EUPHORIA

When Sudhish Kamath did a Anand Ramachandran and failed

2012-01-02T10:26:00.002+05:30

Just finished reading an insanely awful piece of shit by Sudhish Kamath. Here is the link.

To sum it up - He put Aranya Kandam in the tenth spot and Mankatha at second spot.
I would have forgiven even this part - if only he had not done the unthinkable.

He rated Velayutham as the Number one movie of the Year - WTF ???!!!!
When all the reviewers in the country have trashed the movie left, right and centre and even the "Vaayal Vadai Sudum Vijay Fans" page on Facebook is getting awesome troll content for the movie - How is Velayutham the number one movie ?

Even that would have been forgiven - but this -

"Dhanush showed us why he's becoming one of the country's finest actors with a gloriously restrained performance"

is Blasphemy.

I would love to do a "This is Blasphemy" a la 300 and push Sudhish Kamath into a pit where he is forced to watch Thulluvatho Ilamai,Sullan, Dreams, Puthukottailirunthu Saravanan and Vengai (just to name a few) for the rest of his lifetime. Seriously WTF ??!!!

I assume Sudhish Kamath had Feviquik on his seat when he went to watch Velayutham, worse, were his palms greased ?
In this age and day, Paid Reviews are not uncommon. But at what cost ?
Pity that we are still putting up with this Shit !!!
Enna Kodumai Sir Ithu ?
Seriously, how else could you explain that Nadunisi Naaigal or Poraali or Deiva Thirumagal or Azhagarsaamiyin Kuthirai missed out on one of the spots.

I am now tempted to believe that Sudhish Kamath tried to do a Anand Ramachandran and failed miserably.

Note : For the uninitiated Anand Ramachandran writes on Cricket at Cricinfo. His posts are laced with sarcasm and are hilariously funny and punny. (oops)

Thank you IT Folks and College Students !!!

2012-01-01T21:01:00.005+05:30

My sincere thanks to IT Folks and College Students for partying heavily on 31st evening (i.e Yesterday)

I had the most awesome darshan at Chilkur Balaji Temple yesterday.
In fact, I was in the sanctum Sanctorum for almost 2 minutes - which is literally an eon - when compared with the fact that the crowds to this temple are swelling in number. And The Sone pe suhaaga part was that even the Pradakshina crowd was pretty thin - Enough space and plenty of time to do my pradakshinas - Peacefully.

Thank You IT Folks and College Students - If it wasn't for you guys partying so hard on 31st night, forgetting your visas and onsite trips and all that extra money that you guys would be making - I would not have gotten this opportunity - Thanks a lot once again !!!

Another thing that came to my notice is that - there is a hush-hush story about writing your details on the temple wall. I was told by a person in authority that if you write anything on the temple wall, other than the lord's name - then it was highly likely that your visa might be cancelled, and you might be asked by the lord to come again and again.

So, unless you wish to get your visas rejected multiple time - Please do not deface the Temple Walls. Saami Kanna Kuthidum.

मैं रुपया हूँ - पाण्डेय बेचन शर्मा उग्र

2012-01-01T20:33:00.004+05:30

Happy New Year Folks !!

Before I put up other blog posts on how my past year was and other controversies - I thought I'd do my readers a favor.

Presenting below, one of my most favorite pieces of prose.

Fortunately or Unfortunately I did not study this piece in my academic career. My sister did. However when I heard her recite it the first time itself, I knew that this piece was something to be reckoned with. That textbook got dusty and was later thrown away, but as usual, yours truly, truly (er excuse me !) and exceptionally made a hand written copy of that piece. Thanks to Google Transliteration - Here goes the Hindi Version of this Magnum Opus by Paandeya Bechan Sharma Ugra.

मैं रुपया हूँ - पाण्डेय बेचन शर्मा उग्र

मैं लड़कों के लड़कपन का खिलौना हूँ, मिठाई हूँ|
मैं जवानों की जवानी की जान हूँ, मस्ती हूँ|
मैं बूढों की बुढोथी की लकड़ी हूँ, सहारा हूँ, मैं रुपया हूँ|

मनुष्य मेरा ग़ुलाम है| मैं उसे हज़ार नाच नचा सकता हूँ, नचा चुका हूँ, नचा रहा हूँ|
दुनिया मुझसे दबती है| मैं उसे उलट सकता हूँ, उलट चुका हूँ, उलट रहा हूँ|
प्रकृति मेरी वशवर्तिनी है| मैं उसे बनता हूँ, बिगाड़ता हूँ, तोड़ता हूँ, मोड़ता हूँ, मैं रुपया हूँ|

इस विशाल विश्व में अगर कोई इश्वर हो तो मैं हूँ,
धर्म हो तो मैं हूँ,
मैं सत्य हूँ, मैं शिव हूँ, मैं सुन्दर हूँ
मैं सत हूँ, मैं चित हूँ, मैं आनंद हूँ
परलोक मैं हूँ, लोक मैं हूँ, हर्ष मैं हूँ, शोक मैं हूँ, क्षमा मैं हूँ मैं रुपया हूँ|

मेरी झनझनाहट में जो अलौकिक मधुरिमा है,
वह वीनापाणी की वीणा में कहाँ ?
भगवन लक्ष्मीपति के पाञ्चजन्य में कहाँ ?
कोकिल कल काकली में कहाँ ?
कामिनी के कोमल कंठ में कहाँ ?
मुरलीधर की सुरली में कहाँ ?
डमरूवाले के डमरू में कहाँ ?
मृदंग मुरचंग में कहाँ ?
सितार जल तरंग में कहाँ ?
यहाँ कहाँ , वहाँ कहाँ ?
मैं सप्त स्वरों के ऊपर अष्टम स्वर हूँ, परम मधुर हूँ, मैं रुपया हूँ|

गीता के गायकों,
चंडी सप्तशती के पाठकों,
भागवत के भक्तों,
सत्यनारायण कथा के प्रेमियों,
रामायण के अनुरागियों,
महाभारत को मानने वालों,
मेरा गीत गाओ, मेरा पाठ पढो, मेरे भक्त बनो, मेरी कथा सुनो, मुझसे अनुराग करो, मुझे मानो, मेरी शरण में आओ, तारण तरन मैं हूँ,
भव भयहरण मैं हूँ,
अशरण शरण मैं हूँ,
जन दुखहरण मैं हूँ,
धवल वरण मैं हूँ,
मंगल करण मैं हूँ,
पुन्याचरण मैं हूँ,
मैं रुपया हूँ|

मुझको आँख दिखाकर, मुझे ठुकराकर , मुझसे विद्रोह कर कोई बच सकता है ? कोई नहीं|
ज़मीनदार मैं हूँ, बादशाह मैं हूँ, बादशाहों का बादशाह मैं हूँ, मैं रुपया हूँ|

लंका सीता की रुष्टि तुष्टि से नहीं, मेरी रुष्टि तुष्टि से जली थी| मैं विभीषण पर प्रसन्न था |
कौरव द्रौपदी के कोप से नहीं, मेरे कोप से नष्ट हुए थे |मैं पांडवों पर प्रसन्न था |
जर्मनी , अमेरिका या ब्रिटिश की चालाकी से नहीं, मेरी धूर्तता से पराजित हुआ|ब्रिटेन पर में प्रसन्न था |

ठाकुरजी बोलते नहीं, मैं बोलता हूँ|
उनसे बड़ा हूँ|
ठाकुरजी चलते नहीं, मैं चलता हूँ|
उनसे मेरी अधिक साख है|
देवताओं में वह आकर्षण नहीं, जो मुझमें है|
ईश्वर में वह तेज नहीं, वह शक्ति नहीं है जो मुझमें है|
यह युग तर्क का है , उदाहरण का है, प्रत्यक्ष का है, स्वयंप्रभुता का है|
मैं प्रत्यक्ष हूँ, सदयः फल का दानी हूँ, स्वयं प्रभु हूँ, ईश्वर से बड़ा हूँ, मैं रुपया हूँ|

मुझसे वरदान लेकर पाप करो, तुम देवताओं से पूजे जाओगे| मुझसे वरदान लेकर एक दो नहीं सात खून करो, साफ़ बच जाओगे|साम्राज्य को साम्राज्य से भिड़ा दो|मनुष्य की बढ़ी हुई खेती को बेरहमी से कटवा डालो, जलवा डालो|संसार को विधवाओं, बच्चों, बूढों और अपाहिजों की हाय से भर दो|भूकंप उठा दो, मगर मुझसे वरदान लेकर, मैं सर्वशक्तिमान हूँ|

सर्वधर्मान परित्यज्य मामेकं शरणं व्रज

सब धर्मों को छोड़कर, मेरी ही शरण में आ जाओ - क्योंकि मैं रुपया हूँ|

Of Arseholes, ShitEaters, MF's and Traffic Cops !!!

2011-12-30T12:07:00.003+05:30

I guess being a Traffic Cop in Bengaluru is the worst job in the world.
Worse than Pimping your own Mother and sister.
Oru Maanam Ketta Pozhappu ...

The reason why I am seething with rage is because of this video -

The Traffic Constable is bullying the lady like hell..
And the worst part is someone is telling the lady - "Don't argue with the cop" - Thoo...
Ivanellam enna pannalaam..
(Tying a 2 kg weight balls to his and make him stand the whole day - sounds like a good option BTW.)

The best comedy is later in the video..
Eppadi Eppadi ? Pillion Rider must also wear Helmetaama ..
Aiyyo Aiyyo .. This guy seems to be a Modern Day Saami's Traffic Constable.
Kannada theriyala na ? Enna Venumnaalum Pesuvaanaama ?
Some one is going to show him a "Moone Mukkal" Some day, Otha annikku thaan ivanukku buthi vara poguthu...

Ngothaa Dei ..

And If you have a problem with the language of this post - Before you even comment - See if you can take some action against that Traffic Cop - Otherwise you are free to STFU.

STAR Vijay's Programs - One Big Rant

2011-12-28T23:14:00.004+05:30

To say it in one word - Its a SCAM.

To say it in some more words - We fed this monster and now its eating us.

I read this on a fb profile and was tempted to comment there. I refrained.

"கோடீஸ்வரர் நிகழ்ச்சியும், அம்பானியின் நம் கோமனத்தை உருவும் தந்திரமும்.........ஆம் இந்த நீங்களும் வெல்லலாம் ஒரு கோடி நிகழ்ச்சியில் பன்னும் தகிடுதனம் பற்றிய முழு அவேர்னஸ் ஆர்டிக்கள்... விஜய் டீவி நிகழ்ச்சியில் அம்பானி என்கிருந்து வந்தார்னு கேக்குறிங்களா, இந்த நிகழ்ச்சியில் ஒரிஜினல் தயாரிப்பாளர் அம்பானியின் கம்பெனி "பிக் சினர்ஜி" எனும் நிறுவனம் தான். ஏற்கனவே ஸ்டார் நிறுவனத்தின் தலைவர் பன்னிய ஃப்ராடுதனத்தால் அதன் பிரிட்டிஷ் நிறுவன சி ஈ ஓ சிறைக்கு இரண்டு மாதத்திர்க்கு முன் தான் சென்றார். இப்பொழுது இவர்கள் அம்பானி கம்பெனியுடன் சேர்ந்து நடத்தும் பகல் கொள்ளை தான் " நீங்களும் வெல்லலாம் ஒரு கோடி" நிகழ்ச்சி.....

முதலில் இவர்கள் கேட்கும் கேனைத்தனமான கேள்விகளுக்கு நீங்கள் குறுஞ்செய்தி அனுப்பவேண்டும் அதை அனுப்ப ரூபாய் 3 முதல் ஐந்து வரை வசூலிக்கப்படுகிறது அது போக அவர்களை தொடர்புகொள்ள சில ஸ்பெஸல் நம்பர்கள் உள்ளன இது ஒரு நிமிடத்திற்க்கு ரூபாய் 6.99 வரை சார்ஜ் செய்யபடுகிறது.... இவர்கள் தினமும் 30 - 35 கோடி வரை இந்த குறுஞ்செய்தி மற்றூம் டெலிபோன் காலில் சம்பாதிகின்றனர். அதாவ்து பப்ளிக் டெலிபோனிலிருந்து நீங்கள் போன் செய்தால் அது செல்லாதாம், ஆபிஸில் இருந்து போன் செய்தாலும் செல்லாதாம், வீட்டில் மட்டும் இருந்துதான் போன செய்யவேண்டுமாம் அப்பதான் உங்கள் டெலிபோன் பில்லில் இந்த கொள்ளை சார்ஜ் வரும் நீங்களும் பணம் கட்ட வேண்டும்.... இது ஒரு லாட்டரி பிஸினஸை விட மிக பெரிய கொள்ளை ஆம் 35 கோடி இதன் மூலம் வருமானம் மற்றும் விளம்பரம் எல்லாம் சேர்த்து ஒரு நாளைக்கு 40 கோடிக்கு மெல் வருமானம், இதை நம் தமிழ் ஹீரொ வக்காலத்து வாங்கும் காரணம் அவருக்கு டெய்லி ஒரு கோடி ரூபாய் அதனால் நம்ம மக்கள் முட்டாள் ஆனால் அவருக்கென்ன கவலை தமிழனுக்கு இந்த படம் பார்த்தால் திமிறு வரும்னு சொல்லி மிளகாய் அரைச்சாச்சு இப்ப இந்த குறுஞ்செய்தி, ஸ்பெஸல் நம்பர் டெலிபோன் கால் மூலம் தினமும் கொள்ளை, இதில் குளிர்காய்பவர்கள் அன்றாடம் காய்ச்சிகள் இல்லை அம்பானியும், முட்ராக்கும், சூர்யாவும்தான்.

இந்த 37 பக்க கேமின் டெர்ம்ஸ் அன்ட் கன்டிஷன்ஸ் (Terms & Conditions) படியுங்கள் (www.asknagravi.com/orukodi) அப்புறம் நீங்கள் முடிவு செய்யுங்கள், இல்லை நான் என் காசை கரியாக்கியே தீருவேன் என்று கங்கனம் கட்டி கொண்டு குறுஞ்செய்தி அல்லது கால் பண்ணினால் "ஒன்னும் செய்யமுடியாது". உண்மையிலே அறிவு சார்ந்த நிகழ்ச்சியாக இருந்தால் எதற்க்கு இந்த ஸ்பெஸல் நம்பர் டோல்ஃப்ரீ நம்பர் அல்லவா கொடுக்க வேனும்..... தயவு செய்து வீட்டில் இருக்கும் டெலிபோனை பூட்டி வையுங்கள், குழந்தைகளுக்கு எடுத்து சொல்லுங்கள் போன் பண்னவேண்டாம் என்று மொபைல்களை தெரியாதவர்களிடம் கொடுக்க வேண்டாம்.... தயவு செய்து எவ்வளவு முடியுமோ அவ்வளவு பகிருங்கள் மக்களுக்கு உண்மைகளை எடுத்து சொல்லுங்கள் நான் பப்ளிக் லிட்டிகேஷன் போட முயற்ச்சி செய்கிறேன்,

இதன் ஆடியோ வெர்ஷனையும் கேளுங்கள்......... நன்றியுடன் நாகராஜன் ரவி 27.12.2011

All this is fine, but why the uproar now ?

Hasn't this been the strategy of every TV Channel in the country since the time Cable TV came to India ?

I do not blame the service providers or the Serial's producers. Why ? Why should I blame them ? When we are the ones to be blamed...

We want entertainment.

We want Filmstars to come on TV Shows and mingle with the Public.

We want some real-life Drama with lots of azhugai and wisumbal.

We are willing to pay for it. (Atleast that's what I assume)

Cable TV ellam Tamizhnaatukku varathukku munnadiye - DoorDarshanla Maapillai alangaramnnu sollitu - Neraya thanga nagaigala parisa kudukkala ? Just imagine this - These were the Pre 1996 days when mobile Phones were entering the Indian market (One Black Coffee Please - Era) - when people used to book Trunk calls to talk STD and those with limited STD used to count minutes when someone else used to talk via them. People used to call DD and tell the answers and then the unfortunate many would send in their answers (only "Pottikkaana Thabaal attai" will be accepted - that DD Director will say) and then "kulukkal muraiyil" they will select. Ithellam ennathu ? Lottery thaane ? Ponzi Schema ? Kaettaa - This is a game of Luck and not skill nnu dialogue ellam viduvaanga ...

After DD, Sun TV started this practice. Yaen, Sarath Kumar Varala - Naan Ready .. Neenga Ready a ? Sollitu .. Appo enga ponaa unga Tamizhan ? Enga pochu ungalukku Buddhi ? Enga pochu unga Poruppunarchi ? Kodeeswaran Muthiraiya payanpaduthunuma ?

4 Lakhs worth jewellery. 10 Lakhs worth Car and other gifts. Raj TV followed suit. Everybody had contests. Government saw this as an awesome opportunity. Even the reviews of TV Serials had to be sent in only on Pottikkaana Thabaal Attai - The Government minted money in this exercise as well.

I do not know what happened but slowly this Deepavali Bumper Gift giving practice stopped. But by then other modes of competition stepped in. SMS and Phone Calls started their own trend. Telecom operators also saw this as an awesome opportunity. They started giving "special numbers" kaettaa - corporate connections - multiple lines etc nnu they gave lot of gas.

Now that the TV Channels had the Telecom Operators under their thumb - who also gave them a fair share of their earnings - the game began in full swing and has been continuing ever so.

Another Rant here...

Case in Point - SuperSinger

STARVijay has an amazing rotation policy. First 6 months of the year - it will run the Adults Super Singer - the next 6 months it will run the Junior Super Singer. Regular Income guaranteed. And guess who is the title sponsor ? Of course, another Major Telecom Service Provider.

First 6 months - The adults will tell all their friends and families to watch the program.

The Second 6 months - The kids will tell all their friends and school teachers and an entire set of schools will watch the program. And the kids parents will call up their onnu vitta maama and chithappa's in America at 3 and 4 in the morning IST to tell them to view their son/daughter's singing that Friday.

The hardly 3 week (21 Day) show is dragged and stretched across for 6 months (21 Weeks) -

that includes

Profiling of the singer's dog.

His wardrobe.

How many baniyan jattis he has.

How many holes the singer's father has in his socks

How much abject poverty they are in

How both the parents are working and the singer is so responsible and learning all by himself.

How he is a "chamathu kointhey" and all by half a dozen maamis from Mylapore.

And don't forget those awesome Voice Training Sessions that he will undergo.

Repeat the above process for the top 20 contestants. Quickly eliminate 10 bad singers and 3 good singers. Now the elimination of the 3 good singers will be talked about wildly. More TRP's. More people will send in their SMSe's and Calls to the special numbers. The channel will now know, it has to air more such episodes. While the shooting of those "special" elimination episodes is going on - the channel will air the above mentioned controversial episode [as if it had nothing to do with it] in absolute slow motion with reactions of the parents and public from various angles and their takes on it. Itha vechae oru rendu episode ottidalaam.

Note : The elimination of the 3 good singers is done purposefully. Illana Wild Card Roundla Vaththalum Thothaluma vanthu nikkume. So by cleverly "eliminating" 3 good singers they know that they will have good competition. And imagine this, at the fag end of the season - when they are entering Quarterfinal rounds - it will definitely do good to have the friends and family and relatives of the 5 or 6 eliminated contestants to boost their own TRP's.

Intha kodumai inga mudiyathu illa. It goes further.

The Judge will give some negative comment. Athaiyum slow motionla kaati - apparam singer reactionaiyum slow motion la kaatitu - Parents kitta kaatanum. Then if possible incite a fight between the contestant's parent and the Judge - to make the show more interesting.

Namma makkalukku ithu thaane pidikkum.

Tamizhanaache.

Naama Nandu thaane.

After all, ithaane namma Pozhappu.

Soon there will be 5 singers in the final. Anjume theraathu enbathu vera vishayam. Five singersoda backgroundaiyum marubadiyum podanum. Sentiment Carda play pannanum. Appo thaane vote vizhum. Galla Kattum.

Oru 30 lakhsukku Veedu onnu kudukkaaranaame.. Athula Real Estate Advertise pannravanukkum laabam. He will also sell all of his flats quickly. Kadaisila emaanthathu yaaru ?

Thattula Sothaa vechukittu, Atha Family kooda pesi kazhikkaratha vittutu - aaaaa nnu vaaiya polanthu TV paarkira Tamizhane - Ithuvallavaa un Pozhappu.

Vaazhga Tamizh.

Valarga Nam Makkal.

Valarattum Cable Samraajyam.

If you find any of the above comments to be rude - then do me a favor - go to the IBCC website and book the program under offensive category before even bothering to comment.

Don 2 - Poda ! All attai copy, ee adichaan copy only ...

2011-12-25T19:49:00.005+05:30

Just finished watching Don2.

Can't believe Farhan Akhtar took 2 years to make this shit. What you make a montage of all the famous movies in town means - you are one big directora ? hunh ?

Phirstu Kaapi - Plate Stealing - Thambi, ithellam naanga A Team padathuliye paarthaachu, Oru Tea Sollitu Kelambu.

Secondu Kaapi - Tom Cruise maathiri mask ellam potta - orey Thrilla irukkumnu nenachaangala ? Kaattu Mokkaiya irunthathu... Aama theriyaama thaan kekkaraen.. If you wear a mask your face will change, agreed, But you will get super-sexy physique and you will become 4 inches taller, this part I never knew. Farhan Akhtar - Sollave Illa... Eppothilurnthu .. ?

Thirdu Kaapi - Mission Impossible Part 1 mathiri - Fire Engine ellam ready pannarthu , Alarm adikka vidarathu, Pressure Sensitive Floor ellam - dai dai.. Alave illlama poidichu da neenga copy adikarthukku ...

Fourthu Kaapi - That last corridor fight sequence - Attai Copy from Matrix. Even the moves are copied !! Ditto Keanu Reeves mathiriyae valippu vantha mathiri SRK will move. You watch na.

Pipthu Kaapi - After the Sunset mathiri, thannikku adiliye swim ellam panni escape aavaraam.. Dai Dai.. Oru padatha vittu vaikka maateengala da.. ?

Side Note : Aama theriyaama thaan kekkaraen.. antha kizhathukku innuma dialogue neenga maathala ? Avan intha padathulaiyum vanthu - "Yeh Naamumkin hai" - "Don ab tum pulice ke hawaale ho" - "Roma, Don ek khatarnaak mujrim hai" - Dai, antha aal paavam da.. konjam respect you can show and give him some new dialogue no..

Mothathula, Farhan Akhtar solla varathu ennanna - Kadaisile Kettavan Vaazhvaan !!

Farhan Akhtar enna Simbu Fan a ?

Yaar Kanda.. Intha mathiri ellam padam edutha, avar Tamizh Padangal thaan inime direct pannanum.

Edit : -

And that scene where SRK blows up a police van - Machi, attai copy from Die Hard 1 - where they send out a laser beam to destroy a tanker. Merry Christmas, Ho, Ho, Ho !!!!

Final Verdict -

If you have not watched any of the movies mentioned above - go and watch the movie - you will enjoy it.

If you have, Don't waste your time. Its bullshit.

Note :- What ? Surprised a ? After this, like this only I will be writing. You want to read means read. :P

Walter Isaacson's - Steve Jobs

2011-12-05T17:27:00.005+05:30

tl;dr - Not impressed.

The book is loooooong and unnecessarily boring. Those who are going gaga over the book, probably haven't read "iCon". This book seems to have shamelessly ripped off pages from iCon. I guess Isaacson's editor was holidaying in Honolulu when he ok'ed the book.

Come to think of it. We already know every single story that we ought to be knowing about Apple's genius. Including that "fewer the chips - more the money" and the way he never told Wozniak about that fees which he never paid Wozniak. The ouster from Apple - among other things.

This book only eulogizes Steve Jobs. I hardly find a mention of the bad Steve Jobs which Isaacson claims to have written about. Not that I did not enjoy reading the book, but going through the same details again and again was a bit painful. I do appreciate the effort that Isaacson took to bring out the book, albeit in quite some haste to time with Steve's death.

The book does not provide any great insights, to me atleast. It's an ok read that just took hell a lot of time to complete.

My take ? - Don't buy it. Read the excerpts from various magazines - they are all out there.

And as for the quotes - One good quote -

Good Artists Copy - Great Artists Steal.

Movies !!!

2011-12-05T16:08:00.002+05:30

Watched about half a dozen movies last weekend. One after another.

Vithagan - I liked the movie. A lot. Much better than all that brainless shit that comes out in the name of Tamil Cinema. Parthiban's nailed it in this movie. His sarcasm and the tongue in cheek smile all suit his character. More than his police character - I liked the look and youthfulness of his Rowdy character. But I wish he had not overdone it. The dyeing of hair and the weight reduction, all showed up perfect in the characterisation, but that boyish twinkle could have been avoided. Oru Villain Lookae varala..

On the other hand, Parthiban is a perfect candidate for menancing Villain Roles in Tamil Cinema. I think he can play it big. As for the movie - climax romba overa irunthathu. Till the climax, the story twists and turns fantastically. I loved it. Vithagan is definitely a good watch (compared to all those gems that I watched)

Mayakkam Enna - Kuppai. Itha pathi thaniya oru blog postae podanum - viraivil . Intha commenttkku apparamvum neenga poi intha padatha paarthittu.. ennoda FB Wall feedla - Machi padam supernnu comment panneenga... *tha yerangi vanthu adippaen...

Ides Of March - Everybody is going gaga over it. Pretty much run of the mill stuff. Romba overa hype kuduthirukkaanga... Yeah, George Clooney is super smart. Period.

The Three Musketeers - Nice graphics - Worth a watch - for some wry humor. Good action. All the leading ladies looked quite pretty. The King however looked so effeminate. Can watch for some good timepass.

In Time - Excellent story - but squandered away the advantage by having a pathetic screenplay. This could have been sooooo way better. Starts well and then suddenly loses control over the rest of the story. The climax could have been more clearer.

Unknown - Man.. this one took the cake. Excellent movie. Fantastically tight screenplay with perfect amount of twists and turns. Liam Neeson plays the perfect undercover agent who simply forgets his cover in a freak accident. Totally mindblowing movie. Must Watch !!!

