I love to read blogs. Especially bloggers who write really excellent stuff, without holding themselves back. IHM is one such blogger, but today when I read (on Google Reader) a post by her, I am tempted to write this post.
[I agree that the post is not her own, but one among the ones that she posts - which are forwarded. NOM, but some amount of sense should have prevailed before it was posted]
The post in question is here.
The title of the post reads "Some happy relationship rules. Add yours?". IHM then lists one rule after another. Yes. That's perfectly fine, until #15.
"Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later."
I agreed with all the points in question except for this one. This one rankled me. It kept haunting me to be honest. If all these points are applicable for a woman, am sure, atleast some of these will be applicable for men as well.
Would a woman accept it "open-heartedly" or "more than willingly" the fact that her husband hid something from her .. ? (need not be an extra marital affair always - it can be a secret loan that he took before marriage and never told his wife about. It can also be a secret ailment he is suffering from [but getting treatment for it as well])
I can say with crystal clarity that the woman will be wild and totally unconvinced once she comes to realize that her husband hadn't told/confided her. For her, its a feeling of being used but not considered worthy enough to be confided.
How does a woman feel when her man does not confide in her ? Very Happy right ? Shouldn't she be proud and declare to her neighbours "Oh.. Mere pati to mujhse kuch bhi nahi bolte. Bahut shaanth hain ji.." - or "My husband doesn't open up to me actually. But he is a nice guy."
If the guy doesn't talk about his past, he is labeled as hiding something, with skeletons in his cabinet, but when a woman does this, its perfectly fine. Yeah.. Right.. !!!
How the guy feels, in what way does it make a difference to the girl here ?
Who the Bloody F is he ?
Why should the guy feel anything ?
He is after all there, just looking for an opportunity to screw another woman.
Isn't it ?
And is waiting to make his wife/current partner a dummy piece.
Perfect. Makes perfect sense.
Who is this man ?
What right does he have to know her past ?
And Why The F should the woman tell him everything ?
I have seen men labeled as "Bastards","MC's" and "BC's" (Hindi ones), "Perverts", "Filth" among many other choicest epithets that women hurl on men. I've frequently had more than one woman tell me "All men are bastards" on not one, but multiple occasions.
I always tell this to all my woman friends/colleagues. Make a statement, Its appreciated, but do not generalize. NEVER !!!
I take offence at generalization. I take offence at Stereotyping. I have certain theories which clearly indicate the nature of woman. As much as woman trash it, mainly because it shows their narrow minded personality, I am very much sure that the experiments that I conducted were 98% accurate. I have Data !!! It will not take me much time to make a statement like ... Well, forget it. Nevertheless, the point being made here is totally ridiculous by IHM.
As one blogger rightly points out in the comments section of the same post
"...I just dont see the point in hiding something purposely from the person I trust and want to spend the rest of my life with."
I rest my case.