Archive for October 2011

What the F**k is the problem ?

You, Yes You !!!

What the F**k is the problem ?
Why do you always have to take people for granted ?
Why is it you never find the time to respond properly ?

Forget me. I've stopped giving you the "f***ing" attention that you crave. Why ? Because, honestly, you cannot give attention to someone and secondly you don't deserve the attention. [This blog is not for venting out my frustration - but its more like a OMG, people are still wishing you for your birthday on your FB page types].

And what is it with this "Oh-I-Treat-These-Guys-Like-Puppies-And-See-How-They-Still-Keep-Running-Behind-Me" treatment you are handing out to guys ? You think that's endearing ? My apologies that I am restraining myself from using the exact word that I wish to use here.

Honestly, You don't deserve nice guys... Not one. LOL - Having 1000+ friends on Facebook is pointless - mainly because its "Face"less. How many have you really really interacted with ? You meet somebody once at some meet, Add him on FB, even share your phone number and then be all "Oh-I-met-him-at-a-meet-da. He's-hitting-on-me-too-much-da." types. Seri..Athaan avan thaan jollu vidaraannu theriyarthulla ... apparam enna avan kooda kadalai vendikedakku ? (Im)Politea FB la unfriend panna vendiyathu thaane ? Illa Call panni solla vendiyathu thaane - Sorry not interestednnu...

How many times do you check email in a day - Once ? Twice ? OK.. Let's just say thrice ? - You cannot respond to an email or what ? By Now, I realise that you cannot respond to an email on time. That is different. Respond- Atleast. What do I call that ? Apathy ? Indifference ?

I've warned you before, I warn you again - This attitude is gonna give you a lot of pain - And I mean the pain-you-know-where. And it will be not be something that you will relish remembering.

I'll tell you what. You will get a good job. And I sincerely pray You get treated like Shit. And by this I mean - real shit. And then you'll realize the importance of "the importance which people give to you."

Just because you've faced certain difficulties in life and life has not entirely been a bed of roses for you - Does not necessarily mean you dole out the same shit to everybody. Agreed. Life has been tough - OK. Agreed. I empathize and sympathize. Now move on. Don't effing give me attitude.

And no, I don't fucking care if its your birthday or not !!!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011 by Hari
Categories: , , | 1 comment

"Those who write soft porn should not dream of becoming a cult writer"

That in essence was what Mr. Maranayana Noorthy had to say when he read Betan's Tweet that went, "It is ironic when someone who runs a body shopping company and calls it hi-tech, makes sweeping comments on the quality of IIT students."

Mr Noorthy had only one comment to make, which went, "For someone who makes his living by writing soft-porn, the cult-writer status is almost cringe-worthy."

Our special correspondent reports that lately, Mr. Chagat has been consistently "trying desperately" to hog the limelight, apparently begging for some publicity for his new book, "Bharat Chodo 2020". Apparently the book is all about Chodo, err.. Not the leaving wala Chodo, but about the err... Forget it. Rumors are abound in the market, that the Publishing campaign for the book is going to take the country by storm and that Deepika Publishers have decided to supply one packet of Kohinoor condoms along with every copy of the book purchased.

Insider reports also suggest that there are quite a few "steamy" scenes in the book, which would make great "matter" for a movie.

We can now be sure that Betan is not a name that you can take lightly.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , | 2 comments

Sub(way) Below !!!

Now to start with - This Subway ALWAYS (read as GODDAMN EFFING ALWAYS !!!!) something or the other "Not-In-Stock".

Now before we get into all that, here is the background of what prompted this post.

The exact location of the subway in question is shown below. This is the subway that is present "below" the ICICI Bank branch - Madhapur (which is basically Kondapur).

I have one meal per week at Subway - This is usually the Sunday Afternoon one. And here is what has happened in the past 6 weeks.

6 Weeks back : "Sir, Hearty Italian is not available"

5 Weeks back : "Sir, We have only Honey Oats. All our breads are getting baked."

4 Weeks back : "Sir, Except for Parmesan Oregano and Honey Oat, everything else is available." Why ?. "Sir, no stock available"

3 Weeks back : "Sir, Sweet Onion sauce out of stock sir."

2 Weeks back : "Sir, Aloo Patty(ie) not available Sir."

1 Week back : "Sir, Toaster not working."

Yesterday : "Sir, Toaster not working."