The Clay Pot - Review - Mud Tastes Better !!!

2011-12-02T10:04:00.002+05:30

Guys, If you ever want to take out your vengeance on someone - please take them to The Claypot and make them eat their vegetarian fare.

I am being very honest here. Make them eat it. If they don't ... bloody shove it down their throat.
I am not a big stickler for cleanliness and stuff - but when the white cups in which Mirchi Ka Salan and Raitha comes are yellowish brown - owing to oil stains over months together - I felt like puking.

On top of this, the waiter is justifying that this is not the kind of dirt that can go away by repeatedly washing. If you are looking to make a case study on "How to exhibit pathetic Customer Service" - please come here. The waiter doesn't serve - saying its Self-Service !!!

Don't fuckin' order Vegetable Biriyani here !!
It's microwaved. WTF !!!

I am not paying friggin' 140 bucks to eat that microwaved shit. Atleast if that tasted good, I would've kind of swallowed my anger. It tasted like mud.

And don't even get me started on the Chapatti... I would have whole heartedly eaten toasted bread instead of having to eat that chapatti ...

Fuck you guys - if you wanted to run a "parlor" cum "smoking joint" cum "hangout place" cum "make-out-place" cum "ahem-ahem" place for rich kids - please do so. Don't put up a restaurant sign and effing piss me off !!

You don't even have a proper wash-room in place ? WTF !!

BTW - the "Restaurante" in question is next to the "Gymkhana Club" on the LV Prasad Marg - Hyderabad.

AVOID IT LIKE THE FUCKIN' PLAGUE !!!!

Audio Review - Don 2 v/s Ladies (v/s) Ricky Bahl

2011-11-19T22:22:00.004+05:30

tl;dr - The winner is Ladies (v/s) Ricky Bahl - by a long long way

Now getting down to nuts and bolts.

Don 2 is nothing but crap. Crappiest is what I would call it. Never thought SEL would come up with something like this - for a film touted to be the most awaited film of 2011 - and for a film that is expected to take a super-duper-bumper-week-long-opening of Christmas + New Year - This has to be Epic Lamest effort of all.

Three of the 9 tracks - are nothing but rehashed versions of - "Mujhko pehchaanlo - main hoon don" from Don (1). The two theme songs are equally lame.

Surprisingly, (lack of any reason) - I am actually livid that this release does not have a single listenable track. What a pity !!! :( :(

On the other hand - Ladies (v/s) Ricky Bahl is a neatly packaged bundle - aimed only at the college going crowd - and for that reason - it rocks !!!

My personal favorite is Jazba - sung by Shilpa Rao (The same girl who sang Udi Udi Ittefaq from Pa) - I somehow find the song to be a tad sensual because of her voice. The remix is nice to listen as well.

Jigar da Tukda - sounds like a "adjust kar lo yaar" that has been forcefully added to the album. Fatal Attraction - fatally does not appeal.

Aadat Se Majboor - Jazba - Thug Le - All three are gems !!

Period.

What the F**k is the problem ?

2011-10-11T17:10:00.003+05:30

You, Yes You !!!

What the F**k is the problem ?
Why do you always have to take people for granted ?
Why is it you never find the time to respond properly ?

Forget me. I've stopped giving you the "f***ing" attention that you crave. Why ? Because, honestly, you cannot give attention to someone and secondly you don't deserve the attention. [This blog is not for venting out my frustration - but its more like a OMG, people are still wishing you for your birthday on your FB page types].

And what is it with this "Oh-I-Treat-These-Guys-Like-Puppies-And-See-How-They-Still-Keep-Running-Behind-Me" treatment you are handing out to guys ? You think that's endearing ? My apologies that I am restraining myself from using the exact word that I wish to use here.

Honestly, You don't deserve nice guys... Not one. LOL - Having 1000+ friends on Facebook is pointless - mainly because its "Face"less. How many have you really really interacted with ? You meet somebody once at some meet, Add him on FB, even share your phone number and then be all "Oh-I-met-him-at-a-meet-da. He's-hitting-on-me-too-much-da." types. Seri..Athaan avan thaan jollu vidaraannu theriyarthulla ... apparam enna avan kooda kadalai vendikedakku ? (Im)Politea FB la unfriend panna vendiyathu thaane ? Illa Call panni solla vendiyathu thaane - Sorry not interestednnu...

How many times do you check email in a day - Once ? Twice ? OK.. Let's just say thrice ? - You cannot respond to an email or what ? By Now, I realise that you cannot respond to an email on time. That is different. Respond- Atleast. What do I call that ? Apathy ? Indifference ?

I've warned you before, I warn you again - This attitude is gonna give you a lot of pain - And I mean the pain-you-know-where. And it will be not be something that you will relish remembering.

I'll tell you what. You will get a good job. And I sincerely pray You get treated like Shit. And by this I mean - real shit. And then you'll realize the importance of "the importance which people give to you."

Just because you've faced certain difficulties in life and life has not entirely been a bed of roses for you - Does not necessarily mean you dole out the same shit to everybody. Agreed. Life has been tough - OK. Agreed. I empathize and sympathize. Now move on. Don't effing give me attitude.

And no, I don't fucking care if its your birthday or not !!!

"Those who write soft porn should not dream of becoming a cult writer"

2011-10-05T12:18:00.001+05:30

That in essence was what Mr. Maranayana Noorthy had to say when he read Betan's Tweet that went, "It is ironic when someone who runs a body shopping company and calls it hi-tech, makes sweeping comments on the quality of IIT students."

Mr Noorthy had only one comment to make, which went, "For someone who makes his living by writing soft-porn, the cult-writer status is almost cringe-worthy."

Our special correspondent reports that lately, Mr. Chagat has been consistently "trying desperately" to hog the limelight, apparently begging for some publicity for his new book, "Bharat Chodo 2020". Apparently the book is all about Chodo, err.. Not the leaving wala Chodo, but about the err... Forget it. Rumors are abound in the market, that the Publishing campaign for the book is going to take the country by storm and that Deepika Publishers have decided to supply one packet of Kohinoor condoms along with every copy of the book purchased.

Insider reports also suggest that there are quite a few "steamy" scenes in the book, which would make great "matter" for a movie.

We can now be sure that Betan is not a name that you can take lightly.

Sub(way) Below !!!

2011-10-02T13:18:00.005+05:30

Now to start with - This Subway ALWAYS (read as GODDAMN EFFING ALWAYS !!!!) something or the other "Not-In-Stock".

Now before we get into all that, here is the background of what prompted this post.

The exact location of the subway in question is shown below. This is the subway that is present "below" the ICICI Bank branch - Madhapur (which is basically Kondapur).

I have one meal per week at Subway - This is usually the Sunday Afternoon one. And here is what has happened in the past 6 weeks.

6 Weeks back : "Sir, Hearty Italian is not available"

5 Weeks back : "Sir, We have only Honey Oats. All our breads are getting baked."

4 Weeks back : "Sir, Except for Parmesan Oregano and Honey Oat, everything else is available." Why ?. "Sir, no stock available"

3 Weeks back : "Sir, Sweet Onion sauce out of stock sir."

2 Weeks back : "Sir, Aloo Patty(ie) not available Sir."

1 Week back : "Sir, Toaster not working."

Yesterday : "Sir, Toaster not working."

If to get a toaster fixed it takes one Subway 10 days, then shall I pay the cost of my FootLong Veggie Delite in 4 installments ?

The person-in-charge gave me the reason as "Sir, the Technician will come from Delhi and fix it sir. It will take some time."

This attitude of "Adjust kar lo sir.." "Chalega Sir" is what is causing this outrage.

Exactly what do you think of your customers ? Nincompoops ?

First of all, train your staff to behave politely to their customers and to LISTEN to the orders. Each one is dumb in his own right.

At a time when Brands are getting crazy about their reputation online and where every conceivable brand has a Facebook and Twitter Page, here comes our way - You guessed it right !!! SubWay India !!!

Here is a screenshot of their Facebook and Twitter Pages ...

Just imagine this - When Subway in general as a brand has more than 8 million followers, how come SubWay India hardly has an active page ?

And when you try to complain on their subway.co.in site, it takes you to their U.S site, where you have to fill a dozen fields only to get a "404" request or a "Sorry, your data could not be saved."

Seriously ... WTF is going on ?

To sum it up, this is incompetency, impotency and lethargy at its very best. Way to Go SubWay !!!!

Qvendo, 50 Grand and 1 Crazy Buyer !!!

2011-10-01T10:49:00.004+05:30

This post is written in response to the Qvendo's - If you had 50,000 what would you buy from Qvendo and why ?
All Descriptions of art and artwork are real and exist.

50 Grand for shopping. Just Imagine !!! And to shop at Qvendo, boy, I'd actually kill to get to do that.

For THE Man (that's me :) )

I liked the White and Rose Shirt - Perfect for a Saturday Brunch with my girl and her friends. Gives me that cool and classic edge. This has pretty stiff competition from Armani's dark demin jeans - Now that's a killer combination !!! So the end result of that exercise would look something like this....

Hey this jeans needs an awesome belt and what better than a Lawrence Grey ? And luckily there is still ONE belt left in the category which I believe is providence smiling upon me, and so I quickly grab one. Now let's see what we've got... Hmmm.. Pretty Impressive.

Now A man like that cannot go without a coat, can he ? And what better than theSack Coat by Tommy (yes.. of Hilfiger fame :P)

Let me see, I think a pair of shadeswill give me this "Don't take me lightly baby" look. So here it goes into my collection.

Now to pay for all that long elaborate lunch that I am planning with my girl, I need to have an elegant wallet to show off, isn't it ? After all Isn't a man known by how he carries his money in his wallet (never mind, I invented that). So here goes a Porsche into my collection.

And after all this is done, you don't expect me to walk bare-footed to a luncheon where my girlfriend's been waiting to introduce me to her friends. Do you ?

Let's complete the man (err... No pun intended) So here goes a Hamlet Derby Shoe - I prefer the Vintage Grey version. It goes well with the Dark Denim Jeans and does not make me look like as if I stepped right off the street.

Now, let's calculate.

Armani Jeans | Valentine Shirt | Tommy Hilfiger Sack Coat | Hugo Boss Shades | Lawrence Gray Belt | Porsche Cognac Purse | Hamlet Derby Shoe

Sigh.. Quite a list ain't it ?

Now with no offense to MasterCard

Armani Jeans and Valentine Shirt - 14,100 Rupees
Hamlet Derby Shoe, Porsche Purse, Lawrence Gray Belt - 16,400 Rupees
Tommy Hilfiger Sack Coat and Hugo Boss Shades - 17,500 Rupees
Total : 48,000 Rupees

Expression on my face when I imagine myself wearing all of this - WoW that's 50 Grand well spent :)
The smile on my girlfriend's face when she'll introduce me to her friends - PRICELESS !!!

P.S :- If you are wondering what happened to the other 2K , I'd buy this (an antique Silver Purse) for my girl. :P

Now, THAT is an awesome way to spend 50 Grand in 10 minutes.. :) :D

P.P.S :- All references to people(read - girl, girlfriend, lady) are fiction and merely co-incidental !!! :P

Mujhse Fraandship Karoge - Audio Review

2011-09-23T14:18:00.003+05:30

First Things First, Hats Off to Raghu Dixit for living up to his name and composing the music for this movie.

Pick of the Album for me would be - Dheon Dheon (Oh Yes, It is THE most epic awesomest song that I've heard this year)

This was be followed by Uh-Oh-Uh - This is the sweetest song of the lot. Very Very Cute. Interesting use of vocals.

Baatein Shuru - is different. Its some sort of a rebellious song. I like the usage of guitar(?).

Choo Le - Looks like to be a rehashed version of "Scotty Doesn't Know" for the first one minute - But it makes up for it later. Not Impressed though.

Har Saans Mein - Typical Raghu Dixit - Sounds a lot like - Hey Bhagwan - His own composition. But come on, give the man his credit, his vocals are enough to put any doubts to rest. He is here to Stay !!! :)

Uh-Oh-Uh Remix is like hacking-murdering-and-chain-sawing of the Original Song. Same comments for Choo Le Remix as well.

Overall an excellent Album - Hats off to Raghu Dixit.

And Yes, I do rate it higher than Ra. One. - 9/10 :) :D

Edit : Added as an afterthought - Uh-Oh-Uh sounds slightly like "Natchatira Paravaikku from Paramasivan(?)"

Ra - One -- Pretty Good !!

2011-09-23T11:34:00.000+05:30

Listening to Ra One songs now.

I do not see the rationale for releasing 5 (yes, you read that right, its F.I.V.E) versions of Chammak Challo - Seriously ? Vishal-Shekhar, Are you so desperate to make that song a hit ?
It sounds nice and definitely is going to be the chart-buster.

But My pick of the Album is Dildaara... It's very...ummmm what's the word ? Different ?
Yes, I'll settle with that.

Criminal IS going to be the most-played song in Discos this last quarter of the year.

Another surprising pick of the album is Bhare Naina - It's very soothing - I guess there is a heavy Coke-Studio influence. :P

Right By Your Side - is something like - Kal Ho Na Ho - there has to be one Happy-Go-Lucky Track in SRK movies - otherwise Image Damage right ? :P

Raftaarein - Pathetic.

Jiya Mora Ghabraye - In the attempt to create something creative, they've botched this one completely - Heavily "inspired" by the MATRIX SoundTrack.

Light Theme - This is shameless actually, Imagine Mission Impossible Theme + James Bond Theme together, played with something that sounds like a chant. The least they could have done was to avoid that Dhan-Te-Nan Feel to it. And what was that part of including Tipu-Sultan music as well ?

I'm On - seems to be a continuation of the Light Theme - looks like they forgot to put the two together.

15 Songs ...

- Out of which 5 Songs are the same song. So count that as One song. (5/1)
- Criminal has two tracks - Count that one as well.(7/2)
- Dildaara, Bhare Naina, Right By your side, Raftaarein, Jiya mora Ghabraye - (12/7)
- 3 Theme songs - none of which sound impressive to me - so not counted.

So basically we have an album of 7 songs. Of which you can say 5 are really good. :)

I give it 8/10 - purely for the intelligent packaging.

"I may never get laid, but I will not stop watching Porn." - Betan Chagat

2011-09-21T22:19:00.002+05:30

You can hate the collection at debonairblog.com or compare it to IndiaOfTimes site, but one thing you cannot do is to ignore the Satan, err.. We meant Betan Chagat. It was more than evident in the kind of reception he got at the "India Watches Porn - A Brief History of Time since Vatsyanan to DesiBaba." It was befitting that of a pornstar and why not ? After all, for the kind of books he has written, He has probably done to millions of Indians what Pamela Anderson did to Stacked - Helping people Get off. Err.. Let's not get into more details of this now.

Speaking on his journey as a writer (which he claims himself to be) Chagat spoke about the publisher whom he first met, and who also published his first book. "Indians cannot write good "stuff"" was the general opinion at the time. And this Publisher, who borrowed his manuscript, called up at 4 in the morning to buy the rights. Chagat recalls, "He was so excited. He was jumping with joy literally. He said, I am getting off right now. But you come and meet me tomorrow in office. I think he meant getting off the taxi or something." He paid me 400 rupees for the manuscript. I called it The SeedMaker - He called it Mastram. The name stuck, and they began to be known as Mast-ram ki kahaaniyaan."

He said that there was a huge pressure on him to perform. When he expressed his interest in writing in Hindi, his editor was aghast, but thanks to Twitter and Facebook comments, his editor had to back out. "That was a moment when I connected with the masses. I mean, they wanted that stuff. Yes, sometime people criticize that I do not provide them quality stuff. But then, I don't just serve the elite audience. My readers need variety - so I write. My characters range from the common mazdoor's longing and banging err... sorry, pang-ing, to the uber-cool youth on the roads of Mumbai. But Let me make it clear, I do not expect appreciation for doing this. I may not get laid, but that does not mean, I will stop watching porn." Chagat said amidst loud cheering by his fans.

Chagat talked about his new book -- India Chodo 2020 -- coming out soon. The title goes with the tagline of "Chodo Chodo aur Chodo". He explained that it was a book unlike his earlier ones. It deals with how these three things (hunh?) drove the youth and those coming from small towns. He also dwelt in great detail about the dilemma facing the youth -- whether to do "it" or not to do "it". Unfortunately, he said, that such a question arose because of the structure of the society. "Why should doing it be any different ?" He said that he was hoping that things will change and soon people will start selling his books on trains and buses.

He felt strongly about the lack of good writers in the subject. He felt that only 10% of the audience had access to good material and the others were left at the mercy of fan fiction or every other Tom, "Dick" and Hari's imagination.

Chagat said that he has achieved success and knows that he can entertain people. Now he wants to challenge himself and see whether he can change the thinking of the people. He is writing controversial and thought provoking stories. "I am not here to put people to sleep, but to shake them out of slumber, excite them, make them do it ". Chagat has also been invited by Dr. Sivaraj Sivakumar (of Raj TV Fame) for giving motivational talks to his patients and providing "medical relief" to his patients. "I am glad my books are helping patients." Chagat says with a smile.

About what drives him, Chagat says that one needs to have an "eye" for things and note things in detail. Being a "youth icon" he said, put certain pressures on him. "They do not want me to write genuine romantic literature. I will write about sex scenes because I like. I want the creative freedom. I don't have to write a moral science book. WTF."

This article was "inspired" by This. B.R.I.N.G I.T. O.N !!! :) :D

50 Things we learnt from Hollywood movies... :)

2011-09-08T18:47:00.001+05:30

An old forward, but funny nevertheless... :)

1. All telephone numbers in America begin with the digits 555.

2. Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.

3. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there, and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.

4. Any person waking from a nightmare will sit bolt upright and pant.

5. It is always possible to park directly outside the building you are visiting.

6. A cough is usually the sign of a terminal illness.

7. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

8. No matter how badly a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

9. The more a man and a woman hate each other, the more likely they will fall in love.

10. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.

11. Cars that crash will almost always burst into flames.

12. A cup of black coffee or a splash of cold water in the face is enough to render the most inebriated person stone cold sober.

13. If you try hard enough, you can outrun an explosion.

14. If you stick your head out of cover during a gun fight, it will never be hit, especially if you look backwards to hold a conversation with someone behind you.

15. Police Departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are assigned partners who are their total opposite.

16. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.

17. You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

18. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.

19. Computers never display a cursor on screen but always say: Enter Password Now.

20. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.

21. All watches and clocks are synchronized to the second.

22. No matter how fuzzy the photograph, it can be enlarged and enhanced to show the finest detail.

23. Nearly everyone speaks English, no matter where they are from. Even aliens from outer space, despite the fact they have never been to Earth, seen an Earthling, or even heard of Earth or Earthlings.

24. No matter how catastrophic the disaster, pets will always survive it.

25. There will always be a doctor in a plane or building with the right medical supplies.

26. No matter how dead you think you’ve killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least three more times.

27. People rarely use the bathroom, and if they do, they’re usually dead within minutes.

28. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communication systems of any invading alien civilization.

29. Cemeteries generate their own weather. Usually rainstorms… and not just gentle sprinkles, but biblical downpours.

30. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a bill — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

31. Most people keep a scrapbook of newspaper clippings — especially if any of their family or friends have died in a strange boating accident.

32. Cars that fly off cliffs spontaneously combust in midair for no apparent reason.

33. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.

34. All computer disks will work in all computers, regardless of software.

35. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment that it is aired.

36. Close blood relatives usually look nothing like each other, or have only a passing resemblance.

37. Any lock can be picked by a credit card or a paper clip in seconds — unless it’s the door to a burning building with a child trapped inside.

38. When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.

39. An electric fence that’s powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.

40. If your town is threatened by an imminent natural disaster or killer beast, the mayor’s first concern will be the tourist trade or his forthcoming art exhibition.

41. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts — your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

42. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating, but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.

43. If you are trapped in a tunnel, in a sinking ship, or a burning building, a cute little girl, a nun, and a feisty granny will be trapped with you.

44. All writers are wealthy; all publishing companies are glamorous; all artists are self-supporting and have large attractive well-lit loft studios.

45. Action heroes never face charges for manslaughter or criminal damage despite laying entire cities to waste.

46. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

47. If an expert makes a prediction and is disbelieved, then it will come to pass exactly as he predicted. If he makes a prediction and is believed, it won’t happen.

48. If there is a large bump in a downhill road, a speeding car will fly over it and hit the ground in shower of sparks. Unsecured passengers will not be injured, and no tire damage, broken axles, or suspension failures will occur. The car will then execute a sharp turn involving a skid.

49. Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.

50. Text appearing on a computer monitor appears letter by letter and making a sound as if it was produced by a typewriter.

59 ? - Seriously Indiblogger ?

2011-08-26T11:59:00.003+05:30

A couple of minutes back I received a mail from Indiblogger Team about my IndiRanking.

The mail, (gleefully) noted the fact that most ratings have gone down on Indiblogger and it was not a matter of concern.

The actual text was

If your rank has decreased by 5-6 points for no apparent reason, don't worry, as it has dipped for 70% of the blogs on IndiBlogger after the upgrade.
IndiRank has been upgraded!
IndiRank now incorporates mozRank, which makes it more reliable and dynamic.

And I was like, LOL ...

What BS !!!

I do not know what rationale Indiblogger does to rank their blogs. The explanation given here is comical, In fact I find it quite childish, rather immature.

I do not know about other bloggers, but am sure, that am not gonna post any more things on Indiblogger. And nor am I displaying their widget on my blog either...

My Ranking has slipped from a one time high of 79 to a paltry 59. From among the top 125 Personal blogs on Indiblogger, to being somewhere in the thousands.

Reason why I am pissed.
Last month, I received highest traffic for my "Date a Guy Who Reads". It was cross-referenced (more than 2000 times) from Tumbler, Other Blogs, FaceBook (CoinJoos had shared it), and as well as on StumbleUpon. That page alone contributed to more than 6000 pageviews and Indiblogger has conveniently chosen to push the ranking down.

My PageView count has gone up from a nothing 48K to a whopping 59K in just a month !!! Boss, this is more traffic than most of the top blogs in your 100 list. Duh !!!

EKSI !!!!

How He Met My Mother - Sundaran Neeyum, Un Maamiyaar Veedum

2011-08-11T19:52:00.000+05:30

Author's Note :: Kathaikkum Titlekkum Enna Sambandamnnu enkitta Ketkaatheenga !!
I decided that "this" was going to be the the title of this post, after a conversation that I had yesterday with the protagonist of this story. Some other titles that I had initially thought of were

Sundaran Neeyum, Thiruvaathirai Kaliyum

Arudra Darsinamum, Thiruvaathirai Kaliyum

Jaathagamum - Thiruvonam Avittam Sathayamum.

Paththula Guruvum, Ashtamathu Saniyum.

Roatla pora Saniyanum, Atha Baniyanla Vitta Kathaiyum.

(Er.. Forget the last one.. its already reserved for another post. :P)

But I preferred the one which I have right now..But come-on, Does it really matter ? :) :D
BTW, the real Sandhya Hates "How I Met Your Mother" :P

Sundaran Neeyum, Sundari Nyaanum - Part 1

The story so far...
Sandhya and Ravi have "fallen" for each other. Sandhya confides her love to her Amma, who (in the most indirect way) puts it across to her Appa. Her father agrees to see Ravi, and warns Sandhya that he will OK the varan only if he and Amma are completely satisfied with the boy's nature.

Ini ...

Saturday vanthathu ...

Amma toh bilkul tip-top dressed up. From 12 PM enga Amma appadiye, arakka parakka dressing thaan. Saturday anikku special Facial ellam vera. I was gaping at her. She didn't even dress up like this for events in her college.
"Ennadi paarkara ?"
"Paro, ennathu ithellam ?" Sometimes, I call my Amma by name, on days I think, we really bond -which is perhaps like Eid-ka-chaand types. Her name is actually Parvati and Appa actually used to call her Paro, during their courting days and for the period, till I was born. The only good thing is, after getting married, Appa didn't pick up the bottle. I picked it up from there - err.. not the bottle, and called Amma Paro, in typical Dilip Kumar and SRK ishtyle.
"Hey, chumma iru di..."
"Chic-nnu dress, kazhuthula necklace, thalaiyila dye, Paro, unna paartha yaarume, unakku 45 aayiduthunnu solla maata..."
"Adi vaanguva.. 44 thaan aagarthu..."
"Athu seri.. Ethukku ivlo make up ellam ? Ravi, enna thaane paarka varaan..."
Amma picked it up almost immediately, and I corrected it an instant too late .. "varaaru... varaaru.."
"Inga paaru di... Neenga ungalukkula enna venumnaalum konjikonga, vada-poda, jaanu, chellam, sweetheart, kondhey, enna venumo kooptuko, aana enga munnadi, intha konjarathu ellam vendaam..."
I knew Amma was a lecturer, but she was so-up-todate with college lingo, yeh toh mujhe pata hi nahin tha.
I was totally red in the ears.
"Enna ? puriyartha ?"
"Hmmm.."
If I thought this was embarrassing, I was totally totally wrong. The worst, as they usually say, was yet to come.
And Amma was already playing mind-games.

Ravi came. Apdiye Pazham maathiriyae vanthaan. Thank God !! Varna toh, Amma would have munji suzhichified.
Waise this is another thing, that If Ravi came wearing Pattai and Veshti, she will say, "Ennadi ithu, Kovil Archagar mathiri vanthirukkaan"nnu..
My Amma introduced my Appa to Ravi.
"Ivar thaan enga aathukaarar, Sandhya oda Appa - Mr. Subramanian. "
"Hi Uncle, I'm Ravi !! "
"Hello"
Then there was this awkward silence.
"I am working in Satyam as Senior Technical Analyst"
"Oh !!" - That was my father. Aetho naanga yaarume avar kitta sollatha maathiriyum, avarukkae ippo thaan theriyavarra mathiriyum.
"Satyama ? Fraudu Company !!!" vera yaaru, enga Amma.

Round 1 - Score ::
Amma = 150 for hitting the First Ball for a Six and for taking "enemy at the gates" by surprise, + Bonus 10 points for using the "u" at the end of Fraud to make it totally Tam-Brahmical.

