Archive for December 2011

Of Arseholes, ShitEaters, MF's and Traffic Cops !!!

I guess being a Traffic Cop in Bengaluru is the worst job in the world.
Worse than Pimping your own Mother and sister.
Oru Maanam Ketta Pozhappu ...

The reason why I am seething with rage is because of this video -



The Traffic Constable is bullying the lady like hell..
And the worst part is someone is telling the lady - "Don't argue with the cop" - Thoo...
Ivanellam enna pannalaam..
(Tying a 2 kg weight balls to his and make him stand the whole day - sounds like a good option BTW.)

The best comedy is later in the video..
Eppadi Eppadi ? Pillion Rider must also wear Helmetaama ..
Aiyyo Aiyyo .. This guy seems to be a Modern Day Saami's Traffic Constable.
Kannada theriyala na ? Enna Venumnaalum Pesuvaanaama ?
Some one is going to show him a "Moone Mukkal" Some day, Otha annikku thaan ivanukku buthi vara poguthu...

Ngothaa Dei ..


And If you have a problem with the language of this post - Before you even comment - See if you can take some action against that Traffic Cop - Otherwise you are free to STFU.

Friday, December 30, 2011 by Hari
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STAR Vijay's Programs - One Big Rant

To say it in one word - Its a SCAM.

To say it in some more words - We fed this monster and now its eating us.

I read this on a fb profile and was tempted to comment there. I refrained.

"கோடீஸ்வரர் நிகழ்ச்சியும், அம்பானியின் நம் கோமனத்தை உருவும் தந்திரமும்.........ஆம் இந்த நீங்களும் வெல்லலாம் ஒரு கோடி நிகழ்ச்சியில் பன்னும் தகிடுதனம் பற்றிய முழு அவேர்னஸ் ஆர்டிக்கள்... விஜய் டீவி நிகழ்ச்சியில் அம்பானி என்கிருந்து வந்தார்னு கேக்குறிங்களா, இந்த நிகழ்ச்சியில் ஒரிஜினல் தயாரிப்பாளர் அம்பானியின் கம்பெனி "பிக் சினர்ஜி" எனும் நிறுவனம் தான். ஏற்கனவே ஸ்டார் நிறுவனத்தின் தலைவர் பன்னிய ஃப்ராடுதனத்தால் அதன் பிரிட்டிஷ் நிறுவன சி ஈ ஓ சிறைக்கு இரண்டு மாதத்திர்க்கு முன் தான் சென்றார். இப்பொழுது இவர்கள் அம்பானி கம்பெனியுடன் சேர்ந்து நடத்தும் பகல் கொள்ளை தான் " நீங்களும் வெல்லலாம் ஒரு கோடி" நிகழ்ச்சி.....

முதலில் இவர்கள் கேட்கும் கேனைத்தனமான கேள்விகளுக்கு நீங்கள் குறுஞ்செய்தி அனுப்பவேண்டும் அதை அனுப்ப ரூபாய் 3 முதல் ஐந்து வரை வசூலிக்கப்படுகிறது அது போக அவர்களை தொடர்புகொள்ள சில ஸ்பெஸல் நம்பர்கள் உள்ளன இது ஒரு நிமிடத்திற்க்கு ரூபாய் 6.99 வரை சார்ஜ் செய்யபடுகிறது.... இவர்கள் தினமும் 30 - 35 கோடி வரை இந்த குறுஞ்செய்தி மற்றூம் டெலிபோன் காலில் சம்பாதிகின்றனர். அதாவ்து பப்ளிக் டெலிபோனிலிருந்து நீங்கள் போன் செய்தால் அது செல்லாதாம், ஆபிஸில் இருந்து போன் செய்தாலும் செல்லாதாம், வீட்டில் மட்டும் இருந்துதான் போன செய்யவேண்டுமாம் அப்பதான் உங்கள் டெலிபோன் பில்லில் இந்த கொள்ளை சார்ஜ் வரும் நீங்களும் பணம் கட்ட வேண்டும்.... இது ஒரு லாட்டரி பிஸினஸை விட மிக பெரிய கொள்ளை ஆம் 35 கோடி இதன் மூலம் வருமானம் மற்றும் விளம்பரம் எல்லாம் சேர்த்து ஒரு நாளைக்கு 40 கோடிக்கு மெல் வருமானம், இதை நம் தமிழ் ஹீரொ வக்காலத்து வாங்கும் காரணம் அவருக்கு டெய்லி ஒரு கோடி ரூபாய் அதனால் நம்ம மக்கள் முட்டாள் ஆனால் அவருக்கென்ன கவலை தமிழனுக்கு இந்த படம் பார்த்தால் திமிறு வரும்னு சொல்லி மிளகாய் அரைச்சாச்சு இப்ப இந்த குறுஞ்செய்தி, ஸ்பெஸல் நம்பர் டெலிபோன் கால் மூலம் தினமும் கொள்ளை, இதில் குளிர்காய்பவர்கள் அன்றாடம் காய்ச்சிகள் இல்லை அம்பானியும், முட்ராக்கும், சூர்யாவும்தான்.

