing filigiree looks. This corner takes the breath out of you, at first sight when the shop is fully lit. It suddenly transcends the mortal frame and transfers you into a realm of impossibility and immortality at the same time.



You should know how to bargain here.
Bleese my friend, I make good brice and good disiskount for you. Only for you my friend, Walla, I give sicaksty bounds.

He probably meant a discount and a price of sixty pounds. It will definitely help knowing the Arabic numerals before you go there, so that you can bargain. And NO !!! You need not bargain everything in dollars and Euros. You'd better deal in EGP or else you might get conned right royally.
Wallahi my friend, this is good brice my friend. I am poor man, and allah knows it.
After the shop with filigree work come the shops with shawls and other stuff. The moment you cross these shops you come into an area that is actually a junction with some open space. Just before this is a small staircase to your right, where you can get the best shawls and woolen wear in Cairo. After that the road meanders into an alley of jewellery shops and the crowd too thins a lot after this.

There are innumerable coffeeshops and pub-like houses all around and also inside Khan-El-Khalili. Many of these pubs also showcase the famed Belly Dancing. This is one item that is still unchecked on my Bucket List. twisted

The street parallel to this is one which is every woman's dream and every husband's bane. It's so full of stuff that women would love to buy. Right from cozy evening wear to attractive footwear and glamorous hand bags you have it all here. You'd better forget your thriftiness at home, if you really want to buy something for folks back home.

I swear on my god, my friend, I give you good brice. Lesser price I lose my friend. Wallahi Zamili. You are from Hind, so I give good brice. For tourists this is tharty bounds. For you my friend, special brice, twendy bounds. Last price twendy bounds.
Apart from the fact that you are called Amitabh Bachchan and Shahrukh Khan, the place is an Indian market in all aspects. As you go down that main street of Khan El Khalili you come to a t-shirt shop that sells t-shirts of teams like Egypt, Portugal, Brazil etc. Then comes a junction. This is a very important junction.

If you proceed to your left, a 100 metres, you land up on the main road. Just before you come to the main road, do not forget to taste BazBouza from the old man standing at the corner of the street. They are really good. If you cross the road and go on to the other side, it is a smaller textile market. A pretty decent one. But not much variety.

If on the other hand, you proceed straight ahead from the junction, you end up in perhaps the longest market street in Cairo. This is a place where you can bargain a 40 pound item for 6 pounds and get it at 8 pounds. And No, I am not joking. During my most recent visit (and perhaps my last) to Khan-El-Khalili I got two T-Shirts that I was looking for, for more than 3 months. I even managed to get some other material that I was planning to buy in Wakkalat (Another Cotton Market, on the other side of the Nile) all at dead cheap prices. The entrance to this street has many shops that specialise in rare herbs and plants, which are piled up in pitchers. It lends the air the fragrance of a 'naatu-marundhu-kadai'



O.K, and here is the price-list. A T-Shirt of good quality Egyptian cotton costs you about 15 EGP max. If you are buying more than 5 nos., You can bargain for 12. They don't lessen the price more than that. :) And trust me, the TShirts are worth the 15 pounds that you pay.

Glass Pyramids (3 Nos.) not more than 15 EGP.
One big metallic Pyramid - not more than 30 EGP.
3 small metallic Pyramids with sizes in decreasing order - 30 EGP.
Turkish Eye Chains - not more than 10 EGP (no matter how many turkish eyes they contain)

P.S:- Don't forget to taste the coconut at the old man's shop. It'll be awesome.

P.P.S:- And do not float in air, if they address you as Amitabh Bachchan. They would not mind conning the Big B himself twistedmrgreen

P.P.P.S:- All photos are acknowledged to be the clicks of their original 'shooters' and no copyright violation is intended.

by Hari
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Cairo Diaries - 23

I am writing this from memory and not from the euphoric rush of the mind that has just experienced a Felukka Ride. And Yes, I am sure this must be one of the those rare writings that I do. biggrin

A Felukka Ride on the Nile is the single most important thing that you MUST MUST MUST do if you are in Cairo, or for that matter any city that you are in if it is on the banks of Nile.

Like Keats says ...

A thing of beauty is a joy for ever,
Its loveliness increases; it will never Pass into nothingness;

... a felukka ride is something that you can relive in your mind and it would remain as fresh as ever.

Ah, Do I sound like a poet ? One definitely feels like one especially after the Felukka Experience.

Felukka is a small sail boat (without motor). It moves in water solely by virtue of the current and the winds that push the sail. The best time to enjoy the felukka ride is in the evening, or should I say late evening ? If you ask me, I would say anytime after 12 and before 3 AM in the morning. Those are the best times. There is lesser noise, even lesser crowd, the city prepares itself for sleep and You get your act together for an out-of-this-world experience.