Ravi almost laughed. It was actually a condescending sirippu. I toh was totally face-palming. Amma hates people smirking.
"Fraud company ellam illa aunty..."
"Pinna ennapa, ithana perukku velai poiduthey..."
"Yethana perukku velai pochu unga companyla..." - Enga Appa.
"Enakku therinju oru 300 peru iruppa uncle"
"Sambalam ellam correcta vaangariya pa ?" - Enga Amma.
I felt like saying, Nahin, yeh khane peene ke liye ATM se paise churata hai.
"Athellam correcta thaan vaangaraen Aunty" - asattuthanama oru sirippu.
Amma hates to be called Aunty. Meri galti ki I didn't warn Ravi about this.

Round 2 - Score ::
Ravi = -25 for laughing condescending first, another -25 for that asattu sirippu, another -25 for calling Amma, Aunty.

Wanting to extend the conversation a little longer.
"Neenga enna panreenga Uncle ?"
"Avar Director, AppSoft"
"AppSofta ... Kelvi pattaa mathiryae theriyalae..."
Appa's face toh like raisin sukudufied. Amma was Surajmukhi murjhafying.
"Err... It's a startup" apdinnu my Amma covered up.
"Hmm.. Neenga enna panreenga Aunty ?"
Normally, if someone asks my mother where she worked, she'd say "Working as a Lecturer."
But yahaan toh izzat ka sawaal tha. And Hone-wale-Daamad ke saamne toh, bilkul no-vittukuduthfying. Ponnu aathukkaaraanna onnum salaichava illa.
So Amma Says, "B.Tech, Civil Engineering - Government College of Engineering, Tirunelveli"
Background musicum, Padayappa Ramya Krishnan style la Kaal-mela-Kaal pottu sollaalathu mattum thaan korai, matha badi, epdi irunthathunaa... Saami padathula, Vikram "AaruChamy - Deputy Comissioner of Police, Thirunelveli City" nnu solra mathiri irunthathu.
"Presently working as Lecturer in A.Q Engineering College." she completed.
Ravi was like shocked. "Oh.!!!" avlo thaan. It was Ravi's munji-chinnatha-poiduthu moment.

Round 3 - Score ::
Ravi = -100 for kichad uchaalofying on Appa's company. Another -25 for Second usage of Aunty. Net score = -125
Amma = +500 points for successfully Nilai-Naatufying-Ponnu-Aathukkaara-Maanam.

Oru Ball kooda vilaiyaadama HitWicket aana orey batsman, en Raviya thaan irukka mudiyum. I was toh totally kanna kaatufying. FacePalm onnu mattum thaan pannala. But as they say, if it is gonna happen, its gonna happen.

"Entha collegela padicheenga ?" My Appa was giving mariyathai and all. To the outsider toh aisa lagega ki he was giving all respect. But in reality, he was being sarcastic.
"IIT-Madrasa ? Illa Kharagpur a? IIT Kanpurna vasadhiya pochu ... En Naathanar ponnu, Sulochanavum anga thaan padikara"
"IITya ? Aiyyayo, IITkkum enakkum romba thooram Aunty. Naan IITlam padikala."
"Appo CEG Campusa ?"
The Blank look on Ravi's face said it all.
Two pairs of eyes look at each other in total understanding. No, those were not that of mine and Ravi. They were actually Amma and Appa's. I could almost see their eyes smirking.

Round 4 - Score ::
Appa = 20 for initiating the "oppukku-chappani" conversation.
Amma = 50 + Bonus 25*2 for nozhachufying IIT and Anna University in the conversation + 25 for bringing in the uravukaara angle in it as well. Total Score = 125
My Chellam - Yet to open Account.

"Appo enga padicheenga ?" Again mariyathaiyaamaa - enga Appa.
"Mona engineering college, uncle."
"Mona Engineering collega ? Where on earth is that ?" that was my Amma. With All Bhaav and Accent. You should see my Amma talk to her students. Athey mathiri she was talking to Ravi. Condescending is actually an understatement.
"Mannargudi Aunty."
"Amma Appa ellam enga irukka ?"
"Sontha ooru Thanjavoor. But ippo Amma Appa ennoda Gurgaon la thaan irukka."
"Oh, Neenga Thanjavura ?" - Appa was genuinely interested to know that Ravi was from his region.
Amma gave him one morai. And he settled back to the newspaper.
"2008la naanga Thanjavur vanthirunthom. Ivar Mama paiyyanukku Kalyanam anga ... orey puzhuthi... Enga Sandhyakku orey Dust allergy. Hmmm, kalyanam pannindu eppadi adjust panna poralo ... " -My Amma trailed off.
My blood was boiling. This was so unfair. My Chellam was getting hit, left right and centre. :(

Round 5 - Score ::
Appa = +50 but due to "expression of interest in sontha ooru and result of which was Amma's Morai" -50, hence Net 0.
Amma = +100. For successfully keechad uchalofying on the Candidate's home town.
Chellam - Yet to open account in this round as well.

Then Amma continued, "Eppo pa B.Tech mudicha ?"
"Aunty, Naan B.Tech Illa, - B.E"

Round 6 - Score ::
Ravi : -50 (for the obvious reasons)

"Oh, B.Tech Illaya, B.Ea ? B.E - Computer Science is a good course any day you know."
"Aunty, Naan, Computer Science edukalai, Chemical Engineering."

Round 7 - Score ::
Amma : +25 (for Successfully destroying Candidate's credibility and confidence)
Ravi : -50 (for the obvious reasons)

"Hmmm... Eppo pa B.E. mudicha ?"
"2007 la aunty"
"Oh.. ippo thaana... three years back, Hmmm, Theriyuma 2007la thaan Sandhya kooda 10th paas panina..."
Shit. Ippo yaaravathu ithellam kaettala ?

Round 8 - Score ::
Amma : +25 - for successfully making the Candidate aware of his age.

Note :: Ithu varaikkum en Aalu oru score kooda positivea edukkala.
I said, "Amma..!!!!"
"Ennadi, Time evlo fasta poguthunnu sonnaen di.. "
Time to change topic.
"Ravi, Coffee Sapidriya...er... Sapidreengala..." Arey, bahut ajeeb lagta hai rey... Phone pe toh, we've fought and even maa-behn ek kar diya.. ab jaake enna vaanga-pongo-utkaarungo...Bingo Mad Angles Ad ke jaisa... Kuch bhi kya ?
"Illa parava illa"
"Enna parava illa, Amma, konjam coffee pottu konduvaayen.."
"En di, ithu kooda naan thaan pannanuma... Ithellam kathukkaama nee ellam maamiyaar aathukku poi enna koopa kotta poriyo"

Round 9 - Score ::
Amma = +25 (for successfully exposing my inability to cook or do any other kitchen activity). Bonus 50 for vambukku-izhuthifying my udupi mamiyaar. Net Score = 75
[For the uninitiated, udupi ~ corrupted form of "Would-Be"]

"Athellam paarthukkalaam Aunty... Onnum prachanai illa.."
Amma was like .."Oh.. serippa, unakku entha prachanaiyum illa, aana naalaikku unga aathukkaara yengala paarthu keliya pesa maataala ? Samaikka kooda kathu kudukkama, ava amma katti kuduthuttannu ?"
"Seri, ithukku thaan ippo Raviya vara sonniya ?" I asked.
"Sandhya, Ippo nee naduvula pesatha, let us talk.." - My father spoke. Ippo thaan avarukku nyabagam vanthathu pola, avar thaan ponnoda appannu.
When My Appa says, "Let us talk" trust me, it is like kuch bahut bada locha hone wala hai.
The next half an hour my appa was advising both of us. I was only hoping that it would not end up like "Dad Speaks, Ravi Listens and Sandhya Goes On."
For the uninitiated, Read this.
Oru conference roomla Bullet points pottu PPT podala. Bas usi ki kami thi. Mathabadi, all bhaashan only Appa was giving.
He was like, "Un vayasula, I was supporting my entire family. I was working for 16 hours a day. I had only two sets of clothes"
Now it was my Amma, "Pothum Pothum, neenga unga puraanatha start pannatheengo.. Ivar ippdi thaan pa... Yaaravathu kadaichutta pothum, ippadi mokka poda aarambhichiruvaaru..." - Note how Amma used college-lingo "mokkai" in the middle of the conversation. Hip hunh ?
Ravi started giggling. #EpicFail
Udupi Maamanaara kindal panna, as "Hone-Wala-Daamad" he should support na... Ulta, he also laughed.
Enna sollirukkanum.. "Cha cha, athellam onnum illa Aunty... Parava illa Uncle neenga sollungo.."
But what did he do ? He kind of aamothichufied what my amma said, which means, He agreed, that my father was one Mokkai Murugan, err.. Mokkai Subramanian.

Round 10 - Score ::
Appa = +50, for scoring some opening runs. And of course for that "apne-pairon-pe-khade-hona" story.
Amma = +100 for successfully luring the Candidate to the trap and successfully trapping him.
Ravi = -100 for indirectly calling my father a "Mokkai-Murugan" and falling into the trap laid out my mother.

Then of course, Amma was after his Kulam, Gothram, Jatti, Baniyan.
She did not even spare his onnu-vitta-chinna-athai's-maamiyaar's-naathanaar-peran.
End of the conversation she (and myself) realised that Ravi was related to me in a somewhat convoluted way. Irony was that it was not in some "athai-paiyyan", "maama-paiyyan" murai. More like Perippa/Chittappa Paiyyan..
Shit... This was not the way I wanted the conversation to go.
I kanna kaatified to Ravi to change the topic.
And change the topic he did. He looked at the framed photo, behind Amma. It was actually a color photo. And he said,
"Sandhya, you look a lot like your mom in that photo. And you look so beautiful"
I was about to say "Dude, that IS my Mom and yes, she is beautiful."
I was sure, Amma was about to say "Duh", but that is when Ravi had Guru-smiling-from-the-tenth-house in his horoscope.
Amma was all blushing. "He He.. Athu Sandhya illappa, Naan thaan. 10 years back eduthathu..."

Round 11 - Score ::
Amma = -25 (Yayyyy !!!) actually for letting down her guard.
Ravi = + 100 Appada... Finally some respite for Jaanu. Usne mori laaj rakh li. Knowingly or un-knowingly he uchi-kulurnthufied Amma. Hence Chellam opens the account !!! :)

"Oh... Neenga kutcheri ellam pannuvela maami."
I was thinking, "Dai, nee periya aala varuva da.. Correcta nool vidara"
Did you notice how he found out what was the weakest link ? and note the "maami" connect. Smart Guy, varna, how can he patoafy me ? Right na ?
"Kutcheri" and "Maami" were the two key-words that day. Platea kavukkarathu neenga kelvi thaan patturupeenga. I was witness to it that day.
"Acchcho... athellam illa da Kanna... Aetho nalla paaduvaen. Sathagam ellam pannuvaen. Sandhu kooda nalla paaduva.." -
I was thinking, "Kanna va ? Athu seri... Paro... ithellam konjam overa illaya ?"
When Amma is in good mood, she calls me Sandhu. So, it was clear, Amma was on cloud nine.
"Ava paadi naan kettrukaen aun..err.. maami.. Neenga paadi kaettathillai.. Enakkaga oru paattu paadungalen.."
I was thinking, "Ada paavi. Mera Haath maangne aatha hai, aur meri hi mummy pe line maartha hai.. Saala...Ithar kya Bold and Beautiful ka Audition chal raha hai Kya ? Meri Mom koi Desperate Housewife nahin hai.. kuch bhi kya ?"
He looked at me and his expression was like, "Main kya karoon Jaanu, ek ball se kitne sixer maar sakta hoon. Situation ke mutabik, game plan change karna padta hai yaar."
I kannu kaatufied that "Hmmm... seri seri... whatever it is, don't jollu vittufy too much. Her husband is also here."
Then I said to myself, "Beta, tu bahut door ki soch raha hai.. Lage Raho !!!"

Round 12 - Score ::
Amma = -100 for letting her guard down, and succumbing to "aaha-kkaaram".
Ravi = +500 (Massive victory for chellam in this round.. Yayyy !!!), +100 for getting Amma to call him Kanna, - 100 for line adichufying maamiyaar (chiii !!! solrathukkae kevalama irukku .. ) So Net Result +500.

Then toh Amma was like, "Paata ? Naana ?" Amma was like all Nakhra kaatifying.
I was thinking, "Hmmm... Paro, Nadathu Nadathu..."
"Naan paadi romba varusham aachu kanna.. "
I said myself, "Haan Haan... "Bombay"Parvati jo ho aap."
"Aun.. err.. Maami, enakkaga, oru rendu line.."
"Saathagam ellam pannama paadina, nalla irukkaathu pa..."
Ravi was immediately pouting, you know, jaise meri maa ke gaane se uska jeevan dhanya ho jayega types.
Now it was time for me to put an end to this nautanki.
"Amma, Paaden.. Chumma en ivlo bihu pannikira..."
Ravi grabbed the opportunity, "Illa Sandhya, parava illa, Its ok... Enakku kuduthu vechhathu avlo thaannu nenaichikiraen.."
Ada paavi... Inga paarra... Santhula Sindhu paadarathunna ithu thaana ?
"Seri, Aetho Ravi kaettathukkaaga..naan paadaraen"
I thought, "Nalla irukku Paaro, avan kekkara mathiri kekkarathum, neeyum bihu pannikarthum... adadadada.. Maamiyaarum, Marumaganum, Drama company nadathalaam."
I totally forgot Appa in this mess. I guess, He was oblivious to the entire drama. Poor fellow, this was perhaps the first time, since his marriage 20 years ago, that he got 20 minutes all to himself, without having to listen to his pondatti. And trust me, Appa made the best use of this opportunity. He dissolved into the newspaper.

Round 13 - Score ::
Amma = -100 for allowing Ravi to makhan-lagofy her.
Ravi = +100 for making Amma totally palta maarofy. +100 for his superior "grab-the-opportunity" skills. Net Score = 200.
Appa = Retired Hurt.

Then Amma sang. Ravi was totally "aaha-ohofying". I was thinking, "Abbey, chod na.. kyun paka raha hai."
After the song, "Aun..err.. Maami, supera paadareenga... Neenga Kutcheriyae pannalaam.."
Amma was all, "He He.."
I was thinking "All's well that's sings well".

Now that Ravi knew exactly what knobs to turn, he was playing Amma along. Then he threw in the next dhamaka.
"Maami, Antha photola irukaruthu, neenga thaana ?"
"Aama ppa.. Yen kekkara..."
"Illa Maami, 10 years aachunnu sonnengalae, ippo kooda antha photola irukira mathiryae irukeengale, athaan kaettaen.."
Ada paavi.. Muzhu poosanikkava kooda sothula maraichidulaam pola irukkae, ivan panra alambal thaangala da saami...
Now Amma was going to remember this for the rest of her life, making this particular statement as the topic of conversation. And if Ravi and I got hitched, this was going to be heard countless times by my kids. Arrrrggghhhh !!!!
My Amma started blushing. Just Imagine. BLUSHING !!! I was like "WTF". If the conversation had proceeded on the same lines for two more minutes, I would have BPL'ed Ravi myself.
For the uninitiated, BPL --> Bum Pe Laath.
But Amma also onnum chumma illa, "Santhu kooda appo 6th standard la thaan iruntha.."
Athaane paarthaen, Parova kokka... Rendu perum, orutharukkoruthar salaichava illa.

Round 14 - Score ::
Amma = -100 for urugifying for the photo comment. +50 for making comeback and reminding the candidate about this age. Net Score for Amma = -50
Ravi = +200 for successfully trapping the prey into the jaal. [Athavathu, (no-ball) SIX +(extra-ball) SIX !!] -50 for getting the "age-bulb". Net Score = +150.

"Saaptu po kanna... Santhu, saaptu po-nnu sollaen di" - Now toh Kanna was coming in every line from Amma's mouth.
"Illa Aun.. Err.. Maami... Parava illa... Friends ellarum wait pannuva... Naan kelambaraen.."
"Hmmm..Seri ppa.. un ishtam.." Amma half heartedly let him go.
Actually I am toh totally convinced that she wanted him to taste the sojji-bajji and get "Maami, Supera irunthatu.. Intha mathiri naan saaptathey illa... " makhan only. And Ravi was one Saapattu Raaman... I tell you.. Khair, woh sab baatein baad mein...
"Santhu, poi gate varaikkum kondu vittuva..."
Then, as Ravi descended the steps to our flat, Amma called out from Doorstep,
"Ravi..."
"Maami.. ?"
"Vodka ellam 2 shotskku mela saapta udambukku keduthal. Paarthu... Alavva... Seriya ?"
Ravi asked me under his breath, "Enna di ithu, nee ethavathu sonniya.."
I innocently shook my head. But internally I was happy. Ivan vitta jollukku, ivanukku ithuvum thevai, innumum thevai.
Then Amma delivered the parting shot.
"Next time, Facebookla photosa tag pannum bothu, vaanthi edukura photos ellam tag pannatha pa... Sagikkala..."
Shit. #EpicFail Moment for Ravi. Ravi was totally red in the ears. Amma na Amma thaan.. See how she waited till the last minute. I tell you, "Villathi Villi" only my mom is.
"Ahnnn...Apparam, Sandhya Amma naan kudikaratha kandupidichittannu romba feel ellam pannatha.. Its fine. Intha kaalathu pasanga ... You are bound to be like that." - Apdiye Lecturer impact.

Round 15 - Score ::
Amma = +200 for delivering the final knock-out punch. +50 for being tech-savvy and for stalking her "daamaad". +50 for giving the Lecturer Lecture.
Ravi = -50 for not being able to hide his weakness for Absolut Vodka !! Another -50 for vaanthi-eduthufying and tagging the photo on Facebook. Net score -100.

After all this drama, The final result is

Ravi = 500
Amma = 1025
Appa = Oppukku Chappani.

So it was clear Amma was the Winner of the Show-down !! With Amma delivering more knock-outs than what Ravi did, inspite of all his jollu vittufying and makhan lagofying.

Amma later came to me and said, "Intha paiyyan, enakku OK di. "
I was like "Unakku OK na ? Enakku puriyala. Correcta sollu. Un Purushan kochikka poraaru.."
"Romba pesara di... "
"Seri, vanthavana, er... sorry, vanthavara avlo asinga paduthina apparamavum, oknnu solriyae. Enakku onnum puriyalae..."
"Evlo adichaalum thaangikiraan di... Ivan Romba nallavan di.."

Later, I over-heard, Ravi telling his Best Friend,
"Machaan, Oorula pathu-pathinenju girl friend vechurukkaravan ellam santhosama irukkaan da, orey oru ponna love panni, ava ammava handle panrathukkullaa, naan padara avasthai irukkae... ayoyoyoyoyoyo..."

So, ippadi, enga Amma kittayae Nallavannu pattam vaangina apparam, vera ethukku waiting ?
Next Stop :: (En) Maamiyaar Veedu !!!

I had planned a Part 3 to this series. Which I believe will be the concluding part.
However, I am in no position to say whether Part 3 will be funny or sad or neutral.
If you'd like to read a part 3, please leave a comment !!! :)

Absolutely No Offence Meant to
Engineers from Colleges in Mannargudi,
Folks working in Satyam, and
Tam-Brahms who drink Absolut Vodka.

Chalta hai yaar.. :P :D :)

Interesting Tips to irritate people !!!

2011-08-03T16:32:00.004+05:30

I read this off Artlung.com And thought this was hilarious. Hence sharing :) :D

Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.

In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."

Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."

If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."

Practice making fax and modem noises.

Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.

Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."

Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.

Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

Staple pages in the middle of the page.

Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.

Honk and wave to strangers.

Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.

TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

type only in lowercase.

dont use any punctuation either

Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.

"DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
"What?"
"Never mind, it's gone now."

As much as possible, skip rather than walk.

Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.

Ask people what gender they are.

While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.

Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

Sundaran Neeyum, Sundari Nyaanum

2011-08-01T11:04:00.013+05:30

Note 1 :: This is a TRUE story. Of course, I have taken some Literary Liberties here and there.
Note 2 :: Obviously the Character names have been changed.
Note 3 :: Do not be surprised by the usage of Tamil, Hindi and English in the post. I heard the story, And thought it was best to reproduce it in the same manner, as I heard it.
Note 4 :: Non Tamil Friends kindly excuse. Non Tam-Brahm, you may not understand certain terms, that's fine. You are not missing out on anything important. Just the slang.. Just chill...

Amma was like "Ennadi aachu unakku, Kuch bhi kya ?" when I told her about Ravi.
"Amma..."
"Iyer paiyyana ?"
"Aama..."
I toh, definitely saw a twinkle, and the hint of a smile on my amma's face. That was definitely a sign of approval.
"Srivatsa Gotrakaarana ?"
"Illa.."
"Hmmm... Vadamaala ?"
"Aama..."
One more sly smile.
"Hmmm... Amma Appa enna panra ?"
"Appa, PWD Retired. Amma Housewife."
"Kooda poranthava ethana per ?" Amma was hanging clothes on the clothesline. I was helping her, by passing her the clips.
"Oru Akka, Kalyanam aagi, UK la settled. 4 vayasula, oru paiyyanum irukkaan."
"Hmmm..."
This much if she is asking toh, matlab, pakka. She was actually happy. Amma agar convince ho gayi, toh Band Baaja Baarat !!
"Enna padichirukkaan ?"
"B.E mudichittu, ippo Satyamla work panraan..."
"Satyama ? antha company ellam izhuthu mudiyaache...Sambalam ellam correcta vaangaraana? Nee ozhunga check panniya ?"
"Athellam correcta thaan vaangaran..."
"Hmmm.. entha collegennu sonna ?"
"Mona Engineering College ?"
"Engadi irukku athu..?"
"Mannargudi pakkathula.."
"Ethu ? namma Thanjavur pakkathula irukkae, antha mannargudiya ?"
"Hmmm.. aama..."
"Naan unakku Harvard, Oxfordnnu maapla paarkalaamnu kanavellam kandaenedi... ippadi ellathaiyum pagal kanavaakittiyae di.."
"Ayyo, amma, polambaatha, please..."
"Raathi, Chandra ellam kai kotti siripaale di... Ponna valarka theriyalaennu pesuvaale di...Ippadi, aetho, Mona, Sonannu Engineering Collegela padicha paiyyan kitta poi mayangittiyae di... Tere liye toh, I was pakka, ki, Harvard Mapla, with M.S. and Green Card. Ippo, nee Mannargudikku Town busla poga poriyae ..."
My Amma was like total nautanki.
"Amma... konjam niruthirya ? Please.. Appa kitta nee thaan pesanum..."
"Appakku therinjuthunnaa, konne pottruva"
"Amma Amma... please ma... Nee ethayavathu solli adjust pannuma... Amma Amma please ma..."
My mom was like caught between the devil and the deep blue sea.
"Petha paavam... Panni tholaikkaraen.." Amma said, palla kadichukittae...
"Thanks ma... Athukku en munjiya ippadi kadukadunnu vechurukka...Konjam sirikarthu.."
"Adiyae... unakku poi unga Appa kitta vakkalathu vaanga poraen paaru, enna sollanum.."
I was like all silent. "Thanks Ma... " I jumped. I gave her a hug, and rushed inside my room.
Inside my heart, I was "Yes, Yes, Yes !!! - Sandhyaji, iske saath, aap paar karti hain Pehla Padaav" I said to myself, in Amitabh Bachchan's rich baritone voice.
Outside my room, my amma knocked on the door. She then came inside and asked me the "Sawaal-saat-janmon-ka" -
"Paiyyanukku enna vayasu ?"
"23."
60 seconds
"Hmmm.... unakku...?"
"17."
I was totally Laal, Laal.
Amma, closed the door and went.

Before you proceed to read the rest of the story, Here are the most important facts that you need to know.
My name's Sandhya, Am all of 17 years and am a Tamil Iyer.
My (supposed) Guy's name is Ravi. He's 23. And a Tamil Iyer.
I live in Mumbai. He lives in Gurgaon.
And this was our story.
Note, how I said "was". Kadantha Kaalam. Enna aachunnu yosikireengala... Neengale padiyungalen ...

Intha pathinezhu vayasu ponnukkum, 23 vayasu paiyyanukku, eppadi "oru ithu" vanthathunnu ellam ketkaatheenga... Vanthuduthu... Avlo thaan... Seri.. ini kathai ... Actually, avan proposal accept pannu bothu, I was half scared that Ravi might be accused of Child Abuse or something. :)

Anikku night dinner, Amma, Appa, and myself were eating. Amma might break the news anytime. My heart was like shatabdi se fasta odikittu irunthathu. Knowing Appa's nature, enakku toh rombavae tension. Appa was like "antha pacha molagava konduvaada". Naan Ammava morachukittae kitchenukku ezhunthu ponen. Under my breath, I muttered to my mom, "Amma, aethavathu pannen.." Amma was like "Ennadi Munumunnunu... Sathama thaan sollaen.."
"Enna anga gusugusu..."
I ran to the kitchen to get the milaga. Atleast I was planning to stuff some in my mouth.
Amma then started, "Sandhyakku Ravi mela oru ithuvaama.."
I was like "Ammmmmmmmmmaaaaaaaa..." Atleast she could have put it across in a more decent manner. Petha ponnoda love-mattera ippadiya pottu odaikarathu.. "oru ithu", "oru athunnu"... nallava irukku...? Itna toh banta hai yaar...
Kaiyila saambar saadamum, potato curryum eduthu, vaaiyukku kondu pona kai, appadiye atha marubadiyum thattil vaithathu.
"Yaaru.. Antha Noida paiyyanaa?" My Appa had good memory power.
Naa kitchenlirunthu, "Gurgaon..."
Amma, "Ithukkonnum korachal illa... Pathinezhu vayasu thaan agarthu, athukullaiyum, lovvaamaa, lovvu.."
Enga Amma lovvunnu solrathum, enga vittu naai, "bownnu" solrathum, kitta thatta orey mathiri thaan irukkum.
Enga Appa, appadiye, enna oru looku, enga ammava oru looku..
"Enna en moraikireenga ?" My Amma, always had this feeling that my father always held her responsible for all my misgivings.
"Ellam neenga kudutha chellam thaan...inikku ippadi vanthu nikkarthu.." - I confided to Amma to defend me. She was now turning her weapons arsenal at me.
Appa was totally silent. Intha mathiri nisabdathula naanga saaptathey illa.
My ears were pounding. Everytime Appa opened his mouth, I was anticipating, "Ithellam namakku saripdathu.."
Surprisingly Appa romba quieta ezhunthu poitaaru. My Amma was now more surprised.
"Ennadi, ivlo periya kalla thooki pottrukom, manushan reactionae kaata maatengaraaru."
"Un purushanaache... appadi thaan iruppaaru... Po Po, Poi un purushana samaadaana paduthu ... Enakku oru mudivu therinjaaganum..."
"Ennadi nee ? Romba thaan thulra... TV la vara mega serial villi mathiri pesara... Vaala otta narikiduvaen..."
"Amma Amma, sorry ma... Poi Appava convince pannuma... Please ma... Please ma.. un ponnoda vaazhkai prachanai ma.."
"Ada chi... innum legal age kooda varala, athukullaiyum, unakkellam ennadi lovvu vendikedakku ?"
"Amma... please ma... purinjukkoyaen.."
"Adiyae, intha vishayam velila therinja, unga appavaiyum, ennaiyum, jailukku anupiduvaa di.."
"Appadiya.. ? Super po... Appo naan nimmathiya Raviya kalyanam pannikalaam... Entha newspaperla, un photo varanumnu sollu..? Thinathanthiya ? Thinamalara ? Nammalava ellarum Thinamalar thaan padippa, athulaye poda solraen.. enna ok va ma ?"
Enga Amma vitta lookula iravu kooda, kathiri-veyil mathiri irunthathu. Andru iravu kazhinthathu.