இந்த 37 பக்க கேமின் டெர்ம்ஸ் அன்ட் கன்டிஷன்ஸ் (Terms & Conditions) படியுங்கள் (www.asknagravi.com/orukodi) அப்புறம் நீங்கள் முடிவு செய்யுங்கள், இல்லை நான் என் காசை கரியாக்கியே தீருவேன் என்று கங்கனம் கட்டி கொண்டு குறுஞ்செய்தி அல்லது கால் பண்ணினால் "ஒன்னும் செய்யமுடியாது". உண்மையிலே அறிவு சார்ந்த நிகழ்ச்சியாக இருந்தால் எதற்க்கு இந்த ஸ்பெஸல் நம்பர் டோல்ஃப்ரீ நம்பர் அல்லவா கொடுக்க வேனும்..... தயவு செய்து வீட்டில் இருக்கும் டெலிபோனை பூட்டி வையுங்கள், குழந்தைகளுக்கு எடுத்து சொல்லுங்கள் போன் பண்னவேண்டாம் என்று மொபைல்களை தெரியாதவர்களிடம் கொடுக்க வேண்டாம்.... தயவு செய்து எவ்வளவு முடியுமோ அவ்வளவு பகிருங்கள் மக்களுக்கு உண்மைகளை எடுத்து சொல்லுங்கள் நான் பப்ளிக் லிட்டிகேஷன் போட முயற்ச்சி செய்கிறேன்,

இதன் ஆடியோ வெர்ஷனையும் கேளுங்கள்......... நன்றியுடன் நாகராஜன் ரவி 27.12.2011





All this is fine, but why the uproar now ?
Hasn't this been the strategy of every TV Channel in the country since the time Cable TV came to India ?

I do not blame the service providers or the Serial's producers. Why ? Why should I blame them ? When we are the ones to be blamed...

We want entertainment.
We want Filmstars to come on TV Shows and mingle with the Public.
We want some real-life Drama with lots of azhugai and wisumbal.
We are willing to pay for it. (Atleast that's what I assume)

Cable TV ellam Tamizhnaatukku varathukku munnadiye - DoorDarshanla Maapillai alangaramnnu sollitu - Neraya thanga nagaigala parisa kudukkala ? Just imagine this - These were the Pre 1996 days when mobile Phones were entering the Indian market (One Black Coffee Please - Era) - when people used to book Trunk calls to talk STD and those with limited STD used to count minutes when someone else used to talk via them. People used to call DD and tell the answers and then the unfortunate many would send in their answers (only "Pottikkaana Thabaal attai" will be accepted - that DD Director will say) and then "kulukkal muraiyil" they will select. Ithellam ennathu ? Lottery thaane ? Ponzi Schema ? Kaettaa - This is a game of Luck and not skill nnu dialogue ellam viduvaanga ...

