Ah.. The title got you here isn't it.. ???
You surely haven't heard of this one right ???
:) Yay !!!
This is Haricharan bringing you the first of the best news from across the country...
A new reality show is about to hit you with the full force of a Shatabdi..
What ?? You don't get it ??
Its simple. You have to spend 15 crores on your honeymoon.
I can hear screams from your end !!! Yeah.. Even I want to scream my heart out, in anguish. अरे क्या करूंगा मैं पंद्रह करोड़ का ?
But don't think its gonna be easy..
Here are the rules and conditions.
1.) You should have got married less than 45 days of the start of shoot. There will be checking of marriage registration certificates.
Rationale :: This is reality TV. We don't want behenji's and mamaji's participating. Young couples. Hot blooded. More TRP.
2.) Your marriage should not have consummated. (Yes.. That's the new Reality.. Disgusting.. ??? Read on...)
Rationale :: If you've already got the girl, WhyTF do you need a honeymoon. Honeymoon is all about wooing the girl and making the cut. Makes sense right. Amazing insight by the producers.
3.) Only one partner will plan the honeymoon. The other person will be kept unawares of the entire plan.
Rationale :: So that we can have a huuuuuggge scene created at airport or tourist location wherever the honeymoon is planned. Producers will ensure that the girl is scared of air-travel or boat-ride that they can have some tear jerkers as well.
4.) At the end of the honeymoon, the couple should not have anything material or monetary out of the exercise. Implies, no gifts, no clothes, no jewelery, no nothing bought from the 15 crores. There must be vouchers, bills and receipts. Every paisa must be accounted for.
Rationale :: (sounds like Arunachalam?? Well the producers just lifted it from there.) The producers feel that the couple got their fair share of limelight. Now scoot !!!
5.) The camera will accompany them 24X7. Yes. You read that right. 24X7.
Rationale :: If they don't get some intimate scenes, WhyTF do they need such a program. Get it ? TRP's will shoot through the roof when advertising with kisses and hugges. (We are already overloaded with all this from that juvenile show, what do they call it ??? Ah.. S P I T S V I L L A !! No.. that was not a typo. Intended.)
6.) The couple will not talk with any of their parents AT ANY TIME during the course of their honeymoon.
Rationale :: The channel will have three weeks of special filming at their parents' place, shooting them with tears. Making them show the photographs from their childhood. Even their Chachere Bhaai's Mausa's Maama will make it to the show and recollect fondly how the boy's father insulted him.
7.) At the end of every day of honeymoon, [which will be edited and split up to be telecasted on three days], there will be a vote by the viewers, which will decide whether the couple deserve to continue their honeymoon. If they fail, a new couple will be selected and the whole process continues.
Rationale :: Customer is King. King never bargains. King is never wrong. So if the Customer feels that the couple are "feeka", its time to give them the boot. And after giving them the boot, two more days we can show their journey in the show, FROM THE BEGINNING, in black and white, all their fights, their parents in tears, friends in shock....
8.) Celebrity couples will travel to the honeymoon spot and give the couple "tasks". All the while the celebrity wife will try to seduce the young man, while the celebrity husband will get cozy with the girl.
Rationale :: This is the way the viewers can see the love between the boy and girl. The jealously must be visible. Sleazily dressed Celebrity Wifey is a must and the Celebrity husband must be a six packer with his shirt open all the time. More skin-show. More glamor.More TRP's.
9.) In case of a massive fight between the couple, the boy/girl's ex will be brought in.
Rationale :: What use are cupboards if there are no skeletons in them. When there is a fight, prolong it. Push it. Drama is what the audience wants. The arrival of the ex will only increase the interest in the drama. News channels will start discussing "Axe your ex".
10.) Post the honeymoon, the couple will be required to undergo the Fidelity-Lie-Detector Test and also a psychiatric test.
Rationale :: As the producers we do not want lives of young couples to be ruined. Also such medical treatments will show the channel in good light.
The show is touted to be hosted by none other than Meena Vallik and Pashmit Atel. One hot TV couple, who made it BIG at the house of the BOSS.
Just IMAGINE !!!
P.S:- Inspired by this.
P.P.S:- Find it disgusting ?? Please write a petition to Information and Broadcasting Ministry on banning programs like the above. and of course, Programs like Roadies, Big Boss, Axe your Ex, SplitsVilla. And then I might consider taking this piece off. Err... I meant, taking the post off.