Appa, usually goes out for walks on Sunday morning. I had also woken up and had my horlicks. Paper padichittu irunthaen...
Enga appa en roomukku vanthaaru, Orey line thaan, "Walking poraen, neeyum varriya ?"
Appa enna walking ellam kooptathey kedaiyathu... Ippo kupidrarunna, aetho irukku... Thikku thikkunnu irunthathu. Chappala pottundu naanum kelambinaen...

Oru 4 kilometres nadanthirupom. My Appa didn't speak a word. I was like "Appa, kuch toh bolo" inside my heart. Appa didn't speak a word. We came home. Appa sat on the hall sofa silently. Amma brought coffee. They both exchanged glances. Aaha... toh kuch baat hui hai... I told myself, "Sandhya, yaa toh tu rone wali hai, yaa fir hasne wali hai... jo bhi ho, tere aankhon se paani ki dariya bahne wali hai... abhi se taiyyari kar le.." And I kept my most innocent and roni-si-surat and waited with bated breath.

Appa looked at Amma, and said with lot of bhaav, "What ? Will he come to see us, or is it via Skype only ?"
One small glimmer of hope now.
"Err... He.. come..."
"Enna.. mennu muzhungara..."
"Hunh... Sonna varuvaaru pa..."
"Varuvaara ? Paarthiya di, enna oru mariyaathai.. "avarukku".
Now my Amma's turn, "Ippo naan unna avan kitta pesa vendaamnu sonna.. unnala avan kitta pesama irukka mudiyuma ?"
I was thinking... Purushanum, Pondaatiiyum, nalla plan panni thaan cross-question panreenga... Arey, Pyaar hi to kiya hai... Koi gunaah thode hi kiya hai...
Then I replied, "Kashtama thaan irukkum... Aana pesamal ellam irukka mudiyaathu..."
Amma Appa exchanged glances. Then Amma was like, "Inga paaru, ippo unna pesa pdathunnu sonna, nee ketka porathillai... thiruttu thanama, ozhinju ozhinju pesa pora..."
I smiled at this part.
She was like, glaring at me. If I had been makhan (which I already was) I was already ghee.
"Sirikaatha di.. Asattu thanama sirikka vendiyathu...Neeyellam kalyanam pannitu enna panna poriyo..."
Then Appa spoke. "Ask Ravi to come and see us. Let us, as in Amma and myself, get to know him and his background, and then, If, IF, IF (he actually said this three times) everything is ok, we will take it forward..."
I was toh, totally beaming types.
Then he said, "But, if We don't like him, that'll be the end of Ravi chapter."
I was already having Ravi's number on speed dial. I dialled him then and there.
My Amma was looking at me, as if she was seeing me for the first time. I guess she was thinking, "Ponnukku thairiyatha paaru. Amma Appa munnadiye lovvarukku call panra..."
"Hi...Chellam...."
Itha kaetta udane, Amma Thiduk... Appa Thiduk... Ah... A million dollars for the expression on their faces..
"Appa has said OKKKKKKKKKKKK" I shouted over the phone...
Udane en Appa, "OK vellam onnum sollala... Paarkalaamnu thaan sonnaen.." He was trying to shout over my excited babble..
But I guess, I drained him out completely... :)
After the call, I told my Amma and Appa... "He is coming this weekend. Saturday evening 4 PM."
My Appa nodded his head. Amma was already planning the menu. Or was it really the menu ?
And I ran into the room, to talk to my Jaanu and that was when Appa spoke again,
"Ithu thaan saakkunnu, oorellam sutha koodathu... 9 PMkku veetla irukanum..."
And I was like "Seri pa... Try panraen.."

Aduthathu enna aachu ? Poruthirupome.. :) :D

Inside Wikileaks - My Time with Julian Assange at the World's Most Dangerous Website - A Review

2011-07-29T12:22:00.005+05:30

One Book review after a really long time I guess. :)

Just finished reading "Inside WikiLeaks - My Time with Julian Assange at the World's Most Dangerous Website"
by Daniel Domscheit Berg.

When I first heard about this book, I was taken aback at the reaction the press had given. Most magazines had given the book, the treatment that one gives a disgruntled employee who has been kicked out of the organization. They had ignored it. In fact, tried to push into oblivion. For them Julian Assange was on his way to become The Time - Person of the year. And they could not bear to see anybody - or rather, any book, coming in its way.

Honesly before I read the book, I was of the opinion that Julian Assange was a "Hero" and Mark was a "Sucker"berg. I came to realize that both of them belong to the same category.

What I liked most about this book was the fact that its stripped of all the glamor and glory and glitz that we have and still associate with an organization like WikiLeaks. When I first heard of it, I thought, WikiLeaks was backed by a multi-billion dollar enterprise that was being given the cold shoulder by the United States of America.

The book is fresh. Fresh in every aspect of the word. It has all the makings of a movie like "The Social Network." In fact, this book will be a block-buster if made into a movie. It has all the elements. There hatred, enemity, jealousy, the thirst for power, friendship, relationships, affairs, money and above all, the search for Ultimate Control Over the world. It may sound like an "over-the-top" review of the book, but honestly the way the book has been written, talks tons about Daniel Berg.

The book describes a lot of Julian's characteristics in the form of short incidents. It also tells us about his pompous attitude (if I may call it that)

Julian could walk into a telephone booth and forget which direction he had come from when he came out again.

That was one of his (Julian's) favorite sayings: “The man in the uniform has to learn his lesson.”

“I am an Anarchist not because I believe Anarchism is the final goal, but because there is no such thing as a final goal.”

“the moment of truth” only arrives “when they come to take you away.”

“Do not challenge leadership in times of crisis,” was one of his favorite answers to any critical questions we asked.

Assange loved to work without looking at the computer screen, and typing furiously at the keyboard. He thought that...

Working without optical feedback, is a form of perfection. A victory over time. He finished what he was doing long before his computer did.

But this was also the main reason why the first major difference of opinion rose between Assange and Daniel Berg.
When sending out an email, Assange forgot to change the TO field into BCC. As a result of which everybody came to know, who else was receiving the email. And As Daniel Berg joking remarks, someone sent WikiLeaks their own "To" list as a document. This was the first and the only homegrown leak, that happened in February 2009. But this also raised questions on the very principle that they stood for. They had to reveal their own sources. That was what WikiLeaks stood for.

For good or for evil, we were going to have to reveal it. It was interesting because we had spent some time philosophizing about what would happen if we were compelled to publish something about our own organization. We agreed that we had to release things that were bad as well as good publicity. In fact, our internal leak went down well with the press. At least we were consistent and none of the donors complained.

The ultimate furore came up internally in WikiLeaks when they had made public the video footage that showed US Air Force Personnel, shooting down journalists and terming them as Terrorists. The video had an Oscar Wilde Quote as a title to it.

“Political language is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”

Daniel also explores why there are secrets among people. And the intrinsic need to "have" secrets.

One of the main reasons for secrets is people’s desire to share them only with a select circle and exclude everybody else. Fraternities are a very vivid example of this.

Working for WL taught me that secrets are almost never kept. I wonder whether there even is such a thing as a secret between two people. I think they are very, very rare. If a sentence began with the words “I’ll only tell you if you promise not to pass it on,” it was nearly a foregone conclusion that this promise would get broken in another sentence beginning with those same words. This sort of prelude only prevents a secret from being spread quickly; despite what people may have promised, the secret would still make the rounds in the end. Even if someone’s best friend or spouse were the one being told, the danger of revelation was there—at the latest when the two parties in question got into a fight.

And here comes the most critical part of Inside WikiLeaks. The final conversation that led to the ouster of Daniel Berg from WikiLeaks.

D: what are the agreements re iraq? i need to understand what the plan is there, and what the constraints are
J: “A person in close contact with other WikiLeaks activists around Europe, who asked for anonymity when discussing a sensitive topic, says that many of them were privately concerned that Assange has continued to spread allegations of dirty tricks and hint at conspiracies against him without justification. Insiders say that some people affliated with the website are already brainstorming whether there might be some way to persuade their front man to step aside, or failing that, even to oust him.”
D: what does that have to do with me?
D: and where is this from?
J: Why do you think it has something to do with you?
D: probably because you alleg this was me
D: but other than that just about nothing
D: as discussed yesterday, this is an ongoing discussion that lots of people havevoiced concern about
D: you should face this, rather than trying to shoot at the only person that even cares to be honest about it towards you
J: No, three people have “relayed” your messages already.
D: what messages?
D: and what three people?
D: this issue was discussed
D: A [Architect] and i talked about it, Hans* talked about it, B talked it, Peter* talked about it
D: lots of people that care for this project have issued that precise suggestion
D: its not me that is spreading this message
D: it would just be the natural step to take
D: and thats what pretty much anyone says
J: Was this you?
D: i didnt speak to newsweek or other media representatives about this
D: i spoke to people we work with and that have an interest in and care about this project
D: and there is nothing wrong about this
D: it’d actually be needed much more, and i can still only recommend you to finally start listening to such concerns
D: especially when one fuckup is happening after the other
J: who, exactly?
D: who exactly what?
J: Who have you spoken to about this issue?
D: i already told you up there
J: those are the only persons?
D: some folks from the club have asked me about it and i have issued that i think this would be the best behaviour
D: thats my opinion D: and this is also in light to calm down the anger there [...]
J: how many people at the club?
D: i dont have to answer to you on this j
D: this debate is fuckin all over the place, and no one understands why you go into denial [...]
J: How many people at the club?
J: In what venue?
D: in private chats
D: but i will not answer anymore of these questions
D: face the fact that you have not much trust on the inside anymore
D: and that just denying it or putting it away as a campaign against you will not change that it is solely a consequence of your actions
D: and not mine
J: How many people are represented by these private chats? And what are there
positions in the CCC?
D: go figure
D: i dont even wanna think about how many people that used to respect you told me that they feel disappointed by your reactions
D: i tried to tell you all this, but in all your hybris you dont even care
D: so i dont care anymore either
D: other than that, i had questions first, and i need answers
D: like what agreements we have made
D: i need to understand this so we can continue working
D: you keep stalling other peoples work
J: How many people are represented by these private chats? And what are there positions in the CCC?
D: start answering my questions j
J: This is not a quid-pro-quo.
J: Are you refusing to answer?
D: i have already told you again that i dont see why i should answer to you
anymore just because you want answers, but on the same hand refuse to answer
anything i am asking
D: i am not a dog you can contain the way you want to j
J: i am investigation a serious security breach. Are you refusing to answer?
D: i am investigating a serious breach in trust. are you refusing to answer?
J: No you are not. I initiated this conversation. Answer the question please.
D: i initiated it
D: if you look above
D: twice already
D: i want to know what the agreements are in respect to iraq
J: That is a procedural issue. Don’t play games with me.
D: stop shooting at messengers
J: I’ve had it.
D: likewise, and that doesnt go just for me
J: If you do not answer the question, you will be removed.
D: you are not anyones king or god
D: and you’re not even fulfilling your role as a leader right now
D: a leader communicates and cultivates trust in himself
D: you are doing the exact opposite
D: you behave like some kind of emporer or slave trader
J: You are suspended for one month, effective immediately.
D: haha
D: right
D: because of what?
D: and who even says that?
D: you? another adhoc decision?
J: If you wish to appeal, you will be heard on Tuesday.
D: BAHAHAHA
D: maybe everyone was right, and you really have gone mental j
D: you should get some help
J: You will be heard by a panel of peers.
J: You are suspend for disloyalty, insubordination and destabalization in a time of crisis.

Berg was sad at the way the media "used" WikiLeaks' cable leaks. They had used it for merely reporting trivial issues and targeting celebrity head of states. He gives examples such as ...

French president Nicolas Sarkozy was hypersensitive and authoritarian; Russian prime minister Vladimir Putin, an alpha male; German chancellor Angela Merkel, indecisive and uninspired; German foreign minister Guido Westerwelle, a greenhorn; and Italian prime minister Silvio Berlusconi, a vain party animal.

Julian had once mentioned in an interview “Now I am untouchable in this country.” Daniel Berg feels that,

No one should be untouchable. Not even Julian Assange. I cannot understand how anyone else can support this idea, even for a second.

A writer and professor of Political theory, Hefried Munkler wrote that

Someone who criticizes the fact that secrets always remain in the hands of a chosen few with power must answer the question of whether his (Julian's) publishing strategy truly makes them accessible to everyone. Is it not the case, that with the cables only the guardians of the secrets are being replaced?

Confidential information once kept under wraps by the US State Department and the American military is now in the hands of five large media companies and Julian Assange. They decide what is of public interest and what is not. The recent Cablegate publications are a far cry from the original ideas behind WikiLeaks. I think they stray much too far from those basic principles.

Before wrapping up the book, Daniel Berg raises quite a few pertinent questions.

• What is WikiLeaks’s financial situation? What have donations been used for? And who decides how money is allocated?
• What is the current organizational and decision-making structure? How are responsibilities divided up?
• What did Julian mean when he reportedly told the Guardian that he had a financial interest in how and when the diplomatic cables were published?
• What roles do WL’s representatives in Russia and Scandinavia, Israel Shamir and Johannes Wahlström, a father an son with a record of anti-Semitism, play at WikiLeaks?
• What kinds of deals have Wahlström and Shamir arranged with media outlets?
• Are there other WL brokers who have provided media outlets with material, and if so, on what terms?
• Do Julian Assange, other people involved with WikiLeaks, or their companies profit from any such deals?

I had a lot of respect for Assange before I read the book. Now I realize, I have none left for him. For the organization, Yes. They are doing a great job. Open Leaks (Created by Daniel Berg himself, 2 days after quitting WikiLeaks) has also joined the league now.

In the words of Daniel Berg,

OpenLeaks can be seen as a kind of sober, neutral infrastructure. We see ourselves as technological engineers, not as media stars or global galactic saviors. Some people may even think we’re boring. That’s just how we want to be. The main thing is that the system works.

As much as it is a case of a disgruntled employee, Daniel Berg raises the ever-pertinent question -

Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
Who Will Guard the Guards ?

Husn - e - Haqiqi

2011-07-28T13:00:00.005+05:30

Hats Off Coke Studio !!!
For bringing to us this gem of a piece called "Husn-e-Haqiqi'.
"Romaharshana" is the right word. Honestly. And to think of the deeply profound meaning.
Arieb Azhar does a fantastic job singing this masterpiece.

I am not going to talk further. Here goes the song, the english transliteration and translation as well.

And now for the lyrics ...

Ai husne haqiqi noor e azal
Tenu waajib te imkaan kahun
Tenu khalik zaat qadeem kahun
Tenu haadis khalq jahan kahun
Tenu mutlaq mehez wajood kahun
Tenu almiya ayaan kahun
Arvaah nafoos aqool kahun
Ashbaa iyaan nehaan kahun
Tenu ain haqeeqat maahiyat
Tenu arz sifat te shaan kahun
Anvaah kahun auzaah kahun
Atvaar kahun auzaan kahun
Tenu arsh kahun aflaak kahun
Tenu naaz naeem janaan kahun
Tenu tat jamaad nabaat kahun
Haivaan kahun insaan kahun
Tenu masjid mandir dair kahun
Tenu pothi te quran kahun
Tasbeeh kahun zunnaar kahun
Tenu kufr kahun imaan kahun
Tenu baadal barkha gaaj kahun
Tenu bijli te baraan kahun
Tenu aab kahun kahun tenu khaak kahun
Tenu baad kahun neeraan kahun
Tenu dasrat lichman raam kahun
Tenu sita ji janaan kahun
Baldev jasuda nand kahun
Tenu kishan kanhaya kaan kahun
Tenu barhma bishan ganesh kahun
Mahadev kahun bhagvaan kahun
Teni geet granth te bed kahun
Tenu gyaan kahun agyaan kahun
Tenu ibrahim hawa shees kahun
Tenu nooh kahun tufaan kahun
Tenu ibrahim khaleel kahun
Tenu musa bin imran kahun
Tenu har dil da dildaar kahun
Tenu ahmad aalishaan kahun
Tenu shaahid malk hijaaz kahun
Tenu baais kaun makaan kahun
Tenu naaz kahun andaaz kahun
Tenu hoor pari ghilmaan kahun
Tenu nouk kahun tenu ttouk kahun
Tenu surkhi beerha paan kahun
Tenu tabla te tamboor kahun
Tenu dholak surr te taan kahun
Tenu husn te haar singhaar kahun
Tenu ashwa ghamza aan kahun
Tenu ishq kahun tenu ilm kahun
Tenu vehem yaqeen gumaan kahun
Tenu husn kavi idraak kahun
Tenu zauk kahun wajdaan kahun
Tenu sakar kahun sakraan kahun
Tenu hairat te hairaan kahun
Tasleem kahun talveen kahun
Tamkeen kahun irfaan kahun
Tenu sumbal sosan sarv kahun
Tenu nargis nafarmaan kahun
Tenu laale daagh te baagh kahun
Gulzaar kahun bustaan kahun
Tenu khanjar teer tufang kahun
Tenu barcha bank sanaan kahun
Tenu teer khidang kamaan kahun
Soofaar kahun peekaan kahun
Berang kahun bemisal kahun
Besoorat har har aan kahun
Subooh kahun qudoos kahun
Rehman kahun subhaan kahun
Kar taubaa tart Fareed sada
Har sheh nu par nuksaan kahun
Tenu paak alakh be aib kahun
Tenu haq be naam nishaan kahun

#############################################

O’ Beauty of Truth, the Eternal Light!
Do I call you necessity and possibility,
Do I call you the ancient divinity,
The One, creation and the world,
Do I call you free and pure Being,
Or the apparent lord of all,
Do I call you the souls, the egos and the intellects,
The imbued manifest, and the imbued hidden,
The actual reality, the substance,
The word, the attribute and dignity,
Do I call you the variety, and the circumstance,
The demeanor, and the measure,
Do I call you the throne and the firmament,
And the demurring delights of Paradise,
Do I call you mineral and vegetable,
Animal and human,
Do I call you the mosque, the temple, the monastery,
The scriptures, the Quran,
The rosary, the girdle,
Godlessness, and faith,
Do I call you the clouds, the flash, the thunder,
Lightning and the downpour,
Water and earth,
The gust and the inferno,
Do I call you Lakshmi, and Ram and lovely Sita,
Baldev, Shiv, Nand, and Krishna,
Brahma, Vishnu and Ganesh,
Mahadev and Bhagvaan,
Do I call you the Gita, the Granth, and the Ved,
Knowledge and the unknowable,
Do I call you Abraham, Eve and Seth,
Noah and the deluge,
Abraham the friend, and Moses son of Amran,
And Ahmad the glorious, darling of every heart,
Do I call you the witness, the Lord, or Hejaz,
The awakener, existence, or the point,
Do I call you admiration or prognosis,
Nymph, fairy, and the young lad,
The tip and the nip,
And the redness of betel leaves,
The Tabla and Tanpura,
The drum, the notes and the improvisation,
Do I call you beauty and the fragrant flower,
Coyness and that amorous glance,
Do I call you Love and knowledge,
Superstition, belief, and conjecture,
The beauty of power, and conception,
Aptitude and ecstasy,
Do I call you intoxication and the drunk,
Amazement and the amazed,
Submission and the connection,
Compliance and Gnosticism,
Do I call you the Hyacinth, the Lilly, and the Cypress,
And the rebellious Narcissus,
The bereaved Tulip, the Rose garden, and the orchard,
Do I call you the dagger, the lance, and the rifle,
The hail, the bullet, the spear,
The arrows made of white poplar, and the bow,
The arrow-notch, and the arrowhead,
Do I call you colorless, and unparalleled,
Formless in every instant,
Glory and holiness,
Most glorious and most compassionate,
Repent now Farid forever!
For whatever I may say is less,
Do I call you the pure and the humane,
The Truth without trace or name.

All translations are acknowledged to be their creators.
No copyright/intellectual property violations intended.

Loving it !!!

2011-07-15T06:57:00.003+05:30

Apparently one good hearted soul, loved my post on "Date a Guy Who reads" and shared it on StumbleUpon. And what happened next was that ...

Yesterday alone, my blog hit about 4K visitors :) :D

"Date a Guy Who Reads" is on it way to beat my blog's most visited post , "The Names of the 100 Kauravas"

As at the time of writing this post, traffic to this blog has shot up almost 30 times !!!

Hail StumbleUpon !!!

Epic Ctrl-C :: Ctrl-V act by the PMO

2011-07-14T23:39:00.004+05:30

Self Explanatory !!!

PM's address to the Nation	PM's statement on arrival in Mumbai
12-Jul-06	14-Jul-11
Let me assure you that the Government will do whatever is required to deal with the challenge at hand. We will win this war against terror. Nothing will break our resolve.	I assure the people that the government will do everything in its power to prevent such attacks in the future. In the final analysis, it is the unity and strength of the people that will defeat these efforts to divide our people and destroy our civilized way of life.

Now, this IS Interesting ...

2011-07-14T22:56:00.002+05:30

I am not the kind to be blown away by first impressions or by hearsay.

I casually came across this site called NirvanaFilms. (Not the Tamizh Nirvana :))

Please stay on the site as the page loads and notice the way the "kolam" or the motif unfolds. And of course do not forget to move the mouse over the links, hear the wonderful "chink" and look at the animation. I never knew one could innovate a mouse-over !!! Great Job !!! :) :D

Click inside and be surprised at the number of ads these people have done. :)

Good job !!!

I've always believed that getting people on to your site is difficult to begin with, and to retain them is tougher. But the toughest is to surprise them with something that they did not expect. I just loved it !!!

கோ, அபூர்வ ராகங்கள் மற்றும் பலர் ...

2011-07-14T15:45:00.003+05:30

I watched some movies the past couple of weeks.

Ko.
Average movie. I thought Shankar went overboard and made a man one-day CM and then made him CM of the whole state, in the span of 25 minutes. K.V.Anand, does a la-Cameroon, and makes Ajmal CM in 4 minutes. :)
Good story, bad direction. Screenplay could have been more taut. In fact the bombing scene reminds me of Vantage Point. Even the set looked the same. கொஞ்சம் அளவுக்கு அதிகமா தான் ரீல் விட்டுருக்காங்க... Can watch one time.

Aboorva Raagangal.
Fantastic !! No wonder they called K.B as Iyakkunar Sigaram. I never thought highly of K.B, despite seeing many of his movies, including Sinthu Bhairavi. But Aboorva Raagagal and especially SriVidya's Ethereal acting. And is that JayaSudha ? WoW !!!
For a movie of this genre and for a director of this calibre, to come with such a movie in 1975, man, that IS remarkable.

I simply love the scene, where SriVidya says to Kamal, that Age is a factor, and Kamal says, "I do not think, that in circumstances and times such as these, Age should matter". Surprisingly, as much as our film makers have grown, we haven't let ourselves grow. +1 to the scene where Kamal asks SriVidya shyly the appropriate "praise" for his artistic skills. :P

I liked the climax in Aboorva Raagangal, especially the lengthy monologue that Major Sundarrajan gives, in the presence of his son, Daughter-in-law (or is it mother-in-law) and his wife. Well written !!

Watched Bits and pieces of ThiruVilaiyadal (the Original), and Karnan. Sivaji Sivaji thaan. :)

Varumaiyin Niram Sivappu. Yet another masterpiece !!!

An Open Letter to Mr. P. Chidambaram (B.Sc, L.L.B, M.B.A)

2011-07-14T10:08:00.005+05:30

Dear Dr.P.Chidambaram (B.Sc, L.L.B - University of Madras, M.B.A - Harvard),

I think its time to take up the end of your "veshti" and fold it up and get down into the mayhem that you've been put incharge of.

Seriously man, do you know the lady who taught you English in School and the Professor who taught you Philosophy and Logic ? Well, I actually do not know how to break this to you, but they just committed suicide. Apparently, they had seen your comment, that read

Lack of intelligence doesn't mean a failure in intelligence

What a fantastically responsible statement from the Home Minister of the Indian Government. I am absolutely sure, that Mr. PC (B.Sc, L.L.B, M.B.A), would have given the same reaction, if the blast had happened at 10 Janpath.

O.K. Mr. PC (B.Sc, L.L.B, M.B.A), You being a lawyer, I'll give it to you. One does not argue with the Minister who is incharge of Home Affairs, especially when he is a lawyer, and an incompetent one at that.

But does not your statement reek of incompetency and failure to even be aware of what is happening in your own portfolio ? Not in your profile ? or are they not giving you enough salary ? Don't tell me the RAW had no inkling that this was coming. I would love to hear the RAW chief's take on this.

Here is a Cabinet Minister, shamelessly admitting the fact, that they did not have intelligence. I thought, that was YOUR JOB !!!