After DD, Sun TV started this practice. Yaen, Sarath Kumar Varala - Naan Ready .. Neenga Ready a ? Sollitu .. Appo enga ponaa unga Tamizhan ? Enga pochu ungalukku Buddhi ? Enga pochu unga Poruppunarchi ? Kodeeswaran Muthiraiya payanpaduthunuma ?

4 Lakhs worth jewellery. 10 Lakhs worth Car and other gifts. Raj TV followed suit. Everybody had contests. Government saw this as an awesome opportunity. Even the reviews of TV Serials had to be sent in only on Pottikkaana Thabaal Attai - The Government minted money in this exercise as well.

I do not know what happened but slowly this Deepavali Bumper Gift giving practice stopped. But by then other modes of competition stepped in. SMS and Phone Calls started their own trend. Telecom operators also saw this as an awesome opportunity. They started giving "special numbers" kaettaa - corporate connections - multiple lines etc nnu they gave lot of gas.

Now that the TV Channels had the Telecom Operators under their thumb - who also gave them a fair share of their earnings - the game began in full swing and has been continuing ever so.

Another Rant here...

Case in Point - SuperSinger

STARVijay has an amazing rotation policy. First 6 months of the year - it will run the Adults Super Singer - the next 6 months it will run the Junior Super Singer. Regular Income guaranteed. And guess who is the title sponsor ? Of course, another Major Telecom Service Provider.

First 6 months - The adults will tell all their friends and families to watch the program.
The Second 6 months - The kids will tell all their friends and school teachers and an entire set of schools will watch the program. And the kids parents will call up their onnu vitta maama and chithappa's in America at 3 and 4 in the morning IST to tell them to view their son/daughter's singing that Friday.

The hardly 3 week (21 Day) show is dragged and stretched across for 6 months (21 Weeks) -
that includes
Profiling of the singer's dog.
His wardrobe.
How many baniyan jattis he has.
How many holes the singer's father has in his socks
How much abject poverty they are in
How both the parents are working and the singer is so responsible and learning all by himself.
How he is a "chamathu kointhey" and all by half a dozen maamis from Mylapore.
And don't forget those awesome Voice Training Sessions that he will undergo.

Repeat the above process for the top 20 contestants. Quickly eliminate 10 bad singers and 3 good singers. Now the elimination of the 3 good singers will be talked about wildly. More TRP's. More people will send in their SMSe's and Calls to the special numbers. The channel will now know, it has to air more such episodes. While the shooting of those "special" elimination episodes is going on - the channel will air the above mentioned controversial episode [as if it had nothing to do with it] in absolute slow motion with reactions of the parents and public from various angles and their takes on it. Itha vechae oru rendu episode ottidalaam.

Note : The elimination of the 3 good singers is done purposefully. Illana Wild Card Roundla Vaththalum Thothaluma vanthu nikkume. So by cleverly "eliminating" 3 good singers they know that they will have good competition. And imagine this, at the fag end of the season - when they are entering Quarterfinal rounds - it will definitely do good to have the friends and family and relatives of the 5 or 6 eliminated contestants to boost their own TRP's.

Intha kodumai inga mudiyathu illa. It goes further.
The Judge will give some negative comment. Athaiyum slow motionla kaati - apparam singer reactionaiyum slow motion la kaatitu - Parents kitta kaatanum. Then if possible incite a fight between the contestant's parent and the Judge - to make the show more interesting.
Namma makkalukku ithu thaane pidikkum.
Tamizhanaache.
Naama Nandu thaane.
After all, ithaane namma Pozhappu.

Soon there will be 5 singers in the final. Anjume theraathu enbathu vera vishayam. Five singersoda backgroundaiyum marubadiyum podanum. Sentiment Carda play pannanum. Appo thaane vote vizhum. Galla Kattum.

Oru 30 lakhsukku Veedu onnu kudukkaaranaame.. Athula Real Estate Advertise pannravanukkum laabam. He will also sell all of his flats quickly. Kadaisila emaanthathu yaaru ?