There are felukkas of various different sizes. If you are a big team say 10 members, suggest you get a felukka large enough to hold 20 people, because most people would want to stretch their legs once they are on the Felukka !!! biggrin

You can get felukkas for a variety of prices. The smaller ones can cost you and your partner upto 40 EGP per hour, actually much less, depending on how well you can bargain. If you go as a team of say about 10 people, it is a bargain if you can get him to say yes for 100 EGP for 2 hours. Usually these non-motorized felukkas are not used much. Hence they are willing to go at dead cheap prices. And of course, this is not inclusive of the Tip to the boatman. If you stay for about 2 hours on the felukka, you can give him about 10-15 EGP. It's perhaps his only source of livelihood.

You tell the boatman where you want to go on the Nile. It is possible to cover miles in 20 minutes depending on the tide in the river and the wind speed. It also depends on where you board the boat. If you board a felukka near Maadi, (behind TGIF), its much cheaper, cooler and peaceful. The manager of the boat does not argue much. He will keep saying

'You are my good friend, Walla, this is good price my friend.. Good price. You come to Egypt, my guest, I give you good price. My friend. Walla my friend, I swear on my God that this is a good price. I lose if I give you for less than ----'


This is a standard refrain, so be prepared for this.

After this, you are asked to get seated on the boat. It's pitch dark, mind it. So watch your step. Carefully choose a one that smells a little nice and has plenty of leg space. The boatman pushes the boat against the shore trying to give it movement. After a couple of failed attempts, suddenly you realise that the current is taking your boat away, Swisssssh !!! And away you go for your Felukka ride.

There is not much excitement initially. Just the trepidation of a beginner. As the boat slowly moves to the centre of the river, the longest in the world, you realise what force the river silently carries. If this river wished, it could simply toss your boat from one shore to another with scant respect, but rather, it chooses to entertain you. It gently pushes your felukka here and there. The wind joins in this play. The boatman gently unfurls the sail. It's a small sail, soiled, but looks fine. The boatman quickly puts the rudder on hold and adjusts the sails.

The felukka swings slightly. You hold the frame of the boat, out of reflex action. After having quickly adjusted the sails, the boatman quickly settles into his place, a comfortable position near the rudder. He waits for a minute, and then takes out the cigarette. That's it !! He has done his job. There is nothing that can disturb him from that cigarette unless it is the fury of the river.

The felukka gently glides on water. The boat is always in control of the boatman. Or Atleast it looks as if it isr. Then suddenly the river decides to play with you for a while. There are waves appearing in the river all of a sudden, and the wind chips in by blowing a bit too forcefully. It only takes a couple of seconds for the mood to change in the felukka. A couple of seconds ago, everybody was relaxed, smoking and sleeping, and now everybody is awake, holding onto their lives with eveything they have.

Not a wrinkle on the boatman's face. He quietly and swiftly brings down the sail. All while murmuring under his breath, with the cigarette bitten in his mouth. The rocking of the boat stops almost immediately and suddenly there are no more waves. It looks as if the river is mocking you, for being such a coward. As peace returns to the boat, the boatman resumes his position.

As you sit in the felukka, under the moonlight, you realise that knowingly or unknowingly you have made yourself a part of history, a history that spans thousands of years, of a civilization that spawned on the banks of this river and whose very existence is perhaps why the country itself exists. Truly the 'Gift of the Nile'. And once this realisation sets in, you feel all goose-bumped, and proud that you have actually travelled on the Nile.

The boatman tells you gently that the time is up. It's upto you to decide how you want your ride to end. If you wish to continue, tell him so. Else instruct him to move to the bank of the river. He quickly manoevers the rudder using his foot, all the while adjusting the sails, and the felukka banks. This banking swings this wooden boat to such an extent that you are forced to hold on to the wooden frame for balance. You are also scared. After all you are right in the middle of the river. Atleast 40 feet deep. And throw in the fact that this place is not at all crowded, and its dark, and nobody has a damned lifejacket !! Sure does scare the hell out of you.

The boatman is trying hard to bring down the sail. It appears as if the sail's rope has got jammed somewhere. Just then, as if to confirm your worst fears, the wind begins to blow more strongly, throwing the boat out of balance. But, the boatman simply scoffs at your fear. He stands on the edge of the boat and heaves at the sail and there it comes. You heave a sigh of relief. The felukka slowly reaches its 'parking' bay and the boatman helps you get down from it.

You pay him the tip and he happily accepts it. You then go to the manager and pay him the remaining half of the money. He tells you

'Welcome to Misr My friend. Wallahi, Come again, and I will give you good price.'

Sure, we will Mr.Manager. We definitely will. Inshallah.

P.S:- During my six months stay in Cairo, I've been on a Felukka 4 times. P.P.S:- Picture taken during my Luxor and Aswan Trip.

Sunday, November 7, 2010 by Hari
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