If to get a toaster fixed it takes one Subway 10 days, then shall I pay the cost of my FootLong Veggie Delite in 4 installments ?

The person-in-charge gave me the reason as "Sir, the Technician will come from Delhi and fix it sir. It will take some time."

This attitude of "Adjust kar lo sir.." "Chalega Sir" is what is causing this outrage.

Exactly what do you think of your customers ? Nincompoops ?

First of all, train your staff to behave politely to their customers and to LISTEN to the orders. Each one is dumb in his own right.

At a time when Brands are getting crazy about their reputation online and where every conceivable brand has a Facebook and Twitter Page, here comes our way - You guessed it right !!! SubWay India !!!

Here is a screenshot of their Facebook and Twitter Pages ...

Just imagine this - When Subway in general as a brand has more than 8 million followers, how come SubWay India hardly has an active page ?

And when you try to complain on their site, it takes you to their U.S site, where you have to fill a dozen fields only to get a "404" request or a "Sorry, your data could not be saved."

Seriously ... WTF is going on ?

To sum it up, this is incompetency, impotency and lethargy at its very best. Way to Go SubWay !!!!

Sunday, October 2, 2011 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , | 4 comments

Qvendo, 50 Grand and 1 Crazy Buyer !!!

This post is written in response to the Qvendo's - If you had 50,000 what would you buy from Qvendo and why ?
All Descriptions of art and artwork are real and exist.

50 Grand for shopping. Just Imagine !!! And to shop at Qvendo, boy, I'd actually kill to get to do that.

For THE Man (that's me :) )

I liked the White and Rose Shirt - Perfect for a Saturday Brunch with my girl and her friends. Gives me that cool and classic edge. This has pretty stiff competition from Armani's dark demin jeans - Now that's a killer combination !!! So the end result of that exercise would look something like this....

Hey this jeans needs an awesome belt and what better than a Lawrence Grey ? And luckily there is still ONE belt left in the category which I believe is providence smiling upon me, and so I quickly grab one. Now let's see what we've got... Hmmm.. Pretty Impressive.

Now A man like that cannot go without a coat, can he ? And what better than theSack Coat by Tommy (yes.. of Hilfiger fame :P)

Let me see, I think a pair of shadeswill give me this "Don't take me lightly baby" look. So here it goes into my collection.

Now to pay for all that long elaborate lunch that I am planning with my girl, I need to have an elegant wallet to show off, isn't it ? After all Isn't a man known by how he carries his money in his wallet (never mind, I invented that). So here goes a Porsche into my collection.

And after all this is done, you don't expect me to walk bare-footed to a luncheon where my girlfriend's been waiting to introduce me to her friends. Do you ?

Let's complete the man (err... No pun intended) So here goes a Hamlet Derby Shoe - I prefer the Vintage Grey version. It goes well with the Dark Denim Jeans and does not make me look like as if I stepped right off the street.

Now, let's calculate.

Armani Jeans | Valentine Shirt | Tommy Hilfiger Sack Coat | Hugo Boss Shades | Lawrence Gray Belt | Porsche Cognac Purse | Hamlet Derby Shoe

Sigh.. Quite a list ain't it ?

Now with no offense to MasterCard

Armani Jeans and Valentine Shirt - 14,100 Rupees
Hamlet Derby Shoe, Porsche Purse, Lawrence Gray Belt - 16,400 Rupees
Tommy Hilfiger Sack Coat and Hugo Boss Shades - 17,500 Rupees
Total : 48,000 Rupees

Expression on my face when I imagine myself wearing all of this - WoW that's 50 Grand well spent :)
The smile on my girlfriend's face when she'll introduce me to her friends - PRICELESS !!!

P.S :- If you are wondering what happened to the other 2K , I'd buy this (an antique Silver Purse) for my girl. :P

Now, THAT is an awesome way to spend 50 Grand in 10 minutes.. :) :D

P.P.S :- All references to people(read - girl, girlfriend, lady) are fiction and merely co-incidental !!! :P

Saturday, October 1, 2011 by Hari
Categories: , , , , , , , | 4 comments