2 attacks in 4 years under the "abled-leadership" of a visionary. After-all, aren't you the man who represented Enron's Case in India ? I, for sure, cannot expect more from you.

So, Mr. PC (B.Sc, L.L.B, M.B.A), now that your wife is also in the Ministerial League, and that now there is one breadwinner in the family, I think you can step down. You may think that you do not owe the nation an apology, but atleast do not shame the nation by holding (on to the) office.

I'm a bloody Sadist and I'm loving it !!!!

2011-07-13T16:57:00.005+05:30

I checked out someone's FB profile last week and was thrilled to find out that she was married.

Yes, it was a female, but wondering why was I thrilled to bits ? :)

Basically this was the female, who was instrumental in breaking a very good friendship that I had with a guy in my school-days. He had a crush on her, and at the outset, (it appeared as if) she had a crush on him. And as was anticipated, the much anticipated clash came, where he had to choose or rather prioritize between me or her. He chose her.

The initial reaction was disappointment. Then it became RAGE.

If you offend me, make sure you apologise then and there. Don't wait for some other time. My anger grows with time, exponentially. And by the time you confront me with the issue, don't be scared if you find my behavior creepy or irritating or sadistic. I am made that way.

By the time, he came to apologise for the flare-up, two days later, I had reached the peak. I told him "Tatham Gatham" and did not talk to him for the rest of the term. The three of us, among others, joined the same college, and our relationship was as icy as ever even there.

In college, I "came to know" that things were not rosy between this girl and my friend and that this girl had literally "dumped" him. Adapting a "Devdas" like stance, this guy almost became a psycho - for instance, if he found any of "his" friends talking to her, he'd go up to them and say that she was like "his" wife and that from when did they start eyeing their own-sister-in-law ? Yikes !!!!

Anyway, that being said, this woman probably took the best decision of her life and got married recently, TO SOMEONE ELSE, and I'm glad for her !

Call me a sadist ? LOL ... I probably wrote the most satisfying post of the year !!!

I am now obsessed with Limitless !!!

2011-07-13T14:26:00.004+05:30

I watched this movie two weeks back and ever since it has been making circles in my head.

Bradley Cooper simply nails it in this movie.

The story line is simple. Eddie Morra is a wannabe writer, struggling to make his ends meet. In a chance encounter, he meets his ex-girlfriend's brother on the streets and finds that he has made it big. Pitying Morra, Vernon takes him to a restaurant, and gives him a pill. He tells Eddie Morra that we usually utilize only 20% of our brain's capability. He asks what would happen, if we could tap the remaining 80%, and that this pill was designed to do precisely that.

Eddie Morra takes him for granted, but nevertheless takes the pill. Taking the pill makes him realize that the pill indeed has a magical effect on him and that he could be "dry" for hours, without even a cigarette and yet perfectly finish all the tasks at hand. He felt "clear". He approaches Vernon for some more of this wonderful pill only to find Vernon already dead in his apartment. Eddie makes away with the wonder-drug called NZT and what happens after that is the remaining story. I loved that last, injection part. Pretty Scary but surreal !! :)

Effing Fantastic Screenplay. I just loved the way the story meanders in and out.

You can simply say that I am just looking out for a wonder-drug like NZT :)

P.S :- If you are aware of any Nootropic whose effect you have personally seen, please contact me. :) :D I'd love to hear from you.

ஆரண்ய காண்டம் ... ரோதனம் !!!

2011-07-12T10:15:00.001+05:30

Pulp Fictionஇல்ல ,Pulpy Fictionஉம் இல்ல, அட புளிப்பு fiction கூட இல்லப்பா ...
இவனுங்கள நல்லா கோர்த்து ஓவரா பிட்ட ஒட்டிருகானுங்க ...

அதுக்கு எதுக்குடா இவ்ளோ பில்ட் அப் குடுத்தீங்க ...
ஏதோ ஒரு cult classic மாதிரி... அப்டி எல்லாம் ஒண்ணுமே இல்லையே படத்துல...
நானும், மோதல் லிருந்து கடைசி frameவரைக்கும், எல்லாரும் ஆஹா ஓஹோன்னு சொன்ன மேட்டர் எதாவது வரும்ன்னு ரொம்ப எதிர்பார்த்தேன்...
ஏமாந்தது தான் மிச்சம்.

Trailer எல்லாம் நல்ல தான் பண்ணீங்க... ஆனா directionla சொதப்பிடீன்களே ...

ஆரண்ய காண்டம் - ராமன் இல்லாமல்.

Godavari - Fantastic !!!

2011-07-11T12:54:00.003+05:30

Am not going to make this a long review.

Godavari is effing fantastic. I loved it !!! zimbly ... !!!
The story is simple. SriRam is a US return graduate in Vizag, who wants to join politics and serve the people of his country. He loves his cousin, who happens to be his uncle's daughter, Raji. Raji is a fickle minded woman, I would say selfish, who wants her guy to have a job, bank balance and according to her lots of understanding. Raji's marriage is fixed with a rich guy, who happens to be in the Indian Police Service.

The marriage is scheduled to be held at Bhadrachalam and the family starts to the place on a boat.

The other part of the story begins in Hyderabad. Sita Mahalakshmi hates a regular job and runs her own fashion boutique but is always cash strapped and is looking for better avenues. Her parents want to get her married. She says OK to the boy who came to see her, but the boy rejects her, for unknown reasons. Depressed and disappointed with life, she wants to go to Bhadrachalam, the proposed place of her marriage, if that "rishta" had come through. Sita boards the same boat as SriRam and the story takes a new turn there.

I think Shekhar Kammula has clearly proved that you do not need thundering dialogues, super-stunts and rain dances in Telugu movies. The hero's part is subtle. Without histrionics. The heroine is extrovert, but does not border on the crass. Very decent. Excellent usage of sari throughout the movie.

I just loved it. Kamalini Mukherji nails it as Sita. I loved the dialogues. Natural and Pithy.

Way to go Shekhar Kammula, you just earned yourself, another fan !!! :) :D

Of Women, Buses and The Tolerance of Men !!!

2011-07-11T09:59:00.008+05:30

Note :-

Men :: Read this post at leisure. Appreciate the fact that I empathize.
Women :: Read this post when you are really happy and miserable about it !!! :)

Here is the background to this post. Of course, as usual, the background may have nothing to do with the crux of the post, still...

This story starts on the 127K. Kondapur to Koti. Or Rather, this happened on the way back. I was waiting at Ohri's for the bus to take me to Jubilee Hills checkpost. This bus came. Slightly crowded. Standing only. I boarded the bus, only to find myself standing right at the entrance. But that was ok. I was to get down 4 stops later.

It was then I noticed. All the men on my left were looking beyond me. Yes, not at me. But beyond me. It took me quite some time to realize that they were ogling at a female. So I looked at my right and found that there was indeed a pretty female.

Female, 24ish, Medium Hair, Curly. Low-Hip Jeans. 4 inch heels. Rather loud. Tip-of-the-tongue Hinglish.

The moment the specs (short for specifications) were clear, I was smiling to myself. This was a pretty common "configuration" as far as women in Hyderabad go, especially the crowd from Jubilee Hills, Banjaara Hills, Madhapur Iyappa Society, Kondapur, Silpa Gardens. So what was it that the guys were ogling at. And then I realized it. S.L.E.E.V.E.L.E.S.S

Indian men have a thing for Sleeveless. I do not know why they are wired like that. But Sleeveless gets the Indian men turned on.
Well, before you start conjecturing this post is not about the untold fantasies of Indian men, but rather, my advice or rant on how adjusting Indian men are.

1.) When you wear a sleeveless, please make sure, you use a proper Deo. I've born the brunt of many a sleeveless woman, pushing me to think, a guillotine was better, than to stand the stench.

2.) If you have/had opted for a waxing or threading job, make sure you get the proper result. I've seen some pakka specimens, that get a half baked (read half waxed) job done and then exhibit her arms and legs. Everytime I saw one of "those" women, I only felt like slapping myself.

3.) Please do not apply layers of that sun-screen lotion and come and sit next to me. I do not know how you stand it, but it makes me nauseated, everytime I breathe that thing in. :( ... If you are using one of those lotions, please do use some talcum powder on top it, atleast to cover the smell. No, this is not for you to impress me, but you must realize that you are doing me a favor by preventing me to die of asphyxiation.

4.) Watch YOUR heels. Yeah, I know you walk on a stool (err... not the human excreta, I meant "stilts"), doesn't mean that it gives you the right to stand on my toes. Gosh, Do you know how much it pains woman ? And to think, you only use it on men, who try to be nice to you and give you space to get down. Thanks !!!

5.) Watch your HANDBAG. I know that thing contains your "accessories". Doesn't mean you swing it on the head of every single person on the bus who falls within your "arc". And please, if you are having glass bottles (read perfumes), please do not break it on someone's head and then crib about it.

6.) Volume zara kam karna ... Yes, If you do not want men to be staring at you and laughing at your silly stories, please keep your volume down. If you are doing it for the sake of attention, please go ahead and act as if you have not read this. But if you feel awkward that something is wrong and all the wrong people are looking at you, you just crossed the decibel limit.

7.) Take those Coolers, Goggles, Shades (whatever you call them) off your head. P.U.H. - L.E.A.S.E !!! And the sun is not shining "inside" the bus. You don't want to be ridiculed ? Remove them. Let better sense (read common sense prevail). You are not sitting in the Golf Club. And seriously woman, that Dolce and Gabbana is covering about 40% of your face. You want to hide your face ? is it that hideous ??

Yeah, in response to this post, I am prepared for some hate mails as well. Honestly women, I don't really give that a damn. All that I want to highlight here is that I am no chauvinist, but it does not really matter. Does it ?

On Why The Legend of Bin Laden Will Remain Immortal ...

2011-06-30T15:01:00.001+05:30

The recent Osama Bin Laden (henceforth #OBL) incident has sparked a big furore over the authenticity of #OBL's death. This blog post is not about his tyranny or his methods or on the conspiracy involving his death. It is more about what he stood for and what he gained or lost by standing up for what he wanted in life.

O.K. Let me make something very clear. I am not idologising #OBL here. I am just presenting the facts in a different way.

Who is an enemy ?

This is a very basic question which needs to be answered before we can go further. What factors contribute to the fact that we consider someone as our enemy. The first and foremost factor according to me is "The-Game-Changer".

Yes, The Game Changer is the difference between the good guy and the bad guy. It differentiates the Hunter from the Hunted. #OBL changed the rules of the game. The original game was simple enough. He will be supplied with weapons and he will do the needful in Soviet Russia. Mission Accomplished. But then the inevitable happened. The man had to be taken down - a la Jason Bourne. But he was quick. He had learnt the game. He knew how his benefactors worked. He Changed The Name of the Game. He swiftly and boldly challenged his benefactors. Asked them to meet him head on. They were of course surprised at this behavior. They had fed him. They expected him to behave like a puppy. This reversal of roles put his benefactors in a spot. They were angry and confused and power-hungry. Here was a man, whom they fed scraps, and he rises up to defy them. Let's show him Who is the Daddy.

And this is exactly what started the conflict.

Bin Laden's story is almost very similar to that of "Carlos" from the Bourne Identity. The man was a legend. Come to accept it, as his reputation spread, it became difficult to sift the reality from the legend. Local Rebel groups called upon him for funds and manpower, an in-direct way of declaring their allegiance to him. Governments purposely id'ed these rebels to be mercenaries so that they could indirectly blame Bin Laden for sponsoring terrorism and attributing it to foreign intervention. They tried to bring in a pressure-cooker situation where there was a need to remove these local rebels as a means to curb terrorism. It worked. And Osama Bin Laden became a wanted terrorist. And as Brian Whitaker puts it, clearly and succinctly -

If he did not exist he would have to be invented.

Andrew Brown is not far from the truth, when he says -

"If the cause for which American entered Afghanistan was simply revenge, then they are now free to leave. But his real death will come only when he is quite forgotten, and I don't see that happening for a very long time. It certainly didn't happen today."

Naom Chomsky in his essay in Guernica Magazine last week, said -

"...that no one can perceive that they are glorifying bin Laden by identifying him with courageous resistance against genocidal invaders.."

Throughout history, we have witnessed first hand, the power of an Idea. An Idea can change the world. Men have lived for it. Fought for it. Died for it. All for the sake of an idea. And that is exactly what Bin Laden stood for. Idea.

And I'm back !!!!

2011-06-22T21:05:00.004+05:30

...after a brief hiatus...

Spent this time brooding over a lot of things, and finally decided to break the block :P

Was eagerly waiting for Shopo.in's beta site launch, which happened a couple of days back. They had some really really awesome teasers and promos. And I was following their idea for quite some time closely. The first instant I thought, they stole my idea. :P

The photo contests were quite interesting and eye-catching as well.

The site's really nice. Awesome jQuery for internal navigation. :) I'm jealous.
A tad slow on the page-navigation side but they've promised that they'll be pushing things :)

Nice collection of items. Some are totally kiddish, bringing back fond memories. :)
Great place to start your collection if you are artistically inclined. Haven't checked out their payment methods as yet :P Will test and update.

Song that has got me hooked this time of the year

Maybe I can say the same to Shopo.in's team as well... :) :D

Rules Kidayathu Shopo Team... All the Best !!!

प्यार का पंचनामा - Doctor's Report

2011-06-01T23:36:00.003+05:30

Before I start, पंचनामा - Punchnaama means, "The report submitted to (by) the (Sar)Panch" in the village. Basically the "Post-Mortem" report of the man who has died. Following which it is official that the person is dead.

प्यार का पंचनामा - Literally means - The PostMortem of Love...
And the movie.. is absolutely Fantastic.

People may call it crass, violent intent, bad language - whatever, I enjoyed the movie like no other. I was already excited about writing a review on my blog, the moment, the interval flashed on the screen.

The storyline borders on the edges of reality. The screenplay is extremely sanely handled, something that I haven't been able to see in any of the recent Hindi releases. The language is original. This is what guys talk. Period.

I especially loved three scenes in the movie, the first scene where Liquid vents his frustration on his project manager. Second scene is "of-course" Dimaag ki Dahi scene and the Third is my favorite - the last scene where Rajat decides to call it quits to the relationship and walks out with his baggage, leaving his girl friend crying.

I just loved that scene. For all the manipulation that the woman did, I thought she perfectly deserved it. :) ... The more women do this, the more heartbroken in the end they are. Folks who argue that the movie was miso-gynist, tell me which one of the characters was stereo-typed or bad.

Rajat is a nice guy, looking out for a nice girl. Any mistake ?
Vikrant is a dude, who is also a nice guy.
And of course, Liquid is simply frustrated nice guy.

I term all the three guys as nice because they do not go after another girl when they are actually seeing someone. Atleast in the movie.

Note !!! Three nice guys ?? What about the women ?

They are three nice women as well. They are infact good women.
Neha wants commitment or rather "Joru ki Ghulaami"
Riya wants her space, and does not like interference.
Charu just wants a buddy for everything except a physical relationship. For that she has her boyfriend.

I don't blame the three women as well. There is absolutely nothing wrong in the women as well. We meet such women in our everyday lives. So who is to be blamed here ? The men or the women ? This article of mine got a lot of negative comments, but I still stand by my statements. Nice women are extinct. And watch out women, the nice guys are becoming extinct as well. :)

----------------*-------------------

Luv Ka The End - As crappy as a movie can ever be. It's basically a Bollywood rehashed version of "John Tucker Must Die". Not worth a watch at all. Wasted 2 hours. :( :(

----------------*-------------------

Chalo Dilli - was entertaining. It was boring in patches, but overall worth a watch. I loved the part, where without giving the names of the protagonists till almost the end of the movie, the director made us feel one with the characters. "Bhaai Sahab" and "Behenji" are gonna be there for some time now.

P.S :- facing a blogger's block. Will start posting more regularly. For sure.

Those Turshi Days !!! - 3

2011-05-19T21:55:00.000+05:30

This happened somewhere in 2001.

We had a very interesting teacher for Physics. No names here. He was a very very nice person and had great love and affection for his students.

His teaching style was different. Atleast that's what he thought. Honestly, he was no different from any other teacher.

During the start of the academic year, to us, he was a new teacher. He was trying to know our names and trying to impress us.

The first lesson in Physics was Measurement and S.I Units.

Now all of these SI Units had a definition. These definitions were really important from the exam perspective. So when he was teaching the lesson, he made sure, he told us what questions were important and how important they were.

During the course of the lesson, he used to regularly point out people and make them answer his questions.

It was one of those days...

He was in a bad mood, and was looking at some sort of an outlet.

The moment he entered the class, he said, "Hey you, last bench, Yes, You. Sitting next to V, get up."
"Sir...?"
"What is Mass...?"
"Sir...?"
"What sir sir ? I am asking you... Define Mass."
"Errr....."
"Next"
"Sir... Errrr..."
"Next"
"Sir... Errrr..."
"All of you, get out of the class. Kneel down and learn the definition."

Finally V also had to leave the class. His ego and anger now massaged, my Physics sir was more relaxed now.

20 minutes passed. Now my Physics sir felt that the guys outside, missed a lot of the theory and wanted to bring them inside. So he said,
"S ??"
"Sir..?"
"What is mass ?"
S gave the text book definition of mass and its SI unit. Sir let him inside the class.
"R...?"
"Sir...?"
"What is mass ?"
Repeat of S.

Now it was V's turn. He was not an ordinary guy. Filled with lots of cynicism and sarcasm, especially towards the education system. A little bit of an attention seeker as well. Very intelligent though. One hell of an entertainer as well.

So the question came to him. The bell was about to ring. We all knew that. So V decided it was time for some real entertainment.

"So.. ? V...? Tell me... What is mass."
"Sir..?"
"What is mass... ?"
"Sir..?"
"You can't hear of what ... I asked you what is mass... ?"
"Sir .. Mass is..."
"Yes, V tell me.. Mass is..."
"Sir... Mass is..."
"You are right V... Continue, Mass is.. ?"
"Sir.. Mass is Kilogram"

I am leaving out the other details of what happened. And how embarrassed our Physics sir was with the answer.

But this continues to be the most standard refrain of anybody who studied with me during 2001. We ROTFLOL using this statement.

पीर मेरेया जुगीनिजी !!!

2011-05-14T10:13:00.004+05:30

I came across this video from Youtube. Coke Studio. Sung by Arif Lohar and Meesha.

The music is mind blowing and the lyrics even better.
What energy and What profound meaning... !!!!

The video and the lyrics below...

Alif allah chambay di booti, tey meray murshid mann vich lai hoo
Ho nafi uss baat da paani dey kay
Har ragaay harjai hoo
Ho joog joog jeevay mera murshid sohna
Hatay jiss ay booti lai ho

My master has planted the fragrant seed of love in my heart
Which flourished with modesty, piety and acceptance of his existence
My God is present in every throbbing pulse
My spiritual guide is ever-present
The one who blew life into me

Pir meraya jugni ji
Ae way allah waliyan di jugni ji
Ae way nabbi pak di jugni ji
Ae way maula ali wali jugni ji
Ae way meray pir di jugni ji
Ae way saaray sabaz di jugni ji
Dum gutkoon, dum gutkoon, dum gutkoon, dum gootkun… karay Saeein
Parhay tay kalma nabi da Parhay saeein pir merya

I have the spirit of my guide
The spirit of all the messengers who brought His message to this Earth
The spirit of Holy Prophet
The spirit of Ali and his followers
The spirit of my saint
The spirit of all his words
Everytime I think of you God, my heart flutters
So I recite the kalma whenever I think of God

Jugni taar khaeein vich thaal
Chad duniya dey janjaal
Kuch ni nibna bandiya naal
Rakhi saabat sidh amaal

O my creation, share whatever you have
Remove yourself from worldly concerns
There is nothing that you can get from other human beings that you can take to the after-life
Just keep you actions and intentions pure

Jugni dig payee vich roi
Othay ro ro kamli hoi
Oddi vaath naye lainda koi
Tey kalmay binna nai mildi toi

So absorbed was the creation that she stumbled into a ditch
There she wailed relentlessly
But there was no one who enquired about her
Remember, there is no salvation for anyone without remembering your creator

Ho wanga charha lo kuriyon
Meray daata dey darbaar dian
Ho naa kar teeya khair piyari
Maan daindiya galaryaan
Din din talhi juwani jaandi
Joon sohna puthia lariyaan
Aurat marad, shehzaday sohney
O moti, O laa lariyaan
Sir da sarfa kar naa jairey
Peen prem pya lariyan
O daatay day darbaan chaa akho
Pawan khair sawa lariyan

Put on your bangles, girls
Those that you get at your Master’s shrines
Daughter, don’t be proud of your youth
Your mother scoffs and scolds you
That with each passing day, your youth slips by
Even gold when put in the furnance moulds itself, there is absolutely no permanence
Women, men are like so beautiful
Like pearls, like the gems
Those who are not self-centered
They are the ones who truly love the humanity
Whenever you visit the darbar of any saint
God fulfils all your wishes and showers you with his blessings

O wanga charha lo kuriyon meray daata tey darbar diyan
O wangha charha lo kuriyon meray daata tey darbar diyan
Dum gutkoon, dum gutkoon, dum gootkoon, gootkoon gootkon

Put on your bangles, girls … Those that you get at your Master’s shrines
Put on your bangles, girls … Those that you get at your Master’s shrines
Jugni ji Jugni ji Jugni ji…

Super... :)
Loving it...

/rm -rf OsamaBinLaden

2011-05-05T21:30:00.002+05:30

Unix says it best: chmod +x /bin/laden

"Well, at least he got to see the royal wedding."

"But he won't get to see who wins Idol."

"Hope he doesn't have any Horcruxes"

"Donald Trump is still asking for his long form death certificate."

☑ Saddam Hussein ☑ Osama Bin Laden ☐ Internet Explorer

BREAKING NEWS: Chuck Norris has just returned from Pakistan.

"R.I.P Osama Bin Laden - World Hide And Go Seek Champion (2001 - 2011)"

"It's like a Snape kills Dumbledore kind of thing."

"Apparently Obama’s birth certificate was Bin Laden’s last horcrux."

Apparently, Elton John will be playing at Bin Laden's funeral, performing his classic song 'Sandals In The Bin'.

The awkward moment when you realise that Osama Bin Laden made 7 Horcruxes.

So Osama is finally dead. Shall we have another bank holiday?

It's amazing what the Americans can do when the Playstation Network is down

Bin Laden's last words: 'I knew I shouldn't have signed up for Foursquare.'

How many fish did they have to feed to those seals, to get them to kill Bin Laden?

Osama's fate has been SEALed

Osama RIP : Osama Rest In Pakistan

Proof enough that Pakistan is not safe :: Even Osama gets killed there.

Osama planned to escape from Pakistan when Rajini declared that he was planning a visit there.

My favorite one of all...

*COUNTER TERRORISTS WIN* respawning in 3... 2... 1...

And the most thought provoking one of all...

A Muslim friend: "Now that Osama is dead, will airports be nicer to me?"

'दम मारो दम' गीत का भावार्थ !!! - Hilarious

2011-05-05T07:34:00.003+05:30

I read this on Alok Ranjan's Blog and Facebook notes.

'दम मारो दम' गीत का भावार्थ

by Alok Ranjan

प्रस्तुत फिल्मी गीत कला और साहित्य के क्षेत्र में निरंतर हो रहे नक़ल और बलात्कार के अद्भुत समन्वय को प्रदर्शित करता है. शीला और मुन्नी जैसे सुपरहिट आयटम गीतों की सफलता की चाह रखने वाले गीतकारों और संगीतकारों ने अपने आयटम गीतों से बाज़ार को भर दिया है. नक़ल की इस दौड़ में 'दम मारो दम' गीत एक शर्मनाक उदाहरण प्रस्तुत करता है जो आने वाले कई वर्षों तक श्रोताओं के मन में वमन (vomit) करने की इच्छा उत्पन्न करता रहेगा. साथ ही साथ इसने श्रोताओं के दिल पे राज करने वाले 'हरे कृष्णा हरे राम' के मौलिक (original) 'दम मारो दम' गीत के साथ क्रूरतापूर्वक साहित्यिक बलात्कार भी किया है.

धन्य है वो गीतकार जिसने एक ही गीत में दो जघन्य अपराधों को इतनी सफाई से अंजाम दिया है. गीतकार के द्वारा पहले लिखे गए गीतों का मैं कायल रहा हूँ. पता नहीं किस मज़बूरी में आकर उसने ऐसे गीत की रचना की! कहीं उन्होंने श्री रामगोपाल वर्मा जैसे दिग्गजों के साथ उठना बैठना तो शुरू नहीं कर दिया.

Aa.aa a..aw..
Aa..aaa..aa aww...

Hey..!!
Phir Dekh Raha Hai
Aaj Aankh Sek raha hai
Kal haath Seekega
Aaj Dheel Choda Raha hai
Kal Khud hi tokega
Aaj Mere liye Chair kheench raha hai
Kal Meri Skirt Kheenchega
Kheeche ga ki nahin ? hmm... ?

गीत की शुरुआत एक स्त्री द्वारा यौन संसर्ग के भूखे पुरुषों पर टिप्पणी से होती है. एक नज़र में लगता है कि ये शब्द पुरुष की मानसिकता का गहरा मनोवैज्ञानिक सत्य उजागर करते हैं. फिर अगले ही पल अहसास होता है कि वह स्त्री खुद ही ज़्यादा इच्छुक है. वह अपनी इच्छा का दायित्व पुरुष पर लादते हुए अपने भावनाओं को बड़े ही सस्ते और छिछोरे ढंग से व्यक्त करती है. पर धैर्य रखें! सस्तेपन और छिछोरेपन के इससे भी ज्यादा ऊंचे शिखर आगे के शब्दों में स्पर्श किये गए हैं.

Aakkad bakkad Bambay bo
Aassi Nabbe Poore Sau
Sau rupaye ka Dum jo lun
Do sau gum ho udan Chhu

Phir kyun main tu
kar rahe Tain Tu....

इन शब्दों का न कोई मतलब है ना इस सन्दर्भ में सार्थकता. बस इतना पता चलता है कि नायिका की मनोवैज्ञानिक दशा बड़ी खराब है. नशा करके वो अपनी पीड़ा भूलने का प्रयत्न करती है.

