Men :: Read this post at leisure. Appreciate the fact that I empathize.
Women :: Read this post when you are really happy and miserable about it !!! :)
Here is the background to this post. Of course, as usual, the background may have nothing to do with the crux of the post, still...
This story starts on the 127K. Kondapur to Koti. Or Rather, this happened on the way back. I was waiting at Ohri's for the bus to take me to Jubilee Hills checkpost. This bus came. Slightly crowded. Standing only. I boarded the bus, only to find myself standing right at the entrance. But that was ok. I was to get down 4 stops later.
It was then I noticed. All the men on my left were looking beyond me. Yes, not at me. But beyond me. It took me quite some time to realize that they were ogling at a female. So I looked at my right and found that there was indeed a pretty female.
Female, 24ish, Medium Hair, Curly. Low-Hip Jeans. 4 inch heels. Rather loud. Tip-of-the-tongue Hinglish.
The moment the specs (short for specifications) were clear, I was smiling to myself. This was a pretty common "configuration" as far as women in Hyderabad go, especially the crowd from Jubilee Hills, Banjaara Hills, Madhapur Iyappa Society, Kondapur, Silpa Gardens. So what was it that the guys were ogling at. And then I realized it. S.L.E.E.V.E.L.E.S.S
Indian men have a thing for Sleeveless. I do not know why they are wired like that. But Sleeveless gets the Indian men turned on.
Well, before you start conjecturing this post is not about the untold fantasies of Indian men, but rather, my advice or rant on how adjusting Indian men are.
1.) When you wear a sleeveless, please make sure, you use a proper Deo. I've born the brunt of many a sleeveless woman, pushing me to think, a guillotine was better, than to stand the stench.
2.) If you have/had opted for a waxing or threading job, make sure you get the proper result. I've seen some pakka specimens, that get a half baked (read half waxed) job done and then exhibit her arms and legs. Everytime I saw one of "those" women, I only felt like slapping myself.
3.) Please do not apply layers of that sun-screen lotion and come and sit next to me. I do not know how you stand it, but it makes me nauseated, everytime I breathe that thing in. :( ... If you are using one of those lotions, please do use some talcum powder on top it, atleast to cover the smell. No, this is not for you to impress me, but you must realize that you are doing me a favor by preventing me to die of asphyxiation.
4.) Watch YOUR heels. Yeah, I know you walk on a stool (err... not the human excreta, I meant "stilts"), doesn't mean that it gives you the right to stand on my toes. Gosh, Do you know how much it pains woman ? And to think, you only use it on men, who try to be nice to you and give you space to get down. Thanks !!!
5.) Watch your HANDBAG. I know that thing contains your "accessories". Doesn't mean you swing it on the head of every single person on the bus who falls within your "arc". And please, if you are having glass bottles (read perfumes), please do not break it on someone's head and then crib about it.
6.) Volume zara kam karna ... Yes, If you do not want men to be staring at you and laughing at your silly stories, please keep your volume down. If you are doing it for the sake of attention, please go ahead and act as if you have not read this. But if you feel awkward that something is wrong and all the wrong people are looking at you, you just crossed the decibel limit.
7.) Take those Coolers, Goggles, Shades (whatever you call them) off your head. P.U.H. - L.E.A.S.E !!! And the sun is not shining "inside" the bus. You don't want to be ridiculed ? Remove them. Let better sense (read common sense prevail). You are not sitting in the Golf Club. And seriously woman, that Dolce and Gabbana is covering about 40% of your face. You want to hide your face ? is it that hideous ??
Yeah, in response to this post, I am prepared for some hate mails as well. Honestly women, I don't really give that a damn. All that I want to highlight here is that I am no chauvinist, but it does not really matter. Does it ?
Of Women, Buses and The Tolerance of Men !!!