The Great Indian Rip-Off

Our special correspondent from Mumbai writes ::

Thousands of fans were arrested in the wee hours of Sunday Morning, in what is being termed as the "Single Largest Arrest of Civilians" in Mumbai's Law and Order History.

Pandemonium broke out when around 1 AM on Sunday morning, the Indian Dressing Room started blaring "Tu Nangi Acchi Lagti Hai."

Fans broke all security measures, when one person among the crowd, shouted, "She's there... She's there !!! And she's stripping... !!! "

The fans, who were stunned for a couple of seconds, ran towards the Players dressing room, only to be stopped by the Policemen, who soon realised that they were outnumbered one too many. It took the fans just a couple of pushes and soon they were all running towards the "Grand Stand" to make sure they have the "First Row Seats" for "darshan".

The root cause of this controversy is traced back to a letter written by the model to the board asking them for permission. In her letter she hasdstated that,
"..I want India to win the Cricket World Cup 2011 and am willing to go the extra mile to do anything so that India wins the World Cup. I am ready and willing at any place and time of the Indian teams choosing to go in the nude to boost their sporting spirit to perform better."
"...many studies conducted by various universities abroad which confirms and infers that such performances/expectations boost and inspire people to perform better in any field, be it sports or otherwise. Even medical books on psychology and psychiatry confirms this."
The status of model's humble request to the board is unknown to us, as at this point of time, however we presume that she had gone ahead and decided to "do-the-due" [pun unintended]. Our sources inside the Dressing room indicate that Yuvi and Virat were the most excited of the lot, while Sree and Bhaji were busy biting their nails. Apparently the mayhem outside had disturbed the model's "concentration" and hence the "darshan" was postponed.

For the fans assembled outside, the disappointment was doubled. They were returning empty handed - no darshan. And to add to their woes, they were being arrested, for "breach-of-privacy".
"I call it outrageous and totally unfair. I am a citizen of India, and I believe in such matters, no one person has any privilege over the other. I demand to see it. NOW !!!" - we found one of the arrested fans screaming.
"The Indian Team has let us down very badly. The least they could have done was tweeted about it or atleast taken some pics. We never knew they'd turn out to be so selfish. This was the least they could do to us fans." quipped another.
The news of this stripping is not going down with some Woman-Empowerment-Organizations.

"This is total insanity and atrocious. We did not expect her to behave like this. The least she could do was to demand some payment for her act and then donate it for some charity. We have always been very protective of our women. We, or rather I do not see any reason , why Poonam would do this for publicity or for acting favors. She's a mature woman, who is probably going through her PMS. Nevertheless Woman slavery is something has to be abolished." - Chairperson of "Support-For-Emotionally-Deranged-Woman" - Mrs. ____ said.

But the cricket fraternity seems to have different opinions.
"The boys need some entertainment yaar.. Come on... Give it to them. They have struggled so hard to get the cup." When our correspondent asked which cup, DubaakoorSeth, former Indian captain, supposedly blushed and responded, "Why I meant the world cup, of course."
But amongst the most disappointed of all, was the "Aam-Aadmi" the mango man, who could not even see err.. buy mangoes.

Sunday, April 3, 2011 by Hari
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One Comment

  1. Drunkard Mallya has released the Kingfisher calendar starring Poonam Pandey just for all the mango men.

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