Unche se uncha banda,
potty pe baithe nanga..
Phir kaahey ki society,
saali kaahey ka paakhanda..
Bheje se kaleje se, kaleje ke khaleje se
Mit jaaye hum, maroge toh jiyo bhi dum maaro dum.

ये शब्द घटियापन के माउंट एवरेस्ट हैं. कई लेखकों को लगता है कि मल, मूत्र और सेक्स से सम्बंधित बेमतलब की टिप्पणियाँ करने से उनके लेखन में गहराई आती है. उनके लेखन से ऐसा महसूस होता है कि सड़क की गंदी नाली खुद में समुद्र जैसी विशालता की कल्पना कर बैठी है. पर सच्चाई यह है कि नाली में गोते लगाकर आप मोती नहीं पा सकते, सिर्फ पैर गंदे कर सकते हैं.

यहाँ गीतकार की बात से भी ऐसा ही लगता है. वो चाहता क्या है? यही कि ऊंचे बन्दे शौच में कपडे पहनकर बैठें? क्या इससे सोसायटी ज़्यादा प्रामाणिक और बेहतर बन जायेगी? क्या सोसायटी का पाखण्ड इससे कम हो जाएगा? शौच में नंगे बैठने से सोसायटी के पाखण्ड का क्या सम्बन्ध है - यह रहस्य कई श्रोताओं के सामने है.

Dum Maaro Dum
Mit Jaaye Ghum

Bolo Subha Shaam
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna
Hare Krishnaa
Hare Ram

Dum Maro Dum
Mit Jaye Gham
Bolo Subha Shaam
Hare Krishna..Hare Krishna
Hare Krishnaa

Hare Krishna..Hare Krishna
Hare Krishnaa
Hare Ram

Duniya ne hum ko diya kya?
Duniya se hum ne liya kya?
Hum sab ki parva karen kyun?
Sub ne hamaara kiya kya?

Aa aa..aaaa..aaa..a
aa..aaa...aaa..aaa

Dum Maaro Dum
Mit Jaye Gham
Bolo Subha Shaam
Hare Krishna..Hare Krishna
Hare Krishnaa..Hare राम

यहाँ हम पुराने 'दम मारो दम' गीत के शब्द सुनते हैं. थोड़ा आराम महसूस होता है. लगता है सूअर के बाड़े से निकलकर किसी साफ़-सुथरे बगीचे में आ गए हैं. यहाँ अंगरेजी के प्रसिद्ध लेखक मार्क ट्वेन द्वारा एक युवा लेखक पर की गयी टिप्पणी याद आती है - 'तुम्हारी रचनाएँ मौलिक भी हैं और बेहतरीन भी. पर जो हिस्सा मौलिक है वो बेहतरीन नहीं है. और जो हिस्सा बेहतरीन है वो मौलिक नहीं है.' ठीक उसी तरह इस गीत के जो शब्द अच्छे हैं वो मौलिक नहीं है, और जो शब्द मौलिक हैं वो अच्छे नहीं हैं.

Kya hai kahani Tere paap ki
Topi Hai pyare Har Naap ki
Khuli hai supermarket Baap Ki
Kya hai Pasand kaho aap ki

Andar ke bandar se ho Guftagu si ek baat
Thi jusjtu si ek baat
ho Guftgu si ek baat

फिर से इन शब्दों के साथ हम सूअर के बाड़े में प्रवेश करते हैं. इन्हें सुनकर लगता है मानो कोई सड़कछाप वेश्या किसी अय्याश अमीरजादे को उकसा रही है. कंडोम और पुरुष जननांगों के लिए बेहूदी उपमाओं का इस्तेमाल करके यहाँ गीतकार भद्दी अश्लीलता पर अपनी पकड़ को दर्शाता है. कभी-कभी तो लगता है कि कहीं वो हिन्दी अश्लील साहित्य के पुरोधा श्री मस्तराम का पुनर्जन्म तो नहीं!

Phir kyun main tu
kar rahe Tain Tu....

Unche se uncha banda,
potty pe baithe nanga..
Phir kaahey ki society,
saali kaahey ka paakhanda..
Bheje se kaleje se, kaleje ke khaleje se
Mit jaaye hum, maroge toh jiyo bhi dum maaro dum.

Dum Maaro Dum
Mit Jaae Gam
Bolo Subah Shaam
Hare Krishna..Hare Krishnaa
Hare Krishnaa..Hare raam

Dum Maaro Dum
Mit Jaye Gham
Bolo Subha Shaam
Hare Krishna..Hare Krishna
Hare Krishnaa..

Hare Krishna..Hare Krishna.
Hare ram

Aa aa..aaaa..aaa..a

यहाँ फिर से हम गीत के शब्दों को सुनते हैं और मन ही मन शुक्रिया अदा करते हैं कि गीत ख़त्म हुआ. पर साथ ही एक प्रश्न की शुरुआत हमारे मन में होती है. हमारा संविधान मनुष्यों के साथ होने वाले बलात्कार पर कड़ी सज़ा देता है. पर साहित्यिक रचनाओं के साथ होने वाले बलात्कार पर कौन सजा देगा?

कॉपीराईट: आलोक रंजन

......................................................

ब्लॉग: http://alok160.blogspot.com/

And when you are at it...
Don't forget to read his Munni Badnam Hui and Sheela ki Jawaani commentary as well.. :P :D :D

To The Girl Who Wants To Marry Me !!!

2011-04-29T21:40:00.001+05:30

Of late a lot of people(especially my female friends) have been constantly asking, if they should start looking out for a girl for me. No, I am not desperate, Please... !!!

Honestly speaking, I have absolutely no intention of getting married. Even when I tell it out loud and clear, they assume its only a manifestation of my inner desire to get married (duh !!!).

So recently a couple of friends got down to the real basics and asked me what were my expectations. Though, I had my answer then and there, they insisted that I think it over and get back to them. So I spent the excessively long weekend to think up on a lot of things. Read a lot of blogposts and related articles. Particularly impressed by this, but still felt there was more I could add.

The below list is a result of this effort.

She should know the difference between an egoist and an egotist.

So that she would know who is talking to her when I talk to her.

She must have the reading habit. Even if not Sophie Kinsella and Sidney Sheldon, atleast Chetan Bhagat and Vikram Seth. Not even that ? Atleast Womens' Era and Femina - (Vikatan, Kumudam and Mangaiyar Malar is a big plus)

So that she would be able to appreciate my reading habit.

Must know how many centuries/half centuries/runs Sachin has scored in all forms of the game.

So that I can celebrate Sachin's victories with her.

Should not have watched more than 3 Vijay Films in theatre.

[If yes, she is by default "infected".Rejuct !!! Rejuct !!! Rejuct !!!]

No comments

She must know the keyboard controls for CounterStrike and must be sometimes willing to become the enemy. She should spare me sometimes, and sometimes finish me. And we should play the game when we are really mad at each other.

So that I am always reminded that CounterStrike is just a game.

And pray that such a travesty never occurs in real life.

She should be able to tolerate (if unable to appreciate) my fashion sense.

I will find her beautiful always, whether its Kanchipuram Silk or plain Cotton saree.

She must not insist on going to the Cinemas for watching movies all the time.

Sometimes some movies are best watched holding hands, eating home made food, cuddling together, at home.

She should know who are Charlie's angels and my favorite one as well.

She must not mistake wikiLeaks for some plumbing advertisement.

She need not be extremely intelligent but should be able to beat me at my own arguments solely on logic. She must,of course, sometimes be dumb as well.

So that I am reminded that I am imperfect as well.

She should not mind me clicking her photos - random pics.

She should sometimes leave her mobile at home and go somewhere without telling me and then come back late.

So that I get an opportunity to get angry at her (mock-anger) and then force her to make up with me. But the real reason would be "So that I'll miss her like hell."

She should have her own blog, and rant on it as frequently as possible.

That is the one of the ways I'll come to know why she is mad at me. Also an easy way to find out what she wants for her birthday/anniversary.

Talking of Birthdays and Anniversaries, she must make an effort to surprise me every birthday I get younger with her. And no, enough books already. Surprise me baby.. !!!

For Anniversaries, it should never be a lop-sided affair. She must also make an effort to gift me something. After all am I not the one thing that she cherishes the most in life.

She MUST know her Mahabharata and Ramayana - atleast the basics puh-lease !!!

She must be able to enjoy "dandanakka danukkanakka" with the same enthu as Gaptun fighting Baakissdhaan Terrorists with one leg on the wall and "sozhaitifying" the other one around.'

She must know words like "chamathu", "saatrumanthu", "thobbakadeer", "gudugudu" (among others)and use them in day-today-life. :)

She should sometimes talk total nonsense. And I should have the opportunity to record it.

So that I can have a good laugh whenever I listen to it, and also make fun of her.

As bare minimum requirements she should have accounts in Scribd, Picasa, Flickr, Twitter, Facebook. She must subscribe to atleast 3 dozen blogs on the Internet and be up-to-date with latest tech trends. She must know how to download files from Megaupload, Rapidshare, Mediafire and 4Shared. [DepositFiles, DropBox users are also encouraged]

She should know the difference between a TV Recording, Webcast and PodCast.

She must know the difference between Vadakalai and Thengalai. She must also know the difference between Vadama (An Iyer Sub-Caste) and Vadamaalai (One that you make Hanuman wear on Saturdays..)

She must watch some really good TV Programmes. Not those damn reality shows that show soft porn on prime time. And of course, she has to up-to-date with all the latest gossip on TV and Cinema world.

So that she can always fill me up on what I am missing.

She must have long hair. Atleast till hips. (OK.. That is too much to ask for) Atleast till her shoulders.

She shouldn't mind wearing short pants/shirts when I am around, but know that I love the sari version of her more than anything else.

She should be able to imitate me, my voice and my mannerisms.

So that we can always have a good laugh teasing each other.

I want her to find me cute and handsome and sexy.

I want her to keep looking in my direction when at any social event, talk to me with her eyes and MUST flirt with me.

She must be the one takes the first step in holding my hands.

She should definitely have a few guy friends and talk to them strictly occasionally.

So that I would only grow slightly jealous and more possessive about her.

I want her to have an opinion. Certainly not on Everything. But for the things that matter. And I want her opinion to differ from mine. Not always, but more often.

I am totally OK if she disappoints me in some of these expectations. There have to be a couple of disappointments to be able to enjoy the good things in life.

I wouldn't want her to know everything. There are some things which I'd like to learn together, with her.

After reading all this,

If you reading this and you are a girl who thinks I might be an interesting person, you know how to contact me. :P

P.S:- This IS NOT an official Matrimonial Advertisement. Please don't send me "Love You" or "Wanna Marry you" mails. My inbox is already flooded. And NO !!!, No anonymous friend requests on FB Please.. !!!

P.P.S:- The Other Libran Girl after reading this post, said in her own inimitable style in Tamizh, "Chuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmaaaaaa !!!!" :)

P.P.P.S:- Three women whom I admire and look up to, read a draft of this post, and said, that they were officially withdrawing their offer of looking out for a girl for me.

P.P.P.P.S:- All three, even went to the extent, of saying, "If you ever find such a girl, Marry Her and Take very good care of her. And don't bring her near our husbands !!! " You bet, I would marry her and Wouldn't even let your husbands have a look at her. !!! :) :D :P

P.P.P.P.P.S:- If you find some of the points really romantic (or) mushy (or) disgusting (as your taste may be), and totally unlike the Hari that you've known, Sorry, You just haven't known me yet.. :P :D

P.P.P.P.P.P.S:- To my Sister :: You DID NOT read this post. This one completely missed your eyes and did not appear in your feed anywhere !!! If you wish to discuss anything about this post, please remember, this post does not exist !!! :P :D

The Strange Case of Two Libran Women !!!

2011-04-24T15:20:00.002+05:30

Fact #1 :: The people in this post are all true and exist. And yes, I regularly have hour-long (sometimes much longer) conversations with them.

Fact #2 :: Ok... And Before you start to conjecture. This is NOT a love story. I am not in Love with any of the women mentioned in the below paragraphs. OK. Atleast that's what I want you to think.

Fact #3 :: The Title initially thought out was "The Other Libran Girl" inspired by "The Other Boleyn Girl". Then I thought, since I would be mentioning about two women here, I'd better do justice to both, hence the change in title.

Fact #4 :: "The Libran Girl" & "The Other Libran Girl" are two different people. As different as a PC and a Mac.

Fact #5 :: I am not comparing these two women. Never !!! I will never let such a travesty to happen. Read the Epilogue to gather more information.

#Start of Prelude
Before I start this story, there is another incident which acts as the precursor to all of this. Around February 2010, I had this burning desire to get myself a Tarot Card Reading. To cut a long story short, I got one of my colleagues to do a reading for me, and she gave me quite a few predictions. One of them was

"In another three months you will meet a girl. And this girl will change your life forever."

At that point of time, being the eager and curious chap that I was, I interpreted that quote as "meeting the girl of my dreams" and I was literally jumping with joy.

Before you come to any conclusion, there is an Epilogue regarding this prediction at the end.

Fact #6 :: I forgot the prediction in a week.

#End of Prelude

The Libran Girl

I first met "The Libran Girl" at an extended work-place. It ALL started (as clichéd as it might sound) pretty ordinarily. There were no eyes flashing, slo-mo glances and stuff. In fact it was pretty stuffy in the dingy place. We never did any real talking till the time we all decided to go to a tourist place. And that was when we both started talking.

The conversations picked up steam very very slowly. Soon it was time for "The Libran Girl" to depart. She wouldn't believe it if I said this to her face, but the day she left, or rather the moment she walked out of the door with all her baggage, I wished so hard, that she would walk back and declare that she was just kidding. Sigh !! :)

But we did manage to keep in touch via phone. It was on the Phone, that the actual "getting-to-know" stuff happened. And hell, we did learn a lot about each other. The Libran Girl kept insisting that I come visit her. She really really is very persistent. So visit her I did. During the short visit, we exchanged a lot of notes - common stuff, problems, awesome lunch/dinners during weekends - and plenty of esoteric knowledge as well.

Honestly I learnt a lot more from her, than she actually learnt from me. More on those learnings a little while later.

On the day last I met her, I was all senti, and she said in one line "No sentiments yaar. We are not living in 1970's that we can't visit each other. We are nothing less than a night's travel apart. So chill."

Post that, there has been heavy gtalk and IM stuff going on. We've had conversations that ran into multiple days.. :P :D

The Other Libran Girl

I did not meet "The Other Libran Girl". It was Chance/God that made the meeting happen. And guess what, God gave me the Phone number along with her photo. :) :D

I am not going to clarify further. :P. Nevertheless, what initially started as something very very formal has quickly blossomed into a very healthy friendship of which I am really proud of. The best part of the whole episode - We haven't yet met each other !!!

We have been talking over the phone. "The Other Libran Girl" was never in the prediction that my colleague made for me, but it has happened somehow.

I tell both these women, quite often, that I adore them. Totally. Each shows to me a different aspect every day, that I am sometimes too stunned for words. They never fail to amaze me. Day after Day. Both these women have changed my life in ways I never thought. One brought back my interest in something that I had almost abandoned - for lack of someone to share my knowledge with. The other has made me get in touch with my inner-self, asking me some deeply profounding questions for which I have no answers.

Here is a quick comparison between the two. No Offence meant ladies. Just seeing how two people, born under the same sun-sign can be soooooo very different. :)

First the Similarities.

# Both are extremely attractive women, capable of flooring any guy on the block.
# Intelligent, charming and sensitive.
# "The Libran Girl" and "The Other Libran Girl" have a way with words.
# The way both of them apologize makes sure that you cannot FOREVER be angry at them
# Both of them show a genuine interest in people - which is so very Libran.
# They are usually busy all the weekends.
# Both of them wear specs. :)
# Both have admitted to me, that I am one of the most intelligent man they have met in their lives.

Now coming to the differences. Now this is going to be a big list. :)

The Libran Girl
The Other Libran Girl
Pretty headstrong and is capable of taking independent decisions and stick to them.
Needs a lot of coaxing to even get into the decision making mode.
Takes time to take decisions but those are usually correct/sensible/morally right.
Keeps contemplating options even after making a decision.
Is pretty much non-Geek. Doesn't delve too much into techie stuff.
Totally GEEK. Can take down any Geeky guy with her coding knowledge and skills.
Knows a couple of languages.
Knows a whole bunch of languages and is a instructor in some of them.
Knows her epics like the back of her hand. Pretty much up-to-date with controversies.
Totally clueless. Cannot differentiate Sita from Mandodari.
Reads extensively and keeps herself updated with the outside world
"Reading ?? What is that?". Reads only non-fiction. (Thank God). Selectively.
Very Very persistent. Sticks to one thing and makes sure she gets it.
Totally without "stick-to-it"ness. Will drop and move on to other things, at the drop of a hat.
Not that social. Has a good number of friends. Does not bother if one of them disowns. :P
Very Social. Huge Social Circle. 'n' number of friends with whom she HAS to kind of socialize otherwise they will disown her.
Does not pay much attention to make-up and cosmetics, but can look very pretty when she makes an effort to. And can dress-to-kill for the occasion.
Dresses for every single event as if it were some wedding reception. Has to look stunning and will go to any effort to look totally awesome. :)
Awesome Attention span. Very Good listener.
Suffers from AADS (Advanced Attention Deficiency Syndrome). Cannot concentrate on one thing for more than 10 minutes max. After which subject loses interest and changes tack. Bad listener. Excellent Yapper.
Can remember things from conversations that happened really really long time ago and those that I labeled as trivial.
Pathetic short term memory. Cannot remember stories that were told the day before.
Tone and Choice of words – pretty much aggressive. J
Will not hesitate to abuse.
Pretty much toned down choice of words. But,
Will not hesitate to abuse.
Signature Word :: "Hare Krsna !!!"
Signature Word :: "Yeah, Right !!!"

Phew..!!! Quite a list, ain't it ?

I am thankful to god, for bringing these women into my life and literally changing the course of my life. A lot has changed in my life after the arrival of these two women. Not one milestone in my life. Two to be precise !!!

I connect with "The Libran Girl" in a more intellectual manner, its more mature. "The Other Libran Girl" connects with me in a more personal, emotional manner - child like.

Thanks "The Libran Girl" and "The Other Libran Girl" for graciously accepting me for what I am, and for putting up with a character like me, who can put sulphuric acid to shame with his words and send Cho Ramaswamy tottering back home with his sarcasm.

I wanted to record this on my blog, because I felt that was the best way I could cherish these memories. I hope and pray that we stay as we are now, forever. (Further developments are encouraged. :P ...)

#Epilogue

Fact #7 :: The whole prediction thing came crashing down on me, in late February, this year, when I realized what my colleague had predicted. It had never occurred to me, even for a single instant in the past 9 months, to look forward into the prediction. :). In hind-sight, the past 12 months have been the best 12 months in a long long time. Strange are the ways of providence. :) :D

P.S:- And if you are wondering what I was referring to in many places, Read my post on what I did in August in 2010 Here. :P :D

Lessons to be learnt from "The Kiruba Backlash"

2011-04-22T09:00:00.010+05:30

Honestly speaking, I never knew what had happened until I saw SpyMaami's tweet that read

This Kiruba backlash is missing The Mad Momma. Where is she?

And then started my digging into Social Media Archives on what happened.
(Its a shame that I am getting to it after such a long time)

The tweet in question was this.

And this what triggered the "Kiruba-Massacre" on Twitter. What actually happened was that people sidelined the main issue of "a child driving a car on the highway" and resorted to personal attacks. One called Kiruba a "village idiot". One blogger from Singapore, hit below the belt with this comment.

#ThisDayThatAge Kiruba rises to fame putting up Trisha video. Trisha vows to never take bath again. He becomes Blogger#1. Trisha endorses Fa

Going by the volume of tweets on Twitter, it was clear, Kiruba was being hounded. A lot of people did not like him. A LOT is actually an understatement. The animosity that they (the people) had against him, manifested itself in tweets that can be classified from #nauseating to #outrightedlyDisgusting.

For a small duration of time on 20th April, #Kiruba was trending twitter. Kiruba did not waste his time trying to explain his action, but rather after the incident, he put up a blog post that said he was trying to get his kids learn by involvement. He called it Involvement Learning. The problem was that this did not go down well with others. They were outraged further. Check out the comments section of the page for some really rude/vengeful comments.

He later posted a tongue-in-cheek photo, that sure had many of his trolls red in the face. His tweet read -

Photo of my 9 year old daughter riding a bike all by herself.

And the picture he put up was -

Agreed. What Kiruba did is wrong. He issued an apology and tweeted about it. He took all the jokes and blogposts and tweets pretty casually. How many of the trolls can do that ? Don't tell me, he'd better take them casually, because he was on the wrong side. How many of us apologise when we are on the wrong side ?

I do not understand and I do not wish to know what these people had against Kiruba. It had to be something personal for sure, because when I see people like Navin Kabra write up a blog post like this, I am surprised. This incident went on to spawn some more crazy stuff like the one here. One more cartoon is re-produced below, that has Kiruba himself taking it pretty well and commenting on it first. Taken from BollyGlot.

And the joke seems to be quite funny to many a people, who are spawning more nauseating stuff. I feel sick. Not because I cannot stand it, its because people are acting so immature and sadistic. Well, Kiruba made a mistake. He owned up. As one of the tweeters(@logic) said in response to a tweet by @beastoftraal who said that Kiruba should issue an explanation.

@beastoftraal well d problem i see is he accepts mistakes very late.Untill strangled he says "My rabbit has only 3 legs" & am right #kiruba

My point here is that atleast he accepts his mistake. There are hundreds of other totally wacky and arrogant tweeters, who go scot free. I've personally seen some tweeters go 'beep-beep-beep' on twitter. That's perfectly fine right ?

It brought out a new tag. #notlegalbutsafe. But I have this one question to ask all these people out there, who were making fun of Kiruba with this tag...

#Have you never paid a bribe to any government officer anywhere, under any circumstances ?
#Have you never bought/read a pirated book ? Ever ? Not even online ?
#Have you booked/registered your plot for full value in any of the registrar offices in India ?
#Have you ever sold/exchanged/travelled on a ticket meant for someone else, expecting the TTR not to check your e-ticket ?
#Did you buy gold at GRT or Tanishq or Kalyan without the bill so that you would not have to pay the Tax ?

I have more questions to ask, but am restricting myself here. If the answer to any one of these questions is Yes, Then, Can I say that the #notlegalbutsafe tag is applicable to you too as well ?

I am not on any side here. I am not supporting Kiruba. Nor am I accusing him. He made the mistake of admitting to a mistake on a social forum, and look how they hound him.

And it is only natural, that a person's past also comes up on occassions like these. Kiruba was earlier involved in a Wikipedia incident which was blown out of proportions, offline and online as well. Kiruba has blogged about it here. And Wiki has issued its clarification here.

So why is Kiruba being targeted ?
#Can I say that people are just jealous that someone has made it big - has a widely followed blog, is an entrepreneur and has so many followers on Twitter and Facebook ?
#Have people become trolls on the Internet, that all they care is to find some bakra whom they can trash ?
[Most of the tweeters who were trashing Kiruba had such pathetic spellings that I felt, that, when confronted, these people would give excuses citing their mobile "un-comfi-ness" as a reason]
#Is being Rude and Nasty the "In-Thing" on the Internet ? Is it the instant fame ? But is there really glory in this ?

Coming to the Gyaan part of the incident. Here are the learnings.

#Do not mix Personal and Professional Life.

Am not sure, how much of Kiruba's professional life was affected by this incident but am sure it would have been significant.

I do understand that at some point of time, mixing Personal and Professional life becomes unavoidable. They come as part of the package. But things like, Going to The Mall, Travelling to Hyderabad for a personal trip, Going Abroad for a holiday can be avoided as much as possible, if unable to eliminate such an event. If you really want to inform, use the mailbox or auto-mailers. And you know pretty well, if its really really important, the news will reach you, no matter what.

#Avoid having too much of your Personal/Professional life online.

As a matter of fact, I do not have details of the organization where I work, online ANYWHERE. It really becomes a pain, when you cannot be yourself anywhere online. You cannot rant on it on your blog. You cannot put it up as a status on your FB or Twitter for fear of your employer reading it. Have a compartment, where someone sees only what they should be able to see. Set up lists/ Use such mechanisms to keep things in place.

#Take criticism graciously. When you can't, keep your mouth shut.

The trolls feed on what you provide them with. You don't feed the fire, it dies out pretty soon. And when you are in deep-shit, accept it graciously and move on. Shit Happens.

#Be nice to people. Either way you move - horizontal or vertical. You might need their help.

People turn into trolls mainly because we could not help them in some way or we were rude to them in past (for some trivial reason) or we refused a request from them. People remember things for a long time, when their egos are hurt. So remember not to ruffle too many feathers during your climb.

#Do not rant about your mistakes on Social Media

These days every Tom Dick and Hari calls himself a Social Media Evangelist/Observer/Enthusiast. Everybody has "found" out the way Social Media works. Your one tweet is going to stay longer with the presence of tools like TwitLonger and archiving tools like IceRocket. With the ubiquitousness of Internet on Smartphones, everybody is connected online. Just imagine this, Being on twitter is like sending out an email to 10,000 of your colleagues - except for the fact that it is restricted to 140 characters. Would you send out a mail highlighting how you bypassed the proxy :)... Or would you tell the world, how you found porn on a colleague's shared folder ? It's something akin to that.

#Be Alert/Responsible.

What you say in jest can be used against you later. And it will only be in an incriminating sense. We've seen cases in the past where people lost jobs because of status updates on Facebook and Twitter. Hence be totally aware of the direction in which your tweet is going to take you.

Remember, It only takes a tweet - To Trend. #Fame or #epicFail. That's your choice.

Today it is Kiruba. Tomorrow it could be you. Better get some lessons from Kiruba on how to handle backlash, they might come in handy.

April Edition of Stentorian is Out....

2011-04-20T00:07:00.004+05:30

The April Edition of TheStentorian is out.

I have 3 articles for this month :)

The Next Big Thing - Part 2 - A Guide to Starting-Up

How to say "NO" to grabbing a cup of Coffee - Under Office Etiquette ...