Thattula Sothaa vechukittu, Atha Family kooda pesi kazhikkaratha vittutu - aaaaa nnu vaaiya polanthu TV paarkira Tamizhane - Ithuvallavaa un Pozhappu.

Vaazhga Tamizh.
Valarga Nam Makkal.
Valarattum Cable Samraajyam.

If you find any of the above comments to be rude - then do me a favor - go to the IBCC website and book the program under offensive category before even bothering to comment.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011 by Hari
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Don 2 - Poda ! All attai copy, ee adichaan copy only ...

Just finished watching Don2.

Can't believe Farhan Akhtar took 2 years to make this shit. What you make a montage of all the famous movies in town means - you are one big directora ? hunh ?

Phirstu Kaapi - Plate Stealing - Thambi, ithellam naanga A Team padathuliye paarthaachu, Oru Tea Sollitu Kelambu.

Secondu Kaapi - Tom Cruise maathiri mask ellam potta - orey Thrilla irukkumnu nenachaangala ? Kaattu Mokkaiya irunthathu... Aama theriyaama thaan kekkaraen.. If you wear a mask your face will change, agreed, But you will get super-sexy physique and you will become 4 inches taller, this part I never knew. Farhan Akhtar - Sollave Illa... Eppothilurnthu .. ?

Thirdu Kaapi - Mission Impossible Part 1 mathiri - Fire Engine ellam ready pannarthu , Alarm adikka vidarathu, Pressure Sensitive Floor ellam - dai dai.. Alave illlama poidichu da neenga copy adikarthukku ...

Fourthu Kaapi - That last corridor fight sequence - Attai Copy from Matrix. Even the moves are copied !! Ditto Keanu Reeves mathiriyae valippu vantha mathiri SRK will move. You watch na.

Pipthu Kaapi - After the Sunset mathiri, thannikku adiliye swim ellam panni escape aavaraam.. Dai Dai.. Oru padatha vittu vaikka maateengala da.. ?

Side Note : Aama theriyaama thaan kekkaraen.. antha kizhathukku innuma dialogue neenga maathala ? Avan intha padathulaiyum vanthu - "Yeh Naamumkin hai" - "Don ab tum pulice ke hawaale ho" - "Roma, Don ek khatarnaak mujrim hai" - Dai, antha aal paavam da.. konjam respect you can show and give him some new dialogue no..
Mothathula, Farhan Akhtar solla varathu ennanna - Kadaisile Kettavan Vaazhvaan !!
Farhan Akhtar enna Simbu Fan a ?
Yaar Kanda.. Intha mathiri ellam padam edutha, avar Tamizh Padangal thaan inime direct pannanum.

Edit : -

And that scene where SRK blows up a police van - Machi, attai copy from Die Hard 1 - where they send out a laser beam to destroy a tanker. Merry Christmas, Ho, Ho, Ho !!!!

Final Verdict -

If you have not watched any of the movies mentioned above - go and watch the movie - you will enjoy it.
If you have, Don't waste your time. Its bullshit.

Note :- What ? Surprised a ? After this, like this only I will be writing. You want to read means read. :P

Sunday, December 25, 2011 by Hari
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Walter Isaacson's - Steve Jobs

tl;dr - Not impressed.





The book is loooooong and unnecessarily boring. Those who are going gaga over the book, probably haven't read "iCon". This book seems to have shamelessly ripped off pages from iCon. I guess Isaacson's editor was holidaying in Honolulu when he ok'ed the book.

Come to think of it. We already know every single story that we ought to be knowing about Apple's genius. Including that "fewer the chips - more the money" and the way he never told Wozniak about that fees which he never paid Wozniak. The ouster from Apple - among other things.

This book only eulogizes Steve Jobs. I hardly find a mention of the bad Steve Jobs which Isaacson claims to have written about. Not that I did not enjoy reading the book, but going through the same details again and again was a bit painful. I do appreciate the effort that Isaacson took to bring out the book, albeit in quite some haste to time with Steve's death.