And as usual - Sun Signs for April.

But the ones that impress me the most this month are as ::

Friends with Ex ??

The Question of Want and Wanting more !!!

Happy Reading... And of course, if you like the article - Please share and reshare.. :)

Hey There Delilah - Its what you do to me..

2011-04-19T21:36:00.003+05:30

Thank you M for introducing me to such a wonderful song...
Fantastic Lyrics !!! Mind blowing !!!
"What you do to me"

Hey There Delilah lyrics
Songwriters: Higgenson, Tom;

Hey there Delilah what's it like in New York City
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty, yes you do
Times Square can't shine as bright as you, I swear it's true

Hey there Delilah don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely give this song another listen
Close your eyes, listen to my voice it's my disguise
I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah, I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl, someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good, we'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good

Hey there Delilah, I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away, I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fall, we'd have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
And we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way

Delilah I can promise you
That by the time that we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do

You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

On why I disagree with IHM ...

2011-04-18T23:43:00.004+05:30

I love to read blogs. Especially bloggers who write really excellent stuff, without holding themselves back. IHM is one such blogger, but today when I read (on Google Reader) a post by her, I am tempted to write this post.

[I agree that the post is not her own, but one among the ones that she posts - which are forwarded. NOM, but some amount of sense should have prevailed before it was posted]

The post in question is here.

The title of the post reads "Some happy relationship rules. Add yours?". IHM then lists one rule after another. Yes. That's perfectly fine, until #15.

"Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later."

I agreed with all the points in question except for this one. This one rankled me. It kept haunting me to be honest. If all these points are applicable for a woman, am sure, atleast some of these will be applicable for men as well.

Would a woman accept it "open-heartedly" or "more than willingly" the fact that her husband hid something from her .. ? (need not be an extra marital affair always - it can be a secret loan that he took before marriage and never told his wife about. It can also be a secret ailment he is suffering from [but getting treatment for it as well])

I can say with crystal clarity that the woman will be wild and totally unconvinced once she comes to realize that her husband hadn't told/confided her. For her, its a feeling of being used but not considered worthy enough to be confided.

How does a woman feel when her man does not confide in her ? Very Happy right ? Shouldn't she be proud and declare to her neighbours "Oh.. Mere pati to mujhse kuch bhi nahi bolte. Bahut shaanth hain ji.." - or "My husband doesn't open up to me actually. But he is a nice guy."

If the guy doesn't talk about his past, he is labeled as hiding something, with skeletons in his cabinet, but when a woman does this, its perfectly fine. Yeah.. Right.. !!!

How the guy feels, in what way does it make a difference to the girl here ?
Who the Bloody F is he ?
Why should the guy feel anything ?
He is after all there, just looking for an opportunity to screw another woman.
Isn't it ?
And is waiting to make his wife/current partner a dummy piece.
Perfect. Makes perfect sense.
Who is this man ?
What right does he have to know her past ?
And Why The F should the woman tell him everything ?

I have seen men labeled as "Bastards","MC's" and "BC's" (Hindi ones), "Perverts", "Filth" among many other choicest epithets that women hurl on men. I've frequently had more than one woman tell me "All men are bastards" on not one, but multiple occasions.

I always tell this to all my woman friends/colleagues. Make a statement, Its appreciated, but do not generalize. NEVER !!!

I take offence at generalization. I take offence at Stereotyping. I have certain theories which clearly indicate the nature of woman. As much as woman trash it, mainly because it shows their narrow minded personality, I am very much sure that the experiments that I conducted were 98% accurate. I have Data !!! It will not take me much time to make a statement like ... Well, forget it. Nevertheless, the point being made here is totally ridiculous by IHM.

As one blogger rightly points out in the comments section of the same post

"...I just dont see the point in hiding something purposely from the person I trust and want to spend the rest of my life with."

I rest my case.

WoW ... Now that's really special.. :)

2011-04-06T01:29:00.004+05:30

My "Date a Guy who Reads" has been shared and re-shared on Tumblr like hell.. and am loving it. :)

Many thanks to 500DaysofKissingMyPillow. Who first posted it on Tumblr.

There have been 830 comments/likes/shares of it so far and its really amazing to see the response and the spread of the share. At not a single place has my name been taken off or the credits not given. :)

Here are some of the places where that post has been shared.

http://jhanaenaebonnick.tumblr.com/page/2

http://quina.tumblr.com/post/4201883879/date-a-guy-who-reads-ever-seen-a-guy-spend

http://asmyworldslowlyturns.tumblr.com/post/4203809081/date-a-guy-who-reads-ever-seen-a-guy-spend

http://quotemuse.tumblr.com/post/4210027079/date-a-guy-who-reads-ever-seen-a-guy-spend

http://randomdalliances.tumblr.com/page/2

http://whiterabbitcomplex.tumblr.com/

http://starlightexpress.tumblr.com/post/4254312208/date-a-guy-who-reads-ever-seen-a-guy-spend

http://perempuankurangwaras.tumblr.com/

http://iamtwistedsunshine.tumblr.com/post/4279988341/date-a-guy-who-reads-ever-seen-a-guy-spend

http://activoir.tumblr.com/post/4248371146/date-a-guy-who-reads-ever-seen-a-guy-spend

http://asmyworldslowlyturns.tumblr.com/page/3

Thanks a lot folks... You made my Day... :)

You can read the original post here.

On Why I Am In Love ...

2011-04-05T21:27:00.002+05:30

... With Quora.

I am going to tell a small story - in a nutshell - and let you decide.

The story I am going to tell, is about Nick Huber and is already present in great detail here at Quora. Though the point of his story is different, I am taking a different learning from the story.

For those of you who are really really lazy to read through the post, here is a quick recount. Nick visited Las Vegas and on his way back to the airport, he befriended a cabbie. The cab driver was a very nice man and soon struck a conversation with Nick. Nick too took a genuine interest in the man and the cab driver was soon recounting his life's story. He shared pictures on his flip phone with Nick and also told him that he was residing at a place which cost him only $300 and was still very safe - he obviously took pride in the fact that he was living honorably.

He had come to Las Vegas to become a Black Jack [ the most popular casino game in the world and the experts are called Black Jacks ]. His fate led him to be a cab driver and he was driving for almost 16 years now. The cab driver enjoyed Nick's company and though he never mentioned it, Nick could sense a loneliness within him.

The airport arrived, the fare paid and after Nick gets in, he realises that his iPhone had slipped in the taxi. He had already "lost" his iPhone once in Buenos Aires [his cabbie had stolen it] and Nick was very sceptical about getting this one back too. He called up the number and the cab driver picked it up. He told Nick that he'll be there in 15 minutes. When Nick calls up after 15 minutes, the cabbie says he is at the entrance. Nick collects his iPhone and pays the cabbie $20.

End of Story.

But this chain of events sets Nick thinking. And here is the best part of the whole thing, that brought a lump to my throat.

However, something was bothering me ever since I left him: why was a guy like that driving a cab for 16 years? In the world I want to live in, a guy like that gets a great break after a few years from some businessman that steps into his cab, realizes his potential and he is on his way to getting more out of life than just a paycheck.

Moreover, why was a guy like this so desperate for someone to tell his story to? Why didn't he have someone or some community to listen to his stories and appreciate him? I can't help but feel that his lack of community and lack of career success were related.

In particular, I think he's just one of many people who do what they're told without really thinking about it. Good people trust other people, because they don't realize how mean and selfish we all can be at times.

I think that somewhere along the line, someone told him he wasn't going to amount to much and he believed them. Or, somehow, after working for 16 years in the service industry and living off of tips (i.e. scraps), he started to believe he is a servant. After selling his time to others for too long, he came to believe he was for sale.

He tells himself something like: there couldn't be something wrong with Las Vegas, America, capitalism or the people around me - there must be something wrong with me.

And this was the point I broke down. I, We, see such people everyday.

That Sugarcane juice vendor, the barber, the Jilebiwala, The autodriver. For us, their existence is only a mere bubble. We hardly think about them in our busy lives. We remember them for just the instant we need to get things done. We do not mind paying 5000 bucks for a pair of shoes at a Nike shoe store and yet we haggle with the cobbler for 5 rupees. And after that poof !!! They don't exist for us anymore.

[At this point of time, I am not supporting them. There are some real miscreants among these people as well, whose only aim is to fleece people and make money.]

What is wrong with this world ?
Is it me ?
Is it them ?
Or is it just the way it is supposed to be ?

I am not answering any questions here. Just thinking aloud.

Thanks Quora. Thanks Nick Huber.
This is a thought that will haunt me for a long long time.

And what have we here...

2011-04-03T20:50:00.004+05:30

Just when I was thinking Jobs on Google Chat was a really really cool penetration into the Job Search market so early (almost 3 years ago), they have come up with another Cracker !!!

They call it the Google Guru.

Ok.. So what does it do ?

It becomes the Guru... :)

Don't understand.. ?

The below screenshot should nail it. :)

OK.. And how to add it to your google chat ?

Send a chat invitation to guru(at)googlelabs.com. Watch the Guru turn green and shoot your questions.... :)

The Great Indian Rip-Off

2011-04-03T18:58:00.005+05:30

Our special correspondent from Mumbai writes ::

Thousands of fans were arrested in the wee hours of Sunday Morning, in what is being termed as the "Single Largest Arrest of Civilians" in Mumbai's Law and Order History.

Pandemonium broke out when around 1 AM on Sunday morning, the Indian Dressing Room started blaring "Tu Nangi Acchi Lagti Hai."

Fans broke all security measures, when one person among the crowd, shouted, "She's there... She's there !!! And she's stripping... !!! "

The fans, who were stunned for a couple of seconds, ran towards the Players dressing room, only to be stopped by the Policemen, who soon realised that they were outnumbered one too many. It took the fans just a couple of pushes and soon they were all running towards the "Grand Stand" to make sure they have the "First Row Seats" for "darshan".

The root cause of this controversy is traced back to a letter written by the model to the board asking them for permission. In her letter she hasdstated that,

"..I want India to win the Cricket World Cup 2011 and am willing to go the extra mile to do anything so that India wins the World Cup. I am ready and willing at any place and time of the Indian teams choosing to go in the nude to boost their sporting spirit to perform better."

"...many studies conducted by various universities abroad which confirms and infers that such performances/expectations boost and inspire people to perform better in any field, be it sports or otherwise. Even medical books on psychology and psychiatry confirms this."

The status of model's humble request to the board is unknown to us, as at this point of time, however we presume that she had gone ahead and decided to "do-the-due" [pun unintended]. Our sources inside the Dressing room indicate that Yuvi and Virat were the most excited of the lot, while Sree and Bhaji were busy biting their nails. Apparently the mayhem outside had disturbed the model's "concentration" and hence the "darshan" was postponed.

For the fans assembled outside, the disappointment was doubled. They were returning empty handed - no darshan. And to add to their woes, they were being arrested, for "breach-of-privacy".

"I call it outrageous and totally unfair. I am a citizen of India, and I believe in such matters, no one person has any privilege over the other. I demand to see it. NOW !!!" - we found one of the arrested fans screaming.

"The Indian Team has let us down very badly. The least they could have done was tweeted about it or atleast taken some pics. We never knew they'd turn out to be so selfish. This was the least they could do to us fans." quipped another.

The news of this stripping is not going down with some Woman-Empowerment-Organizations.

"This is total insanity and atrocious. We did not expect her to behave like this. The least she could do was to demand some payment for her act and then donate it for some charity. We have always been very protective of our women. We, or rather I do not see any reason , why Poonam would do this for publicity or for acting favors. She's a mature woman, who is probably going through her PMS. Nevertheless Woman slavery is something has to be abolished." - Chairperson of "Support-For-Emotionally-Deranged-Woman" - Mrs. ____ said.

But the cricket fraternity seems to have different opinions.

"The boys need some entertainment yaar.. Come on... Give it to them. They have struggled so hard to get the cup." When our correspondent asked which cup, DubaakoorSeth, former Indian captain, supposedly blushed and responded, "Why I meant the world cup, of course."

But amongst the most disappointed of all, was the "Aam-Aadmi" the mango man, who could not even see err.. buy mangoes.

India won the World Cup ... Yeah... Ok... So ... ?

2011-04-02T22:50:00.004+05:30

In what way does India winning the World Cup affect me ?

I realised that it does not in anyway make even an iota of difference.

The auto-wallah is not going to offer me a free ride to office on Tuesday.
The caterers are not going to offer me free meals.
Bus Rides are not going to be free.
Nor is my company going to pay me an extra day's salary.

And yet the whole nation goes beserk when they hear India has won the world cup. I can only laugh at them. Seriously... :)

Dhoni's world cup is not going to solve the problems of the nation.
Nor will it solve the problem of other nations.

For those who wish to tell me,

"Just shut the fuck up..." or
"WTF is your problem ?" or
"Why are you getting so pissed off ?"

You may very well shove your words up your arse. I really don't give them a damn.

Let me be very honest here. I haven't watched a single match in this world cup. Not one. Not even "THE MATCH" of the decade. Mahabharata of All Matches - Ramayana to get back Sita epithets are totally lame for a country that is full of losers and full of work-shirkers. 7 hours !!! Almost one working day.

End benefits of this match ?

People bursting crackers - at an untimely hour - especially when the crackers are purposely exorbitantly priced - reason quoted being - "off-season" crackers.

My twitter and FB Feed getting Raped. Yes, you read that right. Its getting raped mercilessly right now, even as I am typing out this post.

Literally Endless revenue for BCCI and ICC. Plenty of money now.

Cricketers will now get "Rajiv Gandhi Khel Ratna" apart from "NarsimhaRao Khel Puraskar" - "Khel-Sadbhavana Puraskar" etc.

Some of them will get divorced/break-up with their current girlfriends and hook up with new ones.

All of them will get awesome flats - worth crores - in prime locations. With plenty of cash rewards.

What do you get ?

The satisfaction that Sachin finally got "his" World Cup ?
Pride as Dhoni finally played a captain's knock ?
Happiness as Yuvraj proved his critics wrong ?
Vindicated as Ashwin's wizardry has been brought to fore ?

Don't come up with Patriotism and bullshit. Try some other tack. This one's damn bloody and stale and has begun to stink.

Yeah and what else does this do ?

Spark off endless debates on Forums/FB/Twitter on

When Sachin should announce his retirement.
On how Sachin has never performed when it really counted.
On how Dhoni has spanked all his critics.
On how Dhoni's innovative captaincy methods have revived Indian Cricket.

And of course, Don't be surprised if some jackass from Harvard Business Review comes down to publish a paper on the Winning Model of the Indian Cricket Team - For World Cup 2011.

Ithellam oru pozhappa ? Thooo... !!!

I wonder what she was thinking...

2011-04-02T15:12:00.003+05:30

I visited a friend today, and from the balcony of his flat on the second floor, I can see a lot of other high-rise buildings. One of the buildings was hardly 20 metres away from the balcony where I stood.

And as I stood there, enjoying the cool breeze in the shade, I noticed a woman standing on the fourth floor of the building opposite mine.

Before you start conjecturing ...
She was not pretty/sexy/hot or anything to that effect. A typical working woman (assumption) married to Yet-Another-Software-Professional (assumption). She was wearing a jeans and a t-shirt and standing on the balcony.

Well, what's wrong with that ?
Nothing, except that she was crying. And not bawling her heart out. The silent crying that women do. Sniff your nose. Wipe the tears off the eyes, making sure the Kajal does not smudge. Look far into the sky and then repeat the process once again.

All the while, she kept looking at the entrance of the Balcony, perhaps worried that her husband might walk in and notice her crying.

I suddenly started thinking about "Why was this woman crying ?"

"Did her husband make her slog, by asking her to cook a lot of things ?"
"Did he hit/physically abuse her ?"
"Did he speak ill of her parents ? or refused to let her go to her parents house ?"
"Did he invite his parents over, without asking her ?"
"Did he speak harsh words about her and her character ?"
"Did he say "no" to that other child that she had been longing for ?"
"Did she miss her parents ?"
"Did her siblings/friends called her and spoke rudely to her ?"

I seriously do not know what troubled her, but my heart went out for that woman, standing out alone on the balcony and crying...

You know what is Bliss... V

2011-03-29T00:13:00.001+05:30

When someone whom you admire a lot, comes up to you and says, "I missed you." It makes me go weak in the knees.

Bliss.

जो भी था क्या थोडा था ?

2011-03-23T22:44:00.002+05:30

I came across this video from FB and then cross linked to Youtube from there. Amazing words. Very powerful. I can relate to them. Hope you can too..

Am posting the lyrics below the video. All credit to original uploaders and writers.

Apne dais ko rotay bhi ho
Chain se par kar sotay bhi ho
Apne dais ka gham kaisa hai
Hanstay bhi ho rotay bhi ho
Kis ne kahaa thaa aao yahaan
Aa kar bas jaaoo yahaan
Jab dais tumhaara apna thaa
Woh shehar tumhara apna thaa
Who gali tumhari apni thee
Who makaan puraana apna thaa
Us dais ko phir kyon chora thaa
Kyon apnoo se munh mora thaa
Sab rishtoon ko kyo torra thaa
Array jo bhi thaa, kya thora thaa

Aur jab bhi desi mil kar bethain, qissay phir chirr jatay hain
Un tooti sarkoon ke qissay, un gandi galeyoon ke qissay
Un galeyoon mein phirne wale un sare bachoon ke qissay
Orangi hai Korangi hai pani ke nalkoon ke qissay
Un nalkoon per hone wale sare un jhagroon ke qissay
Aur nukkar wale darwaze per taat ke us parday ke qissay
Us parday ke peeche bethi albeli us naar ke qissay
Jis ki ek nazar ko tarsay saare un larkoon ke qissay
Jhootay qissay, sachay qissay pyar bhare us dais ke qissay
Pyar bhare us dais ko tum ne aakhir kyon-kar chora thaa
Kyon apnoo se munh mora thaa, sab rishtoon ko kyon torra thaa
Array jo bhi thaa, kya thora thaa

Tum phoolay nahe samaaye thay, jab embassy se aye thay
Har ek ko visa dikhatay thay, aur sath yeh kehtay jatay thay
Chand hi dinoo ki baat hai yaroon jab mein wapis aunga
Sath mein apne dhair se dollar aur patta bhi launga
Tum ne kab yeh socha hoga kya kya kuch pardais mein hoga
Apne dais ke hotay sotay be-watani ko rotay rotay
Dais ko tum pardes kahoge aur pardes ko dais kahoge
Dais ko tum ilzaam bhi doge ultay seedhay naam bhi doge
Dais ko tum ilzaam na do ultay seedhay naam na do
Dais ne tum ko chora thaa ya tum ne dais ko chora thaa
Kyon apnoo se munh mora thaa
Sab rishtoon ko kyo torra thaa
Array jo bhi thaa, kya thora thaa ...

New Header !!!

2011-03-20T09:05:00.003+05:30

Have got a new header for my blog. :)

Got it from Vivek Raghunathan's FLICKR Photostream

The photo has been put up here with the prior consent and permission of the photographer. Have used the "Angelic War" Font for the EUPHORIA Text.

Hope its nice. :)

I actually had something else in mind using the same photo, then changed my mind at the last minute and decided to use this.

அவன் அவள் - பாகம் - 11

2011-03-15T21:48:00.005+05:30

Ok.. An Avan-Aval after a loooong loooong time ...

Avan and Aval are colleagues who have just met and are getting know each other (as friends). The conversation deepens...

Aval :: Hey, nee Santhyavanthanam ellam pannuviya ?
Avan :: Nee yaaru Sandhya nnu Sollu... Naane poi Vanthanam pannnitu varraen...
Aval :: ???!!!#@$@#%#^$&$^%&%^&%^&%^&%^&

True Story !!! :)

बंद करो "भारत बंध" !!!!

2011-03-13T21:28:00.005+05:30

Dear PR/Communication&Branding Team @ SETMAX...

My apologies for being rude, but you just went down in history as being the most INSENSITIVE, STUPID and SHAMELESS Ad makers in the country..

I have only one question to ask...

How the bloody F*** (Yes, that's a delightful offensive word that I have chosen here)did you think you can come up with an ad that says BHARATH BANDH to promote YOUR DLF IPL ?

So, you people think BHARATH BANDH is just a joke ? In a country that has a population of more than 130 Crores, a BHARATH BANDH Cripples public life and you want to use the word to promote your program ? Seriously, Buddies, I call this Grossly sick in my terms.

I agree, India is a cricket - crazy nation, but that does not mean, you go down to these levels to promote your program.

For those of you, who try to chide me saying that I am making a fuss for something that is so trivial.

THIS IS NOT TRIVIAL.
This is an insult to the intelligence of the people in this country.

A TV Channel, cannot get away after making such ridiculously shameless advertisements.

SETMAX ?? Dislike - Infinitely

Who is the bloody Crafter of this "masterpiece" ?

Folks who talk about Telengana Bandh or Opposition Bandh on TV for hours together, they (SETMAX) are making fun of you and your issues. Can't you see that ?
TV Channels, (HT, CNN-IBN, Hindu etc..) What are you folks doing ? Enjoying the colorful euphemism ?

Journalism has become Porn in this country.
Not just soft-porn. HARD CORE.

You know what is Bliss... IV

2011-03-13T19:16:00.002+05:30

When you gorge on Two plates of Panipuri (your first in the past 4 months), with the thought that You Deserve it.. !!!

Bliss !!!

You know what is Bliss... III

2011-03-13T14:13:00.001+05:30

To have a steam bath, followed by a cold shower. And then a small walk in the hot sun to have Coconut Juice...

Bliss !!!

Arguably My Best "About Me" Till now..

2011-03-13T09:47:00.004+05:30

The Folks at TheStentorian Just nailed it I guess with an amazing About Me.. :)
For those of you who wanna know more about me... Read it... :)

A snapshot of the page below...

Coming up ... What's in the March Edition of Stentorian... :)

WriteSpace - Rocks !!! :)

2011-03-11T23:21:00.004+05:30

I have started using Chrome and am trying to get used to it.

I tried this new App called WorkSpace.

It Rocks !!!

T.o.t.a.l.l.y !!!

Imagine a Notepad that runs like Unix but has a Spellcheck. Opens right where you've stopped writing even after you've closed the Window. Is Full Screen. And Free !!! :)

When companies think too much about themselves...

2011-03-11T21:47:00.004+05:30

Being rude seems to be the order of the day. And I am not surprised at all. After all - This what Big Boss and Roadies teach us. Beep it.

Today, as I was surfing for interesting questions on Quora, I came across an interesting question. "Which Indian startups are hiring ?"

The number one answer on that list was InfinitelyBeta. Catchy name hunh ?

That's what I thought. I clicked on their Jobs page. I thought their Task Page was really very nice. Great way to test the young enthu fellows.

You know what pissed me off totally ?? The following snapshot.

For a company that is a startup, I think they have fallen into the trap of thinking that being Rude is ubercool. They may very well have such notions and dig their own grave.

Sigh.. !!!

Totally pathetic. And did not expect it from an Indian company. And a startup at that.
Disappointing to say the least ... !!!

Love is in the air...

2011-03-08T07:42:00.001+05:30

I wrote the below post for a magazine initiative run in my organization for Valentine's Day ....

******

As much as I would love to wax eloquently on ‘Love-is-in-the-air’ and ‘Cupid-and-his-arrows’ syndrome, come to accept it - Valentine’s day is the most dreaded day in the lives of committed men.
Valentine’s Day is synonymous with gifts and Gifts are aka Confusion. You have to be careful about your gift.
Here are the rules,

a.) It must make her happy and surprised.
b.) It must appear as if you’ve made some effort to get the gift.
c.) It should make her say, “How-Cute”. If you can get her to say that. Ahem Ahem. Half the battle is won.
d.) It must be wrapped neatly and tastefully.
e.) It must be presented where she least expects it to be presented. But don’t misconstrue the statement.
f.) Last but not the least; it must not remind her of your mom.

Keep the last rule, in Font-Size 48, ticker-taping in your head.
Another one of my friends has this huge grudge of Shahrukh Khan. He used to trash SRK at the drop of a hat. One fine day, (read night) we decided to make him reveal why he hated SRK so much. So after 4 rounds of Vodka, out came the truth.

“Arey… All this Valentine’s Day and stuff is sham, man. They were never shipped from Western countries. You know who brought all this to India? Shahrukh Khan!!!”

For a second, all of us looked at each other. SRK? Seriously?

He continued, “He was the one who brought in these Non-Bank-Holidays. If it wasn’t for Dil to Pagal Hai, or Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, Mohabattein, would you or I know about this, ‘Rose-Day’, ‘Friendship Day’, and ‘Chocolate-Day’, ‘Valentine’s day’?”

Man, he did have a point. I never knew Alcohol made you sober.

But why did he have a grudge on SRK?

“Seeing his movies, my girlfriend began to increase her expectations from me. She wanted me to go to only SRK movies. Buy SRK merchandise. She even wanted me to change my name to Raj. And that’s when we broke up.”

Needless to say, the rest of the evening, my friend spent sobbing.

I’ve had the opportunity many times to be the ‘Agony-Uncle’ for my friends. Once my friend came up to me and asked me for gift advice.

“Get her Xperia. She will go gaga”
“She is not a geek”
“Hmmm... How about a custom made dress by a fashion designer?”
“Done last year.”
“Cosmetics set?”
“First gift I gave her...”
“Spa/Beauty Parlour gift voucher…?”
“Her sister has got it from her husband last year, so she will think I simply copied the idea.”
“How about a hand-made greeting card?”
“I failed in my Arts-And-Crafts course at school dude…”
“Wrist watch? Hand bag?”
“All options exhausted buddy”

Then I came up with (in my opinion) a brilliant idea, “How about sponsoring her shopping expenses for one single day?”

My friend hasn’t spoken to me since.

Date a guy who reads...

2011-03-06T22:25:00.000+05:30

This is inspired by the MonicaBird Post, which was infact a re-blog from the original Rosemarie which was actually almost lost but was saved on Tumblr and that which was shared on Facebook. :)

Now I know I am not going to do full justice to the post if I were to use the same scenarios, but here is my take on the subject of dating guys... :)

Date a guy who reads. Ever seen a guy spend thousands of bucks at a bookstore. Bookmark him. He is probably the kind of guy you’d like to marry.

Find a guy who loves to read, and I can show you a philosopher, a romantic and a brave-heart. You’ll know him the moment you see him, by the detached look on his face, as if he does not connect with the world except the one that exists in his books. If his eyes light up on seeing a Orhan Pamuk or a Ernest Hemingway, He is the guy.

Ssshhhh !! Just heard a wolf whistle? That’s probably when the guy has found a rare book that he has been searching for days together. Can’t you see that the pages of the book that he carries around are still looking crisp and fresh? He can’t bear to see them soiled. He handles them so carefully, lest they get hurt. It hurts him to see a book without its cover or dog-eared pages and quickly sets about repairing them.

He’s the guy who is having the silently funny conversation with the librarian in the archives. And for a change the librarian is actually talking to him and she is even smiling at him now. Makes you wonder what sort of a charm does he cast. Ask him if he is interested in visiting a used-books stall after the library and he will be taken in.

He is the guy who when sitting in a bus, does not mind the jittery ride and continues to read the book, oblivious to all those beautiful girls around him. He does mind you stepping on his toes as long as you don’t let him take his eyes off his book. No !!! Don’t disturb him now. You are most likely to get an angry glare. Perhaps you might even be ignored.

Don’t pretend in front of him. He can see through you if you are saying things just to sound intelligent. Buy him a cup of coffee and make him talk on the books he loves. You can listen to his eloquent words for hours together. Don’t be scared if you get lost in Middle Earth. He will guide you through. Faust confuses you? He will explain the metaphor to you. He is the guy who does not realize that his tea has become cold and formed layers once he gets his hand on a book. Offer to buy him a book and he will follow you to the end of the world.

Get him books for his birthday, for New Year and Valentine’s Day as well. He is not going to complain. And of course, don’t forget to get the books listed on his wish list for Christmas. The man lives in his own world. No fault of his if he wants his life to resemble his favorite book. It’s probably the only thing he understands.

Disappoint him. Because a man who reads knows that the ointment for disappointment is books. You need not always be there for him. Gift him a book and he will feel your presence. Don’t be something that you are not, to him. He knows that people are like characters. It takes them time to grow. If you find a man who reads, keep him away from society. He is a prized catch.

If you find him depressed for days together, ask him the title of the book that he read. Understand what the story meant to him and hold him. Yes!! Hold him. He needs it very badly. He may not cry, but his hug will speak a thousand words, and his smile will make your day. Prod him and he will talk. He will speak on how he felt as if he was inside the book, and how the decision of the protagonists changed his view on things.

Propose to him – with a bookmark. He will understand. In case he doesn’t, send him a couple of books with a telegram. And when even that doesn’t give him the clue, Write a book and ask him to proofread.

Don’t be surprised if he names your kids with strange names. That was bound to happen. He will show your children the philosophy of being altruistic. He will show the kids how it feels to stop by woods on a snowy evening. And perhaps someday he will show his kids that there is a greater heaven. Who knows, someday you might just be reciting “Lochinvar” under your breath as you walk with him to the supermarket.

Date a guy who reads because you deserve it. He can make your life colorful and yet make you feel grounded. Don’t tempt him with vices of the material world, they mean nothing to him. Show him the way to the world of books and he will show you the way to his heart.

Comments and suggestions are welcome.

Why People do not respond to emails ...

2011-03-06T21:04:00.003+05:30

Now this is a question that has oft been asked at hundreds of forums all around the world and it was recently posed to me by a good friend of mine...

The moment the question was asked, the Egoist in me got back with some major reasons...

Here they are

People are just damn bloody lazy.

I simply hate this lethargy or laziness when it comes to replying to e-mails. How long is it going to take ? Just a couple of clicks. And probably something like a 100 keystrokes ? Definitely less than a tweet.

It's not important.

I simply do not understand how people get that notion, that It's not important. "Oh I thought it was not so important." The biggest irritant with such morons - You actually have to call up these morons and tell them that you've sent them an email and you want them to reply to it. "Oh.. You have sent me a mail kya ?" ... "Aiyoo Raama... !!!!" Worst thing ... "I think I deleted the mail. Can you send again... " And that is usually the straw that breaks the camel's back. I sometimes wonder, who is the bloody HR who picked them up. And from which zoo.

The only question usually topmost on my mind would be
How the bloody f*** can someone ignore my email ? Yes. That's an obscenity. I hate ignorers of email. Totally abhor them. You can ignore a mail if it comes from a stranger or a mail that claims to enlargen your penis size by 60% or someone who is in third-world African country and is promising you a "large" portion of his grandfather's wealth. But ignoring a mail from someone you know... especially me. God Save you the next time we meet in the elevator.

YOU are not important.

Yes.. !! Surprised ? Don't be. You probably are not important to that person. He/She simply does not care !!!

I would sometimes seriously think, "What sort of work do people do, that they don't have time to check and clear their inboxes ?"

To be honest, I am a stickler for a clean Inbox. There is not a single unread email in my Gmail/Office mail boxes at any point of time. I decide then and there whether or not to keep the message. Whether or not to delete the message. And mind you, my Gmail Account size is close to 98% being FULL. (ignoring SPAM)

Now the rationalist in me counters...

Are you sure you are not taking this a bit too far ? You ARE overreacting. Its just an e-mail !!!

Other people don't live for you.

They have their own lives. They have their families. They have kids to worry about. Boyfriends and Girlfriends to attend to. Just because you set your standards high, does not necessarily mean they have to do so too.

They are busy. And by busy I mean REALLY BUSY.

Maybe their job does not currently revolve around a computer. Maybe they are away at a training session. Maybe on call since morning. Maybe there is something important that the boss has asked him/her to complete and they are at it.

You are sending TOO MANY EMAILS.

Are you sure you are not sending too many emails. It always happens. People get totally frustrated when they keep receiving emails one on top of another from the same person. This can definitely be a source of non-reply. I have seen this happen with many a colleague.

Are you hyping or confused with the words IMPORTANT & URGENT ?

Many people send out important mails as URGENT !!! There is a difference between IMPORTANT and URGENT. What is Important may not be urgent right now. And what is Urgent may/may not be Important (though 90% of the cases :: Urgent is Important).

For more on this, I seriously recommend following the Matrix method as described in First Things First by Steven Covey.

[Image Courtesy :- Wikipedia]

I do not wish to conclude or pass judgement on this topic.
Its open for discussion.

#101

2011-03-05T22:05:00.005+05:30

Yay !!!!! This is really sweet. Sweeter than Sachin hitting a six off the sweetest part of his bat. :)

My current blog ranking is #101 among all personal blogs on Indiblogger. :) :D

Two weeks back I was discussing on FB on how my current IndiRank is and where I am placed in the Blogger Rank Roll. :)

At that time, a friend of mine had congratulated him, and I had mentioned to him that my blog will be among the top 100 within a year.

Well the rankings for March just came by and I seem to be inching closer to that mark. :)

Let's do a tag ... !!!

2011-03-05T21:28:00.003+05:30

20 years ago I . . .

a young boy, trying hard to learn Hindi, just to avoid getting bullied.

Loved reading Super Commando Dhruv and Chacha Chowdhary.

Became famous in school for giving "a gaali" and was made to do a "murga" in front of the whole school. Totally unforgettable and humiliating experience.

10 years ago I . . .

a young lad, trying hard to beat his peers in school.

Learnt a number of spiritual texts.

Became more mature. Learnt a lot about human beings. Especially the Female Psychology.

5 years ago I . . .

a Mature young man, working his way through one of the top colleges in the country.

Free thinking, independent. Never bothered. Read hell a lot of books.

Realized, in life, you have to let go of somethings and never let go of some other things. The trouble came when I did not which was which.

3 years ago I . . .

Full of energy and enthusiasm because I was going to become part of the corporate lifestyle.

Started this blog.

Stayed away from my family for the first time.

1 year ago I . . .

I decided I was going to break free of all the clutter in my life.

Decided I was going to do something useful with my skills and my life.

Started and finished my Magnum Opus - The Mahabharata War in my own language.

Paid more attention to the "The Story of My Life." My offline readers know more about this. :P And they are loving it !!!
[It will come to this blog eventually - but first let me take the story to a point where I can actually say - "There, i've written something..."] :P

So far this year I . . .

Managed to get bloody pissed off at work - for all the right reasons.

Made a resolution and am sticking to it. Steadfast.

Got myself a new laptop !!! :)

... am having a great time.

Yesterday I . . .

Left office a bit early.

Typed my heart out at the computer.

Earned another fan for "The Story of my life." :)

Today I . . .

Took loads of rest.

Got myself a French Beard.

Did not do something that I should have been doing.

Read a couple of hilarious blogs.

Currently digging into my "archives" for a particularly interesting pdf that I read in the past and unable to recollect its location or its name.

Tomorrow I will . . .

Do the thing that I said I did not do today. :P

Will take out my camera after a brief hiatus and start "shooting".

Try to memorise the Baala Kaand.

Next year I will . . .

I will interview SuperStar, Chiranjeevi and Amitabh Bachchan.

Become the #1 Personal Blogger in the country.

My About me will read "Social Media Analyst, Genius, Deus Ex Machina (:P), Script Writer, Columnist, Photographer, Celebrity Blogger"

Tagging everybody who read this. :)

You know what is Bliss... II

2011-03-04T22:22:00.003+05:30

Standing out of the balcony of my flat. Late on a friday evening. A cool breeze blowing. Gently cooling your sweaty body. Ipod plugged in. And listening to...

வானம் எனக்கொரு போதிமரம்
நாளும் எனக்கது செய்தி தரும்
ஒரு நாள் உலகம் நீதி பெரும்
திருநாள் நிகழும் தேதி வரும

Bliss !!!

Apollo's Song - Osamu Tezuka - Brilliant !!!

2011-03-04T22:17:00.009+05:30

I always underestimated Anime/Manga. Thought they were far too simple (as in the drawings) and they were all the same. I could never tell the difference between two characters. All had the same spiky hair style and the pointed nose. There was no way I was going to read Manga.

And that was until I read Apollo's Song by Osamu Tezuka.

Osamu Tezuka is known as the "GodFather of Anime" and rightly so. His contribution to Anime is and will be considered as great a contribution by Disney to Animation. His fans address him as "the father of manga" and "the god of comics" sometimes. The wiki link is quite useful in knowing more about Osamu Tezuka, in case you are interested. Though Apollo is not touted to be his best work, his claim to fame was the "Astro Boy". The story of Astro Boy is uncannily similar to that of Enthiran. :)

Now coming to Apollo's song.
I definitely recommend reading the wiki page before you start reading the comic, if you are the one who wants to read and understand more about the nature of the comic.

Coming back to the comic. The story starts on a serious note - as to why do humans mate. And then the story clips to Shogo Chikaishi,a young boy, who is brought to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist gives him an electric shock and it 'tele'ports him into an imaginary world, where an Athena like goddess goes through his past and declares that

(he) would have to experience love across different time periods for the rest of eternity, dying repeatedly until he can one day understand the true meaning of love.

From that point onwards the story is 'penta'furcated. Each one is a masterpiece by itself.

First part is titled Die Blumen und die Leiche. Meaning Flowers and the Corpse. Shogo is a Nazi soldier on a train that is transporting Jews to a concentration camp. An allied attack forces Shogo to rescue and elope a Jew girl - Elise, who thinks that Shogo was responsible for the attack and shoots at him. As he lays, dying, some German soldiers arrive at the place and try to rape the girl. Shogo using the last of his strength rescues the girl however both die. In each other's arms.

Second Part is No Man' Land. Shogo is a pilot with a young female reporter and the plane crashes onto an island. For his hunger, Shogo kills a rabbit. This was against the law of the Jungle and the rabbits physically hurt Naomi, almost maiming her. Shogo learns the rules of the Jungle and nurses Naomi back to health. Shogo and Naomi both know that they like each other but Naomi has a lot more at stake. Just when they realise that they are in love, comes a ship full of poachers that wants these animals. In the scuffle that ensues Naomi is shot and killed. Shogo dies in the subsequent Volcano explosion.

Third Part actually happens in the real world and is titled "The Coach". Shogo escapes from the psychiatrist asylum after killing a nymphomaniac and another woman. As he runs away from the police he is rescued by a woman, Hiromi who has seen him run and wants to coach him to be Marathon runner so that one day he can run the marathon for her. Naomi's fiance is also a trainer and wants Shogo in his team and tries to lure him into his team, but Shogo refuses. An altercation happens and Shogo is found lying half dead in a valley.

Fourth Part is called Queen Sigma and happens sometime in future. Shogo has reached a world where clones called Synthians have overtaken the world and in-order for humans to survive it is necessary to kill Queen Sigma and Shogo is chosen for the job. Shogo succeeds only to realise that no-matter how many times he eliminates the Queen, she will keep coming back. Finally when he realises that he is in love with Queen Sigma, the Queen's bodyguard (another clone) kills Shogo.

Fifth and final part is titled Lover's Hill. And it continues in reality. Shogo rescues a girl from a double suicide case. When confessing to Hiromi that he had pushed the dead body of the guy off the cliff to infuse some sense into the woman, she overhears it and jumps off from the cliff. Meanwhile the Psychiatrist arrives at Hiromi's place and asks her to become "The Laurel Wreath".

Shogo overhears this and tries to run away from the place. Hiromi and her fiance try to race each other in order to find Shogo and the result is an accident where Hiromi is very badly injured. Shogo picks up her body and walks around the forest only to realise that is surrounded and he is going to be arrested. As a last resort, he dumps Hiromi's body in an oil barrel and challenges the Police to shoot him, which they do.

Shogo once again reaches the abode of Athena where she proclaims judgement that Shogo would have to go through this endless cycle of finding-love and losing it.

The dialogues are crisp. Totally awesome. Black and white imagery is kind of hard-hitting. Expressions are nicely evolved. Shogo's face somehow almost always carries a smile. Could have avoided that. Each and every character has been carefully characterized, giving importance to facial features and language. This is easily one of the best comics I have read till date.

Brilliant would be an understatement.

P.S:- Osamu Tezuka's masterpiece - Buddha - Next Comic Book review.. :)

The most embarrassing moment of my life !!!

2011-03-01T22:47:00.003+05:30

Well, I've been waiting to tell this story for a long long time... To get it off my mind and to give relief to my over-worked er.. mind.

This incident touted as "The Kumaran Silks" incident remains as the biggest scar in my otherwise spotless life.. :P :D. I've never felt more embarrassed than that, in all of my 25 years. This incident happened around 2001.

Boy meets Girl outside a store.
Boy Sees Girl.
Girl Sees Boy.
Boy is embarrassed.

Well that's the story in a one liner.

Here are the nuts and bolts.

I went with my parents to T.Nagar, to do some shopping and my mom, after a lot of purchases on the street decided to go into Kumaran silks. I was damn tired walking the street in the afternoon, and told her that I would sit outside the Kumaran Silks and wait for her. She said, "Fine. Suit yourself." and went inside.

Now outside this store is famous for its seats outside the shop. I've seen many a handsome husband turn into bent-back old men on these benches. And of course, many a child has graduated from Diaper to Underwear on these very benches. And of course sensing all this many vendors decided to capitalize on this. So, it is in front of Kumaran silks you will find Chana-masala stall, Balloon stall, Helicopter vendor, 4 feet pencil vendors, And of course "Cut and Salted Raw Mango" sellers. And it is precisely one of these vendors that caused my embarrassment.

After I went and sat in one of the seats, I was observing people all around me. There was this small girl (must be around 3-4 years old) who was running around and falling here and there. She was very much cute and was with a Young Girl (hence forth referred to as YG). Now this Young Girl must have been somewhere around 15-16 years of age. (:P)

What happened was that YG went to this mango vendor and got herself two slices of cut-raw-mango. She gave one to the little girl and the other she had it in her hand. Now she was standing some 10 feet away from me and I was sitting on a chair that had 5 empty seats next to it. Basically there was no one to obstruct my view of the girl. :P

Now to tell you about this YG. She was pretty (not sooooo beautiful and stuff... Simple yet pretty.. If you know what I mean) and tall and was wearing an attractive dress.

At one point of time, our eyes met. (nothing like Annalum Nokinaal, Avalum Nokkinaal types.) Just for a second. No, there was no thunder storm and lightning and nor could I hear violins and veena play in the background. Nobody showered flowers. Basically Nothing happened.

And,

I made a mistake here.

I looked at the girl, for a fraction of a second more. Just a teeny weeny fraction !!! That moment of time would not be long enough to qualify for the time to wink an eyelid.

And the next thing the girl did was to adjust her dupatta !!!

Seriously, I was not looking THERE. :( :( :(

Needless to say, it left me totally red-eared. I did not even look in her direction till my mom came out. Left me with a deep psychological scar. Sigh.. Why do men have to be sooooo stereotyped.

This single incident totally shook my belief system in women. :P :D

Andhiyaara Dhalkar Hi Rahega !!! - अंधियारा ढलकर ही रहेगा

2011-02-27T20:27:00.003+05:30

This definitely has to be a lucky day of my life. I have been searching for this poem for the past seven years approximately and I find it today. :) :D

I found the original transliterated into English at Kashish.

I couldn't resist the temptation. Hence took some time to transliterate back to the original !!!

Yippeee.. And it has come out really really well.. Oh. I feel seriously so happy...

My tribute to Neelam Ma'm, who taught me this poem.

आंधियाँ चाहे उठाओ बिजलियाँ चाहे गिराओ
जल गया है दीप तो अंधियारा ढलकर ही रहेगा

रौशनी पूँजी नहीं है,जो तिजोरी में समाए
वोह खिलौना भी न,जिसका दाम हर ग्राहक लगाए
वोह पसीने की हँसी है,वह शहीदों की उम्र है
जो नया सूरज उगाये जब तड़प कर तिलमिलाए
उग रही लौ को न टोको,ज्योति के रथ को न रोको.
यह सुबह का दूत हर तम को निगलकर ही रहेगा
जल गया है दीप तो अंधियारा ढल कर ही रहेगा ...

है जवानी तो हवा हर एक घूंघट खोलती है
टोक दो तो आँधियों की बोलियों में बोलती है
वह नहीं क़ानून मानें,वह नहीं प्रतिबन्ध माने
वह पहाड़ियों पर बदलियों सी उचलती डोलती है
जाल चांदी का लपेटो,खून का सौदा समेटो
आदमी हर क़ैद से बाहर निकलकर ही रहेगा
जल गया है दीप तो अंधियारा ढलकर ही रहेगा

वक़्त को जिसने नहीं समझा उसे मिटना पड़ा है
बच गया तलवार से तो फूल से कटना पड़ा है
क्यों न कितनी ही बड़ी हो,क्यों न कितनी ही कठिन हो
हर नदी की राह से चट्टान को हटना पड़ा है
उस सुबह से संधि कर लो हर किरण की मांग भर लो
है जगा इंसान तो मौसम बदलकर ही रहेगा
जल गया है दीप तो अंधियारा ढलकर ही रहेगा

पुष्प की अभिलाषा

2011-02-27T20:16:00.000+05:30

- माखनलाल चतुर्वेदी (Makhanlal Chaturvedi)

चाह नहीं मैं सुरबाला के
गहनों में गूँथा जाऊँ

चाह नहीं, प्रेमी-माला में
बिंध प्यारी को ललचाऊँ

चाह नहीं, सम्राटों के शव
पर हे हरि, डाला जाऊँ

चाह नहीं, देवों के सिर पर
चढ़ूँ भाग्य पर इठलाऊँ

मुझे तोड़ लेना वनमाली
उस पथ पर देना तुम फेंक

मातृभूमि पर शीश चढ़ाने
जिस पर जावें वीर अनेक ।

I will probably never forget this poem till I die...

திரு(ட்டு)விளையாடல்

2011-02-27T15:03:00.001+05:30

Took this off a facebook forum.

All credit to original uploaders.

Honeymoon - पंद्रह करोड़ का !!!

2011-02-26T14:02:00.009+05:30

Ah.. The title got you here isn't it.. ???
You surely haven't heard of this one right ???

:) Yay !!!

This is Haricharan bringing you the first of the best news from across the country...

A new reality show is about to hit you with the full force of a Shatabdi..

Its the Honeymoon - पंद्रह करोड़ का !!!

What ?? You don't get it ??

Its simple. You have to spend 15 crores on your honeymoon.

I can hear screams from your end !!! Yeah.. Even I want to scream my heart out, in anguish. अरे क्या करूंगा मैं पंद्रह करोड़ का ?

But don't think its gonna be easy..

Here are the rules and conditions.

1.) You should have got married less than 45 days of the start of shoot. There will be checking of marriage registration certificates.

Rationale :: This is reality TV. We don't want behenji's and mamaji's participating. Young couples. Hot blooded. More TRP.

2.) Your marriage should not have consummated. (Yes.. That's the new Reality.. Disgusting.. ??? Read on...)

Rationale :: If you've already got the girl, WhyTF do you need a honeymoon. Honeymoon is all about wooing the girl and making the cut. Makes sense right. Amazing insight by the producers.

3.) Only one partner will plan the honeymoon. The other person will be kept unawares of the entire plan.

Rationale :: So that we can have a huuuuuggge scene created at airport or tourist location wherever the honeymoon is planned. Producers will ensure that the girl is scared of air-travel or boat-ride that they can have some tear jerkers as well.

4.) At the end of the honeymoon, the couple should not have anything material or monetary out of the exercise. Implies, no gifts, no clothes, no jewelery, no nothing bought from the 15 crores. There must be vouchers, bills and receipts. Every paisa must be accounted for.

Rationale :: (sounds like Arunachalam?? Well the producers just lifted it from there.) The producers feel that the couple got their fair share of limelight. Now scoot !!!

5.) The camera will accompany them 24X7. Yes. You read that right. 24X7.

Rationale :: If they don't get some intimate scenes, WhyTF do they need such a program. Get it ? TRP's will shoot through the roof when advertising with kisses and hugges. (We are already overloaded with all this from that juvenile show, what do they call it ??? Ah.. S P I T S V I L L A !! No.. that was not a typo. Intended.)

6.) The couple will not talk with any of their parents AT ANY TIME during the course of their honeymoon.

Rationale :: The channel will have three weeks of special filming at their parents' place, shooting them with tears. Making them show the photographs from their childhood. Even their Chachere Bhaai's Mausa's Maama will make it to the show and recollect fondly how the boy's father insulted him.

7.) At the end of every day of honeymoon, [which will be edited and split up to be telecasted on three days], there will be a vote by the viewers, which will decide whether the couple deserve to continue their honeymoon. If they fail, a new couple will be selected and the whole process continues.

Rationale :: Customer is King. King never bargains. King is never wrong. So if the Customer feels that the couple are "feeka", its time to give them the boot. And after giving them the boot, two more days we can show their journey in the show, FROM THE BEGINNING, in black and white, all their fights, their parents in tears, friends in shock....

8.) Celebrity couples will travel to the honeymoon spot and give the couple "tasks". All the while the celebrity wife will try to seduce the young man, while the celebrity husband will get cozy with the girl.

Rationale :: This is the way the viewers can see the love between the boy and girl. The jealously must be visible. Sleazily dressed Celebrity Wifey is a must and the Celebrity husband must be a six packer with his shirt open all the time. More skin-show. More glamor.More TRP's.

9.) In case of a massive fight between the couple, the boy/girl's ex will be brought in.

Rationale :: What use are cupboards if there are no skeletons in them. When there is a fight, prolong it. Push it. Drama is what the audience wants. The arrival of the ex will only increase the interest in the drama. News channels will start discussing "Axe your ex".

10.) Post the honeymoon, the couple will be required to undergo the Fidelity-Lie-Detector Test and also a psychiatric test.

Rationale :: As the producers we do not want lives of young couples to be ruined. Also such medical treatments will show the channel in good light.

The show is touted to be hosted by none other than Meena Vallik and Pashmit Atel. One hot TV couple, who made it BIG at the house of the BOSS.

Just IMAGINE !!!

P.S:- Inspired by this.
P.P.S:- Find it disgusting ?? Please write a petition to Information and Broadcasting Ministry on banning programs like the above. and of course, Programs like Roadies, Big Boss, Axe your Ex, SplitsVilla. And then I might consider taking this piece off. Err... I meant, taking the post off.

The Libran Girl	The Other Libran Girl
Pretty headstrong and is capable of taking independent decisions and stick to them.	Needs a lot of coaxing to even get into the decision making mode.
Takes time to take decisions but those are usually correct/sensible/morally right.	Keeps contemplating options even after making a decision.
Is pretty much non-Geek. Doesn't delve too much into techie stuff.	Totally GEEK. Can take down any Geeky guy with her coding knowledge and skills.
Knows a couple of languages.	Knows a whole bunch of languages and is a instructor in some of them.
Knows her epics like the back of her hand. Pretty much up-to-date with controversies.	Totally clueless. Cannot differentiate Sita from Mandodari.
Reads extensively and keeps herself updated with the outside world	"Reading ?? What is that?". Reads only non-fiction. (Thank God). Selectively.
Very Very persistent. Sticks to one thing and makes sure she gets it.	Totally without "stick-to-it"ness. Will drop and move on to other things, at the drop of a hat.
Not that social. Has a good number of friends. Does not bother if one of them disowns. :P	Very Social. Huge Social Circle. 'n' number of friends with whom she HAS to kind of socialize otherwise they will disown her.
Does not pay much attention to make-up and cosmetics, but can look very pretty when she makes an effort to. And can dress-to-kill for the occasion.	Dresses for every single event as if it were some wedding reception. Has to look stunning and will go to any effort to look totally awesome. :)
Awesome Attention span. Very Good listener.	Suffers from AADS (Advanced Attention Deficiency Syndrome). Cannot concentrate on one thing for more than 10 minutes max. After which subject loses interest and changes tack. Bad listener. Excellent Yapper.
Can remember things from conversations that happened really really long time ago and those that I labeled as trivial.	Pathetic short term memory. Cannot remember stories that were told the day before.
Tone and Choice of words – pretty much aggressive. J Will not hesitate to abuse.	Pretty much toned down choice of words. But, Will not hesitate to abuse.
Signature Word :: "Hare Krsna !!!"	Signature Word :: "Yeah, Right !!!"