The book does not provide any great insights, to me atleast. It's an ok read that just took hell a lot of time to complete.

My take ? - Don't buy it. Read the excerpts from various magazines - they are all out there.

And as for the quotes - One good quote -

Good Artists Copy - Great Artists Steal.

Monday, December 5, 2011 by Hari
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Movies !!!

Watched about half a dozen movies last weekend. One after another.


Vithagan - I liked the movie. A lot. Much better than all that brainless shit that comes out in the name of Tamil Cinema. Parthiban's nailed it in this movie. His sarcasm and the tongue in cheek smile all suit his character. More than his police character - I liked the look and youthfulness of his Rowdy character. But I wish he had not overdone it. The dyeing of hair and the weight reduction, all showed up perfect in the characterisation, but that boyish twinkle could have been avoided. Oru Villain Lookae varala..

On the other hand, Parthiban is a perfect candidate for menancing Villain Roles in Tamil Cinema. I think he can play it big. As for the movie - climax romba overa irunthathu. Till the climax, the story twists and turns fantastically. I loved it. Vithagan is definitely a good watch (compared to all those gems that I watched)

Mayakkam Enna - Kuppai. Itha pathi thaniya oru blog postae podanum - viraivil . Intha commenttkku apparamvum neenga poi intha padatha paarthittu.. ennoda FB Wall feedla - Machi padam supernnu comment panneenga... *tha yerangi vanthu adippaen...

Ides Of March - Everybody is going gaga over it. Pretty much run of the mill stuff. Romba overa hype kuduthirukkaanga... Yeah, George Clooney is super smart. Period.


The Three Musketeers - Nice graphics - Worth a watch - for some wry humor. Good action. All the leading ladies looked quite pretty. The King however looked so effeminate. Can watch for some good timepass.


In Time - Excellent story - but squandered away the advantage by having a pathetic screenplay. This could have been sooooo way better. Starts well and then suddenly loses control over the rest of the story. The climax could have been more clearer.


Unknown - Man.. this one took the cake. Excellent movie. Fantastically tight screenplay with perfect amount of twists and turns. Liam Neeson plays the perfect undercover agent who simply forgets his cover in a freak accident. Totally mindblowing movie. Must Watch !!!



by Hari
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The Clay Pot - Review - Mud Tastes Better !!!

Guys, If you ever want to take out your vengeance on someone - please take them to The Claypot and make them eat their vegetarian fare.

I am being very honest here. Make them eat it. If they don't ... bloody shove it down their throat.
I am not a big stickler for cleanliness and stuff - but when the white cups in which Mirchi Ka Salan and Raitha comes are yellowish brown - owing to oil stains over months together - I felt like puking.

On top of this, the waiter is justifying that this is not the kind of dirt that can go away by repeatedly washing. If you are looking to make a case study on "How to exhibit pathetic Customer Service" - please come here. The waiter doesn't serve - saying its Self-Service !!!

Don't fuckin' order Vegetable Biriyani here !!
It's microwaved. WTF !!!

I am not paying friggin' 140 bucks to eat that microwaved shit. Atleast if that tasted good, I would've kind of swallowed my anger. It tasted like mud.

And don't even get me started on the Chapatti... I would have whole heartedly eaten toasted bread instead of having to eat that chapatti ...

Fuck you guys - if you wanted to run a "parlor" cum "smoking joint" cum "hangout place" cum "make-out-place" cum "ahem-ahem" place for rich kids - please do so. Don't put up a restaurant sign and effing piss me off !!

You don't even have a proper wash-room in place ? WTF !!

BTW - the "Restaurante" in question is next to the "Gymkhana Club" on the LV Prasad Marg - Hyderabad.

AVOID IT LIKE THE FUCKIN' PLAGUE !!!!

Friday, December 2, 2011 by Hari
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